Page 59 of Crying Shame

She shook her head. “I think you’re putting too much stock in that right now.”

Maybe. Levity wasn’t natural for me, even if I trusted myself with her. “Well, if you and I had still been together, I wouldn't have gone out into the desert or bought that camel.”

She stirred her tea. “Where is the camel now?”

“Retired and living his best life in a vacation home,” I quipped.

“You bought it for him?”

“That camel saved my life. It seemed the right thing to do, the same way I want to do right by you.”

She sighed. “Sounds like you, but shall we get back to work?”

“We do have an hour for lunch.”

Then we would quit working, and she would run out of excuses to talk to me. I had plenty of time to win her over entirely.

25

Elon

Dinner was a simple affair, with no interruptions. Sam told us about school, and after initially denying he needed a tutor, admitted he could use extra help in some subjects. His teacher had sent a note detailing Sam's weaknesses. Sam then asked for permission to join a youth football team as practices started next week.

He definitely had some of his mother in him. She’d been pretty shy in the past about expressing what she wanted and had always let me pick what we were going to do.

So I liked that Sam spoke up for himself. I understood silence wasn’t always good.

I needed Clarissa to talk to me about the important things.

After dinner, Sam went upstairs, showered, and crawled under his blankets.

Clarissa and I showered in our separate bathrooms, but I hoped to speak to Clarissa alone. So I tugged on the cotton pants and T-shirt I wore as nightclothes and headed out of my room.

No one was in the hall. I opened Sam’s door to say good night, but he was already asleep. I went into his room, checked that he was under the covers, and brushed his hair back from his face.

Somehow, he was the best thing I’d done in my life, and I’d not even known about him until recently. He was better than earning degrees and opening my business and expanding it.

I felt somebody place a hand on my shoulder. Clarissa was behind me, and desire washed through me. She was in a silky black robe with a matching nightgown underneath.

My heart pounded as she whispered in my ear, “I’m surprised you're here.”

I stood. “Sam put himself to sleep.”

She took my hand. “He usually does.”

She led me out of Sam's bedroom into the hall.

“I’m hoping that means he’s getting used to the new schedule,” I said.

She pointed downstairs. My heart sped up. Talking with her was the first step. I needed to figure out what to do. Desire rushed through me, but part of me thought I needed to keep everything in check.

When we were downstairs, we walked to the bar.

“I think Sam’s still in the dream state where he feels safe and secure in a big house,” Clarissa said.

I didn’t need my son living in fear of anything. I took out glasses, a bottle of wine, and a corkscrew. “It’s not a dream. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you or Sam.”

She watched as I poured wine into the glasses. “You might get bored with me.”