Page 39 of Courting Scandal With The Duke

‘As you wish. It has been a long day.’

She slipped quietly out of the room. He had never seen her so crushed.

But she didn’t want to wed Charles and she didn’t have to, and that was all that mattered.

He opened the drawer of the writing desk in the corner and pulled out quills, ink and paper. ‘Now, let us see about these confessions so you gentlemen, and Lady Wells, can be on your way.’

‘This is my house,’ Lady Wells said stiffly.

‘And you may return in a month or two, if you wish. But tonight, you will leave. Now, who is going to be first?’

Barbara eyed Xavier across the breakfast table. He looked so handsome, if a little tired.

She felt guilty about leaving him to deal with Charles and her father, but last night she had simply been too emotionally drained to do anything else.

Truthfully, she had been afraid of what she might do or say should Xavier say one kind thing to her. She had felt like bursting into tears.

Today she was ready to face whatever might come and be strong and resolute.

He smiled at her and her heart tumbled over. She hoped that he did not notice how her hand shook as she put down her cup.

‘Would you like more tea?’ she asked, proud of how calm she sounded.

He leaned back in his chair. ‘No, thank you.’ His face softened.

She knew that expression. It was the way he looked at her after they made love.

She had half expected him to come to her last night, and she’d lain awake and listen to the carriages departing. But he hadn’t come. And she hadn’t blamed him. It was better that they make a clean break of it.

‘Barbara—’

She couldn’t bear to hear him explain why they must part. She knew all the reasons why she could never be his duchess.

She put up a hand to stop him saying more. ‘Please. I will leave right after breakfast. As soon as a carriage may be hired.’

‘My love,’ he started.

No. No. She shook her head. She could not, would not be his love. How could she bear to share him with a wife?

She started to rise.

He got up and came around to her side the table, moving her chair for her as she stood and then capturing her hand.

‘Dearest, I will speak. And you will listen,’ he said with a touch of laughter in his voice.

She braced herself. ‘Very well, say what you must.’

‘First, I must thank you for coming to my rescue last night. It seemed you had already made your escape and did not need my help after all.’

He had come to her aid. Something twisted in her heart, such a sweet pain. She forced herself not to feel it. ‘I could not leave you sitting there with a pistol pointed at your head. Who knows what Charles might have done once he discovered I had gone?’

‘Indeed, the man is an absolute bounder. Come with me.’

He escorted her out of the breakfast room and into the drawing room where last night’s drama had played out. Someone had cleared up the plaster, though a hole remained in the ceiling.

Xavier seated her on the sofa and sat at her side. Her heart picked up speed. He must be expecting her to say something .

‘Did—did my father leave willingly?’

‘“Willingly” is a bit strong, but he promised to return to Lisbon. I will see to it that he receives a posting to some far-flung outpost where he and Lady Wells will never trouble you again.’

It was what she had always wanted. To be free of Father and his machinations. In spite of that, the future seemed somehow very lonely. ‘Thank you.’

‘I am afraid that the money you were supposed to receive from your first marriage is all but gone.’

Her stomach sank. But she had known as much already. Still, she had the jewels.

‘And Charles?’

‘Charles is another matter. He believes the jewels are his and, no matter what he says, I do not think he will rest until he has them back.’

A cold sensation ran down her back. ‘I believe he had someone try to steal them when I first came to London. They entered my aunt’s room instead of mine.’ She shivered. ‘Who knows what he will attempt next? Perhaps I should sell them.’

He regarded her for several long moments. ‘Despite how little I like the fellow, I think there is a good chance they are rightfully his.’

She let go a breath. ‘Father cheated.’

He nodded.

‘So I will be penniless.’

‘Not if we wed.’

The words took her breath away. Her heart filled with joy for one brief wonderful second. Reality brought her down to earth. After all she had done, how could she let him sacrifice his reputation?

‘No. Xavier. I could never be the sort of proper duchess you want. You know I could not.’

He grasped her hand in his and would not release it, though his touch was gentle, it was exceedingly firm.

‘I do not want a proper duchess,’ he said. ‘I want you.’ He shook his head ruefully.

‘That did not come out the way I meant it.’

He slipped off the sofa to kneel on one knee, kissed the back of her hand briefly and gazed into her face.

As he spoke, his voice became husky with emotion and his eyes were sincere and open and full of love.

‘You are the right duchess for me. You are kind and generous and loving. You are clever. You make me laugh at myself. You make me see the world with kinder eyes. I need that. I have been angry too long. I want to be happy.’

She peered into his eyes. ‘You aren’t angry any longer?’

‘All this time, I was angry at my father for marrying my stepmother. She took him from me first, because he loved her and then because he died trying to save her life. I never forgave him for dying. He should have stayed with me instead of following her.’

‘She made him happy.’

‘More so than my mother, who was by all account shy and very reserved. My stepmother was vibrant and young and yes, reckless. But she made him happy. Happier than I made him. I resented her for that, bitterly. Until I met you. Now I know what he felt for her. I want that.’ He hesitated.

‘But only if you want it as well. If you do not then I will arrange for you to live comfortably wherever you desire. No strings attached, I promise, and you would never have to see me again, even though I know it would break my heart to lose you.’

He had come for her last night. The only person in her life to come to see if she was all right. The only person to offer her protection without expectation. How could she not want him? She loved him.

But for him to marry her… ‘You will be ruined. After what I did, I will be persona non grata .’

‘Ruined? No. I will be a new man. A happy man. And to the devil with Society. I don’t care a damn what they think. I need you, Barbara.’

Emotion filled her eyes with foolish tears. She could not speak around the hot hard lump that had lodged in her throat.

‘I need you too, Xavier,’ she managed to say.

‘I love you,’ he said.

‘But I love you too well to—’

He touched a finger to her lips. ‘Don’t. If I lose you now I have finally found you, I don’t know what I will do.’

‘Oh,’ she whispered. It was the nicest, sweetest thing she had ever heard. How could she deny her feelings any longer?

‘I love you,’ she said. ‘I love you terribly, awfully, wonderfully. But best of all, I trust you.’ For the first time in her life, she had someone she could trust.

He kissed her.