Page 76 of Cracked Ice (The F*cked Up Players #1)

thirty-six

T he crispy leaves and pointed pricker briars are sharp, embedding themselves into the soles of my feet, but I run as fast as they’ll take me.

The dense Washington forests can be thick in certain areas of the state and this one’s no exception. I have to do a lot more dodging and crouching than actual running, but I’m making incredible time and maintaining my speed. I’m running so fast I don’t even realize I’ve left Lucien in the dust.

I risk a glance behind me, but he’s not there.

Did he let me win so he could fuck me? That’d be kinda sweet if it weren’t for the competitor in me not wanting a win handed to me.

I stop running, pausing to check my surroundings, but I have no idea where I am.

I call out his name, “Lucien!”

Nothing.

“Seriously. Lucien, this isn’t funny!” I shout.

More silence.

“You better not be trying to scare me! I will be so—”

What am I saying? Of course he’s trying to scare me. This is Lucien we’re talking about.

My heart rate kicks up a beat and sweat matriculates down my neck. I’m suddenly hyper-aware of everything, including the brief snap of a twig. I whip my head, straining to see if I see him, but there’s nothing but trees.

Get it together, Sydney.

Just as I turn back around, my body hits the chilled forest floor with a jarring thud, and I get rolled around in the brush of a clearing.

A startled scream rips through my throat—my assailant more than pleased with the noise. It’s just me and a depraved hockey player in the middle of the woods, right?

What could possibly go wrong?

“You almost gave me a heart attack!” I yell even as Lucien’s large, veiny hands pin me to the ground by my wrists.

“I caught you,” he sing-songs, grinding his cock against my pantiless sex. “Again.”

I flail beneath him, trying to regain purchase, but there’s no overpowering him.

I’m pinned. We’re in the same position from seven hours ago when this all started, and he had me splayed against the ice.

I remember the intense cold and scalding heat fighting for dominance in my body and I shiver.

Except now, it’s the earth at my back and a monster on top.

Everything’s different now, he’s not a stranger anymore, or the talented boy I found practicing alone. He’s . . .

Not playing fair again.

“You said we were racing,” I argue, squirming beneath him, albeit uselessly.

“I said that?” Lucien pretends to sound confused. “I meant Hide and Seek. Looks like I win. No getting fucked for you I guess,” he taunts.

The growl I let loose would put grizzlies to shame because fuck him! This is beyond torture. I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but I still have a goal to accomplish: setting my V card on fire with Lucien.

I don’t want Bradford or some other guy from back home who curried favor with my dad and wants to use me. If I can take this one thing for myself, I’ll be able to keep going. I’ll survive those people back home because they’ll never be able to take this away from me. Never.

“Lucien,” I whine. “Don’t tease me anymore.

I can’t take it at this point.” I’m pleading, the emotion spilling out of me involuntarily as I whimper, raw need heavy in my throat.

“I know I haven’t been coy, or ladylike, but I do want you.

I want you so fucking much it’s driving me crazy. I’m losing my mind.”

He hums, staring down at me, and for once I don’t mind my appearance.

He sees me.

“You were already crazy,” he says matter-of-factly, a knowing smirk on his face.

I sigh, ready to give another piece of myself to him. To tell him the truth or some part of it.

“Crazy about you . . . I’d do anything for you. If you’d just let me. Let me give you this.” I grind against him, lifting my hips, my wet pussy undoubtedly creating a damp spot on his jeans. I can feel the outline of his cock underneath the coarse denim, and it only drives me further insane.

“Hmm, let me think about it,” Lucien muses even as his hands trail my body, hiking my dress up my thighs.

His fingers are firm and strong, but they tickle as they slide against my skin.

I never want to forget this feeling of his hands on me.

“Tell me why you want me, and I might give you what you want.” Gripping my hips, he flips me roughly, forcing my sore ass against him, the leaves and dirt in my hair flying.

My ruined knees press into the leaves beneath us.

I groan. “Fuck, Lucien, this is a two-thousand-dollar dress.”

He ignores my protests.

“Tell me what you want, Princess, and I’ll give you everything you’re begging for and more.”

I want to push, to argue and tell him I’m not begging, that this is something more than lust. This is my one chance to choose someone for myself.

For the first time, I talked to a guy I actually wanted to hold a conversation with.

Tonight, I went on a real date where a man went out of his way to convince me I was beautiful the way I was, who acknowledged my talent and accepted my dreams.

Tonight, I sought to claim a victory that wasn’t assured. I stumbled and faltered, and, yeah, maybe I stalked a little bit, but it all led to me being here with him.

“I’m waiting, Sydney, tell me why you want me . . . please.”

His lips travel over my neck and jaw, kissing me, setting my thawed heart aflame, but it’s his uncharacteristic ‘please’ that ultimately has me folding.

I need to tell him. It has to be now.

I slowly turn back over, to face him again. Trailing my fingers along his thick arched brows that lowkey have me jealous of their perfection, I reach a small divot hidden beneath his hair. I choose to focus on it as I declare my confession.

“All my life there was only ever one thing I wanted. More than toys. More than money. More than friends. And that was to be a professional competitive figure skater. The moment I realized I wanted it, I didn’t see anything else.

I didn’t care about anything else.” My forehead crinkles as I think about how sad that is.

I never had any ambitions outside of that dream, no close friends or hobbies, just figure skating.

“That was true for nineteen years, until I saw you.” Lucien’s eyes pin me as sharply to the ground as the rest of him does.

“You were the only other thing in my life that made me deviate from that goal. The only other thing I wanted just as bad as I wanted figure skating. It was different and it felt good, but it also scared me.” My fingers slide from his brows to cup his face—he lets me.

“ You scared me—but not in the way you think. It was because you rivaled my dreams. I tried staying away, I really did. But the more I tried to flee, the more you drew me in. Until I couldn’t go a day without seeing you.

Then something happened, and I knew I had to stop.

But today . . .” Tears line my eyes the longer I drown in his sea of gold.

I steel myself with a breath. “You wanted to know why it was today. Why I revealed myself and ended our cat and mouse game?” A self-deprecating laugh signals my impending breakdown.

“Today . . . I lost figure skating. I lost the dream I chased my whole life. I lost the one thing that was always mine. I let myself grow desperate, and I was kicked off the team, Lucien. It’s over.

” Tears slide down to my ears. “And the worst part is, there’s no one to blame. It’s all my fault.”

It was all I could do to not pull my hair out and scream at the stupidity of my own actions. My fingers claw at the dirt as I lie beneath Lucien who hasn’t uttered a word. He only stares at me as I get this out. My dirt-covered hands claw at his shirt next to draw him closer.

“Without figure skating in the way, there was only one other dream worth having and that’s you.

You were the only thing worth continuing to pursue.

You’re talented, funny, surprisingly nice, despite your violent streak.

You make me feel alive, invincible, like I can take on the world.

So, if I can’t have figure skating anymore, then at least I can have you .

. . if you want me.” I drop my hands as he regards my face.

I look from his eyes to his lips, unable to ask the hard question with all that intensity directed at me. “Do you . . . want me?” I shrug.

Lucien takes a deep breath, moving his hand to grab my jaw.

“Fuck, Princess, you have no fucking clue, do you? When I say I’m crazy about you, I mean it. Don’t ever doubt that. You’re mine. Never forget that I’ve claimed you.”

“Never,” I vow.

He nuzzles against my cheek, a gesture normally perceived as sweet, but when his eyes meet mine again, they’re full of animalistic carnality and I’m reminded what being claimed by him means.

“Take off the hoodie and get on all fours,” he instructs. I waste no time obeying. The time for talking and truths are over.

A dark, mirthless chuckle spills from his lips and a trickle of real fear tingles up my back as my bare knees settle into the cold, damp ground.

For a moment he’s quiet, and it’s only the sounds of the forest in the still air.

His own name sliced into my ass for him to see.

It’s a stark reminder of the position we’re in and how dangerous this all is.

Anxiousness sprouts when that quiet stretches on before I risk looking over my shoulder.

He meets my stare and the adoration I find staring back at me is almost too much.

“Is there anything you wouldn’t let me do to you?” he asks.

“No,” I whisper, because honestly nothing comes to mind. I’ll let Lucien do anything to me—if it means having him.

“Oh, that’s right, you said you’d do anything for me.” He relishes the term like it’s something to savor. “That’s a dangerous word for someone like me.”

He’s trying to be ominous, but there’s no need for either of us to hold back anymore. I get it now. I see him for exactly who he is, and I don’t care. I want him anyway.