Page 44 of Culinary Chaos

What did that even mean?

Staring at the ceiling as the light spread through the cracks in the curtains, Hope blinked away the dryness in her eyes. Today would be rough working off no sleep. Rex had snored lightly all night next to her, after she’d fucked his brains out before bed. And now all she could think about was doing it again.

Just to make sure.

That she still liked men.

That she still lovedhim.

Because the confusion that was swimming through her head was too hard to handle, and she literally had no one to talk to. Hell, what if Angelica didn’t like women? That hadn’t even occurred to her before now, which was a tragedy in and of itself.Except… that would make sense for Angelica. She’d avoided Hope’s questions about a husband and boyfriend several times already, not stating a gender or a sex for a past partner ever.

Was Angelica a lesbian?

Hope pressed her fingers over her lips, the ghost of that horrible kiss still lingering on them. It hadn’t even been a good kiss. She’d done nothing but allow her body to think for her, following her gut instincts and arriving exactly where she was.

Confused.

Lost.

Guilty.

Hope slipped from the bed, the mattress dipping from her weight. She looked over her shoulder at Rex’s still-sleeping form and walked barefoot as quietly as possible toward the bathroom. The water was hot as it sluiced across her skin, easing the tightened muscles and knots that she didn’t even know she had.

It was just a kiss, and barely even that. Angelica hadn’t kissed her back. Hope hadn’t pushed for more. This was probably something she could just file away under mistakes and stupid decisions and never think about again, right?

“You’re up early,” Rex’s voice echoed through the small bathroom.

Hope jumped. She guiltily looked over her shoulder as he stepped into the shower with her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her cheek.

“I had trouble sleeping,” she said quietly.

Rex hummed and kissed her again. “That’ll make for a long day, not that it wasn’t going to be one already.”

“What do you mean?” Hope frowned, turning around to step under the water and wet her hair. For some reason, she didn’t want him all up against her. Not this morning. Not when she’d been spinning in so many thoughts and deeds and whatever the hell it all meant.

Rex sighed, his hands barely leaving Hope’s waist except when she reached for the shampoo. “I think the Ice Fairy needs a new nickname after yesterday. Fairy gives off a totally different image than the shit that she pulled.”

Hope wouldn’t disagree with that one. But she also wasn’t going to comment on it. Not today. And definitely not after last night. Because there was way more going on under the surface of Angelica Shields than anyone seemed to be aware of. They all just seemed to gloss over that. They were too focused on the fact that she was such a bitch as a boss and maybe as a person.

But would they really think that if she was a man?

Hope shook that thought. She needed to stop thinking about Angelica and focus on Rex, the man right in front of her, the man she was in love with, the father of her child. Her lips quirked up. Maybe she did still love him. Maybe what had happened with Angelica hadn’t changed any of that.

Breathing out that thought, manifesting it into the world, Hope leaned in to kiss Rex. She really wished she had someone to talk this through with, someone who could hear her instead of seeing all the wrong things she’d already done. But she didn’t have anyone she could confess this to, at least not yet. Not until she’d figured it out a bit more.

“I need to get ready,” she murmured after rinsing the conditioner out of her hair. She left Rex in the shower as she wrapped herself in the not-very-soft towels that the hotel provided. The advantage to being on set that day was she didn’t have to do anything with her hair, and they would make her look so much better than if she’d tried to tame her wild mane anyway.

She was dressed and out of the room before Rex was dressed. He could handle Eva that morning. Hope wasn’t sure that she could manage to look at Eva and not feel guilty for what she’d done the night before. She’d have to work on that. But she wasn’tgoing to wreck their home or their family just because she’d done something irrationally impulsive.

Maybe she should talk to Angelica before their day started, set things right. Who knew, maybe Angelica would have some insight as to what had happened. She stared at her phone, debating on making that phone call, because she sure as hell wasn’t going to knock on Angelica’s door and talk to her there.

But Angelica was notorious for always being early, so she was probably downstairs with the makeup artists already. Scratching the thought, Hope headed straight for the elevator and hit the button to head downstairs a little harder than she needed to.

Damn it.

She really needed to find her calm and easy-going personality again, because this spiral she’d been thrown into was nearly too much for her to handle. The elevator door opened, and she slipped inside, leaning against the back wall as she waited for the doors to close. As they slid shut, Angelica stuck her hand in them to push them back open.

Hope held her breath.