Page 91 of Crushed Vow

My chest trembled.

“You were my brother!” I sobbed. “My only brother—God, Vincent, I loved you. I waited for you. Every fucking night at Grandfather’s house.”

I sobbed

“I used to count the stars and pretend one of them was you coming back for me.” My voice cracked, shriveling into something smaller. “But you hurt me.”

I dragged in a breath that burned on the way down.

“You fucking hurt me.”

Then louder—sharper—splintered with rage:

“You are no longer my brother. From this moment on, stay the hell away from me!”

My hands were shaking so hard I almost dropped the knife. But I didn’t.

I clenched it tighter.

My chest caved. My mind split. And the pain—God, the pain wouldn’t leave.

So I turned it on myself.

I plunged the blade into my thigh. A scream tore through my throat.

But the pain—it helped. It made everything else quieter.

I didn’t stop.

Another stab. This time, my side.

Blood soaked through the cotton of my dress, hot and fast. My vision blurred.

But I didn’t care. I couldn’t stop.

“I HATE YOU!” I howled, stabbing again. My hands were slick, the knife slipping, but I caught it, gripped it harder, drove it into my leg.

“I HATE YOU! I HATE ME! I HATE THIS FUCKING WORLD! I HATE THIS BODY!”

The room was smeared with red. My blood. My shame. My fury.

I could barely see myself anymore.

Then—the door burst open.

I didn’t look.

I kept stabbing.

“I hate you!” I screamed as blood coated my palms, my arms, the floor. “I’m not a woman anymore! I’m just meat! A sick joke of a girl! Why didn’t the cancer kill me when it had the chance?!”

A hand grabbed me from behind, strong and urgent, dragging me away from the knife. I screamed, thrashed, tried to claw my way back toward it.

“Stop! STOP—please, Charlotte—”

It was Cassian’s voice. Desperate and frantic.

But I thrashed like a wild animal, sobbing, screaming, clawing.