CHAPTER 14

Seraphine

Eighty-nine gentlemen. That’s how many names were crossed off the list in total. Three names had delicate little hearts next to their titles; three men seemed worth getting to know better. A good amount of me wanted to send them directly to my body waiting in the castle of Havenshire, have them kiss my cold lips, and be done with this. But it needed to be the right one. We needed to be sure because my betrothed had made it clear he would not allow a line of men to show up at his future queen’s bedside, kissing her soundly. He could even be a problem when we figured we’d found the right one. Something told me Urik was considering letting me die if he himself could not have me.

Korven interviewed the fifth from last gentleman and my attention drifted. I focused on the ticking of his knitting needles, his fingers moving so deftly, quicker than I’d ever seen. Watching his skill, my thoughts drifted to his mysterious sister and what life had been like for Korven after we’d met. Would she grow up to bestow curses, too? What was her name? Did she look like Korven? Who was her father?

Most of the fae Goddesses of the Veil had children. All but one. And each child usually had a different mortal father. I knew nothing of Korven’s father and very little of his Ravenfae Goddess mother. Only what was told in one of my favorite books, but no one really knew how much of that story was true.

My education had been mostly my own doing. I’d spent my childhood at Fiola’s court, learning all I could from her Forestfae, but most of them would rather roll down a grassy hillside than learn to read. When I had turned sixteen, I’d convinced her I was ready to find my own place. She knew of an abandoned cottage near the border of the Brackish Wood, unoccupied for about as long as I’d been living. A fae couple had lived there before their child was stolen from them. That was the story anyway. Regardless, it was my home, and I had been happy there. I didn’t need many friends. I didn’t need a constant companion, choosing instead to occasionally find a lover for a few nights when I was summoned to court.

I didn’t need anybody.

Until now. On this day. In this moon cycle, when my life depended on just that.

Finding somebody.

“A good mystery sparks my fancy.”

I tuned back into the conversation Korven was having with a portly man dressed impeccably, as they all were. His cheeks beamed a shiny red, and I didn’t doubt it was from a nervous drink he’d had before his summons. He had all his hair, graying as it was, and a smile that was joyful—could be charming even.

“And tell me, Count Iru, what do you think of women who have the herbalist skill?”

“Herbalists?” The count pondered the question and I raised a brow at Korven. He’d never asked this one before.

The Count continued. “I suppose I haven’t much thought of them. But I use a salve for my sore calves at night, so I do appreciate that women of such skill exist.”

Korven put whatever he was knitting in his lap, posing the quill over Count Iru’s name, watching me for my decision. I twisted my lips to the side and took another look at the man. Perhaps we could read mysteries by the fire, and I could rub his calves every night in the salve I made regularly for sore muscles.

Goddess save me.

I couldn’t see that as my future. As much as I tried to imagine these men in my life, loving me, I couldn’t see any of them doing that. But what did I know? I’d never been loved. Regardless of how I had loved once, I didn’t know the feeling of being loved in return, knowing a man was out there, waiting to come home to me. Wanting to come home to me.

I wouldn’t cry. Not like this where Korven would see, think me too tired to continue, and wonder at his own fate being tied to such a woman.

“Can we...take a rest for a bit?” I asked.

His brow furrowed as he nodded while crossing Count Iru’s name off the list. “Of course.”

After he excused the Count, he rose, leaving through the red door at the tallest room of the manor. I was thankful to be alone. I was thankful to know he’d return.

I sighed heavily, the weight of it surprising even me. I rose onto my feet and the soft red blanket fell to the floor revealing...more of me.

My feet were there in my shoes as before, but now, I existed in the flesh up to my knees. Unfortunately, that meant my Goddessdamned dress existed as well. The material swished in an obnoxious sound as I walked to the window, peering out at the Count’s carriage. He stepped in and left what was likely the most bizarre interview he’d ever had, none the wiser what it was actually for. The door to the room opened and I turned.

Korven leaned on the frame, a Ravenfae dressed in black against the sharp bite of smooth red paint. The colors didn’t fit him. He appeared hard, but had shown me only soft in the few days I’d known him as an adult.

He took a deep breath. “Are we going to talk about it?”

I wasn’t sure what ‘it’ he was referring to. The men we had met? The names he had marked to meet again? The fact that Count Iru had a large stain across his cravat from lunch? The kiss we’d shared at ten-years-old?

“Wh-what? Talk about what?”

He lifted himself from the door, walking towards me as if I was a gentle creature and easily spooked. “Just one thing. There’s just one thing we need to discuss, right now, at this moment.”

I wouldn’t do it.

I. Would. Not. Cry. Crying alone when the loneliness of the life I loved became too heavy was one thing, but crying in front of him...that was something I would not allow myself to do.

I swallowed as he crept closer. My knees backed against the window seat, my obnoxiously loud gown crinkling in the movement. I gritted my teeth, unable to feel the strength of my jaw at all. “What do we need to discuss?” I asked, my voice a breathy tremble.

He lingered near, his legs crushing the layers of fabric even more. His eyes darted all around my face, stalling on my lips before lifting back to my eyes. A wild smirk lit his mouth as he said, “This ugly fucking dress.”