Page 13

Chapter

Thirteen

EVIE

I wake up in Dimitri’s arms.

It takes me a moment to realize where I am, and then I remember it all: killing Tatiana, my panic attack, Dimitri saving me once more.

He’s always saving me. I’m starting to feel like I don’t deserve him. After what I’ve done, I feel like a monster. I killed another human being. Yes, it was an accident, but I let Tatiana die. She’d tried to get me killed multiple times, but that still didn’t make what I did right.

I look over my shoulder and find Dimitri asleep. If it were possible, he somehow looks even more handsome while sleeping. That’s just not fair.

We shared something I’ve never shared with anyone else. I let him touch me. I let him bring me to release. I want it again, I realize. I can understand why so many women fell for Dimitri. He’s handsome, charming, and knows what he’s doing.

But I’m not just a random fling. I’m his wife. If we continue down this path, there will be no going back.

If I’m being honest, there already is no going back .

By killing Tatiana, I’ve firmly planted myself into Dimitri’s life. Now, I just need to carve out my own piece of it and figure out where I fit in.

Dimitri stirs awake, and I quickly shift away from him. While being in his arms feels magical, I’m not ready for more. I don’t deserve more after what I did.

“Hey,” he says, giving me that handsome smile of his that makes me weak in the knees.

“Hi.” I stare up at the ceiling, my hands clasped on my stomach.

“What are you doing way over there?” He tries touching me, but I pull away. “Evie?”

“I’m just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Tatiana.”

The easy-going smile slips from his face. “Right.” He clears his throat and rolls onto his back as well. The energy in the room has completely changed. Before it was relaxed, and now, it’s full of tension. “You don’t have to think about her, you know? I took care of it.”

I let out a rough breath. “It’s not about that, Dimitri. It’s the fact that I’m the one who …”

“Killed her?”

“Don’t say it like that.”

“Like what?”

“So … blasé.”

“But you did kill her. So, I’m not sure how else I’m supposed to say it.”

I turn away from him. Suddenly, I’m acutely aware of my dress again. My dress touching my thighs—the same thighs that Dimitri held as he gave me an orgasm. A heat settles into me. I push the thoughts away, though. I don’t deserve to be comforted. Not after what I did. “You’re used to this life. This … darkness. But I’m not. I’ve never done that before.”

He sighs, and I can feel him shift closer to me, but he doesn’t touch. “Evie, I get it. As I said yesterday. I used to have nightmares after my first kill, too. But then I got over it. I moved on. So will you.”

“How did you move on?”

“My father had me kill other people, and soon, it became second nature to me.” He pauses. “You know, I can see how that advice is not applicable to you. So, maybe forget what I just said.”

His cheery tone makes me smile a little. Of course, he can’t see it, and I don’t want him to see it. “I’m not about to go on a killing spree to become accustomed to killing.”

“I know.”

“So, how do I move on from this?” My hands clench into the bedsheet, my fingers turning white.

“Honestly?” His cheery tone is gone. “I’m not sure. Time, I guess. But I’m here, Evie. I’ll help you out.” He pauses then laughs more to himself. “I never thought I’d say those words. I was never one for helping anyone out. I used to make everything very self-serving. Hell, even marrying you was self-serving.”

“I thought you wanted to protect me from Dima.”

“We both know I just used that as an excuse to marry you.”

A shiver goes down my spine. At least he’s admitting it.

“I’m an asshole, Evie. I always have been. Hell, just ask my business partners. Nik tolerates me, but I tried to kill him at one point. Granted, he did the same to me. But now, we work together. That’s the beautiful thing: In the Bratva, you can hold onto grudges, or you can learn to let shit go. I generally never held onto anything. I never cared to. But now …”

Finally, I glance at him over my shoulder. “Now?”

His eyes have so much depth to them—when he wants them to, that is. “Now, I care about you. And I want to be here for you. Not just for myself.” He smiles. “Whoever would have thought it?”

“That’s because you’re not all bad. You’ve saved me more times than I can remember. You saved me again. With Tatiana.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want you to go to prison. Then who would I make blush every day?”

As if on cue, I blush .

“There it is.” He reaches out, gently touching my cheek, and I let myself lean into his touch.

“What are we going to do?” I whisper. “I can’t get her out of my head.”

His eyes light up. “I have an idea. Let’s get out of the city. I have a beach house by the coast. It could be fun. Maybe getting away from New York will help you heal.”

“By going to your beach house?” I shake my head. “Of course, you have a beach house.”

“You don’t?”

We both know I don’t.

Dimitri flashes me a teasing smile. “Come on. It’ll be fun. I could get out of the city, too. I’m getting fucking tired of Abram and Dima and all those shitheads. I could use a break.”

A break sounds exactly what I need right now.

So, I slowly smile back and say, “Let’s do it.”

“You?” Katya says to Dimitri. “You’re actually going to leave this city and your club? I’m amazed.”

“Good thing you’re coming with,” Dimitri replies. “I’m not leaving you here by yourself. It’s too dangerous.”

“Then it’s a good thing I love the beach, too.” Katya throws her arm around me. “Bikinis and cocktails. Sign me up.”

It’s a several hour drive to the Ivanov beach house. Katya regales me with stories about going to the beach as a family on the drive.

“Dad hated the sand,” she says from the backseat. “He would never join us. It was usually just us and Mom on the beach, playing around.”

“I remember,” Dimitri says, smiling fondly. I like seeing that sort of smile on him. It’s not meant to seduce a woman. It’s just genuine. “You would build sand castles, and I would work on my tan.” He slants his eyes at me. “I look good with a tan.”

Katya rolls her eyes. “You were never any fun. I always wanted to play, and you would just ignore me. ”

“That’s called being a big brother. We’re obligated to ignore our annoying baby sisters.”

“Well, it’s good thing I have Evie with me this time. I won’t be so bored.”

I turn around in my seat to look at her. “What did you have in mind?”

“We could go for a swim or go shopping. There’s a cute little shopping center near the house. Or …” She trails off. “I mean, really that’s it. I’m looking forward to just relaxing.”

“You always relax,” Dimitri comments. “You don’t do hard labor.”

She stretches out on the backseat. “Why do I need to do hard labor when I have you to do it for me?”

I marvel at the fun sibling rivalry between Katya and Dimitri. As a single child, I never experienced that growing up. It makes me feel like I could have a home here.

Tatiana’s dead face flashes in my mind, and I suck in a breath and turn to look out the window. The passing scenery is beautiful, but it doesn’t help remove Tatiana from my thoughts. She’s wedged into my brain, and I don’t think she’s going anywhere any time soon.

Without a word, Dimitri places his hand on my knee and just holds it there. I don’t push it away. Instead, I lean in closer to his touch.

“I’ve never been to the beach before,” I say, trying to force Tatiana from my mind.

“What?” Katya exclaims from the backseat. “You never told me that.”

“Never seemed important before.”

“How come?” Dimitri asks.

“My dad never had the money or time to take off work. But he would make sure we did fun things together. Going to Central Park was a common thing for us.”

“You miss your dad?”

“I miss him every day,” I respond, feeling the tears sting my eyes.

“Our dad was an asshole,” Dimitri admits. “Don’t miss him at all.”

“I sometimes miss him,” Katya says. “He wasn’t mean to me. Only you. ”

“Guess that’s why I don’t miss him.”

I place my hand over Dimitri’s hand on my knee. “That must be sad. To not even miss your own dad.”

He shrugs. “It’s my way of life. You get used to disappointments.” He turns his charming grin onto me. “But you, Evie, are not a disappointment. You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a while.”

I try not to let my heart flutter at his words, but my heart flutters anyway.

The beach house isn’t really a house.

It’s a mansion on a cliff, overlooking the ocean. Nothing but the best for the Ivanovs.

“I’m going for a swim,” Katya announces, stripping off her dress.

“Woah, jeez,” Dimitri mutters, covering his eyes. “Brother present.”

She rolls her eyes. “I have a bikini on, asshole.” It’s blue and skimpy and looks perfect on her.

He drops his hand. “Whew. You had me scared there for a second. And you’re not going to the beach alone. We’re coming with.” He turns to me. “Do you have a bikini on underneath your dress?”

“Sorry to disappoint you. But I’ll go change.” I grab my suitcase and head into the bathroom.

The moment I step into the bathroom, memories of Tatiana hit me all over again. I stumble and lean against the counter. There’s blood on the floor.

I gasp and back away, only to realize there’s nothing there.

It’s all in my mind.

A knock on the door makes me scream. “Evie?”

It’s just Dimitri.

“Are you all right in there?”

I could tell him I’m fine, but I’m not. Whether I want to admit it or not, I know I want Dimitri in here with me .

Before I lose my nerve, I open the door, and he’s standing there in all his handsome glory.

“You’re not changed,” he says, his eyes sweeping over me.

“I’m …” I gasp and start to panic. Dimitri pulls me into his arms without a second thought.

“You need help.” It’s not a question. “Get naked for me, Evie.”

I tense slightly. “What?”

“Get naked for me.” He lets me go and steps back, shutting the bathroom door. “Get naked for me.”

“I …”

“Don’t hesitate. Just do it.”

His smooth voice filters over me, and instantly, I feel safer. My hands have a mind of their own as I slip my dress off my shoulders. It pools around my feet.

“Bra and panties, too.”

I know what he’s doing. He’s trying to help stop me from panicking. It’s working, but now, I’m a little nervous over Dimitri seeing my complete naked body for the first time.

He doesn’t say a word, only leans against the wall with a little smile on his lips.

Taking in a deep breath, I slide my bra down my arms and toss it to the floor. His eyes take in my breasts. I’ve never given much thought to them before, but given how Dimitri is looking at them, you’d think he was seeing the eighth wonder of the world.

“Those, too,” he says gruffly, nodding at my underwear.

I swallow hard then do as he says. The cool air in the bathroom hits my backside. My underwear settles around my feet. There’s no going back now.

Neither of us says a word. I’m acutely aware of his fully clothed body and my naked one. A familiar arousal settles between my legs. I want him to touch me again.

I don’t just want it. I crave it.

Dimitri steps closer to me but still doesn’t touch me. I hold still. His eyes dominate into mine, and all I can see is him .

His hands reach out toward me, and I’m ready. I’m ready for him to touch me all over again.

But his hands don’t touch me. He reaches behind me, grabs my suitcase, and pulls out my swimsuit. “You should put this on.”

“Do you want me to put it on?”

“Fuck no,” he breathes out. “I want you naked every day.”

“But?”

He sighs. “But Katya is out there waiting for us, and I don’t want her to interrupt what we’re doing in here. Besides, I think going for a swim will help clear your head.” He leans in closer to me. “But trust me, Evie, it’s taking everything in me not to eat you out right this moment.”

I gasp as my face flushes.

He throws me a wink then leaves the bathroom. I squeeze my swimsuit tightly between my hands before I put it on and join him and Katya.

The water is cold enough to get me out of my head.

There’s only one problem—I don’t know how to swim.

“That’s ok,” Dimitri says, looking handsome in nothing but his swim trunks. “I’ll just make sure you don’t drown.” He wraps me into his arms and lifts me up. Katya rolls her eyes and gives us some space as she swims deeper into the ocean.

“Dimitri.” I laugh as he swings me around.

“I love hearing you laugh. It’s so sexy.”

I avert my gaze, feeling suddenly shy. “No one’s ever found me sexy before.”

“That you know of. Katya told me you tended to keep to yourself. Did you ever try to date?”

“Not really. I was a teenager when my dad died, and afterward … I didn’t want anything to do with that. It was too much at the time.”

“But now?” His arms tighten around me.

“Now …” My eyes are firmly planted to his chest. The sight of it ma kes me lightheaded. “Now, I feel more alive than I ever have before.”

He places his fingers under my chin and lifts my gaze to his. “You don’t have to be shy with me. I want you, Evie. I haven’t shied away from that.”

I want you, too . The words are on the tip of my tongue.

And then I hear the laughter.

“Oh my god. That’s the bitch who stole Tatiana’s man.”

I rip away from Dimitri and look back to the beach where two women stand, looking like models in their bikinis. I don’t know who they are, but they seem to know me.

They know Tatiana.

Knew Tatiana.

“I don’t know them,” I whisper to Dimitri.

He lets out a low growl. “They’re Tatiana’s friends. I’ve seen them around the club before.” He plasters on his most charming smile and walks out of the ocean to greet them. “Anna,” he says to the blonde then nods at the brunette. “Ana.”

“You’re both named Anna?” I ask.

The blonde one rolls her eyes. “I’m Anna with two ‘ns.’”

“And I’m Ana with one ‘n,’” the brunette adds.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t met you before.”

Dimitri throws his arm around my shoulders. “What can we help you girls with today?”

Both of their eyes zero in on Dimitri’s arm and my shoulders. I’m not normally a petty person, but right now, it feels kind of good that Dimitri is marking his claim onto me.

“Tatiana’s missing,” Anna says. “Did you know that?”

I tense, but Dimitri doesn’t miss a beat. “Nope. Seeing as Tatiana and I are not married, she’s not my priority.”

“You’re not worried?” Ana asks. “She’s been gone for over a day now.”

“You sound judgy.”

“Of course, we are!” Anna exclaims. “You’re her man, and you’re out here fraternizing with another woman. ”

“Tatiana was never mine, and I was never hers. We fucked. Once. Now, why don’t you girls go cry to your daddies.”

“We can’t,” Ana says. “They’re both dead.”

“I’m sorry,” I say instinctually.

They pierce me into place with their eyes. “They were murdered,” Anna says. “And we think we know who.” The look she gives Dimitri says it all.

“Who were your dads?” I ask.

“Boris Smirnov,” Anna says.

“And Arthur Toropov,” Ana adds.

The men who tried to rape me. Abram’s men. Of course, they would be the daughters of them.

Everything begins to enclose in on me. The ocean suddenly feels suffocating. Coming here was meant to help me move on.

But I can’t escape what I’ve done. I’ll never be able to escape it.

I bend over, sucking in breath after breath.

“What’s her problem?” Anna mutters.

Ana laughs—the sound is grating to my ears. “Who cares? She’s a dumb whore who stole Dimitri right out from under Tatiana.”

“You two need to shut the fuck up,” Dimitri hisses at them. They actually step back, shock in their eyes. I guess most people don’t speak to them this way.

“Evie?” Dimitri asks, bending down toward me. “Evie.”

“She’s mental,” Ana says, flicking her brown hair over her shoulder.

“What do you even see in her?” Anna asks.

All I can see are my toes and the sand covering them. It doesn’t do anything to wash out my memory of killing Tatiana.

“What’s going on here?” Katya demands, getting out of the water. “What are you bitches doing here?”

Anna gasps. “What did you call us?”

“You think you’re so invincible because Dimitri is your brother,” Ana says, “but you’re nothing, Katya. Tatiana always thought you were cheap, and we think that, too.”

“Enough!” Dimitri shouts, making them jerk back. “You two need to leave. I already killed your fathers. Nothing is stopping me from killing you, too.”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Anna says, tossing her blonde hair back.

“Don’t test me. I’ve never killed a woman before, but I just might make an exception for you two.”

“We haven’t done anything wrong,” Ana exclaims.

“You’re getting on my fucking nerves, so yes, I think you’re doing something wrong. So, leave .”

Both women huff like they’re the put-out ones before they walk away.

“Bitches,” Katya mutters.

“Evie?” Dimitri asks, bending down toward me. “Come on. Stand up.”

Sucking in a breath, I do as he says. “I’m sorry. I just …”

“I know.”

“They don’t know, Dimitri. They don’t know Tatiana is dead.”

“And they’re not going to know. My cleanup crew does a good job of getting rid of bodies. She’ll never be found.”

“How can you be so sure? Did you see them dispose of her body yourself?” It’s surreal to even be asking that.

“No,” he admits. “But they’ve been working for me for a long time. They know what they’re doing.” He squeezes my arm. “You don’t have to worry. And don’t let those mean girls get to you. Tatiana never meant anything to me.”

And yet you slept with her .

Will Dimitri want nothing to do with me once we sleep together? If we even ever do.

I pull away from him slightly and watch as his eyes tighten. “I think I want to go back inside. I’m feeling tired all of a sudden.”

“It was a long drive,” Katya offers.

But we all know it’s not the drive tiring me out .

AbrAM

My Tatiana is dead, and I know Dimitri is responsible. I’m not sure how he did it, but who else would have done it?

No more games. No more trying to ruin Dimitri’s reputation. I just need to kill the fucking bastard.

I take my guys and head to his mansion. No one answers when I knock. I send my men around the house to check if anyone is there, but no one is.

Fine. I may not be able to kill him right at this moment, but I can leave a message.

I grab the lighter fluid from the trunk of my car and spray it everywhere. I manage to get the front door open and spill the fluid all over the floor in the living room, the kitchen, the bedrooms.

I don’t leave anything dry.

Then I go back outside and take out my lighter and toss it toward the house.

Within seconds, the house lights up in flames.

Good. At least Dimitri won’t have a home to return to. He’s going to understand what it means to mess with me.

He never should’ve gotten into bed with my Tatiana in the first place.

That was his downfall.

And I’m going to drag him all the way to hell.

I drive away as his house explodes, leaving a smoke trail behind.

DIMITRI

I knock on the door to Evie’s bedroom. Well, it’s also mine, but I don’t barge in. I know she was hurting after Anna and Ana made their presence known. I know Tatiana is still haunting her.

“Evie?”

No response.

Worried that she might be dead, I open the door and rush inside only to stop when I see she’s curled into a ball, crying to herself .

“Evie,” I say softly. Without needing her to ask me, I pull her into my arms, and we lie on the bed together. It’s not a sexual moment. Honestly, I’m not sure I’ve ever held a woman non-sexually before, Katya not counting. Evie is the first for me in that regard.

I guess we have that in common.

“Dimitri, how can I fully trust you?” she whispers.

Her words cut me right to the core. “What do you mean?”

“How do I know you won’t just use me like you did Tatiana?”

I pull away from her. “How can you ask me that?”

“It’s a valid question.” She wipes at her tears and sits up. “How do I know I can trust you?”

On the tip of my tongue are fighting words. I don’t stand for people doubting me.

But then I think about it. Evie has a valid point after how I treated Tatiana. The truth is—Tatiana never meant anything to me, and I didn’t care.

But Evie isn’t Tatiana.

“Only time will tell,” I answer. “You know that. You have to just choose to trust me. But I’ll tell you this, Evie. You make me feel more than I have in years. You make me care more than I ever have before.”

She thinks on it for a while then nods. “Ok.”

“Ok?”

“Ok. You’re right. I just have to choose to trust you. It’s so hard, though, with Tatiana in my mind. I thought coming here would help, but it hasn’t. And now, knowing her friends are here, it’s all too much.”

“So, then let’s go back home.”

“We just got here, though.”

I shrug. “So? I’m a man of spontaneity. If you want to return to the city, then let’s go back. I have to deal with Abram anyway. I can’t ignore him forever.”

Quickly, she hugs me and then lets me go. It doesn’t last longer than a couple of seconds. “Thank you, Dimitri.”

Seeing the softness in her eyes as she looks down at me gives me all the encouragement I need to grab her face and kiss her deeply.