Page 36 of Cursed by Death (Ruby Jane #1)

M y eyes flew open. I was suddenly wide awake, but I did not move.

I was too afraid to move.

There was someone in my room with me, I could feel their presence. I just couldn’t tell if it was a friend or foe.

And my cellphone was all the way across the room on the dresser. Not that it would help me right now. It wasn’t like the police would show up in two seconds and be able to rescue me.

And they wouldn’t be able to stand up against the kind of enemies I might now have. The police were human, had no special skills to note, and they would likely die trying to save me.

How had someone even been able to get into the house? They would have to have had the code and Fox would most likely have heard someone come in the door.

Maybe.

I was able to leave last night and I didn’t think he’d heard that.

Fuck.

My mind raced with thoughts of what I should do in this situation.

Fight or flight?

I would likely be at a severe disadvantage when it came to either option when dealing with the supernatural. Even if I was part one myself. And, yeah, I just admitted to that.

Forget sleeping with my phone plugged in closer to the bed, I needed to start sleeping with my weapons closer to the bed instead. I didn’t do that now because my security system made me feel safe. That and I’d gotten used to sleeping in the basement, and I didn’t think anything could possibly touch me down there.

How could I have ever been so stupid or careless I wasn’t exactly sure.

I managed to keep my breathing regulated but my body was as stiff as a board and I was tense. I couldn’t even pretend to relax if I tried.

“I know you’re awake. I felt it the moment you woke up. So, you can stop pretending now.”

I immediately relaxed at hearing Rally’s voice. He’d either let himself in with the code or Fox had opened the front door for him.

I sat up and pushed the hair back out of my face. I looked around the dark room, searching for the man himself to match the voice with, and found him standing with his back against the door. His arms were crossed over his chest and he looked like a stiff statue.

I had a feeling I was about to see a different side to Rally. A very unhappy, pissed off at me, side to Rally.

“You snuck off without Fox and went to the underground,” he said in a very quiet, carefully controlled voice. “And then you went in with the hunters, of all people. Explain yourself.”

Explain myself?

I was suddenly so angry I couldn’t speak. How dare he speak to me as if I were a naughty child or, even, as if I owed him any sort of explanation. Which I did not.

I could understand why Ginger had been owed an explanation after she’d been woken up in the middle of the night. I could even understand why Fox had deserved some kind of explanation as well. I didn’t think I owed him an apology because I didn’t want, need, or ask for him, or anyone else for that matter, to be guarding me.

Rally had done that, without my knowledge or consent.

And now he was here, in my house in the middle of the night, demanding that I explain myself?

“I’m not doing this,” I said in a very calm voice that managed to hide the turmoil I was feeling on the inside.

“Not doing what exactly?” His voice was deceptively soft, controlled even.

I had a feeling I wasn’t the only one attempting to hide the emotions raging inside of me.

This was not going to end well. For either of us.

I waved my hand vaguely in his direction. “This. I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t even want it to begin with. And now I’m not doing it.”

I didn’t think that statement would require any more clarification on my part.

“And what exactly is this?” he said, his emphasis on this was so filled with abhorrent disgust that it almost made me flinch. “That you don’t want and aren’t doing? And I want you to think very carefully before answering that question because my patience where you’re concerned has finally run dry this evening.”

“Are you threatening me?” I asked instead of answering his questions that I felt I had already answered the first time. I wasn’t going to repeat myself. “You know what? Never mind. It doesn’t even matter anyways. Just get out of my house. And take Fox with you.”

He laughed but I knew there was no actual humor behind it. I think he laughed likely because he didn’t want to scream.

I had that effect on some people. It was a gift that I had perfected over the years.

“You still don’t get it. You don’t get to walk away from me and I’m not just going to go away because you told me to. That’s not how this is ever going to work so you better get that out of your head right fucking now.”

I shook my head, annoyed and completely over this bullshit talk. How many times was he going to need me to tell him to leave?

Was this me breaking up with him or was I entirely unhinged for thinking that? Were we in a relationship to even break up? I had no idea because I had never been in one before. I had only fucked men who got paid for it, because they were really good at it, and then I sent them home.

It had always been a fair exchange with no emotions involved in it whatsoever. I knew the rules and how to play that game. This was a whole new game that I’d never been given the rules to and Rally’s emotions were clearly involved.

And we hadn't even had sex. He was being ridiculous.

“I believe we’ve had this conversation before and I’d rather we not have it again,” I told him. “Now I’ve told you that you need to leave. Please do that. And take Fox with you. He’s a nice guy and I like him but there’s really no reason or need for him to be here.”

He laughed again and I could tell it was without humor and almost mocking. I hadn’t seen this side of Rally before. He’d been so easy going that it sometimes made me forget who I was dealing with here and what he was capable of.

For fucks sake. He and his people had kidnapped Detective Rowans and he’d only let him go after blackmailing me into doing what he wanted me to do. And he’d been ready to rip the good Detective apart that first night we had met.

Rally wasn’t just a normal man. He was part animal, too. He hadn’t been turned into one, he’d been born like that. And he was a Prince, a leader, of a whole group of people.

And I kept treating him like he was just some regular guy that I could kick to the curb whenever I got sick of him. He’d probably never been treated that way before in his entire freaking life.

No wonder he seemed so upset with me.

“You’re my fucking mate, Ruby. I’m not going anywhere. You can’t just snap your fingers and send me on my way like I’m some disposable person in your life because you don’t know how to let people love you and it scares the shit out of you. I know you know how to love people because I’ve seen it. Would you ever tell Ginger or even that fucking cop to get the fuck out of your house? No. I don’t think you would.”

What the hell did Detective Rowans have to do with this? And why was he suddenly talking about love? There was no reason to bring any of that into this conversation right now.

“You’re not Ginger,” I said, pointing out the obvious. “She lives here, I would never tell her to go anywhere. And why are you bringing the Detective into this? Leave him out of it, he has nothing to do with anything.”

Rally didn’t get to talk to me about the Detective after what he’d done to the man. I hadn’t realized I still harbored some resentment towards him for that. We hadn’t even talked about it since it had happened and he never once even apologized for it. Not that I needed an apology but it would be nice if he gave the Detective one.

I didn’t see that ever happening though because I was fairly certain Rally wasn’t sorry about it in the slightest.

He pushed himself away from the door and prowled towards the bed, stopping beside it and staring down at me. “That’s another thing we’re going to talk about. That fucking cop that you’re obsessed with. You’re my mate and I now have to share you with him. You have to know that I wouldn’t put up with that shit from anyone else but because you’re my mate and your happiness means everything to me, I’m willing to put up with your obsession with him. But that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, because I sure as fuck am not. It pisses me off and I really don’t enjoy the fact that you seem to like being around him more than you want to be around me. Me, who fucking loves you and would die for you why can’t you just be a little obsessed with me? Is that too much to ask for when you so freely give it to him?”

I stared at him in horror. He couldn’t actually be serious, could he? “I’m not obsessed with the Detective,” I choked out past my suddenly dry lips.

I wasn’t, right?

Infatuated for some reason? Maybe just a little. Obsessed? I thought not.

“That’s all you got out of that?” he asked, sounding upset and angry.

“I’m not obsessed with Detective Rowans,” I repeated. “And it’s not healthy that you want me to be obsessed with you. That’s actually a little bit unhinged.”

“What the hell do you know about a healthy relationship?”

Ouch.

But he did have a point. It just wasn’t a very nice one. “There’s nothing healthy about obsession.”

“Who gives a fuck. That’s probably the last thing we should be worried about when it comes to our relationship.”

I frowned at him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?’

He threw up his hands in exasperation. “You want to fuck other people, Ruby. You’re my mate and I have to be okay with sharing you. It’s just what you expect of me, I know it is, and you never even asked me if it was okay with me. Do you really not care about anyone but yourself? Or is it just me you don’t give a fuck about?”

Another ouch delivered. This time I almost flinched. “You’re an asshole. A serious asshole. I’m not going to apologize for being attracted to the Detective or having some kind of unexplainable connection to him. I didn’t ask to be your mate. I never asked for any of this and I’m certainly not about to tell you who you can and can’t have relations with. That’s your business.”

Okay, so I might not say anything to him if I found out he was with another woman but I would absolutely hate everything about it. Hypocritical, I know.

He leaned down into me and put his face right in mine. His eyes had bled to his wolf's eyes and they were shining bright in the dark room.

“Everything you do is my goddamn business,” he whispered harshly. “And, this is the last fucking time I’m going to tell you this, so I’m going to need you to actually pay attention and hear what it is that I’m saying to you. You. Are. My. Mate. For me, it’s only ever going to be you. I get that we are different and you’re not a shifter so you’re not going to be connected to me the same way that I am to you. I get it. I even understand it. But that doesn’t mean that I have to like it or that I’m going to be happy about it. Neither of us can change that you’re my mate and I wouldn’t change it even if I could. The sooner you come to terms with that the better off we’ll both be.”

I swallowed thickly as I stared into his bright, shining wolf eyes. “I don’t ever want to feel like I belong to another person besides myself,” I whispered. “I belong to myself. I can’t get lost that way and it’s the only safe bet for me.”

“Baby. I don’t want you to belong to me. All I want is for you to let me love you.”