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The stars were bright tonight, despite all the light pollution. Adan wondered all the time what the sky looked like in secluded areas. He had seen pictures and videos, but real life always beat reproductions. Adan had never been anywhere, except to hell. He twisted the tail on his pajamas and refused to go down that road. Adan did what he always did when he couldn’t breathe. He thought about Boone.

Not the Boone who hated him now, but the one who had loved him. Adan imagined he was the only person who ever truly had. He recalled every second of the first time they met. Adan had been sassy. That was always how he dealt with being nervous. Adan shivered. He knew what he had lost, but Adan wasn’t allowed to show it because it was completely his fault. Just like everything else, Boone was completely gone from him now. It was a bad mental health day. Not that he had good days.

“You look cozy.”

Adan startled at Axton’s sudden appearance. He had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn’t heard Axton’s Harley approach. Adan looked down at his fuzzy pajamas—one of the few things he had been allowed to keep when tossed in the street. “Yeah. Sorry. I know you’re not into the whole Little scene.”

“Don’t apologize.” Axton filled the lounge beside him. “I’d never change who you are.”

“Really? I would. Change who I am, I mean. Not you,” he clarified.

Axton’s light gaze locked on to him. His nose ring caught the light. Everything about him fascinated Adan. He was the opposite of everyone Adan had ever known—in looks, anyhow. Axton was just as dangerous and deadly as everyone who had ever been in Adan’s life. But he definitely wasn’t the clean-cut expensive suit guy Adan had been surrounded by for years, and it was strangely comforting. Those suit-wearing guys had murdered his soul.

Adan had to change the subject. “Do you mind if I’m extra nosey?”

Axton shrugged. He nodded toward Adan’s open wine bottle. “Do you mind if I take a swig of that?”

“Go for it.”

Adan watched as Axton dug out a baggie full of pills and fished out a couple. He washed them down with Adan’s wine. Axton winced. “Shit. That’s nasty.” He held the bag out. “Do you want in on this?”

Curiosity always won. Adan leaned closer. It wasn’t like he had anything going for him anyhow. He eyed the pills. “There’s a lot of them. I wouldn’t know what to take.” But he wanted to. Just like with the wine, it was disgusting because Adan didn’t know how to pick alcohol. Beau had never let him drink.

Axton shook the bag and eyed the inside. He hunted through the contents and found two white ones that looked alike. “Take these. They won’t knock you out or have you bouncing off the walls. You’ll just feel good.”

That sounded amazing to Adan. He washed them down with the wine. It truly was gross. His tongue immediately loosened.

“Sorry. I didn’t know which wine to pick. Wrecker’s husband only recently took me to get my ID so I could buy alcohol. Beau never let me drink or anything. All the stuff Tabitha used to down is way out of my price range. Sorry. I shouldn’t talk about them.”

“You should stop saying you’re sorry.”

Adan fought the urge to say it again. Instead, he blurted out his question. “How did you end up in prison? I mean, I know you killed somebody, but what happened?”

Axton took another big swig of the nasty wine, as if he needed fortification. He swiped the back of his hand across his mouth. “How about we trade? I’ll answer that one as soon as you tell me how you ended up with Beau.”

Adan wanted to cringe, but it was a fair trade. He couldn’t imagine prison was much better than Beau. His head spun a little. He leaned back and stared at the sky. The euphoric feeling that slowly overcame him made it easier to talk.

“I was young, dumb, and easily manipulated.” A humorless laugh escaped him. He didn’t want to relive the past, but it was all Adan saw as he explained. “Unfortunately, it didn’t start with him. I grew up being my uncle’s special little guy.” Chill bumps rose on Adan’s skin. If Axton didn’t know what he meant, Adan couldn’t explain. There weren’t enough drugs in the world for that story. “I became someone I’m not proud of, but I survived. Then I met Boone.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, just picturing Boone and the way he had felt safe for the first time in his life. “I thought I had won the jackpot. He still lived with Beau back then. I practically lived there too, spending as much time as I could away from home. His house felt like home to me.” It truly had, and he fucking hated that now.

Adan swallowed his bitterness and continued. “Since Boone works for his dad, he had to run errands a lot. It was pretty common for me to hang around even when he wasn’t there. We had a fight. It was so stupid, I don’t even remember what it was about. Probably me being a bitch.” A humorless laugh fell from Adan’s lips. “Anyhow, it wasn’t a quiet fight. There was no need to be discreet since Beau and Tabitha were screaming and throwing shit at each other. Truthfully, Boone’s anger was probably due to their antics. Not that it matters now.”

Adan drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, trying to make himself smaller. “Beau stormed into the room, looking thunderous. He barked for Boone to get the fuck out and get to work. Tempers were high all around, but Boone left. When he was gone, I don’t know what happened, really. Beau kind of bitched about me always being there. I got bitchy right back, and he laughed. He transformed into someone I had never seen before.”

He finally looked Axton’s way. “I know you’ve done some work for Beau, but do you know him? Like, have you ever truly sat and talked to him?”

Axton shook his head.

Adan held his stare. He needed Axton to understand this part, if nothing else. “He’s terrifyingly larger than life. When you sit with him, it’s like watching a cobra dance. You know he could strike any second and you’ll be dead, but you can’t look away. Even when he smiles, maybe especially when he smiles, you’re in serious danger.” He looked away and went back to watching the stars. “There’s no soul inside him. What he felt for Tabitha and what he feels for his sons, it isn’t love. It’s possessiveness—like a dragon and its hoard. Once he makes a decision, everyone has to fall in line and play their part to perfection. He doesn’t consider anyone else’s feelings because he has none. Beau enjoys nothing more than to throw the L word around because he doesn’t know the difference between ironclad control and adoration. So when he told me I now lived there permanently and I would never return to the horrible life I had known, I only had one other choice besides doing as told. I could die because there was no way he could make that decision and risk me telling Boone if I said no. It was one thing to break his son while telling himself he had to have me. It was a whole other for Boone to learn he tried to take me, and I refused. I don’t expect you to understand that. You’re not like him. But I understood, because maybe I sort of am like him. I broke Boone and sold my soul. The worst part is, I think—at the time—I wanted it. He was the most powerful person I had ever encountered. I knew no one would dare touch me again.”

He looked Axton’s way again. A bitter smile tugged at his lips. “Like I said, young and stupid. At the time, I didn’t understand that death could sometimes be better. But make no mistake, I played that role. For ten years, I smiled and flirted. Got on my knees. I stood where I was told to stand and laughed when told to laugh. I’ve been a puppet for so long, I have no idea who I am, but I lived. I survived.”

“Jarek says you’re the reason Boone tried to kill himself.”

Adan’s wince came from his soul. He looked away and sipped his wine. No one could know how much Adan hated Axton knowing that part. “Yeah. I thought Beau would toss me out back then, but Boone survived, and it was like Beau had to double down. He had to love me, or he had destroyed his son for nothing. So Beau claimed to love me, and I—” Adan swiped his sweaty palms on his thighs. “So, how did you end up in prison?” He couldn’t talk about himself any longer or the destruction he had caused. Adan already had to live with the pain. He didn’t think he could handle Axton looking at him differently.

“I was young and dumb and didn’t realize there were worse fates than death.”

They shared a smile. It was ridiculous. The moment shouldn’t have been funny, but it kind of was. Adan felt ridiculously close to Axton sometimes. They were so different, yet alike.

Axton broke the spell. He shook his head and looked away. “I ran with this biker gang. Don’t ask me how I got mixed up with them. It was a series of too many small things to recount. Things were bad at home. They were there, giving me an unhealthy outlet. I got pretty heavy into drugs and even deeper into their bullshit.”

A bitter smile touched Axton’s lips. He looked Adan’s way. “It was everything you see in the movies except worse. They told me I had to kill a guy, so I did.” He said the words so casually—like a life meant nothing and then kept going. “My brother is a damn good lawyer, but even he couldn’t save me completely. He got my charges reduced to manslaughter. I still got a massive sentence, but I was supposed to only serve seven years. Then I just couldn’t stay out of trouble and they kept tacking on time. So when I was asked to kill someone else in exchange for my freedom, I did. A murder landed me behind bars, and another saved me. So yeah, I get how you couldn’t say no. Beau wanted me to kill a snitch before the guy could testify against his family. For me, it was a no brainer. Saying yes to Beau saved me too. Maybe not my soul,” he said with a bright smile that was obviously fake. “But that was a lost cause anyhow.”

Yeah. As fucked up as it was, he felt closer to Axton than anyone. His gaze moved over the hair so light, it looked almost unnaturally white in the moonlight. Cold-blooded killer or not, he was grateful Axton was here. Maybe bad people always found each other. Whatever the reason, Adan was thankful for the company at the bottom. Even if he had a choice, Adan would still choose Axton for company. Like recognized like.

Axton saw what Beau had seen in Adan. The guy had a spark. He was beautiful and just the right amount of bitter. Someone like Beau would take one look at Adan and see someone he could twist and bend. He looked too caustic to break. Everything about that would speak to a monster like Beau. There was no sport in crushing a weak man. He wondered if Beau thought he had won now. Unfortunately, Axton had a bad feeling Beau wanted Adan twice as much. That was a deadly spot for anyone in Adan’s sphere. Luckily, Axton should have died a long time ago, and he wasn’t the least bit scared. He had killed for Beau. He could kill Beau too.

“You feeling those pills yet?”

Adan cocked his head, as if thinking over Axton’s question. “Oddly, no. I only feel a slight buzz. That could be the wine.”

“Something more powerful it is.” He picked through the bag again and passed Adan two more pills. “If you pass out, I don’t know how easy it’ll be to carry you down the ladder.”

Adan tossed the pills back without inspecting them. After polishing off the wine and swallowing the pills, Adan stood. “Let’s go inside, then. I bought a different bottle of something or another. We can open that and see if I die.” The way Adan smiled proved he wasn’t opposed to the idea.

“I’d be sad if you died, so maybe don’t do that.” He stood and followed Adan down the ladder. Together, they headed inside Adan’s tiny apartment. Adan made his way to the kitchen, and Axton stayed on his heels. He didn’t know why. Axton just liked being in Adan’s company. He wanted to enjoy as much of Adan’s time as he could get.

Adan pulled a bottle of Jack out of the fridge.

Axton laughed at the sight of it. He didn’t think Adan would handle that well at all, but he couldn’t wait to see.

At his laugh, Adan turned and bumped into Axton’s chest. He eyed Axton’s body, blinking. He laughed.

It occurred to him Adan was more fucked up than he realized.

Adan chuckled again. “You’re just so fucking big.”

A smile exploded across Axton’s face.

Adan didn’t stop there. “You just take up so much space. My apartment feels even smaller.” He cocked his head and met Axton’s stare. “It’s just occurred to me I don’t know what your place looks like. Is it built for a giant?”

He wasn’t quite that big. “Would you like to see my place?”

“Sure.” He set the bottle aside and pressed his hand against his forehead. “Whoa. Maybe not tonight, though.”

Axton couldn’t stop smiling. He couldn’t explain why he was having so much fun, but he hadn’t been this happy in a long time. Maybe it was because Adan officially knew him better than anyone and still wanted to be around him.

Adan swayed.

Axton jumped into action. “I’ve got you.” He swept Adan off his feet.

A loud laugh burst from Adan. “Wow. Big and strong.”

Axton shook his head. “Where are we headed? The couch or the bed?”

For a moment, Adan stared up at him—like having an existential crisis.

An uncomfortable laugh escaped Axton. They were simply standing there, and he wasn’t sure Adan hadn’t checked out.

His laughter seemed to shake Adan from his frozen state. “Do you want to take me to bed?”

It was Axton’s turn to internally panic. He didn’t know the right answer. Did he want to take Adan to bed? That obviously wasn’t what he meant, but Adan had asked, and now Axton didn’t know how to answer. Adan was beautiful, and Axton liked him better than most people. It was possible Adan’s whole Little thing had stopped him from seeing Adan sexually, but now that he had been asked directly, he couldn’t say he didn’t want Adan. Fuck. Did he want Adan? He smelled good, and Axton was always ridiculously happy to see him. In fact, Axton woke up every day and plotted excuses to see him. Goddamn. He wanted the guy.

Axton shook his head, coming back to himself. As he focused on Adan, a chuckle escaped him. He was dead to the world. “Bed, it is.”

He headed for the bedroom. It was a mess. Axton wasn’t surprised. Adan seemed very chaotic. The unmade bed made it easier for Axton to tuck him beneath the covers. For a moment, he simply stared at Adan, trying to figure out what he should do now. Adan looked kind of overheated. He uncovered him. There. The kitty pajamas should be enough. He gently removed the kitten ears headband and set it aside.

With nothing left to do, Axton moved through Adan’s apartment, doing everything he would before going to bed at home. He made Adan a glass of ice water and left a few Tylenol next to it. With that out of the way, he found Adan’s phone and plugged it in. He pulled out his phone and texted Adan so he would see it in the morning.

Axton: Fucking lightweight, I showed myself out. If you’re serious about seeing my place, I’ll see you tomorrow night at six. You’ll probably be reading this tomorrow, so tonight. Six. 1436 Shoreline Rd. If you can’t make it, let me know. Fuck. You don’t have a ride. Change of plans. I’ll be here at six. If you don’t want to come, let me know before then.

Axton stared at his rambling text. None of that was necessary. He hit send nonetheless and then laughed at himself. It had been like five minutes since he decided he wanted to fuck Adan and he was already a mess. Goddamn. The entire situation was just dumb as hell. He had no plans to stop.