Page 7

Chapter Seven

“Was that dude your boyfriend or something?” Chris asks from the back exit where he’s hanging his head out the door to take a quick smoke break.

“An old friend,” I volunteer. Not that it’s any of his business.

“Is he aware he’s only a friend?”

“I’m not sure what you mean. What’s it to you, anyway?”

“I didn’t mean to offend you. My bad.”

“Well, you didn’t,” I mutter and scan the schedule.

I don’t work the same shift with Tonya again for a few days. Bummer. Looks like I share nearly all my shifts with the new busboy. I miss our old one. Jeremy was great. He didn’t ask too many questions and never stole anyone’s tips. But he ran off and joined the Army and was shipped off for basics back in August. We’ve gone through at least four others since then.

I grab my stuff and book it to my car, happy my shift has ended.

I make the drive home mindlessly. Once inside, I do my usual routine of stripping off my work gear and doom scrolling the internet for a bit. Seth’s profile isn’t too hard to find, though he doesn’t appear to be very active. At least not publicly. His work isn’t listed. I can’t see his friends.

I debate on sending a friend request but decide against it. The last thing I need to do is encourage him, but I’d be a liar if I said I’m not curious.

If I’m being honest with myself, I’ve missed him and part of me has always wondered what happened to him. I toy with the locket hanging around my neck. I’ve always worn it out of habit. At least that’s what I’ve always told myself. I guess I couldn’t bring myself to part with my last reminder of him.

I don’t want to stay here in my apartment where I’m going to sit alone and be paranoid that someone is going to break in and hack my body into teeny pieces and shove them in a suitcase and toss me in a river or something.

I take a quick shower to get the grime off of me from work, then head over to Tonya’s to listen to her gab about her night with Ghoul and bitch about her ex. Her problems and love life will be a great distraction from overthinking mine.

Going through the same ritual as this morning, I check my fire escape and look out the peephole. Outside, once again I scan for unfamiliar cars and faces, then check my backseat and trunk. That bullet under my pillow has creeped me the hell out. On the drive to Tonya’s, I’m constantly checking my mirrors to see if anyone is following me.

If I didn’t have the bullet as proof, I’d believe I dreamed the whole thing. Thankfully, work kept me busy enough that it wasn’t constantly on my mind. Seeing Seth was a welcome distraction, even if ninety percent of the time he was working his way under my skin.

I hit the drive-thru of a local pizza place and pick up a ready-made pepperoni and an order of these cheese stuffed muffin thingies that Kaydence loves. Tonya will forgive me for blowing off her texts from earlier when I show up with dinner, saving her from having to cook.

The second she opens her door to see me holding the food, I’m rewarded with her infectious smile. Despite the shitty hand life has dealt her, she always finds the bright side of any situation. That’s one of the things I admire most about her.

“Just in time. If I had to make macaroni and nuggets one more time this week, I was going to lose my mind.”

“There could be worse things. When I was a kid, I only wanted grilled cheese sandwiches dipped in ketchup.”

She scrunches her nose up. “Ew. You are nasty.”

“Ha. Says the weirdo who dips a cinnamon bun in her chili.”

“It’s okay to be wrong.”

“You know what? I think I’ll take my pizza and go home. ”

“Girl, get your ass in here and hush.”

“That’s what I thought.” I breeze past her as she stands aside for me to enter. If my hands weren’t full, I’d flip my hair. I dump my offerings at the kitchen table. Kaydence tugs on my hand, then holds her arms up, wanting me to hold her. I know what she wants. She loves jewelry and always wants to look at the locket I wear. As soon as I heft her onto my hip, she wraps her fingers around the silver heart. “Do you want some pizza puffs?”

Her face lights up and I untangle her fingers from the stranglehold she has on my necklace before plopping her bottom onto a chair. Tonya is already setting up her plate and cutting the pizza bites into four pieces, so they are easier for her to eat.

I grab a couple of paper plates and set us up with two slices of pizza each, then grab us both bottled water.

“You keep doing sweet stuff and I may have to give up on men and marry you instead,” she teases.

“No offense, but you’re not my type.”

“Ouch.”

“I don’t want to take a punch from that Rage guy.” I laugh, but I am only half joking. That due was unhinged.

“Ha. Funny.”

“That was something.” I sit next to Kaydence in case she needs any help to give Tonya a break so she can eat without interruption. Like most children, she wants to be considered a big kid who can do things on their own. She has a stubborn streak and can be prone to some tantrums when she doesn’t get her way. Tonya is an exceptional mother, but I know it wears on her when she’s had a string of bad days. I’m sure the stunt her ex pulled didn’t help her stress levels.

She blows on her first slice, then takes a healthy bite. “Can you believe that?” she mumbles as she chews and shakes her head.

“I’m sure you have other things you’re dying to talk about.”

“After I get Kaydence a bath and to bed. Tell me about you and Creed. Seemed like the two of you knew each other.”

The main reason I came over was to avoid all things Seth Creed, but should have known she’d be curious. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

“Uh.” Kaydence grunts, unable to reach her sippy cup. I scoot it closer and allow her to grab the cup herself, which seems to appease her.

“As you were saying,” Tonya presses. I know she will not let this go.

Simple is better. “We grew up together.”

“Don’t hold back. Spill the tea.”

“There’s not much to say. We lost contact and last night was the first time I’ve seen him in ten years or so.”

“You dated. ”

“I’m not sure you could call it that. We fooled around. It’s not a big deal.”

“I thought we were friends.”

“We are.”

“So why are you giving me a careful answer?”

“It’s complicated.”

“Do you think I’m going to judge you or something? I tell you everything, Lottie. The good and the bad, because that’s what friends do.”

“You’re right. I’ve got a lot on my mind. If I tell you something, you’ve got to promise me it stays between us.”

“I’m a safe space.”

“I know.” I grab the pack of wipes that sit in the center of the table that Tonya keeps on hand for Kaydence and give the little cutie one before she smears pizza sauce all over my jeans. “It’s not you. I’m scared,” I admit.

“Let me set her up with a cartoon and we can talk on the balcony while I smoke.”

While she gets Kaydence settled in her fenced in play area of the living room, I clean up the remnants of our meal.

Out on the balcony that shoots off the living room with Kaydence in full view through the sliding glass door, Tonya lights up a joint and offers me a hit.

“No, but thank you.”

“Suit yourself.” She takes a deep toke. “Now tell me about you and Creed. ”

“Our parents were married for a few years, and I wanted to be anywhere he was. I wanted to be with him. Be his. For a while I was. In secret. It ended badly because of miscommunications on both our parts and there really isn’t much more to tell.”

“Forbidden. I’ve gotta share this with my book group.”

“What?”

“I won’t tell them your name and I can post anonymously. Trust me, they will eat this shit up.”

“Tonya. No way.”

“Come on. Let us live through you. I want details. Are you still into him? You are, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know. Maybe, but we weren’t good for each other.”

“He’s fucking hot.”

“Looks aren’t everything.”

“No, but they sure as shit don’t hurt.” She takes another hit off her joint.

“Enough about me. What’s up with you and Ghoul?”

“Remember. We listen and we don’t judge,” she cautions. “I know you don’t like him, but he’s sweet with me and we’re having a good time. That’s what I need. He allows me to gush about my spicy books and even tries out some of my favorite scenes. Last night, he brought in another dude.”

I do my best to mask my surprised reaction .

“We get to the room he stays at when he’s in town and this guy, I don’t recall his name. I think he’s one of the prospects or something is already waiting. I watched the two of them go at it. Making out. It was hot as fuck. Me and this other guy went down on Ghoul together while he was eating me. I was sitting on his face and the dude was down between his legs. I’ve never experienced anything like it. The whole thing was crazy and erotic. Filthy. Ghoul shot his load, and the guy spit it into my mouth. Then Ghoul fucked me while the guy fucked him. Ten out of ten would do it again.”

“Wow. That was certainly descriptive. Sharing is not my thing, but hey whatever floats your boat.”

“You’re judging.”

“No.” I flash my palms upward. “I just wasn’t expecting so many intimate details, and I can’t help but wonder if Creed ever takes part.”

“That was the first time he brought in another guy. We’ve done it with other girls, but I don’t think Creed knows Ghoul is bisexual. I don’t think he walks around advertising it based on the conversations we’ve had. Though he’d nut in his pants if you agreed to join us sometime.”

“I’m flattered but I don’t…yeah nope. Not going to happen. I love you, but I don’t want to have sex with Ghoul or you or any other woman.”

“You ever change your mind…I’m just saying you’re hot and I’d be down. ”

“Let’s talk about something else. I didn’t tell you what’s really got me freaking the fuck out.”

“Hold that thought. Let me get Kaydence down.”

“No worries. I should probably get home.”

“I made shit weird, didn’t I?”

“A little, but it’s fine. I’ll forget all about it in a day or five.” I laugh.

“I like don’t think about you naked or anything. It’s just that you’re my friend and I know you’d never fuck me over. And well, if you were curious. You’d be safe with me. You know?”

“I get it. We’ll talk later. Okay?”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No. A little weirded out but also flattered.”

“If you talk to your stepbrother or whatever, don’t mention what I shared, yeah?”

“I’ll take it to the grave.” I make the sign of crossing my heart.

Leaving Tonya’s, a familiar icy chill spreads down my spine. The creepy sensation of being watched overwhelms me as I climb into the driver’s seat. I planned to stay at Tonya’s longer, but the conversation grew strange and was going in a direction I shudder to think about. I don’t judge. Whatever consenting adults choose to do is none of my business. I can’t imagine Seth participating in a scenario like that. However, I don’t know the man he is today or what he’s been doing for the past ten years.

As I drive, I wonder if he’s going to call. It would serve him right if I had given him a fake number, but I’m curious about him and if our flame still burns as brightly as it once did.

By the time I arrive home, I remember that I never went shopping.

I got too invested in being in my head to think about it.

Until now.

Will someone be waiting for me?

Did they return while I was at work?

Did they get the wrong apartment?

Does the X mean what I think it means?

I need answers and no clue where to begin searching for them.