Page 6 of Cozy with the Mountain Man (Fall for a Mountain Man #10)

CHAPTER SIX

Beckett

Jules’s head rested on my chest, her fingers trailing light circles over my stomach as she traced the outlines of my ab muscles.

We could barely keep our hands to ourselves, having sex again and again, until we were both fully depleted of energy.

It certainly worked up an appetite, as we both had bowls of stew again, this time in bed.

Jule’s spoon froze as a far away look came over her expression.

She looked back at me with a sad smile. “My parents worked all the time. I knew from the beginning they never wanted me. I was an accident. Something they had to deal with. They never said it, but I could tell. Their actions spoke louder, and considering they hired nanny after nanny and couldn’t be bothered to even look my way, I figured it out. ”

“Wow, Jules. I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”

“It was. I don’t have a relationship with them now. Luckily, I was able to secure some grants and scholarships, and I moved to a college several states away. I didn’t finish, but I had a breakout debut novel, and I was able to settle here and buy a cabin.”

“Wait a second. A debut novel? You’re an author?”

Jules smiled sheepishly. “Yes. Nothing crazy. But I make a decent living. I write women’s fiction.”

“That’s a big deal, you know. Not everyone can write a book and make a living off it. And you fought through your childhood situation, too. Be proud of yourself.”

“Thank you. You should be as well. Your place is gorgeous.”

I froze in her arms briefly as my thoughts swarmed. “Thank you. I can’t take credit, though. It was my mee-maw’s. I fixed it up a bit.”

“Did she give it to you?”

“Yeah. She left it to me in her will.”

Jules nodded. “I know. I ask a lot of questions. I want to get to know you, that’s all. But you can always tell me to shut up.”

“I would never.”

“But I’m saying you can, and I would totally understand.”

I laughed and kissed the top of her head, pulling her in closer against me. I wanted to tell her everything. About what happened. But was I ready to?

It had been years since I spoke about the accident out loud. I wasn’t so sure I could handle it, and the last thing I needed was something to fuck up all the progress I’d made.

But if Jules was something special to me, she deserved to know all of me. And I would give her that.

“My parents died when my sister, Rena, was only two years old. A car accident. In a snowstorm on the mountain roads. I was five, but I still remembered the noise my grandmother made when the police showed up on her doorstep. My sister and I were playing in the living room. I watched as she fell to her knees and let out the rawest sound of pain I’d ever heard.

After that, life changed. We moved in with my grandmother, and a dark cloud of grief hung around for years until, slowly, the fog cleared.

We cooked like I told you earlier, and the three of us healed together as we grew closer.

Until one stupid mistake.” My voice caught in my throat, and I blinked back tears.

Maybe I still wasn’t ready to share it.

Jules said nothing, patiently waiting for me to continue when ready. Her hand held on tight to mine, not once turning away from anything she’d heard so far.

With a deep breath, I pressed forward. “Rena insisted on going out for ice cream even though it had snowed earlier and had yet to stop. It was only picking up in speed as the hours went on. So the three of us climbed into Mee-maw’s car, me behind the wheel, and off we went.

But on the way back…” My voice trailed off, and I swallowed hard.

“The tires slipped and I…I lost control of the car. We spun in circles and were thrown into the woods, the car rolling several times. I lost consciousness for a minute, but when I woke up, my sister was screaming and Mee-maw was struggling to breathe, the air gurgling in her chest. I tried to move and find my phone, but it was of no use. I was stuck. And I listened to them both die. While all alone. All because of me.” I sat up in bed, unable to breathe.

Emotion choked and squeezed my throat, flashbacks of that day hitting me.

“Oh my God, Rowan. I am so sorry. That must’ve been awful.” Jules wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tight. “My story is nothing compared to yours.”

“It’s still something in its own right. Everyone’s story is.” I wiped at my eyes, tears slipping down the sides of my cheeks. “I miss them so much, Jules. Rena was fifteen and still had so much life to live.”

Jules lifted herself and looked at me. She searched my eyes, her own eyes wet with tears. “You know it’s not your fault, right?”

I said nothing.

“Rowan, look at me. Tell me you believe me. It’s not your fault.” She placed her hands on each side of my face and forced me to look at her.

“It’s not your fault,” she repeated.

Again. And again.

Finally, the dam broke free, and tears poured down my cheeks. I turned and buried my face in her shoulder as sobs wracked my body. “I miss them so much, Jules. So fucking much. And they would be here if it wasn’t for me not paying attention…”

Jules rubbed my back and shook her head. “It’s not your fault. Accidents happen. And now look how safe a driver you are.”

I continued to sob, years of emotion and pain pouring out of me, all while holding Jules close. Not once did she wiggle her way out or try to move. Instead, she waited for however long I needed.

I’d opened my heart and let my guard down, but for her, it felt so right.

When I had no tears left to cry, I kissed her soft lips and told her I loved her.