Page 14 of Cruel Vampire King (Honeyblood Vampires #1)

An infection set in overnight.

In the morning, we started to move again. My stomach wouldn’t settle, and I couldn’t eat any of the nasty tubers Ysara had spent so long preparing. She didn’t press me and took my portion for herself. Which was just as well. No use in letting it go bad.

“Mmmm,” Thessa groaned. Her eyes slowly pried open. “Mama?”

My heart jumped and squeezed at the same time. “Let’s put her down.”

We set her down. Thessa started to stir but cried out in pain. I quickly leaned over her, pinning her in place gently.

“Easy,” I cautioned. “Try not to move.”

Thessa blinked, her expression pinched. “Thirsty.”

I pulled out the waterskin and dripped some water into her mouth, careful not to give her too much. She licked her lips and groaned. “It’s too hot. Can’t we cool down?”’

But even as she said it, she shivered. Kael knelt on her other side and touched her cheek. She was flushed, her hairline damp with sweat. I stared hard at Kael, and he sighed.

“She’s got a fever. What do we need to fight it?” He looked up at me.

I shook my head. Even though this was part of my training, I hadn’t memorized much beyond immediate concerns. Yarrow to stop bleeding. Willow bark for pain management. Why had I been so stupid? It seemed that every turn just showed something else I was woefully unprepared for.

“I know something about the forest. If we can get the right herbs, I might be able to make a poultice,” Kael said. “Aspen bark, honeysuckle, raspberry leaves. It’ll be a good idea to find more water so we can clean out that wound again. Ysara, I need someone to watch my back.”

She nodded once, and they slipped off into the forest together. Part of me wanted to ask Kael how he knew about healing herbs now but seemingly hadn’t yesterday, but I was too grateful he was actually doing something this time. I dripped some more water into Thessa’s mouth and looked up at Greyson.

“Will you—” I started.

“I’m going to look for water,” he said, spinning on his heel. Then he stopped, took a deep breath, and looked back at us. “And if I spy any beehives along the way, I’ll get honey. It might help fight the infection.”

I nodded gratefully at him. He smiled, his dark eyes warming, before disappearing into the forest again.

“Elara?” Thessa’s large eyes were on my face as Greyson left. “How bad is it?”

I took her hand and squeezed it lightly. “You’re going to make it, Thessa. I promise.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

I hesitated but only smiled at her. Now would be the perfect time for me to ask her why she had Darcie’s necklace. I should ask. But I found I couldn’t—it felt too much like giving up on her, like if I asked now, it meant Thessa was doomed for death.

The wait was excruciating.

Kael returned first, bringing handfuls of herbs and a pocketful of rocks. “We’re going to need to make a tea. If you build a fire, I’ll prepare a bark bowl to heat the water in. Gods know this would be easier if we had a frying pan. But I suppose this is the hand that we’ve been dealt.”

I gathered what we needed for a fire and set about trying to coax a flame into existence. By this time, Thessa had fallen asleep again. She kept shivering. I was reminded of the months I’d spent in the nunnery, always in pain and fighting off the fevers and infections. It was a miracle I’d survived, the nuns said so often.

Why hadn’t Luken sent for me again? He had to have seen what I offered…

“You’re going to win in the colosseum,” Kael said suddenly. He was preparing the herbs, carefully processing them. “We all know it. You’re going to win one way or another. It might be better if…”

Smoke started to rise from my little bundle of tinder. I blew gently on it, trying to ignore Kael’s words.

“If I killed her now, it would end her suffering. Then, the vampires would kill me as soon as we reach the colosseum. And it’ll be easier on you,” Kael murmured.

I winced. “Why care about making it easier on me?”

Kael shrugged. “I really don’t have anything I’m fighting for, other than my life. You are. As soon as I was selected for the Trials, I knew I was going to die. And living in fear is getting tiring.”

The fire licked up the tinder, taking hold. I fed it a few twigs to keep it alive. For several minutes, neither of us spoke. I almost thought that Kael was asking permission. But was it permission to give up, or permission to keep fighting?

“We don’t know that I’ll win,” I finally said. “And if I let you do that, who knows. Maybe I’d be punished for it. So no. You’re not giving up, Kael. I’m sorry but you’re going to have to keep fighting to stay alive.”

He snickered, nodded, and fell silent.

By the time I had a healthy fire going, Kael had gotten the bark bowl and herbs ready. We poured the rest of our water into it, and he started to heat the rocks in the fire. Ysara returned with a couple of rabbits that she dressed and cooked over the fire. Last to return was Greyson, though he came triumphant; he’d found a small creek from which we could get water.

“You go with him and refill the waterskins,” Ysara told me. “I’ve been running around enough while you’ve sat on your ass.”

Thessa was awake again. I glanced at her nervously, thinking about Kael’s words to me earlier. If I left now, would she be alive when I came back?

“Maybe you can find some berries?” Thessa suggested.

I forced a smile and nodded. Then I shot a warning look at Kael, but he only shook his head as he traded the fire-rocks for fresh ones, heating the tea some more. Greyson gestured for me to follow him, and I stumbled away. Funny how stiff I was. I hadn’t thought I’d been sitting for that long.

We got to the stream and filled the waterskins. I drank directly from the stream, filling my belly. As I straightened, Greyson stepped up behind me and rested his hands on my hips. I stiffened.

“I know you’re worried. I can help you, Elara. We can blow off some of this tension,” he suggested, his voice low. “It’s not just because you’re here, you know. You’re smart and a good fighter. You’ve got a lot of spunk, and I admire that. I won’t say that this desire is selfless. I want to distract myself, too. But that doesn’t mean my attraction to you isn’t real.”

“Greyson—”

He spun me around and pressed me into a tree. My heart jumped as I remembered Luken doing just this. Greyson’s dark eyes were eerily similar, dark with lust. But while Luken’s look had been intense, possessive, Greyson’s was… cold in comparison. As though Luken wanted me because he wanted me, but I could be replaced by another woman in Greyson’s eyes.

It was ridiculous. And I didn’t want to wish that it was Luken’s hand on my waist, rather than Greyson’s.

“Why should we deny ourselves the right to comfort, Elara?” he asked, leaning closer. “You keep talking about not wanting to be on the porn websites, but let’s be honest. You’re already on them. We all are. Vampires have no respect for our lives, our modesty, anything. Let me take away your worries, even if it’s only for a little while.”

I was quiet as I stared at him, trying to figure out why I didn’t feel the same way toward him as I did Luken. Greyson was undeniably attractive. He had treated me well and made his attraction plain. He had a likable quality to him, and never acted as though he was better than the rest of us. More than that, he’d offered me sympathy when I told him about my family. He didn’t act as though I owed myself to him.

It was natural for people to act on their urges in these situations. Why not embrace, as Greyson said, what comfort we could get?

The problem was, I didn’t want Greyson to fuck me.

Maybe I’d held onto my virginity too long. Perhaps I’d built it up in my head to something that was just too precious. Maybe it was because Greyson would fuck me. We wouldn’t have sex; it wouldn’t even be us fucking each other. It would just be him doing it.

On the other hand, if Luken had come into the forest to demand what was between Greyson and me before, maybe this was the best way to get his attention now.

“I… don’t know,” I said slowly, hesitating on the lie. Was it really fair to Greyson to lead him on? “I think if you really want it, you should ask Ysara.”

“I don’t want Ysara. I want you, Elara.” Greyson moved closer. The heat of his body was markedly different from the coolness of Luken.

I put my hand on his chest, bringing a stop. “Let me think about it. With everything else that’s happened, I don’t know if I can give you a proper answer right now.”

“Just say yes,” he urged. “What do you have to think about?”

He leaned forward to kiss me. I slipped out from under his arm and backed away, frowning at him.

“I told you I have to think. So just accept that, okay?” I snapped.

Greyson’s mouth twisted. “We don’t have much time. We’ll make it to the colosseum soon enough.”

“Don’t wait for me,” I told him. “If you need to be close to someone to feel comfort—”

“I already told you, I don’t want Ysara. What’s wrong with me? Why don’t you want me?” he demanded, his hands clenching into fists.

I didn’t answer. I turned and headed back the way we’d come, his question lingering in my mind. Why didn’t I want him? I wished I did. But I had a feeling that the reason was a pair of glowing amber eyes that wouldn’t leave me alone.