Page 47 of Curses & Keys (Curses & Gods #1)

PHAEDRA

T he moment we step out of the portal, I see Arlie, the Fae healer, bending over Jamison, and I rush over. I’d given them her contact info so she could check on Hawthorne.

“Did something happen?”

She flashes a serene smile but keeps her eyes on her patient. “The tonic will work rapidly, and you’ll be as good as new in a few hours.”

Jamison dips his chin but doesn’t return her smile. “Thank you. We appreciate your assistance.” His steel-blue eyes glance past her to Gatlin, who immediately ushers her to a portal.

Mathias puts his hands on my shoulders and turns me toward the bed. “Look who’s awake.”

The second I see Hawthorne’s sea-green eyes staring back at me, my knees buckle. Mathias immediately picks me up and places me on the bed.

In wonder, I cup Hawthorne’s strong jaw and lean over to kiss him, then stop myself. What if he doesn’t want me to kiss him? Damn. Awkward. I stare down at him, tears filling my eyes and clogging my throat. “Welcome back.”

The guilt I’ve been carrying all week eases, but instead of feeling better, I’m on the verge of tears. “How do you feel? Are you able to walk?” Easing off the bed, I take a step back. I don’t want him to see me cry.

He stands and takes my hand. “I’m fantastic. Arlie said the tonic, all the nature therapy, and our long conversations helped tremendously.” He bends down and places his forehead against mine. “Thank you.”

My eyes lock with his, then fall to his mouth. I bite my lip instead of doing the one thing I want. Forcing a chuckle, I step back. “I…uh…need a shower. The site was full of dirt and heat. Mathias can show you what we found.”

Without looking back, I pivot and head straight to my bathroom and turn on the shower.

Stripping, I barely get in and under the hot spray before the sobs spill out.

Gut-wrenching and loud, my body shakes with the force of them.

I press my forehead against the cool tile and let it all pour out.

All week I prayed for him to open his eyes.

Every day nothing happened, and my anxiety and guilt built and built until I felt as tight as an overblown balloon.

What is wrong with me? I’m ecstatic, damn it. Still, the tears fall.

Lost to the world, I don’t hear the shower door opening.

Suddenly, he’s there, pulling me into his arms and holding me tightly.

I press my face against his chest and wrap my arms around him until not a sliver of light remains between us.

Hot water cascades over the two of us, and the air fills with steam. I don’t want to ever let him go.

“I’m here,” he murmurs, stroking his hand down my back. “I heard every word you said. Your voice was soothing, reminding me of the world beyond. The need to return. To you. To see those beautiful bright blue eyes sparkle up at me. To taste the lips you kept pressing against mine.”

His words break through my sobs, and I lift my head to stare up at him. “You didn’t mind?”

He smiles crookedly. “I did but only because I couldn’t kiss you back.” His head dips, lips brushing against mine as if asking for permission.

In answer, I stretch up on my toes and capture his lips with mine. Gone are the soft, sweet kisses I gave him when he was lying so still, his eyes hidden from me, the occasional beat of his heart the only sound between us. This kiss is full of heat and need and a little bit of fear. Please be real.

I slide my hands up his chest and realize he’s fully dressed. Breaking the kiss, I slide my hands to the first button, but again, I stop. I’m so used to undressing and dressing him. When I look up to see if it’s okay, his normally bright green eyes are dark with desire and disbelief.

His hand covers mine. “Why?” His question is simple, but the answer not so much.

“I need to know you’re real. All week I dreamed of you, and every morning I woke in despair. The guilt almost broke me. I need to know you’re here with me, full of life and magic, not a figment of my dreams,” I say, baring myself to him.

With a nod, he releases my hand. “I’m real, and I’m here with you.” He chuckles. “I’m also impatient.” In a flash of magic, his clothes disappear, and he hauls me into his arms. “Goddess, you feel so damn good.” His lips crash down on mine, destroying every thought in my head.

I lose myself in the feel of his arms wrapped around me, his lips kissing mine, and his magic crackling around us, showing me how real he is.

When I raise my head to catch a breath, his lips travel down my neck, licking and sucking to my breasts, lavishing them with attention.

I moan at the feel of his hot mouth on me, his breath tickling the surface of my body.

His tongue follows his lips across my body.

“I felt your sweet kisses on my lips and chest, your hands as they bathed and teased me, and I couldn’t move. Couldn’t reciprocate,” he growls against my skin. “All I wanted was to pull you into my lap and slide my hands and mouth over every inch of you.”

My hands glide across familiar dips and valleys, delighting in the sound of his ragged breaths. Wanting to know all of him, I slide my hand down and encircle him, lightly stroking the hard ridges. Strong thighs tighten in response.

“I was locked in a frozen land, unable to see or touch you, and yet, I always knew when it was night. Your silky legs would slide between mine as your arms held me tight and your mouth whispered sweet promises. Pure fucking torture. All of it.”

He picks me up, and I automatically wrap my legs around him. His fingers graze the bundle of nerves at my core, then slide into the wetness below. “All I dreamed about was waking up and sliding into you.”

I was ready for him the moment he stepped into the shower. “Show me.”

With a wicked grin, he pushes forward, sliding into me inch by inch as if he is savoring every second. Once he’s in, he stops and stares down at me with a serious expression on his face.

“I would do it all again,” he tells me, his voice tight with emotion. “Just to repeat this moment.”

My breath hitches at his words, and I brush his mahogany hair back from his face. Steam rises around us while my body quivers with need. “I never want to see you like that again. I couldn’t bear it.” The anguish in my voice reveals the truth I’ve been trying to hide, refusing to acknowledge.

It doesn’t matter. The gleam in his eyes tells me he hears my unspoken words. His body begins to slide in and out, and the rightness of it is almost too much. I close my eyes, not wanting him to see, but he lifts my chin.

“Open your eyes, Phaedra,” he orders, slowing to a stop until I comply. “That’s it. Do you think you’re the only one? Look at me.” His green eyes blaze with emotion as they stare down at me. “I want you to see what you do to me.”

His hips slowly pick up speed, and pink spreads across his cheeks. All those minutes I wished he would open his eyes. I never expected this… us… to be this…connected. Maybe he did, though. It’s in the gleam of satisfaction and steadiness of his gaze. Sensations rocket through my body, and I gasp.

His fingers slip between us, and I arch my back as they glide against me, faster and faster.

Already on the edge, it only takes a few strokes, then I’m lost to the waves cascading from the heart of me.

I tighten my grip on his shoulders, needing something to anchor me to this world, and let myself fall.

He follows a second later, pulsing inside me, his gaze never leaving mine.

Breathing rapidly with a full-blown smile, he gathers me into his arms and holds me for a long minute.

“That was more incredible than I imagined.” His fingers softly glide up and down my body as if he’s memorizing every curve and valley.

“Mmm,” I agree, content to be here with him, soaking in the scent of jasmine and musk. Unfortunately, the water cools, and reality comes crashing back. He lets my feet drop. Pulling back from him, I stare at him as I wash up, afraid that if I look away, he’ll disappear.

He steps out first and grabs a towel, holding it wide. I step into it, and he wraps it around my body, then places a sweet kiss on my shoulder. Bending down, he uses a second towel to dry off every bead of water from my legs and feet.

Sea-green eyes stare up at me as if he’s waiting for something.

“I…” I open my mouth, but Jamison’s face stops me. What do I say? I’m attracted to you but also to him. Hawthorne knows I’ve kissed him.

But honestly, who am I kidding? It’s all temporary. Once they realize who I am…

His thumb smooths the line between my brows. “Savor the moment. We live long lives. Plenty of time to figure things out. Okay?”

I nod, but I’m not sure that’s true anymore. This box could mean the end of it all.

Dark observant eyes land on me the second I step into the living room, then shift from me to Hawthorne.

A peculiar expression crosses his face, anger followed by sadness maybe?

I’m not quite sure, but he doesn’t seem happy to see Hawthorne and me.

His eyes land on my fingers, nervously rubbing a hole in the hem of my shirt, and he wipes all emotion from his expression.

Gatlin sweeps in from the kitchen, holding out a spoon with red sauce on it. “Taste this.” He extends it to me, and I take a tiny bite, then vigorously nod. He lifts an eyebrow. “Good, huh?” A broad smile appears. “Dinner will be ready soon. Hope you’re hungry.”

“Where’s Jamison?” I ask, a note of hesitation in my voice.

Gatlin jerks his chin toward the back door. “Tell him ten minutes.”

Nervous, I step outside and walk over to the edge of the garden.

I don’t know what to say to him. The minute Jamison sat down beside me at Hawkes House, I was intrigued.

Pulled toward him in a way I can’t explain.

Same with Hawthorn the minute I literally ran into him.

They appeal to different sides of me. Silence fills the space between us.

I don’t like it, but I need him to go first.

He pulls me in front of him, my back to his front, and wraps his arms around me.

“From the moment we met, I’ve thought of nothing but you.

” He drops a kiss on my neck. “I can’t say I haven’t seen your attraction to Hawthorne.

Or his to you. At first, I was jealous. Hated the thought of you liking him. Or having more in common with him.”

I drop my head back on his chest. “I never expected either of you. Or…” Gatlin’s protective nature and Mathias’ intense gaze fill my mind.

Jamison shifts me around to face him. “Or the other two? Are you attracted to all of us?”

His face is hidden by the shadows of the branches above him, and I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but I refuse to hide what I feel. My future might be unknown and full of chaos, but I can’t handle more secrets.

“Yes, I’m attracted to all of you. Although I’ve only acted on those feeling with you and Hawthorne,” I admit with a sigh.

“It’s insane, really. All these years, I’ve been alone.

Nothing more than a fling here and there.

Then you four come into my life, and it’s suddenly complicated.

Maybe I don’t deserve it, but I want to get to know all of you.

Whatever that looks like—friends or lovers. ”

I shake my head. “But the timing of everything. This quest. The council. I’m scared that any chance we might have is fleeting. Here today. Gone tomorrow. I…”

He places a finger on my lips. “None of that matters. I don’t know how Gatlin or Mathias feel.

It’s apparent we need to have a discussion.

Regardless, I want you to know how I feel.

” He takes a deep breath. “I’m all in. Give me all the complications.

I can handle it. Like you, I’ve lived a long life, avoiding entanglements, and I don’t want to lose out on my first chance for something real. ”

Living, not existing. Forging connections. Walking the path together. It’s terrifying and yet, oh so tempting. “I’m in.” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.

He spears his hand through my hair and cups my jaw. Firm lips descend on mine, unleashing a whirlwind of sensations and need. This man kisses like he’s storming the gates. As if he’s been waiting his whole life to kiss me, and no obstacle is going to stand in his way.