Page 41 of Cooking Up a Christmas Storm (Highland Cookery School #2)

As Veronica had anticipated, Bella and Adam were both in the kitchen, heads bent over her laptop. Bella grinned as they came in. ‘What do you think about cranachan for dessert on Hogmanay? When does tradition tip into cliché?’

‘I think it sounds great.’ Jodie nodded. ‘What’s cranachan?’

Bella shook her head. ‘I don’t know why I even ask you food questions.’

Jodie tried to smile. ‘Everything you make tastes amazing.’

‘And that’s why we like you.’

Adam looked up for the first time. ‘Grandmother?’ He looked from Veronica to Jodie. ‘What’s wrong? Has something else happened with McKenzie?’

‘No.’ Veronica took a seat at the island. ‘This is something else. Go on.’

Jodie took a deep breath in. There was nothing she could say that would make this all right. There was no reasonable explanation. ‘I’m Jodie Simpson.’

Bella laughed. ‘You’re not undercover now, Gem.’

‘Good commitment to the part though,’ Adam added.

She looked to Veronica for help. None was forthcoming. ‘No. I really am Jodie Simpson. When you rang to offer Gemma the job – well, she was my ex, and she’d already moved out and I answered the phone and…’ There was more she could say but she suspected they could fill in the details from here.

‘What?’ Bella shook her head. ‘But I rang and you said… and you’re Gemma.’

Jodie shook her head.

‘So who are you?’ Adam asked.

‘I am Jodie. Gemma was my girlfriend and we split up, and I lost my job and I couldn’t make my rent and I was wishing for a miracle and then, I know it’s not an excuse, but then the phone rang and it was you and I realised you’d never actually seen Gemma and…

I’m really sorry.’ Jodie could have hit herself around the head.

She should have said that first. ‘So sorry. And you’ve been so good to me and I hated lying but I didn’t know what to do and I really have tried to do a good job but I’m not Gemma. All that experience isn’t me.’

Bella shook her head. ‘But you wrote the plan. The whole Hogmanay thing was your idea?’

‘Gemma’s idea.’

Adam stared at her. ‘I don’t know what to say.’ He turned to his grandmother. ‘You knew this?’

Jodie jumped in. ‘She found out tonight. She said I had to tell you straight away.’

He nodded. ‘And if she hadn’t found out? Would you have told us at all?’

Bella looked up too, waiting for the answer. They wanted her to say yes. Of course she’d have told them. She couldn’t feed them another lie. ‘I don’t know. I think I wanted all of this to be true so much. Like if I tried hard enough I could be Gemma. It wouldn’t be a lie any more.’

She saw the look Adam and Bella exchanged. Adam turned back to her. ‘Does Pavel know?’

‘No.’

Adam closed his eyes. ‘You need to go and tell him.’

Of course she did.

‘Right now,’ he added.

‘Right. I’ll pack as well. I understand you want me out.’

Bella held a hand up. ‘Go and talk to Pavel.’ She nodded to Adam. ‘We need to talk about this as well. We’ll see you in the morning.’

‘I really am sorry.’

Bella nodded. ‘In the morning.’

The walk back to the Dower House was about two minutes.

That didn’t matter. Twenty years wouldn’t be long enough to find the words to undo all the damage she was about to cause.

The thought of breaking Pavel’s heart was the heaviest thing she could imagine.

And she was about to do it and she was going to have to look him in the eye when she did.

And whatever she said to make it better wouldn’t be enough. She’d tried to take something that wasn’t for her. A job. A life. A love.

She opened the door to the Dower House and was greeted by Pavel almost before she was inside. She let him pull her into his arms and kick the door shut behind them. She let him pick her up from the ground and press his lips to hers. ‘You took your time,’ he murmured.

‘Sorry.’

‘You’re here now.’ That was true. She was. Why couldn’t they have that one more night? His heart was going to be trampled either way. Why not let them both have one more night before everything fell apart?

‘Did you find the bedroom?’

‘I found four. You’ll have to show me to your favourite.’ He lowered her to the floor and she took him by the hand.

‘In here.’

He looked around. ‘I see what you mean about the décor.’

‘We can turn the lights out.’

He shook his head. ‘I want to be able to see you.’

Jodie nodded her assent. She wanted that too.

She wanted to store every detail of this night in her memory – every touch, every taste, every inch of his face, the creases around his eyes, the stubble on his chin, the way his brow furrowed ever so slightly when she teased him.

She wanted to drink it all in and hold on to it all.

Whatever came next she’d always have this night.

Later, when they’d finished and rested and begun again, she sat astride him, legs wrapped tight around his hips, torso pressed to torso, staring into his eyes. ‘This is perfect,’ she whispered.

‘Completely.’

‘I wish we never had to stop.’

‘We don’t.’

Jodie bent her head and buried her face into his neck. If only that was true.

Pavel slept beside her, solid and easy and calm. Jodie lay awake, not even trying to sleep. Sleep would simply hasten the arrival of the morning and the morning was when everything would come to an end.

At half past five she rose, quietly, pulling her clothes from yesterday on, and then as silently as she could, stuffing the rest of her stuff back into her case.

Her sleep-deprived brain knew two things.

Right now she had two different futures ahead of her.

Both of them broke Pavel’s heart, but she only had to see it happen in one of them.

She’d been right. She was far more of a coward than he was.

She stopped in the doorway for one last look, desperately trying to imprint the image of him in her mind so she could hold him there in the long, awful nights she knew were ahead. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she whispered, picked up her case and set out into the dark of the early morning.

Jodie carried her case through the courtyard so the scrape of the wheels on the cobbles didn’t wake anyone in the castle. She stopped by the kitchen door, hurried inside, dropped an envelope on the kitchen island and left.

She was more prepared this time. It was Monday.

That meant the school minibus that took the kids to Lochcarron for the week would be picking up in the village at quarter past six, and out here the drivers were used to waifs and strays hopping aboard as the only way of getting anywhere useful.

She’d be in Lochcarron in time to get the bus to Strathcarron to pick up a train.

And thanks to the wondrous benevolence of the McKenzie estate she had enough money in her bank account to get her far enough away to regroup and work out what she could do next that would leave less pain in her wake.

She took one last look back towards the castle as she hopped on the bus.

This was the best thing. It saved Bella and Adam, who were good and kind and generous, from the pain of having to look her in the eye and tell her she had to go.

And there was nothing she could have said to Pavel that would make this better.

There was only one thing she could say to him and she’d put that in her letter.

Adam and Bella would explain it better than she ever could.

Sunlight was already streaming through the thin curtains when Pavel woke up.

For a second he wasn’t sure why he was waking up under a floral counterpane rather than his own simple blue duvet, and then of course he knew.

He’d stayed with Gemma. He smiled. He’d slept better than he had for years and woken without the niggling sense in the back of his head that he had to get up, had to push on, had to make himself useful.

He felt quite at ease lying back and waiting for his girlfriend to return.

He listened out for the sounds of her in the kitchen or the shower, but the cottage was quiet.

Pavel reached for his phone on the floor and checked the time.

Already half past eight. She was most likely up and off to work already.

She could have woken him for a lift. He smiled at the idea of Gemma deciding to let him sleep.

Pavel pulled his clothes on and picked up his phone. He tapped out a text.

Morning. Are you still at Lowbridge?

Her phone buzzed on the bedside table at the other side of the bed. Great. Pavel headed over to the castle kitchen in search of life, wondering if she was already on her way over to the McKenzie estate. He should probably pick her phone up and take it over with him.

He arrived in the kitchen feeling slightly sheepish. Everyone at the castle was a friend and he knew he’d always be welcome at their table but they weren’t used to him turning up for breakfast wearing yesterday’s clothes. He braced for the inevitable teasing.

Instead he was met with silence. Adam, Bella and Darcy were all sitting at the kitchen island, but the room wasn’t full of the sort of chatter he was used to. ‘What’s up with you lot?’

‘Pav.’ Adam tilted his head. ‘How are you doing?’

‘I’m fine.’ He looked around for a mug. ‘Do you mind if I get some coffee?’

‘Course not.’ Adam nodded. ‘Get whatever you need.’

‘Coffee’s fine.’ He turned back to the group at the table. ‘Seriously, what’s up?’

Adam closed his eyes for a second. ‘She didn’t tell you, did she?’

‘Who didn’t tell me what?’ This really was starting to feel strange.

Adam looked at his fiancée. She was holding an envelope between her fingers. She passed it to Adam. ‘Why don’t we leave you to it for a minute?’

Adam nodded. Darcy followed Bella out of the room, pausing in the doorway. ‘I’m so sorry.’

‘Sit down, mate.’

Pavel did as he was told. ‘OK. You’re freaking me out a bit now. What’s happened?’

‘So Gemma.’ He rubbed his eyes. ‘Jodie. There is no Gemma. She was Jodie all along. She was pretending to be Gemma cos she needed a job and yeah…’