Page 1 of Daddy Marc's Gem (Club Sensation #2)
Marc downed the last of his espresso, determined to make it his final dose of caffeine for the afternoon. He had no Sunday plans. The sky was clear, and the temperature mild. A light breeze made the late summer leaves rustle, and the day couldn’t be more serene. Perhaps after sharing brunch with Zane, he’d simply go home and take a nap in the lounge chair on his patio.
Alone.
His shoulders slumped. Being lonely was a bitch.
Marc glanced up to see Zane regarding him with his head cocked and a slight wrinkle on his brow.
“You’ve been unusually morose today.” Zane’s tone didn’t strike Marc as a complaint, but more as a subtle way of sharing concern. “I’m not used to seeing you like this. Did something happen?”
He and Zane went back several years, and Zane was the one person he talked to about anything and everything. As Marc was a therapist and hadn’t been in a serious relationship for as long as he could remember, his sounding board options were limited. But lately, he’d felt as if all he did was bemoan the fact that he couldn’t find the perfect boy to settle down with.
Perhaps it was time to move on and let go of that part of his life. Being vanilla wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to a person.
Marc chuckled, trying to keep this rare moment of social interaction from descending into a big pity party. “Oh, you know. The usual.” He reached for his cup, then remembered it was empty. Not sure what to do with his hands, he leaned back in the cushy patio chair of the outdoor café. “But it’s a gorgeous summer day, so I’m determined to enjoy it.”
Zane took a beat then nodded. “You know, I wouldn’t be offended if you decided to try out other clubs. There’s that new place in Providence. I’ve heard good things.”
This wasn’t the first time Zane had brought up other avenues to finding a boy. Not that Marc hadn’t considered other options, particularly since he wasn’t a sugar daddy, nor was he interested in age play. He’d come to realize he was a Daddy Dom who needed a total power exchange with a willing boy who was searching for someone to build a life with.
And he had tried to find that perfect someone. There was the Christmas Masquerade Ball at Club Sensation, which had introduced him to a variety of boys coming in from all over. The event had been sponsored by a kink app, which he’d also given a try.
But zilch. Nothing. Oh sure, a few online scenes, but zero potential for an ongoing situation. It seemed as if role-playing was all that anyone was interested in anymore. That was fine for those who were into that. But sadly, he wasn’t.
Even though Daddies seemed to be all the rage, here he was—alone and becoming more desperate than he cared for. He’d counseled enough Doms over the years that they shouldn’t settle for a sub if the kinks weren’t aligned, and he believed in his own advice. But would going vanilla be the same thing? Maybe he could simply find a man who wanted a more dominant partner and leave it at that. Daddy was just a title, anyway.
Isn’t it?
“Marc? Did you hear what I said?”
Marc cleared his throat as he shifted in the chair. “Uh, yes. And I thought about it.” He gave a one-shouldered shrug. “I’m considering…” He shifted again. “Well, lowering my expectations.”
Zane frowned. “I’m confused. You’ve always been a huge proponent of waiting for the right one, not trying to force something if it isn’t there.”
Marc nodded. “Absolutely. That’s just it. I don’t want to force anything. And if I can’t find a boy who’s looking for the same thing I am, I need to consider whether limiting myself to the kink world is practical.”
“That seems contradictory.” Zane cocked his head. “If you don’t find a man who is compatible with who you are, and if who you are is a Daddy, won’t that be the same thing as forcing yourself to be someone you’re not?”
Marc lowered his head. Zane was probably right. But damn . He was forty-two years old and had no one. He had only had a boy he was compatible with for a few years in his twenties, then briefly again in his early thirties. Once Cary had moved out of the country for his career, Marc followed suit and dove headfirst into his own practice.
And Zane has not only one, but two boys .
The errant thought wasn’t kind, and he immediately felt guilty for thinking such a thing. Zane deserved all the happiness in the world, was a good man—a pillar in the Boston kink community. At the same time, didn’t he also deserve happiness?
Marc leaned forward. “I’m lonely, Zane. Achingly, overwhelmingly lonely. I never anticipated I would reach middle age and have no one. And not that I need to tell you this but being a Dom—a Daddy —means that the emptiness is even more pronounced.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Sure, I get a certain measure of satisfaction in counseling my patients. But you know as well as I do that it’s not the same as having someone to care for, to hold at night…” He swallowed past a lump in his throat. “To love.”
Zane nodded, his brow furrowed. “I’m sorry, Marc. And I do know what you mean. I guess you have to ask yourself what’s more important to you: finding a boy who matches your kinks or finding someone you love and can build a life with—even if they’re vanilla.”
“Exactly.” The corner of Marc’s mouth tugged into a half-hearted smile. “That’s what I’ve been struggling with.” He lowered his head, fiddling with his empty cup. A change of subject was in order. “Have you heard from Tate at all?”
Zane had reached out to the devastated young man after his Daddy was killed in a police shootout. Tate’s Daddy, Cam, had been the sub serial killer terrorizing Boston for over a year, but the poor kid hadn’t known anything about Cam’s double life. Regardless, the media had been vicious when it came to accusing him of possible involvement, and the BPD hadn’t been too far behind.
“I have.” Zane picked at the remains of his croissant. “He’s actually…” Zane drew his eyebrows together. “I’m not sure if ‘met someone’ is the right way to put it. But he at least has someone who’s on his side.”
Marc had offered his services to Tate as a counselor, devastated on his behalf. A few kink community members had come together to support the young man, and he and Zane had been among them. Of course, there were those who were staunchly against Tate, convinced that he was as evil as Cam had been. However, Tate declined his invitation after meeting with a counselor who freaked him out during a session.
“Are you confident that this person Tate’s hanging around with isn’t trying to use him, or is even trustworthy?”
Zane sighed. “Believe it or not, the guy’s a cop. He was also a high school buddy of Cam’s. I guess that’s why they started interacting. Tate said he needed to talk to someone who would know what it was like not to have realized someone close to them was a killer.”
“Wow.” Marc couldn’t fathom how shocking such a revelation would be. “I can see how that might be helpful. I imagine there’s a lot of guilt coming into play right now. It would be a relief to speak with another person who’s feeling the same way.”
“Yeah?” Zane’s features clouded. “I can’t help but be worried, given how vulnerable Tate is right now. We’ve been doing daily check-ins.”
Marc smiled. “That’s wonderful. I’m glad to hear it.”
After chatting a bit more about less intense subjects, Zane’s cell vibrated on the round patio table. He glanced down then held up a finger.
“Excuse me, Marc. It’s Ryan.”
Zane rose then took the phone with him as he wandered out to the sidewalk. Marc observed how Zane’s attention had completely shifted to his boy—as well it should. The Club Sensation owner took his responsibilities seriously, wasn’t playing around. Which was the exact reason role-playing for a few hours here and there was no longer doing it for him. It only emphasized the lack of the real thing in his life.
Marc tore his gaze away. Even if he couldn’t hear what Zane and Ryan were discussing, it seemed as if it were an intimate moment that he shouldn’t be intruding on.
Zane returned but didn’t take a seat. “I apologize, Marc. I need to cut our visit short. Ryan accidentally spilled cranberry juice on one of the antique rugs. He’s so upset, he’s gotten Ty upset, and now Ryan’s even more upset. This isn’t something I can remedy over the phone.”
Marc rose as well, snatching the check before Zane could. “I’ve got this. You take care of those precious boys.”
After saying their goodbyes, Marc paid the bill then decided to take a stroll down the sidewalk of the historic and beautiful Beacon Hill neighborhood. He spotted the cute little antique shop he would sometimes patronize after meeting up with Zane.
Right as he was about to step inside, he paused, concluding it was the last place he wanted to be. As much as he loved antiquing, the small, dark space stuffed with all manner of collectibles and treasures seemed too depressing to him at the moment.
The day was beautiful. He should be outside enjoying the sun, maybe catching up on some reading. With new resolve, Marc turned in the other direction, making his way back to his parked car. Perhaps he’d hit up a yard sale or two, find something to add to his vintage clock or other collections.
Marc swallowed hard. Anything to distract himself from not having anyone he could spend the day with.