Page 20 of Cozy Girl Fall

How many times could she screw up in just one month? Penny felt like she should have reached her limit by now, except the hits kept coming.

The drive home after leaving Ethan’s hadn’t been long enough to clear her head, so she parked her car in the driveway at her parents’ and grabbed her coat and scarf from the backseat of the car.

Wrapping them tightly around herself, Penny tried to breathe deeply, to center herself as she observed the mist her breath made and shoved her hands deep in her pockets to stay warm.

She sucked the cold air down greedily, hoping it might cool the fire Ethan had heated in her blood, or that it might sedate the part of her that was tempted to get back in her car and walk straight back into Ethan’s arms. Because there was no doubt in her mind that he had a lot still to give …

and so did she. But would it end up hurting them more than if she’d just stayed away?

Leaves crunched under her boots as she followed the familiar path that curled around the side of her parents’ cottage and led into the fields.

The rhythmic thump of her feet on the ground kept her heart beating steady as the trail opened up to a dirt path, a sparsely held together fence on one side, bathed in moonlight.

It had been ten years since she’d last truly kissed Ethan Blake, and now she’d done it twice in the space of a month.

Yet, despite the time that had passed, the feel of his mouth was still as deeply ingrained in her skin now as it had been when she was seventeen.

Something burned between them, but she couldn’t work out whether pursuing it would leave her hurt or just hot.

The sky was a clear and deep indigo that darkened the longer Penny walked, stars winking in and out in a sprawl so bright she stopped to crane her neck up and look at them. You couldn’t see stars like this in the city.

When she finally looked back down, her vision swam and the stars were etched on the inside of her eyelids.

Somewhere, an owl hooted, likely searching for mice in the field, and no matter how many times Penny tried to empty her head, she kept finding herself back in that moment at Ethan’s.

The smashing of the plates as they’d hit the floor, the silverware bouncing like silver streamers as it hit the hardwood in a clash that should have been deafening.

But the only sound she could recall was Ethan’s heavy panting, the way he’d mumbled her name under his breath like a prayer.

She stopped walking once she reached the place where the fencing shifted into a more solid presence.

Colton’s land. His fields ran all the way from there to up and past the orchard.

His stables were directly opposite, just across the way, and Penny clicked her tongue gently, hoping one of the horses might still be out.

Colton had never minded before when Penny walked on his land, especially since it bordered her parents’, so she strolled down further.

Heavy footsteps had her head jerking up and around and she smiled when a horse as black as the night surrounding them leant its head over the fence and sniffed at her hands eagerly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t bring any treats.”

The horse didn’t seem to mind, just snuffled its nose in her hands and let her stroke up to the soft center of its head for a scratch as it huffed warm air into her palms.

Maybe coming to Magnolia Springs had caused more problems than it had solved.

She didn’t know what to do—pretend like Ethan hadn’t made her come without even removing her pants?

Confess to his sister and let her mete out Penny’s punishment?

Run again? Not that she had anywhere to run to—and her savings would only last her so long.

But, she couldn’t help thinking as she stood out under the stars with the horse’s mane beneath her hand, the truth was … she didn’t want to run again.

She’d been desperate to leave Magnolia Springs as a teenager, but now that she was back she wasn’t sure why.

Had she changed? Had the town? Sure it was annoying that everyone knew everyone and all their business, but it also meant there was almost always a friendly face around to tell you good morning or offer a smile.

The horse, apparently grown tired of waiting for treats that didn’t come, decided to walk away and Penny knew she needed to get home too.

It was getting late and the cold air was biting at her skin; already her ears had begun to ache from the chill, so she pulled up the hood on her coat to warm them as she began her walk back to the cottage.

Once again, Penny had made a mess of things and now she had to decide whether to clean it up or lie in it.

She’d walked further than she thought, and by the time she reached the cottage it was nearly eleven. The tiny yard light was still on and she smiled at the familiarity of it all, the fact that her parents still left the light on when she came home after dark.

The warmth rushed over her as soon as she stepped inside and Penny shuddered, the last of the cold trying to cling to her bones as the heat dove in.

She unzipped her coat and hung it on the hook, poking her head into the kitchen and instead heading the other way, to the living room when she found the light off.

Murmured voices from the TV pulled her in and Penny strode past the hot log burner before dropping into the gray armchair opposite her parents on the sofa.

“How did it go?”

Terrible. Wonderful. “It was OK.”

Angie nodded in response and Penny was grateful that her mom was too engrossed in the film they had on to notice Penny’s disheveled state. There was still soda in her hair where it had spilled on Ethan’s table while they were—

“So what are we watching?”

“Oh, it’s nearly over now, honey. It was your father’s pick this week.”

Penny nodded. It was probably either an action flick or had something to do with space, the army, or was based on a true story. Her dad was nothing if not predictable.

Still, she sat there quietly in the warmth and let her eyes get heavy to the sound of the TV and her parents’ chatter.

Penny still hadn’t made up her mind. The whole short drive to the orchard the next day she went back and forth with herself. She could only hope Ethan wouldn’t be there today, otherwise they were about to leave ‘kinda awkward’ in the dust in favor of ‘excruciatingly uncomfortable’.

She’d have to face him eventually, she knew that.

But doing so now, when she wasn’t sure what her own thoughts about all this were, only meant she’d make more of a mess of things.

Plus, when it came to him, she knew she couldn’t keep up her resolve.

When it came to Ethan, she was weak. There was no denying it anymore, not after the events of the previous night.

There was no sign of his truck outside the shop and she breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped out of her car and grabbed her equipment for the day.

It was cold again but in a way she found refreshing rather than dreaded being out in.

Dew coated the grass and dotted the open gates to the orchard like little gems, glinting in the morning light, and Penny regretted wearing her sneakers, knowing they’d soak up the moisture and leave her toes cold.

Good progress was happening in the orchard with nearly half the trees harvested and still a few weeks leeway before the weather turned too much for the fruit to survive.

The annual bonfire in mid-October was fast approaching, which meant the heat was on to harvest as much as possible before the Halloween Orchard Fest happening two weeks after that.

Penny couldn’t believe so much time had passed since she’d been back in town.

It had nearly been a month but it had flown, while at the same time making her feel like she’d never left at all.

Penny pulled on her gloves and analyzed the tree in front of her, deciding where to start first. Today’s only aim was distraction—she planned to work so hard that Ethan wouldn’t have the chance to invade her thoughts at any point during the day, or, if she exhausted herself enough, her dreams later on.

The apples were still firm and droplets of water flicked up at Penny as she pulled the fruit free and dropped it into the bucket.

By the time midday came around, she was overheating in her sweater and was more than ready for a break.

Though, admittedly, she was still no closer to a decision when it came to her next steps with Ethan or whether to tell Tasha what had happened.

On the one hand, she was dying to discuss it with someone, but on the other …

Well, there was a very real possibility that Tasha might murder her.

Penny grabbed her coat from atop the bucket but didn’t put it on, still sweating from the physical exertion of the morning. She turned around to grab her car keys, debating what she wanted for lunch when the skin at the back of her neck prickled.

She knew who it would be before she even turned around—which is why she didn’t.

“Hi,” she said, still looking at the tree.

“Hey. Saw you working and wondered if you wanted to grab some lunch together?”

Lunch. Like she’d fall for that again. Dinner was supposed to be just that, and yet somehow it had ended with a swift, and somewhat embarrassing, orgasm. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Ethan.”

Don’t look at him. She knew that if she looked at him, she’d give in to whatever he wanted . Do. Not. Look.

If Penny ever had to face Medusa, she’d be screwed.

“Fine,” he said and she turned in time to see him shrug. “Coffee, then.” A dimple appeared in his chin when he grinned and she melted.

“One coffee,” she warned. “And no funny business.”

He raised his hands in mock surrender. “I’m pretty sure you were the one who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves, Pen.”

Her mouth dropped open as he folded his arms and raised a brow in challenge. “I did not —”