Page 40 of Daddies’ Holiday Toy (Kissmass Daddies #1)

JACK

The walls in here are the same shade of sickly beige they’ve been in every jail I’ve ever seen.

Not that I make a habit of visiting them often and definitely not to spend the night, but I’ve been in enough to know the cinder blocks are all the same with their unforgiving coldness.

Painted the kind of color that drains everything human out of you the longer you’re forced to stare at it.

Liam’s across the way in another holding cell, elbows on his knees as he sits on the bench, head hanging low between them.

Carson’s in the one beside him, pacing like a caged animal, muttering under his breath probably about how much he wants to kill us.

I can’t hear the words, but I don’t have to.

I know they’re about me, Liam, Reece, and Holly.

Christ.

This whole thing has turned into a giant mess.

I lean back against the metal bench until my back hits the wall, the cold seeping right through my shirt, and shut my eyes for a second.

My jaw throbs from where Carson landed that first hit at my apartment earlier.

My ribs ache from where he body slammed me against the glass before the cops showed up.

But it’s not the physical pain that’s gnawing at me.

It’s the fact that none of this had to happen in the first place, and only did so because sheer stupidity and lust clouded my judgement.

Do I regret sleeping with Holly?

Yes, and no.

It’s a complicated answer because the truth is, it’s not just sex anymore.

It hasn’t been for a long, long time.

There are feelings, real ones , tangled up in all of it, whether I want to admit that to myself or not.

And now…there’s a potential life in the mix.

A baby.

I let out a slow breath, opening my eyes again to stare at the chipped paint on the ceiling above me.

Was it stupid to start any of this?

Absolutely, no question.

We should’ve known better.

Should’ve been stronger in resisting her when she first offered up the proposition.

We should’ve shut it down the first time any of us almost crossed the line.

But would I take back a single second I’ve spent with her?

Not a chance in hell.

She’s sunshine in human form, infuriating sometimes, but also…real.

She’s the kind of person you don’t think exists anymore until you meet her, and the thought of her carrying a child, our child even if I don’t know for sure if it’s mine or not, does something to me.

It softens me in ways I didn’t think were possible anymore.

I can picture it clearly.

Her belly rounding out under one of those loose sweaters she likes, her cheeks a little fuller and rosy with that glow people always talk about.

I can see her holding a newborn, hair messy, eyes tired but bright with that fierce kind of love you can’t fake.

And I want it.

God help me, I want it .

I’d do anything.

The clang of a cell door further down jolts me out of it. A guard’s walking past, keys rattling at his belt.

Carson stops pacing to glare at him then at me. I meet his stare evenly until he mutters something and turns away.

Across from me, Liam shifts on the bench, elbows digging into his knees again while he runs his fingers through his hair for the seventh time since we arrived.

He’s been quiet since they brought us in, probably running through the same questions I am and asking himself if all of this was really worth it.

Eventually, footsteps approach again. This time, it’s the guard stopping in front of my cell.

“You’re being released,” he says, unlocking the door.

“What about them?” I ask, jerking my chin toward Liam and Carson.

“That one too.” The guard points to Liam. “Other one stays.”

Carson barks out a humorless laugh. “Figures. Fuck you both.”

The guard ignores him, swinging Liam’s cell open after I step out of mine.

I rub my wrists a few times, even though they didn’t bother with cuffs in here.

Liam falls into step beside me as we’re escorted to the front of the county jail, his eyes flicking toward Carson once as we pass by but not lingering.

We round the corner toward the release desk and stop short.

Reece is there, leaning on the counter like he owns the place, and beside him is Holly.

She looks small in the big, sterile waiting room, her coat wrapped tight around her, her hair tucked under her collar, pieces of it loose and framing her face.

The second her eyes find us, she’s moving.

She doesn’t give either of us a chance to hesitate before she’s throwing her arms around both our waists, holding on to us like she thinks we might disappear.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” she asks, voice muffled.

She’s actually shaking.

That tugs something deep in my chest, something I can’t shove down no matter how hard I try.

I wrap my arms around her without thinking, one hand splaying across her back, the other cupping the back of her head.

Beside me, Liam’s doing the same with one arm, trying not to crowd her too much.

“We’re fine,” I murmur, brushing my hand over her head. “We’re okay, sweetheart.”

She leans back enough to search my face, checking for damage that’s been done by her father.

Liam gets the same treatment soon after.

Behind us, Reece clears his throat.

“You’re both out on bond. Conditions are simple, stay away from Carson, and don’t do anything that’s gonna get you thrown back in here before your court date.”

I nod. Liam mutters something in agreement.

Holly’s still looking at us like she’s not convinced, but eventually she lets us step back so we can finish our paperwork.

When we finally walk out into the cold night air, she stays between us, one hand hooked into my arm, the other into Liam’s, keeping us tethered to her.

“Reece, you’re coming with us,” she tells him, giving him a look when his hand snakes into his front pocket to pull out his set of keys.

He shoots her a soft smile, though it holds a little bit of wariness. “I figured.”

The drive to her apartment in Reece’s car is quiet, except for the hum of the heater and the occasional sniff from her. She doesn’t cry but her eyes are glassy.

By the time we park out front of her building, she looks even more drained, sagging against the door.

Liam’s the first out of the car, coming around her side to open it up and catch her when she practically flops over.

He keeps her close when we head up to her floor, rubbing her back in soothing circles, murmuring soft words to her as the numbers above the elevator doors climb.

Inside her apartment, she sets her coat on the hook and just…stands there.

Almost like she’s not sure what to do with herself now that we’re all gathered here, back in the place where everything fell apart.

I can’t say I blame her.

She’s in limbo right now, caught between all of us, our choice to walk out her door that day, and the baby that’s been wedged between us all.

I step forward, tilt her chin up, and press a kiss to her lips.

Her shoulders ease a little at that.

“Stay the night. You can all leave in the morning but just…please stay. At least until I fall asleep.”

“Okay,” I tell her quietly. “Until you fall asleep. We’ll be back. We just need to get our own shit sorted first.”

She nods, and Liam leans in to kiss her cheek, Reece coming up behind him to peck her forehead, then we’re all moving with her back to her bedroom.

We get her undressed and settled under her covers, tucking her in and crowding around her just like we did when we all spent the night together.

Her smile is soft as she closes her eyes, a soft noise leaving her right before she drifts off to sleep.

The three of us stay with her for a long while after that, watching her as she dreams, none of us wanting to break the spell quite yet.

Finally, when Reece pushes up off the bed, Liam and I force ourselves to follow.

Once the front door clicks shut behind us, I glance at the other two.

“We need to talk,” I say.

Reece meets my eyes with a nod, Liam following suit.

Even if we all want to stave off the subject a little longer, we all know we can’t.

This isn’t over.

Not by a long shot.

The hallway outside Holly’s door feels colder than the street, ironically.

It takes everything in me not to turn back around and head upstairs again, back to the comfort of her apartment and to where I know she’s still sleeping tucked in her bed.

Reece jerks his chin toward his car as soon as we’re out on the curb, fishing his keys out once more. “My place.”

We ride together in silence.

By the time we get there, it’s almost midnight.

He kicks the door shut behind us and tosses his keys into the dish on the counter next to it. Liam makes a beeline for the fridge, pulling out a few beers, and tosses them to us.

I settle down on the couch with my own and crack it open, taking two healthy swigs of it.

Liam settles into the spot next to mine, drink unopened, while Reece takes the floor, crossing his legs together, facing us.

“So,” Reece says, a small sigh leaving him, “what the hell are we doing?”

Liam shoots him a look, eyebrow raised. “With what? Holly? The kid?”

“All of it, man.”

I run a hand over my face. “We don’t know who the father is, and if Carson’s meltdown tonight is any indication, things are only going to get uglier from here.”

Liam sets the beer down on the small end table next to the couch on his side.

“What are we supposed to do? It’s her choice whether she wants to get rid of it or not. If she ends up keeping it, that’ll make her issues with her dad even worse. Plus, you saw the kind of meltdown Maggie had.”

Reece exhales through his nose.

“Neither of you helped yourselves by fighting him. What the hell is wrong with you two? I wake up to a dozen calls from you, Liam, and then a frantic one from Holly, telling me you’re in fucking jail.”

“It wasn’t like we planned that. Carson swung first. We were trying to defend ourselves…and Holly,” I say.

He doesn’t look convinced, but instead of pushing it, he pops open his own beer and downs half of it in one go.

Finally, Liam looks at me.

“What do you want to do, Jack?”

It’s a fair question but also loaded.

I glance toward the window, the city lights casting fractured reflections on the glass.

“I don’t know yet. But I do know I’m not going to abandon her.”

Reece’s eyes narrow slightly. “You saying you want to step up? Be the dad, whether it’s yours or not?”

I meet his gaze.

“I’m saying I don’t want her going through this alone. She didn’t get here by herself, remember? We were all part of it.”

“That’s not the same thing,” Reece mutters. I can tell he’s already tired of this conversation, but I’m refusing to let him walk away from it.

“Maybe not,” I agree, but I keep my eyes locked on him so he knows I’m not just rolling over.

“But it also doesn’t change the fact that she’s ours.

She’s not just…some girl we had fun with, Reece.

You can’t tell me if that baby is yours you wouldn’t want to be in its life.

You’re not a deadbeat. That’s not the kind of man you are. ”

His beer makes a soft thunk on the carpet as he sets it down, but his other hand stays curled loosely around the neck of the bottle like he’s not ready to let it go completely.

His shoulders tense up, practically near his ears.

“I can’t be a dad again, man. I’ve got three kids…I’m stretched thin as it is. Plus, how will that be fair to them? They’re in another state while I’m over here having a new family. That doesn’t seem right.”

“I’m not asking you to raise the kid,” I tell him evenly. “But you don’t have to disappear, either.”

Before Reece can even form a reply, Liam’s voice cuts in.

“What about Carson? You think he’s just going to sit back if we step up? He’s going to make her life hell. And ours.”

“Then we deal with him.” I shrug, because to me it’s not even a question. “The alternative is letting him scare her into doing whatever he wants. I’m not letting that happen. Neither should either of you. He’s been doing this her entire life. It’s enough.”

The room goes quiet again.

The hum of the fridge fills the gap, and through the cracked kitchen window I can hear the faint rumble of a car passing on the street outside.

I can tell they’re both turning it over.

The way Reece stares at a spot on the floor, brow furrowed, like the answer might be written there.

The way Liam’s thumb taps against his knee, in a steady, restless rhythm.

They’re weighing the cost, same as me.

Finally, Liam looks up at me.

“So you’re in? With her, I mean.”

I don’t hesitate. “I’m in.”

He studies me for a second longer, like he’s looking for any sign of uncertainty, then he nods. “Okay. Me too.”

Reece exhales, looking away.

“I’ll…figure something out. I can’t promise more than that right now.”

It’s not much, but it’s something.

A distant siren adds to the sounds of the city sounds bleeding in through the window, adding an additional feeling of urgency.

The tension between us all is still there.

It’s not going anywhere tonight, but there’s something else now, too, among it: a quiet agreement, fragile but real.

We’re not done figuring this out.

Not even close.

But for the first time since this whole thing blew up, it feels like maybe, just maybe, we’re all facing the same direction.