Robin pushed her bangs off her face. “It’s ready.”
The museum basement was transformed. The floor had been cleaned, the cracks and nicks smoothed out. Robin and Amalia had drawn the array using silver alchemic paint, and the hundreds of crisscrossing lines and runes were dizzying to look at. Two large circles sat inside the twenty-five-foot outer ring—one for Ezra to stand in, and one into which Eterran would be summoned.
I hadn’t gotten to help at all. Elisabetta had only released me from her care yesterday, a week after Justin and I had checked out this spot.
“Ready?” I repeated, glancing between them, not quite daring to believe. “As in, we can start the ritual right now?”
“Uh, technically yes,” Robin replied, “but I don’t think we should attempt the ritual in broad daylight.”
“We should wait for tonight,” Aaron agreed, crossing his arms. “After midnight, at least. And I want Kai here too, just in case.”
Just in casecould mean anything, but I was afraid I knew exactly which worst-case scenario he was thinking of—the one where Ezra didn’t make it out alive.
My stomach turned over.
A shrill ring erupted, and Aaron dug into his pocket. He pulled his phone out and lifted it to his face. “Hello? Oh, hey Girard.” He listened for a moment. “Okay, yeah, I figured ice artifacts would be difficult to find… No, the teams I sent out haven’t found any vampires. All the usual nest spots are empty. What about frost-bombs? Has Katherine had any luck making one?”
Still talking, he moved toward the far end of the room. I watched him go, trying not to worry about the guild preparations. Before we faced the cult, we needed to save Ezra—or kill him trying.
My stomach jumped again, and I pressed my hand against it. I’d never felt this nervous in my life—it was a sort of persistent, low-level panic that made me ill. I wanted the summoning ritual to be over with just as badly as I wanted to freeze time forever.
“How are you feeling?”
I blinked, bringing the room into focus. Robin was standing beside me, peering worriedly into my face.
“Your injuries… have they healed okay? Do you want Zylas to check them?”
That got my attention. “Zylas?”
“He’s very good at healing. I could probably convince him to fix you up if you need it.”
“Uh. That’s very considerate, but I’m just tired.” I shook my head, unable to imagine the savage demon volunteering to heal me. I’d trust Eterran with my health first. “How are you? According to the guys, you’ve been out here every night.”
She squeezed her hands together. “It’s the least I could do. Even without the amulet to trade, I would’ve helped Ezra. He saved Zylas’s life.”
“He did?”
“Yes.” Her eyes clouded over. “I almost lost him.”
The shadow of pain in her expression intrigued me. “Your demon means a lot to you, huh? What exactly is your relationship?”
She reeled backward as though I’d slapped her. “Wh-what? Our relationship?”
“Like… do you have a contract? Can you command him or what?”
She gulped a few times, her face beet red. “We have a contract, but I don’t command him. We work together.”
Work together. Despite my deal with Eterran for a mutual goal, the idea boggled my mind. “How did that come about?”
“We… we saved each other.” She lightly touched the infernus hanging around her neck, then tilted her head questioningly. “Are you concerned?”
“About what?”
“That I don’t command Zylas.”
I shrugged. “I won’t pretend he doesn’t frighten me, but Eterran frightens me too, and he’s not that bad… for a demon.”
“You sound like Amalia. That’s how she describes Zylas.” With a glance around, she started across the room. “Speaking of Zylas, I should find him. He wandered off again.”
I followed her toward the staircase, leaving Aaron to his phone call. “I didn’t realize he was out.”
She pushed the fire door open and started up the concrete steps. “He doesn’t like spending hours and hours in the infernus.”
“What’s being inside an infernus like?”
“I’m not sure, but the gist of it seems to be ‘boring.’” She opened the door to the main level. “Are you ready for tonight?”
As we ventured into the dusty halls of the small museum, I almost brushed off her question. But fear thrummed in my bones, and I needed to admit it.
“I’m terrified,” I whispered. “I’m terrified to lose him. It feels like we’re ushering him to his own execution.”
Robin stopped beside me, sympathy softening her face. “You aren’t ushering him. He decided this himself, didn’t he?”
My throat tightened.
“There’s a big difference between being forced to do something and choosing your own path.” She gazed down the hall, her eyes losing focus. “Choosing… means something.”
Her whispered words triggered a sudden memory: Zak leaning toward me, green eyes intent as he told me that I was as much a mythic as him. Choice is more powerful than fate.
Shivering, I shrugged off the memory—and realized Robin was still staring off into space. I waved a hand in front of her nose. “You all right there?”
She started. “Y-yes. Sorry. Just… just remembered something, that’s all.”
With a skeptical eyebrow arch, I glanced around. “So, do you wanna call for him, or what?”
“Hm? Oh, he already knows I’m looking for him. He’s got some reason for not coming to find me. Let’s check the second floor.”
I was still frowning confusedly as she headed back to the stairwell. We hurried up to the second floor, and Robin led the way down a hall with small offices branching off it, each one converted into a display about some facet of the city’s policing history.
We reached the end and turned into a wider corridor lined with glass cabinets. I peeked outside as we passed in front of a large arched window—and something dropped off the top of a cabinet.
Landing without a sound, Zylas shoved us both to the floor. I yelped as the demon’s hand pressed between my shoulder blades, mashing me into the musty carpet.
“Zh’ūltis,” the demon growled. “Walking into the sight of hunters? I taught you to be smarter, vayanin.”
Spitting the taste of dust from my mouth, I craned my head. Zylas had merely rammed me into the floor, but he’d landed directly on Robin. She was sprawled on her stomach, the demon on top of her as he hunkered below the window.
“Zylas, get off me,” she grumbled. “And what hunters?”
He raised his head enough to peer out the window. “They are watching.”
“Someone is spying on us?” I started to sit up and the demon shoved me back down. “Who?”
“Humans. Three. They try to hide among the others, but they stay in one spot and watch, watch, watch. Hunting. Planning. They will ambush us.”
Again, I raised my head, but more slowly this time. Zylas allowed it. With my nose practically resting on the sill, I peered into the street. People bustled about on the sidewalk, and it took me almost a minute to spot them: one man sitting at the bus stop, another leaning against a wall looking at his phone, and a third loitering near a boutique clothing store.
Shivers rippled over me. They had to be cultists. The Court must’ve noticed us using this building, and they were waiting for their chance to strike again.
Planning their ambush, as Zylas had said.
“What are we going to do?” I whispered. “Finding a new location and starting again now, when we’re so close…”
Robin squirmed out from under her demon and crouched between us. “You haven’t seen anyone watching us before this, have you?”
“No,” Zylas answered. “They came today only.”
She straightened her glasses. “The ritual is ready. It’ll all be over tonight. We should stick to the plan, and if they’re here when we return at midnight—”
“—I will hunt them,” he finished, his husky voice layered with eager ruthlessness, his crimson eyes glowing.
If those cultists thought “Servi” existed to protect them, tonight they would get a very rude awakening as to what this particular demon thought of their ideology.
* * *
“No, no, nooo!” I howled, waving my game controller as though that would somehow prevent my neon-green racecar from careening off the road and crashing into a building.
“Watch it!” Aaron laughed as he blocked my flailing controller with his elbow, hands glued to his own controller. “You’re going to—shit!”
I cackled as his cherry-red car smashed nose-first into a light post. Ezra’s and Kai’s cars zoomed past his crumpled wreck.
“Thanks a lot, Tori,” he grumbled.
“Go Ezra!” I cheered, steering my smashed car back onto the road, even though I had no chance in hell of catching up. “Show ’em who’s boss!”
“He always wins anyway,” Kai complained, his thumbs steady on his controller. “He doesn’t need a cheerleader.”
I turned, sticking my tongue out at the electramage, and Ezra made a pfff noise as I accidentally dug my elbow into his ribs. “Whoops! Sorry.”
The sofa was more cramped than usual. We normally spread ourselves across all available furniture for game night, but somehow, we’d all ended up crammed on the sofa together. I was squashed between Ezra and Aaron, and I didn’t mind one bit.
Aaron and I raced our steaming wrecks, half a lap behind Ezra and Kai as they battled for first place. Ezra won by a car length, and Aaron beat me easily. Oh well.
“Why do I always lose at my own games?” Aaron complained. “When you’re undemonized, we’ll see who wins all the time.”
“Will he lose his enhanced reflexes?” Kai mused. “And his increased strength? Or are those permanent changes?”
“Who knows?” Ezra glanced at them, his expression grave. “The real question is whether I’ll lose my demonic telepathy that allows me to hear all your thoughts.”
The three of us stared at him uncertainly.
He cracked a grin. “Just kidding.”
I blew out a breath, slightly panicked by the idea of Ezra having telepathy. I’d indulged in way too many naughty daydreams for that to be anything but an embarrassing nightmare.
He lifted his controller. “One more round?”
Aaron glanced at the clock beneath the television. “Let’s call it a night. We only have a couple more hours.”
“And Aaron and I have a job to do,” Kai added, pushing to his feet.
“Yeah.” Standing, Aaron stretched his arms over his head. “Let’s go, Kai.”
“Huh? A job?” I followed him and Kai toward the back door. “What job?”
Ezra followed us, stopping in the kitchen doorway, his expression the same blend of confusion and surprise I felt.
“Robin’s demon spotted those guys scoping out the museum,” Aaron explained. “We’re going to sweep the entire neighborhood to ensure it’s safe to go ahead with the ritual.”
“Oh.” I hesitated as the two mages pulled on their shoes. “Do you need any help?”
“Nope. You stay here with Ezra.” Aaron grabbed his keys off the counter. “Make good use of the time while we’re gone.”
Good use? Huh?
Kai followed him out, saying over his shoulder, “We’ll be back in an hour and a half.”
I caught the door as it swung shut and hopped out onto the back step, cold from the concrete seeping through my socked feet. “Guys, is it really safe to—”
They stood a few feet away as though they’d known I’d rush out after them. The laughter of our game from a few minutes ago had faded, replaced by quiet worry and banked grief.
I drew up short, staring at them.
“We’ll handle it, Tori,” Kai murmured. “Go back to Ezra and don’t worry about anything until we’re home.”
“But…”
“We have six years of great memories with Ezra.” Aaron’s voice was soft, gentle, sad. “You don’t. Use this time for you two.”
Pain slashed my chest. “Ezra isn’t going to…”
He isn’t going to die tonight.
But he might. And we all knew it.
“Get in there, Tori,” Kai ordered kindly. “I’ll text you when we’re on our way back.”
I nodded weakly, and they continued across the yard and through the gate. Vehicle doors opened and closed, then the engine started. As the SUV reversed out of the driveway, headlights flickering through the fence, I walked back inside.
Ezra was still leaning in the kitchen doorway, shadows draped across his face.
I trembled where I stood, terror and grief and hope and denial and simmering panic battling inside me—the emotions I’d been holding back all evening. I’d tried so hard to deny them, to keep this day positive, but now I couldn’t dam the flood.
Ezra opened his arms in invitation.
I sprinted the length of the kitchen. He caught me, sweeping me against his chest, crushing me to him. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, squeezing with all my strength.
A hundred embraces flashed through my mind, just like this one yet not like it at all. A hundred hugs filled with warmth, calm, safety, friendship, laughter, tears, and love.
The memory of our first hug, that awkward question I’d posed in Justin’s apartment hallway, ballooned inside me. A week after my first shift at the Crow and Hammer, the night Aaron had been attacked while walking me home. Last May. Nine months ago.
Exactlynine months, I realized suddenly. Aaron had been attacked on May 19—a date I’d never forget—and today was February 19.
Was nine months all I’d get with Ezra? Three-quarters of a year? A summer, a fall, a cold winter of stress and worry… but no spring to thaw the ice and call back the sun?
A sob shook me, though I quickly stifled it.
Ezra’s arms tightened, then relaxed. I tilted my head back, fighting the tears. Our eyes met, and there was sadness in his stare—but there was strength and steel too.
Taking my hand, he led me into the living room and guided me to the sofa before walking away. His footsteps padded up the stairs. The clack of a door opening, then closing. Returning footfalls.
He reappeared, carrying his acoustic guitar, and sat beside me. Settling the guitar on his lap, he plucked each string and adjusted the tuning pegs, then set his left hand against the frets.
With a sweep of his fingers, sound cascaded from the guitar. An unfamiliar melody emerged, the twanging notes soft and mournful. They danced a slow spiral, falling and falling, somehow growing even sadder until tears were streaking my face. The music slowed until he was plucking single notes, soft, fading, dying. I hugged myself, scarcely holding it together.
His left hand shifted across the frets, and his thumb brushed a new note. His fingers moved again, and the anguished melody began to rise instead of fall. It built, and somehow it was the sound of hope. It was the sound of a calling future, of a brighter day. The sound of renewal and rebirth.
The song swelled into a bright crescendo that rang with expectation before fading into silence.
He waited a long moment, then plucked out a simple scale. “I learned that song when I was a kid—I was twelve, I think. Whenever it all seemed like too much and I wanted to give up, I would play it over and over.”
I twisted my hands together so hard it hurt.
“My whole life, I’ve been pushed by other people.” He strummed a chord, then another. “Every big change I’ve experienced was because of someone else. My parents, the Court, Lexie, Eterran, then Aaron and Kai. And finally… you.”
“I…” My voice warbled. “I didn’t mean to—”
“It wasn’t a bad kind of push, Tori,” he murmured. “You helped me realize how passive I’d become… how I’d stopped deciding anything. I’d stopped wanting anything, and I was just waiting for the end. I told myself I was just living in the moment, but I wasn’t really living anymore.”
He ran his hand along the neck of his guitar. “I really enjoy live music… concerts and music festivals. Being a demon mage doesn’t stop me from attending concerts. There’s no reason I couldn’t, but I never even told Aaron and Kai it was something I’d like to do. I just… forgot it was okay to want things.”
His eyes, soft and warm, rose to mine. “Then I met you.”
My throat closed and I couldn’t quite breathe.
“I don’t want to die, but maybe I will. But I can do this because I decided. I’m not slipping into madness or waiting for Darius to put me down like a sick dog. This is my choice. This is what I want—a chance at a real life. I’m afraid, but it’s a different fear than when it was all out of my control.”
“Ezra,” I choked.
Quiet sadness touched his smile. “I can’t say I have no regrets, but no matter what happens, I’ll never regret a single moment with you.”
I pushed his guitar off his lap, grabbed his face in both hands, and kissed him. I kissed him so hard I was bruising my lips, and I didn’t care. The pain joined the burning agony in my chest.
“You’re going to survive,” I gasped against his mouth. “You’re going to be fine.”
“Better than fine.” He sank his hands into my hair. “I’m going to be myself for the first time in ten years.”
I climbed onto his lap, our mouths locked together. Desperate. Urgent. His arms banded around me, one hand gripping my hair. I kissed him harder, deeper.
How could I lose him now? How could I lose this wonderful, terrible, agonizing, beautiful thing between us when it’d barely begun?
My fingers raked over his shoulders, then I reached down and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. I needed more. I needed everything. I needed all of him now, before it was too—
“Tori,” he whispered.
I clutched his shirt, limbs quivering faintly.
“I want this to be just us. The two of us.” He stroked the back of my neck. “I’m too tangled up with Eterran, and…”
I raised my head.
His hand moved to my cheek, brushing away a streak of tears. “I want to be with you as myself, and until he’s gone, I won’t know who I really am. I haven’t known since I became a demon mage.”
“But…” My voice was hoarse, almost soundless. “If we wait and you… you don’t…”
“I’ll just have to survive tonight. I want to discover myself… and I want to do it with you.”
I nodded even as my heart tore itself apart. He wanted to love me as himself, not as a demon mage with another being interwoven through his mind and sharing his body. If that meant we would lose our last chance to share this kind of intimacy, I would respect his decision.
But he would survive. He would. He had to.
We lay together on the sofa, him stretched out on his back and me lying across him, our legs tangled. He stroked my neck and spine, and I touched his face, kissing him over and over. We held each other, waiting. Wanting the time to come. Wanting it to never arrive.
The back door clicked. Footsteps. A pause.
“That works better without clothes,” Kai observed dryly.
“Mind your own business,” I muttered, eyes closed and cheek resting on Ezra’s chest. “How did it go?”
“Good. No sign of those cultists or anything else suspicious.”
Ezra tensed under me, then sat up, lifting me with him. He drew me to my feet, and we faced Aaron and Kai. Terse determination had replaced their earlier grief.
The wait was over. It was time for battle now. I didn’t know who or what we would fight, or if there was an enemy to fight aside from the magic that bound Ezra and Eterran together, but we would fight it with everything we had.
Ezra pushed his shoulders back, and with that steady, soothing calm that had amazed me from our first meeting, he looked across the three of us.
“I’m ready.” He quirked an eyebrow. “Let’s summon a demon.”