Page 7 of Curve Ball (The San Jose Coyotes #2)

GAEL

M y phone alarm chimes and I wake up, the room still dark and quiet.

The spot in the bed beside me is empty, like always.

A stark reminder of the void Adriana has left behind.

Two weeks have passed since that night, and every fucking day has felt like a fucking eternity.

I gave her space, like she seemed to want, but it’s killing me.

I miss her like hell, and it’s getting harder and harder to keep my distance.

Do I stalk her social media like a crazy person?

Well, yeah. But I don’t engage with anything. I’m still not following her, and I don’t comment or send her messages. Now that I think about it, it’s probably creepy behavior, but whatever.

I drag myself out of bed and head to the kitchen, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

The apartment is too quiet, too empty. Any trace of Natalia has been gone for a while now, but now all I can see when I look at the vast space are images of that night.

Adriana and I fumbled to remove our shoes, getting tangled up in each other’s arms. I swear I can still smell her perfume lingering in the air, a tormenting reminder of what I had and let go.

I take a sip of my coffee, the bitter taste grounding me, and I make my way to the living room.

This is a new level of hell I’m living in.

Unable to talk myself out of it any longer, I decide to send her a simple message, something that won’t pressure her but will let her know I’m thinking about her.

Gael

Morning, Mama. My bed doesn’t smell like you anymore, and it’s driving me crazy.

Subtle.

I hit send and set my phone down, hoping she’ll respond but not holding my breath.

I know she needs space, and I’m trying to respect that, but it’s fucking hard.

I take a deep breath and head to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

I have a game today, an away game in So Cal, and I need to focus on that.

But my mind is already drifting back to Adriana, to the way she felt in my arms, to the sound of her laugh.

Get your head in the game, Gael.

I wish I fucking could.

The drive to the airport is a blur, and once we are on the short flight, I barely speak to anyone.

My best friend is living his best life right now.

He’s got his girl, who’s now his wife, and I’m happy for him, but a part of me is feeling something else.

Jealousy? I didn’t want to marry Natalia, but now when I close my eyes at night, all I can envision is Adriana with me.

She’s mine. And it’s never her as my girlfriend. Now, she’s always my wife in my dreams.

Fucking wild.

When we get to the stadium, I go through the motions of warming up, stretching, and taking practice swings, but my heart isn’t in it.

My mind goes back to that singular moment where our eyes stayed connected in the mirror while I told her how beautiful she was.

The look of shock in her eyes, like she had never been told that in her life.

I want the names of the putos who treated her like she wasn’t.

I’m sure Kai, Jackson, and Andres would give me a hand in beating the shit out of them.

Adriana made me feel like I was the only man in the world who had ever appreciated her and while I love that, I also hate it so fucking much.

She should be told every single day how beautiful she is.

It was more than just sex for me; it was a connection.

I’d give anything to have it again.

To have her again.

The game starts, and I try to focus on the field, on the ball, and on the play. But it’s hard to concentrate when all I can think about is her. This is not going to make the coach and team happy.

Focus, Gael.

I’m behind Kai in the right field, and as I stand there, watching the game unfold, I can’t help but feel detached.

My body is here, but my mind is a million miles away.

Well, not a million. San Jose isn’t that far away from Anaheim.

I keep thinking about the text I sent her, wondering if she’ll respond, if she’s thinking about me too.

The innings pass by in a haze, and before I know it, the game is over.

We won, but I barely remember how. Did I even go up to bat?

I honestly couldn’t tell you. I’m too lost in my own head, too consumed by the memory of Adriana.

I head to the locker room, shower, and change, still hoping for a response from her.

But my phone is silent, and my heart sinks a little more.

I decide to text her again, just a little something to let her know I’m thinking about her. Probably not the smartest choice I could make.

Gael

Please talk to me, Adri. I’m dying here. You weren’t just some one-night stand to me.

I hit send and pack up my stuff, heading out to the shuttle that’s waiting for us.

The flight back to San Jose is short and while everyone is enjoying themselves, I feel lonely.

The feeling of emptiness that’s settled over me is crushing me like a weight.

Kai and I take an Uber together and he knows something’s up.

“Dude, just talk to me.” I just stare out the window, watching the city pass us by.

“Nah, I’m not gonna let my negative ass ruin you going home to your wife.” I turn to look at him, and he looks distressed.

“You’re my best friend, G. Is it Natalia and Santino? I’ll fuck him up for you; just give me the okay. When we play them, I throw the ball at his knee on accident. Problem solved.” He air quotes the word accident, and it makes me crack a smile.

“I don’t deserve you, bro.”

“Shut the fuck up, Gael.” The car stops in front of our apartment complex and we get out, grab our bags from the trunk and head inside. We make it to the third floor in silence before Kai speaks again. “Should I be worried, G? Because no fucking lie, I’m kinda worried about you.”

Shit.

I don’t want the one person in my life other than my family to worry about me.

“Seriously, I’m good. ” I force a smile and Kai takes a moment to really look at me, as if to gauge if it’s genuine. His shoulders drop and he smirks .

“Alright. Well, you know you can come over anytime. Isla would probably love to see you again.”

I tilt my head and give him a look.

“Too soon?” He chuckles.

“Yeah, too soon.” I saw way more of his wife than I needed to that night. She’s a sweet girl, though, and she’s good for him.

I’m happy for them.

We get out on our floor and leave him at his apartment door, making my way down the hall to mine.

Once inside, behind the closed door, I check my phone again, but there’s still no response from Adriana.

I try not to let it get to me and try to focus on the positive.

She’s thinking, she’s processing, and that’s okay.

I just wish I knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling.

I wish I could take away the pain and the confusion and replace it with something better.

Pulling the fridge open, inside is a bunch of containers with a note.

“I’m proud of you, Mijo. Some food for the week. –Mom.”

I grab the container with the carne con chile and sit down at the island, scrolling through my social media aimlessly. I see posts from friends and from teammates, but nothing from Adriana. It’s like she’s disappeared, and it hurts more than I care to admit.

I decide to text her one more time before I call it a night.

Gael

Goodnight, Mama. Just know I’m gonna be dreaming of you tonight .

I hit send and set my phone down, taking a deep breath. I want her so fucking much. I know I need to give her space, but it’s killing me. I just want to hold her, to tell her how I feel, and to make her understand I think what we have could be something special.

The sheets are cold and empty when I finally climb into bed.

I can still smell her perfume on my pillow, and it brings a small smile to my face.

I close my eyes, trying to imagine her here with me, her body pressed against mine, her breath on my neck.

It’s a torturously sweet memory, one that both soothes and hurts me in every way imaginable.

The next week passes and I go through the motions of my daily life, but I’m distracted and distant, and it’s taking a toll on me.

I can’t focus on my workouts, on my practice, or on anything.

All I can think about is Adriana, about the way she made me feel, about the way she looked at me.

I’m getting ready to head to the restaurant to see my mom and tías, hoping that maybe they can knock some sense into me.

You know I’m desperate when I’m willingly seeking out being verbally chastised by my mother.

It’s a new low that I’ve hit.

Gael

Don’t shut me out, Adri.

Gael

I know I probably seem like a stage five clinger, but I just have a feeling about you.

I hit send and head out, trying to lose myself in the drive, and once I get to the restaurant, I’m given a heavy dose of my mother and her sisters.

“ Mijo , maybe take the hint. Or have you considered maybe she has a boyfriend…?”

I try to block out that thought because I would really hate to beat the shit out of some guy to prove I’m the better option.

Or come to the realization that I was someone she cheated with. But I seriously don’t think that’s the case.

“Ma, I really don’t think that’s it. I think maybe I came on too strong.

I said some things and maybe it was one of those…

ya know, thoughts I should have kept to myself.

” I let out a sigh and reach up to scratch the back of my head.

My hair is getting too long and I need to cut it soon.

“You know how I am when I talk. Sometimes the words just come out without a filter.”

“What did you say, mijo ? Te patearé el trasero si fuiste grosero con ella. Te crié mejor que eso.”

I need to learn to explain things better. I just made myself sound like a complete asshole.

“Nah, Ma. I was nice. Lo juro por Dios. I told her how beautiful she was and… uh… things like that.” I give her the look that begs her to not make me continue. “I don’t think anyone ever told her things like that. So I think I scared her off.”

“Well,” she purses her lips and looks over at her sister and they just shrug.

Yeah.

I know I’m fucked.

I fucked up and lost her.

“Try to move on. You need to keep your head on straight for the team. Don’t ruin your life over some woman who doesn’t want to see how amazing you are.”

Easier said than done, Ma.

The days turn into another week, and still no response from Adriana. I know she hasn’t blocked my number because it still shows she’s reading them. I’m losing hope, wondering if she’s ever going to reach out to talk to me, to let me in. But I can’t give up.

I won’t.

I’m stubborn as shit and won’t give up on something that I think is worth fighting for. Or until she point-blank tells me to leave her alone.

Which she hasn’t done.

So a small part of me is holding onto that hope that she doesn’t completely want to cut me out.

I decide to send her another text, something a little more personal, a little more raw.

Gael

Do you remember the night we met? At Continental? The way your eyes sparkled in the low light, the way your lips curved into a smile when I made you laugh? Your smile lives rent-free in my head, Adri. Look, if I came on too strong with anything, just tell me and I can dial it back.

Gael

Just give this a chance.

I hit send and wait, hoping, praying for a response. Nothing and my heart sinks a little more.

Another two weeks pass, and I’m a mess. I’m distracted and distant, and it’s affecting my game. My coach notices my teammates’ notice, and I know I need to get my shit together. But how can I when the woman I care about is slipping away?

I decide to take a chance, to lay it all on the line.

Gael

Adri, I know I’m probably driving you crazy with these texts, but I can’t help it. Please, just let me know you’re okay.

This is it. The final straw.

If she doesn’t respond, I’ll know it’s truly over and I need to move on. And that thought terrifies me more than anything else. I hit send and hold my breath, hoping, praying for a response.

I don’t get one.

The silence is deafening, and it hurts like a bitch.

If there’s nothing tomorrow, I’ll delete her number and move on.

I toss and turn in bed, my mind racing with thoughts of Adriana, of us, of what could have been. I’m thinking that it’s me that’s the problem. Maybe I’m just not worthy of love.

Maybe I’m just supposed to be alone.

Me and baseball against the world.

The next morning, I wake up to the sound of my alarm, feeling more exhausted than when I went to bed. I check my phone, hoping against hope that she might have responded in the middle of the night, but there’s nothing.

I promised myself I would do this.

Scrolling in my contacts, I hover over the delete button and a tear rolls down my cheek as I hit the red button.

Done.

My chest aches with something terrible, but life has to move on, right?