Page 11

TEN

JAXON

Not even a goddamn month!

I barged out of the locker room with a throbbing headache after a disastrous friendly match against the Chicago Hawks and left the laughter and chatter behind. Not even a month before I had to hear it.

So what if I messed up? I wasn’t the only one. Dylan was just as guilty of losing the goddamn football as I was for not getting there in time. But did anyone march up to Dylan and suggest that if it was a pile of tits and coke, he’d have done better? Did anyone say it ran in his family?

The only thing I had been programmed to do, the only thing I was even remotely good at, was slipping out of my grasp already. I could see the rest of my life unfolding this way. I could see myself running headfirst into every brick wall of judgment and mockery. All that any Mercer wanted was a hotel room to wreck and a line of naked women to keep him busy.

My thumbs poured out a message before I even knew I was doing it. The bubble floated up the screen, where a scant few messages had been exchanged. Elio didn’t text. He barely looked at his phone. So when a message pinged in less than a minute, I frowned and hurried to see it.

Elio: Starting drills in a minute. Not great. Catch you after?

I texted back to confirm it and went to my dormitory. The room was like a cage all of a sudden. I just wanted Elio to finish his drills and come straight here. I wanted him to step inside, close the door behind his back while keeping his eyes right on my face, and cross the space between us with a determined stride before taking away all this rage that was building up inside me.

Except that wouldn’t be for another two or so hours. And he was struggling, too. This whole goddamn week had been a mess of annoyance. I’d tried to break out of it, make Elio come to a party with me, go away with me somewhere random, or do anything at all, but we were both scattered across the rising pressures of our teams and our lectures. The weekend came and went, and I had been locked up in the library in a desperate attempt to catch up on sports psychology to no success.

I paced my room, then decided that I wasn’t missing another chance with Elio. This was no longer just a burning desire but a need.

When a text came from him, I was on the roof of the building, watching a starry sky. The night was unseasonably warm, a scattering of wispy clouds stretched across the sky, lit by the full moon, and the stars glimmered brightly in the far parts of the sky where the moonlight didn’t hide them.

Elio: I’m outside your room.

Me: Come to the roof.

My hand swayed between two wooden garden recliners until I found the six-pack. I cracked open a can and took a sip just as the door creaked open and shut. Elio’s footsteps were soft as he approached the recliners. He didn’t sit down. Instead, he moved into my field of vision as a beautiful monolith, casting a shadow over me with his gorgeous figure. “Hey,” he said softly, then lowered himself on my recliner just as I scooted to make room for him. His hand went to my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek. “What happened?”

I tilted my head to feel more of his palm. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Sure?”

I thought about it for a moment, looking at Elio’s softened features. He was everything I needed tonight. “It’s all better now.”

“Really?” he asked. “Just because I came?”

I set my beer on the ground by the recliner and put a hand over Elio’s hand. “That’s exactly it,” I told him, leaving no room for uncertainty.

Elio considered it for a second, then leaned in a bit more. “I wish I could’ve come sooner.”

“Nothing matters, El,” I told him. “You’re here. That’s what’s important.”

He shifted around until he could lie next to me, the other recliner sitting empty as if it didn’t exist. I adored him for that. Elio’s arm snaked under me, and I laid my head on his shoulder, positioned on my right side so that my left hand rested on his chest.

He let me caress him slowly, not speaking up when my hand moved higher or lower. He wore a short-sleeved T-shirt, his arms bare and bulky.

“How did the drills go?” I asked.

He smirked in the silence that followed, then tilted his head down to look at me. “I don’t think that’s a topic for tonight.”

I nodded. “Let’s just…enjoy the moment.”

He lifted his hand and pinched my chin, holding my head in place as his gaze flicked between my eyes. “Better yet, let’s create a moment,” he whispered.

Saying it hadn’t crossed my mind would be a blatant lie. I hadn’t expected him to be so forward out here in the open, but it tickled a deep, hidden desire within me, and I closed my fist around the bottom edge of his T-shirt. “You sure about that?”

“Absolutely,” Elio said, his voice a little hoarse, as if he couldn’t hold back the word if he tried.

“You’re way naughtier than I thought,” I said, tipping my head up for a kiss and sliding my hand under his T-shirt.

Elio exhaled with a shudder as my fingers moved over his bare skin. His abs tensed under my palm, and I pressed harder, dragging my hand up to his solar plexus. The desire for his body and his affection was so addictive that small things begged for bigger things. I couldn’t stop here. I couldn’t slow down. The more of him I touched, the more I wanted. And the more he let me get away with, the more daring I felt.

Elio leaned his head down and pressed his lips against mine, kissing me softly, exploring it anew, and I simply enjoyed it for as long as it lasted. I never thought he would kiss me again. I never thought I would be in this place, where impossible things still occurred, but that was exactly where I was.

As I parted my lips to let Elio’s tongue venture into my mouth, the urgency and the desire boiled to a climax. My hand swept downward, moving over his belt and finding the hard bulge in his pants. My heart swelled with excitement, and I wriggled around until I lay on top of Elio, taking the lead. I kissed him now, not the other way around, and he let me. He simply lay there, his hands on my hips, his mouth open and welcoming, as I leaned down and thrust my tongue between his lips. My body swayed back and forth, my ass sinking down on his hard cock and forcing moans out of Elio’s mouth.

I snatched the edge of Elio’s T-shirt and yanked it up. He didn’t stop me. A huff burst out of his mouth as he lifted his torso off the lounge chair, and the T-shirt flew over up his raised arms, falling onto the tiled roof. My lips slammed against Elio’s, kissing him hungrily as my hands dragged down his bare chest and abs.

Elio took hold of my T-shirt and pulled it up, undressing me with ease, and I crawled lower until I could kiss his pecs, nipples, and solar plexus.

Elio’s muscles constricted, and he put his hands on the back of my head, letting out a strangled groan. “Fuck, Jax.”

I kissed the length of his stomach, dragging my lips over his firm abs until my chin brushed against his belt. I wondered if he would let me. I wondered, and then I slipped my fingers to his belt buckle, undid it, and glimmered with excitement as I undid his button and pulled his zipper. He didn’t even flinch.

The risk intensified exponentially with each second that ticked away. My lips covered the smooth, taut skin below Elio’s belly button, and his throat made a strangled sound of barely restrained pleasure.

His pants parted, and I tugged them lower, revealing the mound packed tightly in his black boxer briefs. My lips traced its length as tingles ran down my arms. I kissed it all the way to the tip, where I closed my lips around it and pressed it hard with my tongue.

“Fuck,” Elio grunted. “You sure about this?”

I lifted my gaze to his gaze, my mouth still working the tip of his cock over his underwear. Bathed in the silver moonlight, his face was prettier than ever, especially with that small sliver of fear rising in his eyes.

I slipped my fingers under the waistband of his underwear and pulled it over his cock, extending the tip of my tongue to lick it and lick away the reservations in Elio’s heart.

His head dropped back, and he shuddered, covering the back of my neck with his hand and pulling me closer, pressing my face against his crotch.

I pulled his underwear and his pants down his legs until they were tangled around his knees, then left them to focus where it mattered. My lips closed around the tip of Elio’s big cock, and I sucked him into my mouth with shameless skill, my throat relaxed and wet, warm and welcoming, and Elio’s fingers curled, sinking lightly into the flesh of my neck.

My heart thundered as I took him deep into my throat, moving my head so that his dick rubbed hard against the roof of my mouth, sending ripples of tension and pleasure all through Elio’s body. Anyone could walk up here on a beautiful night like this. Anyone could find me sucking Elio’s dick out in the open. And while Elio might be shielded by the raised back of the wooden outdoor lounger, I was in full view of anyone opening the roof door.

My fingers wrapped around the base of Elio’s cock, stroking him in the rhythm of my head’s movements, giving him the pleasure he wouldn’t forget anytime soon. But even as I swallowed him deep down my throat, I yearned for more.

My body heated, and my blood simmered with desire. As Elio’s fingers moved over my shoulders and upper back, a blazing trail remained behind them. Every touch, every sigh, every choked gasp from his lungs or mine was like the finest music I’d ever heard. It gave me life and joy and hope.

As the tension rose, still far from the crescendo I desired, I took him deeper, moving my hands down to his thighs and using only my mouth. His dick slid down my throat, cutting the flow of air and sound instantly, and tears welled in my eyes as I held my head low.

My dick throbbed in the tight confines of my briefs, the heat of lust searing my insides.

I lifted my head, letting Elio’s cock slip out of my mouth and flap against his stomach, standing upright a moment later and throbbing visibly in the moonlight. My saliva reflected the silver sheen of light against his smooth skin.

Elio put his hands on my face instantly, pulling me closer, and kissed my wet lips without hesitation.

When I pulled my head a little back and looked into his eyes, I didn’t wonder if he desired me or not. The answer was so clear in his eyes that I doubted I would ever wonder again. It’s not whether he likes me or not that is the question , I reminded myself, then shut down that voice with fury. “I want you to fuck me,” I said. “Right here. Right now.”

The risk made it hotter, and I didn’t even blink. It was an axiom of my bloodline. It was in my DNA to push the limits. So I hooked my thumbs inside my underwear and sweatpants and slid them down my ass, baring my cheeks as Elio’s hands traveled down my back.

He cupped my butt and held it firmly, squeezing my cheeks as his chest rose with a deep breath of air. He nodded. “Yeah, okay. Let’s do it here.”

As I lifted my torso and knelt around Elio’s waist, he sat up and pressed his lips between my pecs, kissing me slowly down the middle of my torso while kneading my ass with firm, determined hands. It only made my dick hurt more with every pulse.

Inside my pocket, a small pack of lube waited until Elio pulled my sweatpants lower, dragging my dick down with the waistband of my briefs.

I held my breath, the pain and pleasure soaring through me with the swiftly rising tension until the moment the waistband slipped over my cock and it sprang up.

Elio yanked my clothes down, and I only got up to pull them off each leg and slip the lube out of the pocket before returning to Elio’s lap. His hand eagerly embraced my dick and stroked it gently while I swung my hips back and forth over his lap.

I picked up the pack of lube and tore it open with my teeth, pouring it over my fingers and rubbing his cock with a slick hand until it was completely wet and slathered with lube.

My desire for a sensual, unifying experience warred with the urgency to just take him, claim him, bring him into my body, and have him whisper my name.

As I swayed my hips backward, his slick cock pressed between my cheeks, its entire length sliding through the tight space. I held it against my body with my hand, pressing its underside as Elio thrust his hips up. His hands moved to my waist, and his gaze descended to my cock, standing upright, and my balls pressed against his lower abdomen. He bit his lip, eyes widening as if he still couldn’t believe it.

I’d been with straight guys who wanted the experience of the whole spectrum of genders and sexualities. I’d been with guys who thought they wanted it with a guy only to shrug later and realize it wasn’t for them. I’d been with curious guys who discovered their bisexuality with a big grin on their faces and who fucked like angels. But I had never before been with a guy who was in pain after realizing the truth about himself. I’d never been someone’s cold shower of awakening and someone’s dirty secret. The feeling was oddly wonderful. It tasted exactly the way I imagined the apple tasted in Eve’s mouth.

I lifted myself a few inches above and held him firmly in my fist before letting my body sink again. The slick tip of his cock pressed hard against my hole, pressure rocketing high and my breath catching. This time, I knew what to expect, though I had always suspected Elio would be a challenge.

I bit my lower lip, directing my attention there, and held my breath. My abs tensed as I made my hole relax and welcome the rising pressure of his cock.

Elio held my gaze without a blink, not letting it break, and made his fingers sink into the soft flesh of my waist, keeping me still. The first try sent ripples of mild, distant pain through me. It went away as suddenly as it had come, letting me try again.

My toes curled as I sat on him, impaling myself on his big cock with one hard push, sinking down his length until I could feel him inside my body.

My gaze ripped free of his face, scanning the door and letting the small ball of heat expand in my stomach and chest.

Elio used his hands to lift me gently before yanking me down, burying his dick in me with a satisfying grunt, his length reaching deeper, the tip rubbing gently against my prostate. The moment I felt that blessed, blissful pressure, a moan broke free of my strangled throat.

Some otherworldly force took hold of me. It didn’t care about discomforts or dangers, didn’t know about the limits. It made me move back and forth, up and down, until I dug my fingernails into Elio’s hard pecs and bounced on him with loud smacks of bare flesh on bare flesh.

That moment, when passion blinds you and takes total control over you, was like staring into the face of god. When two bodies understood one another so fully, there was no greater feeling. And Elio understood me.

He pulled me down hard, thrusting his hips and giving me his all, and I took it with just a gasp, slamming myself down on him and letting our bodies pay the price. The danger, the risk, the delicious knowledge that someone walking through the door could ruin my life in an instant and I wouldn’t regret it was more than I could take.

I dragged myself forward and backward, rubbing against Elio while taking him deep into my body, and leaned down to kiss him.

He bent his knees, pressed his heels into the recliner, and used his incredible strength to launch his hips up, ramming his dick into me like he never could before. I would bet my life on this, though I didn’t know it for a fact. You’ll never think of a girl again , I thought, kissing him deeply, my tongue exploring his mouth. It was as though I could make him more mine if I just dragged him into my freaks and kinks. If he went far with me—further than he’d never been—he wouldn’t want to go back. He would be mine forever. If nothing else, the secrets we shared would keep him near me.

So I took his left hand and pressed it against my ass, navigating his fingers to the place of the greatest pleasure of my life until his fingers and mine felt his cock filling me mercilessly. Without hesitation, I pressed his fingers harder. “Inside, El,” I whispered over his lips. “I want more of you.”

I could feel his breath hitching in his throat. A beat followed, and then he thrust his hips higher, ramming himself into me just as his index finger slipped into the tight space of my hole.

I cried into his mouth once, then bit his lip and hissed through my teeth. It wasn’t painful. Pain was something that carried no weight here. It was simply different—a wholly different sort of intimacy. I wanted him to feel it on the tip of his finger, this thing we were doing.

My dick pulsed, and my hole clenched instantly, making Elio grunt. I knew it felt good. I knew it was an eye-popping sensation at the base of his cock that made him want to explode. I knew his heart was leaping, soaring through unseen heights, when I closed my hands on his pecs and pressed him hard against the recliner.

His curly hair was matted with sweat, and his face shone in the pale moonlight. A thin layer of perspiration covered his body, slick under my palms, and I explored his torso, grappling and groping, feeling him with all I had.

“Just like that, El,” I said.

“Jax,” he whispered in a heated breath. “Fuck, I…oh, Jaxon.” His voice cracked, and he pushed his finger deeper into me, his dick sliding in and out as he tensed his abs and lifted his hips off the recliner.

My name on his lips, when we were naked and more sinful than Lucifer himself, more indulgent than the richest kings of ancient times, was unlike anything I’d known before.

Lost in our sighs and gasps, I surrendered my soul to the moonlight and to Elio. I gave in to my deepest, darkest desire to not just have him all for myself but to have him where anyone could catch us.

For a moment, clarity threatened to shake me into awareness. He would never forgive me if we were caught. He would never look at me if this was the way he came out. But the dirty danger of the possibility looming over us when we were so far lost in the heat of our passion only made me want to push it further.

Not yet , I begged him as his breaths grew shallower. Make it last .

Elio’s finger slipped out of my body, its slickness apparent when he grabbed my ass and yanked me down on his cock, penetrating me deep and slamming my body against his. My balls pressed against his abdomen, and my dick throbbed, swinging with each leap.

I kissed Elio again, taking his tongue into the depths of my mouth. He didn’t shy away from becoming one with me, body and soul, and I loved him all the more for it. I did love him. Years had gone by, and I’d done my very best to hate him, but I never could. Beneath the anger, beneath the need for revenge, I loved him more than I loved life itself.

Elio sat up. His arms wrapped around my waist, his chest pressing against mine, and he swung me back and forth. The movement was small, just enough to shift the angle of his cock inside me, pressing against my prostate back and forth, but that wasn’t the point. What mattered was this insurmountable need for closeness.

I reached around and took his hand off the small of my back, dragging it up my torso, letting him feel my tight, tensing muscles, letting him worship my body for a sweet moment before I dragged his hand to my throat. “Hold me,” I begged.

Elio didn’t need further instructions. His hand closed around my throat, cutting the flow of air to a minimum, making my heartbeats slow down and throb in my head.

“Fuck,” I croaked, voice raspy, and gripped his wrist as Elio used his hand and my neck to drag me down his length. “Harder.” My voice was simply air squeezing through my tight throat. My eyes watered. I wanted this desire for disaster exorcised out of me, and this was the only way I could think to get it done.

“Jax,” Elio said, flinching.

“Make me come,” I whispered.

Elio’s other hand found my cock and closed around it, stroking its length while he held my throat.

He stared into my eyes, exerting himself to the maximum as he swung his hips and fucked me, his hands working me everywhere that mattered. I held on to him, both hands wrapped around his forearm, and let myself be carried into the soaring heights that were followed by the endless plunge of the orgasm that rocked my body.

Hot cum spilled over Elio’s fingers and sprayed my stomach and his. The sensation spread through my nervous system until I could feel the same tingling in my toes and in my fingertips, in my eyes and ears and balls, deep inside my stomach and in my heart.

Elio’s hand around my throat relaxed, letting me suck in a deep breath of sweet, cooling air, and I moved my hips quickly to bring Elio to the edge that I had just leaped off.

His breathing quickened. His hand still worked my cock, making me pant and moan, and I moved it away when the sensation grew too intimate and intense to go on.

I lifted his hand while I rode him and brought the back of it to my lips. Heartbeat by delicious heartbeat, I sucked and licked off the cum that cooled on the back of his hand, letting him watch with a mixture of surprise and newfound lust. Without flinching, I shoved his hand away and slammed my lips against his, letting him taste me off my own tongue.

He throbbed instantly, his dick pumping inside my body, filling me with his cum. He kept on kissing me hungrily, sucking my tongue into his mouth with a desperation that turned me on anew, and I rode him without giving him a moment to breathe and rest.

And it was done. Over.

At the journey’s end, I lay on top of Elio’s collapsed figure, holding on to him while sweat and cum and secrets grew cold and dry on our bodies. I held on to him, biting his earlobe lazily, my nose buried in his rich, wild hair, taking in the scents of his shampoo.

We’d made it safe to the other side, though we were still at risk of being caught naked on the lounger on the shared roof.

The slowly dawning realization of what I’d made us do threatened to unravel me, so I shut it out of my mind and whispered into Elio’s ear. “We better get dressed.”

“You’re right,” he agreed, but he wouldn’t unlock the hold his arms had around my body. “I’m just struggling to let you go.”

The words nearly overwhelmed me, but he let go after all, and we dressed in silence. He was still, peaceful, gazing up at the full moon, which reached the zenith just now. A wispy cloud dragged across the sky and hid part of the moon from our vision, but more than half of it still glowed like a thick roll of cheese.

I stepped up behind Elio and wrapped my arms around his body, pressing us together. The fact that my crotch was pressed so hard against his ass didn’t escape either of us. Elio’s neck tensed, but I kissed it.

“Do you ever want to…um…switch?” he asked, voice going dry on the last word.

I kept kissing his neck. It had crossed my mind. Part of it was a vengeful, evil little person that was still stuck deep inside me. Yeah , it thought. I wanna fuck your brains out and leave you a broken heap on the floor, drowning in my cum . But I wanted that person to die. I wanted that person disposed of without ceremony, tossed overboard into the abyss.

“Only if you’d like that,” I said.

“You’re not…strictly…?” he mumbled and trailed off.

“Bottom? No. I lean that way, though,” I said. “But I’ve topped before.”

“You’re tensing again,” I said, chuckling. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t insist if you’re not sure.”

“What? No. That’s not…” He fell quiet and cleared his throat. His hand rose to cover mine where it rested on his chest, my arm still wrapped partly around his body. In the voice of someone who was clearly guilty and couldn’t get away with it, he said, “I hate thinking of you with other guys.”

I couldn’t hold my hand back from pressing him tighter, pulling his body closer against mine. “Are you the jealous type?”

“Don’t know,” Elio said. “I haven’t been jealous before. Then again, I’ve never been with someone I wanted just like this.”

“Like what?” I asked, begging to be indulged.

“Like…” Elio began and wandered off, then turned around to face me. “Like this.” He looked into my eyes, towering above me and shading me from the moonlight. His beautiful eyes were so intense and focused on me as he leaned down and kissed me. It wasn’t a kiss like any I’d ever had before. The physicality of it was unchanged—lips pressed together, noses sliding and settling next to one another, cheekbones meeting lightly—but the feeling was different. It felt like a desire of a whole different kind. It felt like the yearning for a forever that was still so distant and unlikely.

I knew the dangers of this. Not just of fucking under the starry sky but of leading a guy through his first gay experiences and having to give him up when one man wasn’t enough in this short, fleeting life.

I’d been left behind before, quite politely, if I may say so. “It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t see myself in a relationship, you know?” I’d heard it so many times that the approximate number would condemn me as promiscuous.

He kissed me, and I let go of those fears for a moment. Whatever came next, I would welcome it. After the first time, I’d expected him to freak out and run away. Now, I feared him going away to screw the whole new world of young, hot possibilities. One day, I would either be proven right, or I would stop being so fucking afraid.

When he pulled his head away and looked into my eyes, my knees buckled. “Like that?” I asked.

He nodded.

We held one another’s gaze for a while longer, and then I pulled him into a hug. “Stay with me.”

“Yes.”

Taking his hand into mine, I led him away from the roof and the moon and the stars into the safety and discretion of my room. Locking the door, I leaned against it and watched as Elio crossed my room, thanking the stars that he was really here.

Then, pushing myself away from the door, I followed him to the bed.