Page 16 of Cursed Shadows (Shadow Guardians #2)

CHAPTER ONE

DRAGAN

Mortal Realm

“I’m sorry,” Eilish says. I assume she’s referring to Thoradin.

Her eyes are downcast and in the light of the pale moon, I see tears in them. I feel something in my chest, an ache not unlike the feeling of Midnight Tears .

Her hair falls in front of her face, obscuring her for a moment. She raises her hand to tuck the white strands behind her ear. I notice there’s a freckle on the pointed section of her ear. I find myself thinking it’s the most beautiful thing about her.

“There’s no point in being sorry,” I respond gruffly. “It won’t bring him back.”

“I’m not just sorry for Thoradin,” she answers and refuses to look at me.

“What else are you sorry for?”

“I’m sorry for disappointing you,” she says, and the tears start in earnest. She still won’t look at me and a pinkish hue flushes her cheeks, pointing at her embarrassment. “I didn’t know I was Succubus.”

“We still don’t know if that’s what you are,” I remind her crossly. Anger is already tiding inside me and I’m not sure why.

“Baron seems to be convinced.”

“He’s been wrong before.” I pick up another rock and throw it, watching as it hits one of the trees in front of us. “And who the fuck is Baron anyway?”

She looks at me in question. “What do you mean?”

“Baron isn’t the same man he was before… before he was brought back to life. He’s someone different.”

“He’s Revenant,” she says with a shrug as she looks at me then and gives me a small smile.

“Yes,” I say with a quick nod. “He is Revenant.”

“Whatever I am,” she starts up again. “I didn’t mean to be this way.” Then she shakes her head. “That came out wrong.” She inhales deeply. “What I mean to say is I didn’t know I was what I am.”

I’m not sure I believe her, but I nod all the same. She continues.

“And I realize whatever… I am… has changed things between us.” Looking down at her feet, she sighs.

“I don’t know what to think anymore, Eilish.”

“I know.”

“Succubae are demons. They’re selfish, manipulative, and scheming. What’s more, they’re extremely powerful and most men can’t resist them.” I decide not to tell her of my own personal experiences with Lamia and her fucking daughters. It’s a memory that’s better left buried beneath all my other failures.

Eilish nods sadly, then looks back up at me. “For whatever it’s worth, I wasn’t manipulating you back at Master Ash’s. I… everything we did felt… right, to me. I did it because I wanted to… be close to you.”

I swallow hard and have to force down the need to take her again, right here. But I’m not sure if the need is based on my true attraction to her or if the Succubus side of her is merely pulling my strings. “You might not even truly want me,” I say in a scratchy voice.

“Not want you?”

“It could simply be the Succubus working through you without you even being aware of it. If you are Succubus, it means you have… needs that must be met.”

“Needs?”

I nod. “Succubae must have… sex to survive.” I can’t look at her. “That’s why I said you might not be as attracted to me as you think you are. It could just be your survival instinct.”

“Then how would I ever know what I truly want versus what this… part of me wants?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

She nods and then wipes her eyes on her sleeve, and I feel like an ass that I don’t reach out and hold her, comfort her.

But I can’t.

And I won’t.

***

EILISH

I feel so weighted by the conversation with Dragan that I begin to cry, much though I don’t want to. I don’t want him to witness my tears because I’m afraid he’ll think I’m weak.

But, to look at him now, makes my stomach turn because everything just seems so… so… unfair!

Even though shadows cling to his skin, he’s… beautiful. His olive skin, his black hair that dusts his shoulders. The angular planes of his face. The dark stubble that decorates his jaw, chin and cheeks. He’s impossibly large and broad, with shoulders that could encompass two men.

His heady, masculine scent wafts around me, filling me with the need to touch him. But then I wonder if this need is real or if it’s my traitorous body making me feel things that aren’t really there?

But then I look up at him and realize I’d be an absolute fool if I believed that.

Everything I feel for Dragan, it’s all real. Genuine. True.

His face is hard, and angry but there’s sorrow in the downturn of his lips.

I grow quiet and he looks over at me.

Our eyes meet and I feel like I’m shrinking inside. I can barely hold his gaze, can hardly bring myself to look into the light gray of his eyes. I’m afraid of what’s in them…

Nothing.

I can remember a time when Dragan was my only ally and protector. He was the only one who cared about me, aside from Flumph. There was something between us then, something strong and beautiful.

And now… now that something has been torn into shreds. Now I have only Flumph.

It’s a truth that makes me want to drop my head and sob.

But I don’t.

Instead, I take deep breaths and talk myself away from my tears. I can’t lose control in front of him. I would die of humiliation.

I look up at him even though I beg myself not to.

He’s talking but I can’t fully pay attention to the words coming from his mouth, instead I’m caught in a memory.

A memory I can’t escape…

“Do you trust me?” I ask Dragan as I look up at him and realize I have to further explain. “Cambion doesn’t trust me.”

“Cambion’s an asshole.”

“But do you trust me?”

He’s quiet for a few seconds. “Yes, I do.”

“I trust you, too,” I say quickly and feel a smile curling my lips. “Thank you.”

“What for?”

“For believing me.”

He chuckles, deep and low. “You’re welcome.”

“I’m not lying to you, Dragan. Everything I’ve told you is the truth. Well, as far as I know, anyway.”

“I know, Eilish,” he says, and his voice tells me not to worry about it anymore. “I know.”

***

DRAGAN

We sit for some time in silence, listening to the sounds of the forest and to one another’s breathing. The breeze through the leaves sounds like rushing water. Birds chirp, signaling the slow withdrawal of night and entrance into dawn.

It’s hard to be near her, especially when only a few moments ago I was reminding myself how dangerous closeness was. I continue to question myself over who the true Eilish is. Is she this innocent angel, or is she a highly deceptive demon?

The fucking worst part about the whole damned situation is that her being Succubus hasn’t changed my need for her. And this amazes me. Given what I went through at the hands of Lamia and her daughters, I never imagined I’d become ensnared by another Succubus again. And that subject on its own raises questions in my head…

Lamia and her daughters were supposed to be the last of their kind. So how is it possible…

I can’t even begin to comprehend the answer to that question now.

I look at Eilish and immediately regret it. I crave her just as much now as I did before I learned the ugly truth.

There will never be a moment when I don’t want her.

I force my brain away from the thought.

“He was a good man. He deserves a burial,” I announce, deciding Thoradin is the safest direction for our conversation.

“He does,” she agrees. “But we can’t go back. Anona and Dravon are still after us. Anona won’t fall for our tricks twice.”

“If I see her again, I’ll kill her.”

She moves closer, until our arms touch. I shift away from her as though she’s burned me, and she glances up at me, frowning slightly.

When she speaks again, her voice is tentative, “Can I ask you a question?”

“Yes.”

“If Flumph hadn’t told you I had my wings, would you have saved me from Anona?”

In this moment, she seems smaller than ever. Staring up at me with her large, questioning eyes, she looks so vulnerable, it makes my chest lurch. I want to kiss her again, to tell her how I truly feel about her. I want to feel her body beneath mine, to show her that I would kill anyone who even attempted to hurt her.

Instead, I answer her question, “I don’t know.”

“That’s what I thought.” She looks away and I can feel her disappointment in my response. “And if you thought I was a crossbreed—”

“I would have left you there,” I answer immediately and though my words are cold, they’re honest.

She nods slowly, her eyes downcast. I see the tears forming again, adding a sheen to her beautiful eyes.

Fuck me, but I want to extend a hand to lift her chin and look deep into the blue of her irises. My gaze drifts down to her lips, so full and beautiful.

She still needs you, I tell myself.

“Eilish,” I start but she moves back, away from my touch. She reminds me of a frightened doe.

“Cambion is almost finished with the Transmutation Stone ,” she says in explanation. She’s upset. I can read the truth in her expression. “It’s time we get back.”

She rises and wipes at the dirt clinging to the back of her cloak. As she does, it highlights the perfect outline of her body, and my longing grows deeper. It’s fucking agony not to touch her—not to slip my hand beneath the fabric of her dress and find the protruding nipple of her breast. Not to move my hand along the smooth midline of her stomach, not to feel her wetness, or taste her mouth as I enter her, plunging again and again into her glorious body.

She lingers for a moment, but then turns and walks back toward Cambion and the others.

I follow her.

When we reach them, morning is creeping into the valley. The sky is a light blue and the air is chilled. More birds have joined the initial morning chorus, and their pleasant sounds surround us. Cambion is crouched on the forest floor, the back of his silken robe facing us. It’s now ripped and covered in mud, which is just as well.

Before, he looked like a fucking sugar confection.

In front of him, I see the sparks of embers as he works on the stone.

Revenant is propped against a tree. He’s organizing his bag of poisons, placing vials in individual sleeves lining the interior of the purse. Beside him, the sprite snores at a surprising volume for such a small creature.

Revenant’s face is pale and waxen. Looking at the lightness spreading in the sky, I know he’ll soon need to seek shelter.

“Was that true, what you said?” Eilish asks him. “About the Crawler Mucus being lethal when inhaled?”

Revenant removes a vial of yellowish liquid from its sleeve and looks it over carefully before handing it to Eilish. She takes it from him and holds it up the sky. With the morning’s rays backlighting it, the color appears almost amber, rather than the shade of pus yellow I’d seen before.

“It was a lie,” he admits.

“A lie?” Eilish repeats.

He doesn’t look up from his poisons. “ Crawler Mucus is very rare. Most people don’t know what it is, making it an easy lie.”

“What does it do?”

He shrugs. “If it comes into contact with you, you become paralyzed, but only for a moment. Inhaling it had no effect on Anona.”

Eilish nods before passing the poison back to him. “That’s a shame. I was hoping it would kill her.”

“She’s been poisoned all the same,” replies Revenant, sliding the toxin back into its appropriate sleeve.

“How?” Eilish asks.

“If you recall, some of the vials fell to the ground in the scuffle?”

“Yes.” She nods.

“ Truth Serum shattered and landed on Anona’s foot,” Revenant continues. “In small doses, the serum forces its victim to speak the truth. In large doses, however, it can cause major hallucinations, memory loss, and in severe cases, insanity. Judging by the amount that spilled on Anona, I believe we’re looking at a severe case.”

Eilish smiles at him and my stomach drops. I think I see a glimpse of the darkness within her, and I swallow hard.

“Good,” she says before her expression changes, as though she’s considering another subject. “Why didn’t you try using the Truth Serum on me? To restore my memories?” she asks. “Or on yourself?”

Revenant shakes his head. “The Truth Serum would only have allowed either of us to tell the truth from our conscious minds. It lacks the ability to delve into the subconscious, where our true memories dwell.”

“And the Transmutation Stone can do that?” Eilish asks.

Cambion glances over at her and nods. Eilish returns her gaze to Revenant and he looks back at her. Neither of them say anything and the silence between them makes me uncomfortable.

I clear my throat. “Anona and Dravon are still a threat,” I say. “We can’t know for sure how the serum will affect her. We shouldn’t stay here long,” I finish, finding myself disliking this easy and candid association that seems to be forming between the two of them. It wasn’t just my imagination—Revenant has definitely softened towards Eilish upon learning of her dark side. I’m not sure why.

Regardless, I want him gone.

“I agree. We shouldn’t stay here long,” Revenant responds as he looks at me. He places the straps of his satchel over his head and stands. “Let’s just hope this stone gives us the answers we seek.”

I look to Eilish. Her eyes are averted, and she seems pensive. She approaches Cambion. Revenant looks pointedly at my hand and then at me. I forget my palm is stained with blood. No doubt, he scented it. He raises his eyebrow in question, but I angrily turn away from him and follow Eilish to where she’s watching Cambion.

I catch her scent on the breeze and my cock instantly hardens.

What the fuck?

I don’t understand what is going on with me. Is her Succubus call so strong that I can’t control myself? It must be. Either way, it bothers me, because it takes me back to a time I’d sorely attempted to forget.

I follow her gaze to Cambion, who’s kneeling on the hard floor of the forest. In his hands is a stone about the size of an egg. It’s golden, with flecks of purple and brown. The stone appears to be floating between his palms as he works the yellow embers over every surface.

His face is devoid of expression, and the whites of his eyes show. The embers continue to dance on the surface of the stone and his hands are an unyielding blur, revolving around the thing, turning it in the air.

Revenant comes to join our viewing party and the sprite lands gently on Eilish’s shoulder. It’s strange he doesn’t detect the darkness within her. But I suppose I didn’t, either. Until I saw proof of it for myself.

We stand like this for some time, until, without warning, Cambion’s pupils return and he blinks a few times. When he’s finished, he looks up at us, the stone resting in his hands. It’s glowing slightly, a gently radiating golden yellow. He holds it gingerly, eyeing his handiwork.

“It’s finished,” he proclaims. He sounds exhausted.

The air around us tenses as we all realize what this means. If the stone can unlock whatever is hidden away inside Eilish’s and Revenant’s minds, maybe it will provide the final information we need to defeat Variant once and for all.

But, if it doesn’t work…

If it leaves us with the same questions we’ve had since the beginning, the entirety of our journey will seem pointless—our battle with the manticore, our capture, Thoradin’s death... all of it. It will be for nothing if we can’t settle on a plan to eliminate Variant.

Maybe it’s already all for nothing, I think to myself as I look at Eilish.

I bring my attention back to the stone. No one moves to touch it. At this moment, it still represents hope. Our futures hang in the balance, and no one is willing to accept the certainty of a destiny decided.

Finally, Revenant extends his hand, and Cambion drops the stone into his palm. As he does, Revenant’s eyes roll back into his head, and his body freezes. He’s rigid before us, the stone glowing in his palm.