Page 9 of Cruel As A Tree (Chaos God Sugar and Spice Companion Shorts #4)

"Yes," he agreed. "I am courting you so you will become my mate."

"What if I choose not to?" I asked. "What if I choose to be with someone else?"

"Then I will kill him," Lorthian said in the same pleasant tone.

I blinked.

I opened my mouth then closed it, struggling to find words in response to that. As my brain short-circuited, the roots retracted from Lorthian's wrists, and he sat up to face me, putting one arm over my knees so he could lean in closer to me.

"I will eliminate any who dream of trying to steal you away," Lorthian said, his tone more earnest. "I will protect you and all you hold dear until my last leaf falls."

He leaned in closer, and I put my hand on his chest.

"You just met me," I said.

"Yes," he agreed.

"You can't be threatening to murder people you don't know just because they might show interest in me in the future," I said.

He tilted his head to the side, one of his ears flicking.

"You will be mine and mine alone," he said. "No other may have you."

"I'm not..." I said, feeling uncomfortable with what I needed to say. "You know I'm not a virgin, right? I've already been with someone else."

"Whoever he was, he failed to court you and claim you as his mate," Lorthian said. "He is of no consequence or worth."

"Listen, Forest Lord, my ex failed to court me because he didn't actually like me; he just saw me as someone he could use," I said.

"You don't know if you actually like me.

We've spent one day together, and sexual chemistry doesn't mean emotional or mental compatibility.

We need to spend more time together to know if we actually want to commit. "

"Time is of no matter," Lorthian said.

"It matters to me," I said. "Lots of things matter to me."

"Tell me what matters to you," he said, his tone intent.

That was quite a question.

"My family, friends, learning new things, eating good food, listening to music, laughing, learning new ways to move my body, I don't know, there are so many things," I said.

"I don't even know all the things that matter because I've only lived a small portion of my life.

Are the same things that matter to me now going to matter to me when I'm old and grey? "

"You will never be old and grey unless you wish to appear that way," Lorthian said.

"Hold up," I said. "What?"

"As my mate, we will live as long as our forest lives, spending mundane lifetimes learning every detail about what might matter to you in the future," he said.

"I'll have to watch my family grow old and die without me?" I asked, thinking of Anne. What a horror that would be, to stay young forever and know that everyone I ever loved would die while I lived on with nothing but their memories.

"You will be able to make them a part of your forest if they so wish," he said. "That is what you requested when you asked for life within the forest."

"Oh," I said.

"I could not give that to you," he continued. "Because you are mine. Not mine to consume or sustain, but mine to partner with, to grow with. Breeding you will bring new life to our forest and cause a great expansion, far more than I could do on my own."

"Breeding..." I said, knowing my eyes were as wide as they could go.

The word was accompanied by a flash of intense longing so sharp it took my breath away, forcing my mind back to the aching part of my heart that knew loss like no other.

It was that never-ending pain that drove me to risk my life going over the wall in the first place, that excruciating need to get back.

I had to get back.

"Yes," he said, his voice dropping lower, taking on an animalistic growl as he leaned his chest into my palm, pushing it back as his face drew closer to mine, forcing all of my attention back to his undeniable presence.

I leaned back, untucking my legs from under me to scoot back, but his arm had snaked behind me, lifting up as he continued to press forward towards me.

I felt the soft moss under my back as he laid me down in it, my mind whirling round and round.

I wanted this, I wanted to get away, I wanted to touch him, I wanted to go home.

His hand was on my thigh, sliding up under my skirt, leaving trails of fire.

His hand found my underwear, and his finger slid along my crease, pressing the fabric against me as he stroked in time with his words that he enunciated like they were delicious bites.

"Filling you with my seed. Tasting your pleasure. Mounting you. Fucking you."

I couldn't stop the moan from slipping from my lips as I lifted my hips into his touch.

His knee was between mine, pushing one of my legs to the side.

His fingers found the top edge of my underwear, and he slipped his hand inside, sliding his fingers through my hair and my wet folds, desperate desire causing me to clench and writhe with the need to have him inside me, on top of me, taking me.

My hands were still on his chest. I was still pushing him away even as I rocked my hips into his touch.

"Wait," I gasped out.

"But you need me," he growled.

His hand stilled its movement, and it took every bit of my willpower not to rub myself against his touch.

"Courtship requires patience," I said, my words breathy in the soft air of the forest as I sought an escape that wasn't a rejection.

He withdrew his hand from my underwear, lifting it up to his mouth as he took in a deep breath, his eyes closing as he licked the glistening wetness off his fingers. "Delicious," he growled.

I let out a small whimper and his eyes snapped open, pinning me to the ground with the intensity of his gaze.

"You need me inside you, filling you up until you claw at my back and scream your pleasure to the treetops," he said.

Oh, I did, but that didn't mean I could.

I couldn't just stay here with him and forget the person I was before, the life I had before. At the same time, there was something to be said about enjoying the present moment.

"Will I change if we do other stuff?" I asked.

"Other stuff?" he asked.

"Like licking instead of mounting," I said, my heartbeat loud in my ears. "Fingers."

"Mating requires, as you put it, time," he said, his eyes drifting down to my lips. "Repetition."

The burning heat coiled in me, and I licked my lips, wanting more but also not ready for all of it.

I didn't know this man on top of me. I desperately wanted to wrap my legs around him and take him into me, that was for certain, but my lust didn't mean I was going to completely ignore the fact that this was not a normal situation.

His intentions towards me were clear, but how he pursued them changed, and I'd already thrown caution to the wind with my words and reactions.

I knew what I wanted, I knew what he wanted. The problem was finding the way to the compromise that didn't end up with him inside me until I was certain.

I couldn't just lie here and let him do what he wanted.

I had to take control.

I reached up, threading my fingers through the silky strands of his green hair until I found the base of his horns.

I wrapped my hands around them. He sucked in a sharp breath, biting the edge of his lip with the point of one of his elongated canines.

I pulled on his horns as I lifted his hips, dragging his face down towards my hips.

He let out a low growl as a ripple of fur rolled over his shoulders, like a cape built from animalistic passions.

"I will allow you just a taste, my lord," I said, the words leaving my mouth so breathless it sounded like a whisper instead of a command.

He stalked down my body, his breath hot against my skin as he settled his upper body in between my legs, lifting my legs to drape them over his broad shoulders.

I could feel the fur touching the back of my calves slip away, leaving behind warm bare skin as he shifted again, his body rippling as the fur melted away.

It was a strange tickling sensation as if fingertips were trailing over my skin.

I watched the top of his head as he moved down, seeing his horns glimmer in the dappled sunlight as they curved away from my body.

The shade pattern of the leaves seemed to accent the strong musculature of his shoulders and back, painting an image of masculine strength that called to a primal part of me.

He was so beautiful.

For a moment I wondered what our children would look like.

That deep ache washed back over me, the driving force that caused me to climb the wall in the first place.

I let out a small gasp as the emotion hit so hard and sudden, I felt it physically in my chest, powered by my attempt to ignore it, to push it down, to focus on the present moment and not let my choices from the past haunt me even as I attempted to undo them.

I put my hand on my breastbone as if I could hold it in, closing my eyes as I winced against the feeling.

I couldn't think about that right now. I couldn't focus on that.

I was so lost in my own head, it took me several moments to realize that Lorthian had stopped touching me.

I opened my eyes to see him kneeling next to me.

In the moments where I was trying to push away my pain and aggressively focus on the moment he had unhooked my legs from his shoulders, extracted himself from between them, and moved so he was kneeling next to my hips and looking down at me with an expression that was.

.. curious? He didn't look angry or upset.

He just looked like he was waiting to see what I would do.

"You didn't have to stop," I said.

He lifted one eyebrow at me and didn't say anything.

Of course, he had to stop. I had gone from writhing and moaning under his touch to being tense and still and closing my eyes and wincing.

Any basically attentive person in that scenario would stop and check in with their partner to make sure that what was happening was still wanted, even if what they were doing was fully focused on giving rather than receiving or taking.

"I..." I felt tears prick in my eyes, little sharp stings of lubrication that would betray the fact that my sadness and gratitude were colliding to make a maelstrom of emotions. "I don't want..."

"What do you want?" Lorthian asked, his voice whispering through leaves of the trees around us.

I put my hands on the moss on either side of me and pushed myself up to sitting so I was facing him.

The words burst free of me, tearing through the layers I had built up around them to protect myself from the consequences of choices I made thinking it was what I had to do to give her a better life.

"I want my baby," I cried out.