Page 17 of Creed (Satan’s Fury MC- Little Rock #6)
DEVIN
“ T ell me about them.”
I wasn’t sure who he was talking about, so I asked, “Who?”
“Your kids,” I clarified. “You’ve got two, right?”
“Yes, but sometimes it seems like more.” I giggled as I told him, “I have a son named Austin and a daughter named Chrissy, but you already knew that.”
“I got names and ages. That’s about it. Tell me something I don’t know.”
“Austin is your typical teenage boy. He’s moody, talks in grunts, and rolls his eyes like it’s his full-time job.”
“Oh, he must get that from his momma.”
“Oh, he has me beat. That’s for sure. But he’s a good kid. He’s so smart, and when he lets his guard down, he’s still that sweet boy with rosy cheeks who used to bring me weeds from the backyard.”
“Weeds?”
“He thought they were flowers.” I shook my head at the memory.
I’ve always had a special connection with Austin, not just because he was my first born, because we understood each other in ways no one else did.
“His sister is just as sweet, but she’s also sassy.
Very sassy . The kid’s eleven going on twenty-five, and she might be the messiest kid on the planet. ”
“Surely not.”
“Oh, it's bad. She thinks shoving crap under her bed qualifies as cleaning. It’s a nightmare when I finally get under there and start pulling stuff out, but she has a heart the size of Texas. She’ll give you her last cookie and somehow make you feel like you’re doing her a favor.”
“She sounds like trouble.”
“The best kind,” I said softly as I glanced over to the fire. “They drive me crazy, but I’d do just about anything for them.”
“They’re lucky to have you.”
I didn’t respond.
I tried to be a good mother to them both, but I had my shortcomings. Plenty of them, and I worried that one day it would catch up with me and with them. I stared into the fire for a moment before asking, “What about you? Do you have any kids?”
“Afraid not.”
“That’s a shame. You would’ve been a great dad.”
“What are you saying? I’m old or something?”
“Well… no. That’s not what I meant at all.”
“Good, cause I’ve still got a few good years left in me.”
“You proved earlier tonight that you have more than a few left in you.”
“Yeah, that’s right,” he chuckled. “Regardless, the door on kids isn’t completely closed. But even if it was, I’d be okay with that.”
We let the quiet fall again and just listened to the sizzle of the hot dogs and the occasional pop of the logs breaking it up.
My hot dog was done, so I reached over and grabbed a bun from the bag.
I put on some ketchup, and Jameson did the same with his.
After a couple of bites, he asked, “So, what about teaching? Do you like it?”
“Some days.” I shrugged. “I’ve got a few students who make the day worthwhile, but most of the time it’s just a job. It pays the bills and keeps the insurance going. That’s about it.”
He studied me for a second, then asked the one question I’d hoped he wouldn’t ask. “Why’d you leave the force?”
“Hmm.” I let out a breath. “That’s a long story.”
He didn’t push.
He just held my gaze and said, “I’ve got time.”
“I’m surprised you don’t already know.”
He knew about the divorce, where I worked, and the kids. I couldn’t imagine how he didn’t know about that night. Hell, everyone knew about it. But Jameson shook his head and said, “Know what?”
“Something happened. It was pretty bad, and I’ll tell you all about it. But just not tonight. It’s too much for tonight.”
“Nothing’s too much when it comes to you, babe, but you can tell me whenever you get ready.”
“And please don’t do that thing you do and go looking for yourself.” I found it doubtful that he would agree, but I told him, “Just be patient and wait until I’m ready. I want to be the one who tells you.”
“Understood.”
I turned and stared back at the fire for a long minute, letting the silence wrap around us again. My heart was pounding, not just from the memories, but from the weight of him sitting beside me. It was just the way it used to be, and it was too much and not enough all at once.
I turned to him, my voice quieter now, but steady. “What are we doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“ This .” I motioned my hand between us. “The sex. The fire. The hotdogs. What is this?”
Without missing a beat, he smirked and said, “I was hoping I was winning you over, but now, I’m not so sure.”
“I’m serious, Jameson. Are we just hooking up for old time’s sake, or is this something more?”
His smirk faded, and he turned his body toward me. “What do you want it to be?”
“Oh, no. Don’t you go spinning this back around to me. We’re both in this.” I met his eyes, heart in my throat. “There were reasons why it didn’t work before, and I don’t want to go through all that again.”
“I remember all too well, but some of those reasons aren’t reasons anymore.”
“No, but now there are different ones. I have kids to consider. I can’t afford to get this wrong.”
He didn’t flinch.
He looked me dead in the eye and said, “Then let me get it right.”
I blinked.
“I know the stakes, Dev. I know they’re even higher this time,” he said, his voice low, steady, and sure in a way that sent goosebumps up my arms. “I know I fucked up before by letting you go and thinking we could just walk away clean. But I’m not asking you to drop your life or forget who you are.
I’m just asking for a chance to be in it. That’s it. One chance.”
He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, his fingers lingering for just a moment as he waited for my response. There was one looming question that I was terrified to ask, because the answer could end this right here and now. But it was a question that had to be asked.
I swallowed and let out a breath before asking, “And what about the club?”
“What about it?”
“Would I forever remain a secret or…”
“Fuck no,” he answered without hesitation. “I’ll take you there right now and introduce you to every fucking one of them, including Preacher. Hell, he already knows about you. Shep and Grim, too.”
“Really?”
“No more secrets, babe.” He cocked his brow. “And that goes both ways.”
“I never tried to keep you a secret.”
“You never had kids and an ex either.”
The thought of telling the kids about Jameson wasn’t nearly as daunting as telling Brian.
He knew what Jameson meant to me, and a piece of him was always jealous of it.
He’d toss out snide comments whenever we argued, saying that I had my head in the clouds and no matter how much I wanted him to be, he’d never be him .
The thing was, I never wanted Brian to be Jameson.
I’m not sure what I wanted him to be, but he always seemed to fall short. Regardless, the mere mention of his name would more than likely send him over the edge. I was imagining all the vile things he would say when the sound of Jameson’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “Where’d you go?”
“I was just thinking.”
“About?”
“How to do this right?” I saw no point in tiptoeing around it, so I told him, “I haven’t really dated since the divorce. I can count on one hand how many times I’ve been out of the house, and every time, it was either with Laura or my mother.”
“I get it. This will be an adjustment for everyone, including your ex.” Jameson shook his head. “Hell, I can only imagine how pissed he’s gonna be, especially after the run-in we had last week.”
“What run-in?”
“It was nothing.” I could tell by his expression that he wasn’t being completely forthcoming as he told me, “We had a situation at the Vault, and he came by to question us about it. Needless to say, we didn’t hit it off.”
“Did he know who you were?”
“He didn’t say, but I got the feeling he did.”
“Oh, great. I’m sure he was a complete asshole.”
“Oh, he was, but it comes with the territory.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing for you to be sorry about, babe. He’s the asshole. Not you.”
“Still hate you had to deal with him… Did he help with the situation or just make it worse?”
“That’s yet to be determined.”
“That sounds a little daunting.”
“Not as daunting as the fact that you haven’t told me what’s what.” His eyes locked on mine as he added, “If you’re not in this and you’re gonna leave and wreck me all over again, just tell me now. I got through it once. I can again, but don’t fuck with me. Give it to me straight.”