Page 82 of Crew

Mallory blinked. “Levi Sexton?”

A small, dry laugh escaped me. “Yeah.”

Her mouth opened, then closed. “You two were always around each other. I figured if anything, you just liked competing with him.”

“We were friends,” I said. “Rivals too, sure, but there was more under the surface for me. I didn’t understand it then, not fully. But it was there.”

Her voice dropped. “I had no idea.”

“I know.” I leaned back, running a hand through my hair. “It wasn’t something I was trying to hide from you. I didn’t even let myself say it in my own head because it was Harvest Ridge and you know how that town is.”

Mallory was still staring at me, not with judgment, just surprise. “I do, but I always thought I knew you better than anyone.”

“You did.”

A beat passed before she asked, “You ever think about how different it all could’ve been?”

“Sometimes.” I looked at her. “If you had told me you were pregnant, we probably would’ve stayed together. I would’ve tried to balance it all. You and Grady. The team. Everything.”

“That’s what I was afraid of.”

I frowned slightly. “What do you mean?”

“I was afraid you’d try to do everything and lose yourself in it. Or worse, walk away from baseball altogether. Maybe not right away, but eventually.”

“I would’ve done what I had to.”

“I know.” Her voice dropped to almost a whisper. “That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“I would’ve loved you. And I would’ve loved him.”

“I never doubted that. We were twenty-one, Crew. And I couldn’t ask you to split yourself in half.”

“I think I would’ve tried to believe it was enough. Tried to convince myself I didn’t want anything else.”

Her gaze didn’t waver. “You would’ve tried. And maybe you would’ve made it work for a while. But you never would’ve stopped wondering what you gave up.”

We weren’t only talking about baseball anymore. “And I probably would’ve stayed hidden.”

Mallory let the silence stretch for a moment. “Are you going to come out? With Knox?”

“I want to. Eventually. Just not sure when.”

“What about your team?”

I hesitated. “They don’t know yet.”

“Do you want them to?”

“I do. Just hasn’t been the right time yet.”

She leaned back in the chair. “I’m glad you’re not pretending anymore. At least not with the people who matter.”

“Yeah.” I let out a breath. “Me too.”

“Well, I think I need a hot shower if you’re cool with waiting to leave until I get out?” Mallory got out of her seat.

“Wait.” I reached out my hand to stop her.