Page 58 of Culinary Chaos (Hotel Bombshell #1)

Chapter

Forty-Five

H ope’s fingers were at her lips.

Again.

She couldn’t stop touching them. She couldn’t stop feeling the tingle and softness of Angelica’s mouth against hers.

It had been days, and she hadn’t been able to get the feeling out of her head.

This was so much worse than that first time.

This had been passionate, desired by both of them, and it had sent so much arousal through her body that she’d nearly combusted when she got home that night.

“Is something going on?” Rex slid next to her on the couch, spreading out his legs and melting into it.

His question hadn’t been antagonistic, but imploring.

Hope had to remember that. Because all of her defenses went up instantly.

The lack of guilt that she’d felt concerned her.

She should feel that, right? But the kiss itself had still thrown her into a tailspin that she couldn’t quite get herself out of.

“Why would you ask that?”

“You’ve been off since we stopped filming. Well, really since the wrap party.” Rex pressed his head into the back of the couch and turned to look at her. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Hope’s voice broke, and then she stopped herself.

This was Rex. She never wanted to be a wife who hid anything from her husband.

While working with him had been difficult, this wasn’t about that at all.

This was about them, as a couple, in a relationship together.

One that they worked on, and one that they both cherished. “No.”

“No?” Rex frowned at her. He sat up straighter and reached over for her hand. “What’s wrong then?”

Hope looked around the room, making sure that Eva was nowhere near them. She didn’t need to hear this, because she knew it was going to upset Rex. But she had to tell him. She couldn’t keep it from him any longer.

“Ange and I kissed.”

“What?” A deep line formed in the center of Rex’s forehead, and the hand that had been on hers vanished instantly. He shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. His breathing became heavy and uneven. Rex shifted, putting more space between them. “What do you mean?”

“I…” Hope’s heart stuttered. “I don’t know how it happened really, but we kissed.”

“What does it mean?”

“I don’t know.” Tears welled in Hope’s eyes now.

She hadn’t expected this. She should have, but she hadn’t anticipated what it would feel like to finally let him in on this.

She breathed through the tears, her nose clogging up.

“I mean, I think I realized that I’m not as straight as I once thought I was.

I’ve never kissed a woman before, and it was… I liked it. That part of it.”

“But the rest of it? Did she force herself on you?”

“No.” Hope swallowed, her tears starting to flow freely now. “No, she didn’t force it. It was mutual.”

At least the second time had been. But like Angelica had said, did she really even count that first one? Hope sucked her lower lip into her mouth and breathed slowly. She needed to get herself under control, because they needed to have this conversation.

“I don’t understand, Hope. Wh-why would you?—”

“I didn’t plan it.” Hope grimaced. That was the last thing she’d done both times. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she looked him over. She knew she was breaking his heart with all of this. “I didn’t plan it,” she said again, whispering.

“But you kissed her.” Rex’s eyes were wide.

“I thought I noticed you two were different together, but I didn’t think it was this.

I just thought that you’d figured out how to talk to her in a way no one else had.

Damn it, Hope!” Rex stood up sharply, and she finally saw the rage she’d expected to be there from the beginning. “I don’t know what to do with this.”

“Neither do I.” She hated this. “What I do know is that I’m not willing to give you up, or Eva. That’s nowhere in what I’m thinking right now. I’m sensible.”

Rex snorted. “You’re not sensible. You’re impulsive, and you break the rules.

You always have.” He ran his hands through his hair, looking around the house before coming back to land his gaze on her.

“It’s how you’ve gotten this far in your career.

But don’t for one second think that you’re sensible. ”

“Rex…” Hope’s voice broke.

“No. I need…a minute. Or a day.” He walked away, straight out the front door, shutting it louder than normal.

Hope crumbled. She collapsed into the corner of the couch and stared at the front door, just waiting for him to come back.

This was going to take a whole lot of work, and way more than just one conversation.

She knew that. But she couldn’t keep it to herself anymore.

She had to tell him. And she knew there were probably going to be a whole lot more details that they would need to work on.

Lifting her fingers to her lips, she could still feel the way Angelica pressed against her.

The way their mouths melded together, their tongues teasing each other.

Her body burned for more of that, her mind no longer spinning circles about the fact that she was interested in women sexually, but about the fact that she’d actually done something about it.

She hadn’t been thinking at all.

She’d followed her gut, and that was it.

Hope hadn’t thought she’d come back here.

Not after the wrap party had ended and she’d made her way home, but she needed to talk to Angelica.

And this was the only way that she could figure out how to do it.

A call wouldn’t work. A text would be crazy.

She needed to see Angelica face-to-face.

She needed to talk this out. So a week after the wrap party, she was back.

Angelica’s office wasn’t that far from reception, and Hope walked directly to it. The door was open, so she stepped just inside and found Angelica sitting at her desk, bent over a binder. The gentle waves of her hair covered most of her face, but she was as beautiful as ever.

“Hello,” Hope said, a little more bubbly than she was feeling, but she could tell that her voice was as shaky as she was.

Angelica jerked with a start, looking up at her, instantly turning from concerned to confused. “Hope.”

Hope pressed her lips together in a tight smile. “I was hoping that we could talk for a minute.”

“Yes, of course.” Angelica stood up, coming around the desk to meet Hope in the center of the office. Hope glanced toward the open door she’d just come in, and Angelica walked to it to shut it before coming back. But she didn’t say anything else.

Biting her lip, Hope stared into Angelica’s eyes and tried to read everything that she was thinking in this moment. “I can’t stop thinking about the kiss.”

“Me too.” Angelica’s lips curled up slightly, a half smile that Hope loved seeing.

At least she wasn’t the only one who was distracted by everything.

Hope drew in a ragged breath. The last few days at home had been awful.

Rex had worked more than he needed to, and they both knew it.

He was escaping the tension, and Hope couldn’t blame him for it either.

She needed to go back to San Francisco soon, and she wasn’t ready to leave with such turmoil going on.

“The kiss…” Hope sighed heavily, biting her lip. She really just needed to say what she came here to say. “I’m not a lesbian, Ange.”

Angelica furrowed her brow in confusion.

“I still love my husband and Eva.”

“Yeah, that’s no small thing.” Angelica’s jaw tightened, and her eyes narrowed.

“I’m not…” Hope stopped, still trying to find the right words. “The kiss…”

“It was a mistake,” Angelica said, far more firmly and confidently than Hope could have mustered.

And Hope wasn’t entirely sure she agreed with that. Her heart hammered. Did Angelica regret it? Because Hope certainly didn’t. “It wasn’t a mistake.”

“But Rex, Eva…” Angelica frowned.

Hope reached for Angelica’s hand, curling their fingers together tenderly. The touch was gentle, and Angelica’s fingers were warm against hers. Both of them stared. Hope’s breath stilled, her entire body coming to a halt finally as she looked down at their joined hands.

“It wasn’t a mistake,” she said more confidently, following the line of Angelica’s arm up to her lips and then her eyes. “And I don’t regret it. But it is throwing my life into a spin. It’s making everything worse right now.”

“I don’t understand.” Angelica met Hope’s gaze.

“Taking this job was a risk for me and my family, you have to understand that. To work with Rex on set, to take my family on a traveling adventure across the US, and to try my hand at a reality show that’s harder and way more intense than teaching people how to cook where everything is prepped and prepared ahead of time. It’s a risk. And it failed.”

Angelica’s face fell.

“Josef said we’re not getting renewed, and the episodes haven’t even officially aired yet. Rex is out a job. I’m out a job. It’s not like we’re destitute, but it’s thrown our house into a lull of depression.”

“Where are you going with this?” Angelica interjected.

“I’m trying to talk to you.” Hope shuffled forward a little, keeping her hand tangled in Angelica’s. “Like we talked at Mountain View.”

Angelica sucked in a sharp breath.

“I figured it out then,” Hope said.

“Figured what out?” Angelica breathed the words quietly, a barely there, timid whisper.

“How much I liked you.” Hope gave her a small smile. “That it was more than I should.”

Angelica’s lips curled upward in a satisfied smirk.

Hope tried to ignore it, but it did feel good to be wanted.

Not just by Rex, but by someone who was powerful, someone who was closed off, someone who seemed to soften only for her.

Hope smiled back, pulling Angelica a little closer.

She had no idea what she was doing other than following her instincts again.

“I told Rex everything,” Hope said. “He deserves to know.”

Angelica froze. She broke the touch of their hands, the lingering connection that they had. “You told him?”

“Of course. He’s my husband.”

Fear. That’s exactly what was floating through Angelica’s gaze now. Pure, unadulterated fear. Hope wanted to wipe that way. Even Rex hadn’t looked that scared when she’d talked to him about the kiss initially. Angelica, however, nearly trembled from the fear.

“What’s wrong?” Hope asked.

“Nothing.”

Angelica’s office door opened. Josef stood there, looking at the two of them, his gaze flicking back and forth. Hope stared at him curiously, waiting for some sort of explanation as to why he was just barging in here.

“We need to talk.” He looked at Angelica. “Alone.”

Angelica nodded, a mask perfectly in place. But the image of that fear in her gaze wouldn’t leave Hope’s memory. Was she that afraid of Josef? And for what? What the hell was going on between these two? She’d never quite gotten that answer, but there was always something under the surface there.

“Thanks for coming by, Mrs. Lawrence.” Angelica faced her now, hands folded in front of her body. “I’m glad we were able to work together this season.”

Hope’s lips parted in surprise. That was a shocking switch, a cold bucket of ice water dumped over them to the point that it felt impossible to even breathe.

She wanted Josef to go away, to crawl into the hole that he surely came out of, because she wanted to finish her damn conversation with Angelica. She wanted to know what was wrong.

Angelica nodded toward the door, giving Hope a hardened look. Hope awkwardly nodded at her, pulling away. She took a deep breath and looked at Josef. “Good to see you again.”

“Hope,” he said, eyeing her suspiciously.

What was…? Hope looked from him and back to Angelica, the tension in the room rising to a near breaking point.

This was over her head. She needed to escape.

She locked her gaze on Angelica, trying to show her as much concern as possible and silently ask if she needed to stay, but Angelica didn’t move. She didn’t say anything.

Hope left.

She shut the door behind her, hearing it click loudly. But she didn’t take another step. Her hand remained on the handle, the lifeline she thought Angelica might need.

“What the hell was that about?” Josef boomed.

“We were talking about the press tour.” Angelica’s voice was firm and confident, nothing of what it had been moments before.

Why the hell would Angelica lie so easily about that? She could have said they were catching up. Three months together was a long time to not form any type of connection.

“Don’t lie to me, Ange. You did something.”

Angelica scoffed. “Why are you here, Josef?”

“We need to talk press.”

Hope left then. Angelica could handle herself, and she wasn’t going to glean any other information. Angelica was way too careful for that. She walked down the hallway and back toward the parking garage. It was cool down here, and she reveled in it. She needed that.

Nothing had felt quite right about that conversation.

Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Everything had felt decent until Josef had showed up, and then she’d seen a side of Angelica she hadn’t before.

Defensiveness. All those walls coming up instantly without warning. The change was so drastic. So sharp.

What was Angelica protecting?

It was easy to tell who she was hiding from, but there was more to it than that. From Hope’s understanding, Josef was the one who got Angelica the job, so they should be close. Angelica should trust him.

So why didn’t she?