Page 20 of Cursed Evermore

I rolled my eyes again and raised sharp brows at her. “I’m fine. No need to hear the story again.” By the sound of things, I was sure I was shocked when I first heard it. It must have been nice to have your own personal living secret diary, aka me. Tell me a secret or a scandalous story, and I’d forget it in thirty days. Or less, depending on when you told me. “How in the hells can you be talking about hooking up at a time like this?”

Emabelle laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder in that sassy way men had always liked. “This isexactlythe time to be talking aboutthat. You havetwo weeksleft as a free woman, Miss Lady. And tonight is the last that we’ll get to hang out like this.”

Gods.The thought curled around me like a noose. And she had a point.

“If you hooked up with a guy of your choosing. Preferably someone who could fuck you properly. At least you’d have some choice in who gets to be your first. Why should it beThayden?”

The noose tightened around my gut. Those words hit deeper than anything we’d spoken about tonight.

Due to my memorycondition,I’d remained a virgin. Not that it made much difference now, but losing my virginity was something I’d always wanted to remember.

Mother did her best to ensure I remained a virgin because she wanted to keep me pure for Thayden. But just in case my rebellious side ever slipped past her control, she gave me the elixir on the first day of every reset to prevent pregnancy.

She even administered the virginity test herself, claiming she didn’t trust anyone else to touch me there. Then she made me record it in my journal.

I was covered until the next reset, but I was to stop taking the elixir after the wedding.

Gods, the thought of being with Thayden made my stomach churn. And I’d be with him for the rest of my life.

Emabelle was right. Why shouldheget to be my first? That was the only thing I had control of. The only thing that was still mine.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t crave the thought of being with someone who could make me forget everything, if only for a moment. But maybe it wasn’t wise to add to my ever-growing list of mistakes.

“I don’t know if that would work.” I pressed my sweaty palms to the soft cotton of my skirt.

“Why not? I hope you don’t think Thayden remainedpurefor you.” She gave me an incredulous glare.

“I would never make the mistake of thinking that.” He was twenty-eight, and I’d always seen him with a woman on his arm.

“And he never even gave you a betrothal ring.”

“I never expected that, either.” Regardless of what Thayden felt for me, slipping a betrothal ring on my finger would have bound him to me too early. He wouldn’t have been able to get up to whatever debauchery he was used to.

“Glad you’re on the same page as me. Elariya, please listen to me on this. Losing your virginity should beyourchoice. You have plenty of men to choose from in Stormfell.” The mischief returned to her eyes and she giggled. “Andkissingfriends.”

Oh hells.Kissing friends, namely James Peterson and Benjamin Withers. I read about those guys in my journals. My cheeks colored fiercely at the recollection of what I’d written. Apparently, kissing friends was my answer to hooking up without actuallyhooking up.

Sometimes when I was reading my journals, I felt that each memory reset created a different version of me. Almost like I’d lived paralleled lives without ever fully belonging to one. But I guessed it depended on what happened to me during thatmonth to make me choose certain things.Kissing friendsmust have been one of thoseelusivedecisions I seemed to make on a sporadic basis.

The version of me who sat here now was appalled that I could be so frivolous, but if I were being completely honest, I also longed for a break. Something as carefree and freeing as hooking up, even with akissing friend, to escape reality.

I was just about to say something more when a loud burst of laughter from the man in the corner ripped through the air. He and his friends were playing a drinking game with some travelers who’d been regaling each other with lewd tales of their exploits at the local brothel.

Beyond them, the tavern door swung open, letting in a gust of damp, woodsmoke-scented air. Two men who looked to be our age stepped inside, their boots heavy against the creaking floorboards. They looked like hunters. The tallest one caught my gaze and smiled, too easily, as if he knew me. My stomach tightened before I could stop it.

His eyes latched onto mine, and a slow, deliberate recognition darkened his gaze. From that, I realized I was right. Hedidknow me. And he didn’t just know me, he expected me to know him, too.

I must have met him after the curse, because I had no memory of him.

This situation was something I went through every month, so I was never left alone in the village. With the strict Faith beliefs and witch hunters at full force, keeping the curse secret was vital. Emabelle or someone else who'd accompanied me would fill me in on who was who when I came across them.

My heart squeezed when tall-guy said something to the other guy he’d come in with and proceeded to make his way over to us.

I grabbed Emabelle’s hand and leaned closer. “There’s a guy coming over. He looks like he knows me.”

“Oh, good.” At first, she smiled, until she glanced over her shoulder and saw who I was referring to, then she frowned deeply and sneered as if she’d nearly stepped in dog shit. Quickly, she turned back to me. “No. Not him. That’s James Peterson. You havenointerest in that prick. He broke your heart.”

Enough said. According to my notes, he was kissing friend number one, but we stopped being kissing friends when I caught him in our stables balls deep in Cindy Havisham, a girl who’d hated me since we were kids. That happened eight months ago. I hadn’t seen or spoken to him since.