Page 43 of Cupcake of the Month (Just Add Peaches #2)
Katrina smiled. “I knew within five minutes of talking to Zach that he’s still in the best environment. I’m going to suggest counseling to help cope with his parents’ betrayal. For both of you.”
Josh nodded. “Of course.”
“And remember. Zach isn’t a little boy anymore. Shielding him from conflict not only won’t help, but it may hurt him. He needs to learn the skills for meeting the world head on, and he can’t do that if you won’t let him experience the bad along with the good.”
He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I don’t want him to get hurt.”
“Knowing the truth means he can make informed decisions. And solid relationships can be built only on a foundation of truth. Pain is a part of life, Josh. Wait until he enters high school. Starts dating.” She gave him a little grin. “He needs the experiences you’re not letting him have.”
It made sense. “Okay.”
“A counselor will be able to explain this better than me. I’ll give you a call with some names.” She stood up and shook hands with the two of them. “I’ll need to schedule another visit in about a month or so, but you have nothing to worry about, Josh. Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will.” He walked her to the door, then closed it behind her and let out a harsh breath. He leaned against the door, watching Jordan’s graceful movements as she pushed her glasses up her nose and joined him by the door.
Zach appeared in his doorway. “Does this more experience thing mean I get to stay up ‘til midnight?”
Josh crossed the room in quick strides and engulfed his brother in a hug. “Right now, buddy, you can have anything you want. Just don’t pull a stunt like that again.”
“Sweet.” Zach untangled himself and headed to the kitchen. “I’m getting ice cream. And I’m not eating my vegetables tonight.”
“Mrs. Sumner is making that carrot and parsnip puree dish you like so much.”
“Okay, maybe I’ll eat some vegetables tonight.” He grabbed a spoon and ate the ice cream out of the carton.
“Go share that with Vela,” Josh said. He guided Zach by his shoulders to the front door.
“Trying to get rid of me?”
There was a flash of panic through Josh’s body. He had been determined to never let Zach feel like he was being shoved aside for any reason. Careless words like—
“Josh. Relax.” Zach rolled his eyes as only a thirteen-year-old could. “I was kidding. Sheesh.” He made kissing noises and walked out the door, leaving Josh and Jordan in heated silence.
His body ached to hold hers, and he crossed his arms to hold himself in check. His throat clogged around the words he could never say. “It’s been a while since someone stood up for me like that.”
“It wasn’t hard to tell the truth.”
He walked over to the hanging bag and smoothed his hands down its sides, anything to keep from facing her. “I fucked up.”
She stood next to him, one hand making small circles on his back. The physical touch was a comfort, but his body craved more. So did his heart.
“Josh, you’ve done everything you could for your brother.”
She had misunderstood. He kept his face averted and held the punching bag still. “Not with him. With you.”
The movement stopped and Jordan sucked in a soft breath. “Yeah. You did. Big time.”
Josh turned from the bag, his eyes drinking her in. “I love you, Jay. From the moment you stepped into my life eight years ago. It’s always been you.”
She gave a soft snort of disbelief. “You’re kidding me. Now? Now you say something?”
“I couldn’t keep it in anymore.” He took her hands, feeling her erratic pulse.
“You couldn’t keep it in. You. Mr. Stoic.” She tugged and he released her hand. She strode away from him. “I’m not a prop for you to use, Josh.”
What was she talking about? “I know that.”
“You can’t act on your wants only when it’s convenient for you. Loving someone can be damn inconvenient.”
“I can’t pretend Zach won’t come first, Jordan.”
“Zach should always come first.” She shook her head. “Geez, is that what you think I’m saying?”
“Then what are you saying?”
“It still comes down to trust. You said it plainly yourself the other night. You avoided me and your feelings for eight years. It was enough. But now there’s something else.” She swallowed. “This time it’s trust in yourself, not in me.”
“That’s not true. I avoided you because I was trying to protect you.”
“You should have let me decide that. If you loved me, Josh, you should have been open and honest and built a relationship on mutual respect. It can’t grow unless you grow, too.”
Her voice filled with conviction. This was what she wanted. And it wasn’t him.
“I don’t want to go back to a life without you,” he ground out.
Jordan’s eyes blinked rapidly behind her brown glasses. “You’re saying that for the wrong reasons. I’m not your crutch.”
A painful ache radiated in his chest. “You wanted declarations of love and desire? And now you’re bailing because I didn’t give them to you when you thought you should have them. You never gave them to me, either. It works both ways.”
“You’re right. I didn’t. And maybe that should tell us both something.” She lifted a hand toward his cheek, then switched directions and pushed her hair back behind an ear. That small change of movement ripped him up.
“I’m really glad things worked out with Zach. Really glad. But now it’s time for me to say goodbye.”
“My life is better with you in it.” He didn’t care if he sounded desperate. “I’m sorry I didn’t say the words sooner, Jay, but that doesn’t make them any less true. I love you. Doesn’t that mean anything?”
“Of course it does.” Tears shone in her eyes. “And another time, another place. We could have had a different life. But this one, Josh, I don’t know if you know what real love is.”