Page 34 of Creed

“Of course you do.” I shook my head. “Well, they took it pretty hard. They’re still taking it hard.”

“I hate to hear that. Hopefully, they just need some time.”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure they’ll ever forgive me for leaving their father, but that’s a story for another day.”

“Understood.”

“What about you?” I braced myself even before I asked the question. “Are you married?”

“Wouldn’t be sitting here if I was.” His smirk faltered as he admitted, “I considered it once, but she wasn’t you. So, I didn’t go through with it.”

“Jameson.”

“You look good, Dev,” he said, eyes roaming over me just enough to make me feel it in every nerve ending. “Damn good.”

Hearing him say that stirred something inside of me, and suddenly, I was feeling all those things I’d buried so long ago. He’d hurt me. We’d hurt each other, and yet, here we sat.

I looked down and tried to catch my breath as I reached for my coffee. I wasn’t paying close enough attention, and my hand brushed against his. I should have pulled away. I didn’t.

Neither did he.

It was such a small touch. Our fingers barely grazed, but it felt like so much more. The spark was still there, and it was a reminder of every late-night whisper and every promise we’d made and hadn’t kept. I finally pulled my hand back, but the warmth of his touch stayed with me, so I asked, “What is this, Jameson?”

“Like I said, it’s just a couple of friends catching up.”

“Feels like more.”

The words slipped out before I could stop them.

I wasn’t sure if I meant for him to hear them, but there they were, sitting heavy between us. “It feels like we’re trying to step back into something that I’m not so sure we need to step into.”

“We don’t have to figure it out right now.”

His voice was low, but there was a softness there that made it hard to breathe. I needed some space. I needed to think, so I told him, “Well, this has been great. It was really good to see you and all, but I’ve gotta go. I’ve got class in an hour, and I still have assignments to grade.”

“Have dinner with me.”

“We’ve already been there. Done that.”

“That was a long time ago.”

“Yeah, but I remember all too well.” I finished off my coffee before saying, “Maybe it’s best that we leave the past in the past.”

“You really believe that?”

A dull ache filled my chest as I quickly grabbed my things and stood. “It was really good to see you, Jameson.”

Before he could say anything more, I rushed through the crowd of kids and darted out the door. I was practically running as I made my way through campus, and I kept going until I reached my office.

I whipped inside and closed the door behind me. I felt like everything around me was spinning as I went over to my desk and collapsed in my chair. I don’t know how long I sat there, staring into space in a complete daze.

He was there.

It wasn’t a dream.

He was right there within my reach, and I fumbled. I fumbled hard.

I’d imagined this day a hundred times. I’d thought about all the things I’d want to say and do, and I finally got the chance and didn’t do or say any of it. I don’t know what the hell I was thinking. He asked me to dinner. Dinner. Not to run off and get married. Not to start all over. Just dinner, and I didn’t have the balls to accept.