Page 9 of Crow’s Haven (Savage Legion MC #15)
I nod, knowing what she means. It feels like a big shift for Scout and his messy feelings.
We head back to the kitchen in comfortable silence. The toys are still scattered across the living room, dishes stacked from dinner. It’s a mess, but it’s a lived-in kind of mess, not one built up from not cleaning for ages.
We clean side by side, unhurried. I wash while she dries. Our shoulders bump sometimes—might be on accident, might not. We keep the conversation light.
“You good?” I ask as we finish up. “Are you sure this isn’t too much for you?”
She shakes her head. “God no. I’m used to hard work.”
“Chase is already a goner for you,” I say. “You had him wrapped around your finger before we left the grocery store.”
“He’s easy,” she says with a small smile. “Scout’s a different beast.”
“He takes time to get to know. Trust isn’t automatic with him.”
She nods. “I don’t mind earning it. I just don’t want to mess it up. I need this job.”
“You won’t,” I assure her. “Just give it some time and keep doing what you’re doing with them. From what I can see, it’s perfect.”
She doesn’t answer right away. She just takes a minute to wipe down the last plate and sets it in the rack. Her hands pause there, fingers still. Then she says, without looking at me, “You laugh with them. You’re patient. Even when Scout’s being… Scout. You’re a good dad.”
“I’ve screwed up plenty,” I admit. “But I try my damnedest to be what they need.”
Her eyes meet mine. “You’re everything they could hope for in a parent.”
Her nice compliment hangs in the air between us.
It’s thick with emotion in a way I can’t put my finger on.
But it isn’t romantically charged in any way.
And I’m strangely disappointed by that. I’m trying to see her as a woman who needs my help, but I can’t ignore the fact that she is stirring up all kinds of feelings in me.
The house is still now. The boys are down for the count. Scout doesn’t even stir when I peek in to make sure he’s alright. Chase’s arm is flung over a stuffed dinosaur he’s been hugging since he went to bed.
I find Sharon in the kitchen, sitting sideways at the table, with one leg tucked under her. She’s got a mug of tea in her hands, and her hair’s down again, falling over one shoulder in loose waves.
“Mind if I join you?” I ask.
She glances up and smiles. “Please. It’s your house after all.”
I sit across from her with my own mug, coffee. I’ve reheated it twice already, but it’s still good. “Are you settling in okay?” I ask.
She smiles faintly. “Yeah. I’m still figuring out where the forks go and which one of your kids is more likely to start a food fight, but today went better than I expected.”
I chuckle. “My money’s always on Chase. He’s the one that’s always off the chain. Scout just acts like the foreman.”
She sets her tea down, wrapping both hands around the mug to warm her hands. “I wanted to ask… about Scout.”
“What about him?” I say, more sharply than I intend. I nod slowly.
She hesitates. “It’s just odd how he’s been saying this whole ‘stinking mommies’ thing. It’s cute in a weird, stubborn way, but it’s also coming from somewhere, and I’d like to know where.”
“It is,” I admit, rubbing the back of my neck. “He ain’t trying to be cruel. He’s just built up walls. Took me a long time to figure out where it came from.”
Sharon tilts her head. “Is it about their mom?”
“Yeah. She left when they were almost three months old.”
“But they wouldn’t have any memories of her at this age, right?”
“They don’t. For a long time, they didn’t realize they were missing a mom.
Then I started taking them to a local gym that had a rock wall.
The other kids’ moms were obsessed with protecting kids from falling off the rock wall.
They didn’t want my boys on the wall without a spotter.
I was right there, but they kept telling the boys to wait for their mother.
That pissed off Scout to the point that he started not liking women. ”
“Oh, wow, I can see that would be annoying.”
“Yeah, it was. When they were three. I think it was the first time he realized the other kids had mommies, but he didn’t.”
“Okay, I’m not sure I’m following you.”
“Chase wanted to know where his mommy was, and Scout told him we don’t need any stinking mommies. But Chase wouldn’t let it go.”
I let out a deep breath and continue. “So, I had to come up with an explanation that would appease a three-year-old. To be honest, I panicked and started rambling about butterflies.”
Her eyebrows lift. “A butterfly?”
I nod, feeling all kinds of embarrassed. “I told him that his mother was like a beautiful butterfly, who needed to be free to fly around and explore and that she was never coming back to us.”
Sharon doesn’t speak for a moment, just watches me, her eyes soft and unreadable. “What happened to her?” she asks gently.
“Their mom?” I take a deep breath and let the words come tumbling out of my mouth.
“She was someone I barely knew. A one-night stand, truth be told. We used protection, but nothing’s foolproof.
She called me six weeks later, pregnant and scared.
Said she was going to keep them, but when it got hard—when the boys came early and needed NICU time—she started slipping.
Postpartum hit hard, and the drinking started. Followed by pills, too.”
Sharon says nothing, but I see the empathy and understanding on her face.
Taking a deep breath, I push the rest of the story out.
“I tried to help her, but nothing worked, so I paid for a treatment program and took her there myself. Even after holding her hand through the whole admission process, she signed herself out two days later. Instead of coming for the boys, she kept disappearing. It got to the point that she was leaving the boys with neighbors, once with an actual fucking stranger. Still, she was my boys’ mother, so I had to try, for them, if not for her. ”
“It must have been harrowing not knowing where she was or if she was even safe.”
“I was. I had to hunt her down more than once. The last straw was finding her passed out in a damn motel.” I look away, the memory still twisting me up.
“That’s when she signed over custody. She didn’t even put up a fight.
I left the paperwork our club’s attorney made up.
I asked her to take ten days to think about what she really wanted and let her know I would support whatever decision she made.
The next day, she signed in and dropped it in the mail.
There was a note that said she was sorry and couldn’t be the mom right now.
Said she was too young and didn’t want to be tied down with twins. ”
Sharon’s eyes are shining now. She’s right about one damn thing. It was harrowing. She just reaches out and rests her hand over mine. “I’m sorry that happened to you. It turned what should have been the best moments of your life into the worst.”
“Yeah, you’re fucking right as rain about that. I kept thinking I could save her,” I admit. “But it got to a point where I had to choose between protecting her and protecting them.”
“You made the right choice,” she says, her voice reassuring.
“I know.” I rub my thumb along the side of her hand. “Doesn’t mean I don’t still second guess myself about what I could have done differently.”
“Don’t beat yourself up about things you can’t change.”
A short silence spins out between us as we each ponder the situation before I say, “My boys needed their mom, and I couldn’t save her from herself.”
“It wasn’t your job to fix her. It was her responsibility to step up and get help.” She pauses for a few seconds before adding, “I’m not trying to replace anyone. I just want you to know that.”
I jerk my head up hard and fast, and I find myself gaping at her.
“You’re not. And I wouldn’t expect you to try to fill a mother role for ‘em unless you wanted that yourself, so don’t feel pressured.
” I realize my words might come out a bit harsh, so I add.
“I mean, you’d be an awesome mom, and me and the boys would be lucky to have someone like you in our lives and—” I stop myself.
“Okay, before I have you running for the hills I’ll shut up.
You’re easy on the eye, but that’s not why I gave you the job. I meant what I said about no strings.”
She grins at me, “You’re kinda easy on the eye too.”