Page 38

C hose Body This Time

“I was trying to give good service as a demon,” he said, throwing his arms out sharply as he paced in an erratic circle. “We don’t really have to deal with the consequences of what we do. But whatever happened that night… my food pushed you through to the next level in your career, didn’t it? You said or did something that got you noticed by your boss, and now you have everything you want.” He gestured sharply at her, figuratively throwing the statement at her feet.

“It affected your friends differently. They all wanted different things, but something was holding them back and my magical meal pushed them through it. You’re welcome!” he shouted. Then he fully turned to face the door like he meant to leave, but instead he stopped and sto od there.

“We don’t choose what we get to do in this world. You choose. You tell us what you want and we provide—for a price. But whatever it is, we don’t get a choice in what it is. We can only do our best to… I could only do my best to mitigate the damage.” His voice cracked, and with it, Helena’s anger started to b leed away.

This wasn’t his fault. It wasn’t hers either. Cindy had been in trouble ei ther way.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I haven’t been fai r to you—”

“No!” he shouted, slashing the air. “Don’t do it. Don’t pity me. I can’t stand you pitying me. I’m a horrible person alright. I earned this! I just didn’t… I just did n’t want…”

“What?” she urged when he couldn’ t finish.

He lifted his head to look to the unresponsive heavens, his back still facing her. “I just didn’t want to hurt you,” he said, his voi ce thick.

She came up behind him, slipping her arms around his waist, pressing her cheek against his back.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“Don’t—” he said and tried to pull away, but she wouldn’t let him. Besides he had nowhere to go, as he was still facing the door. Instead, she came around to push him away and face him.

“Helena—” he pleaded, and then she silenced him with a kiss, pressing her lips to his while holding his face so he couldn’t p ull away.

She slipped her fingers through his hair when the kiss broke. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I was upset. And I blamed you for things that weren’t your fault when you were only trying to help me.”

He nodded with tiny shakes of his head, his face still a wreck with his unshed tears. “It’s just… when things go right, they’re miracles. And they just don’t go right so ver y often—”

She kissed him again, swallowing his words, making something go right for once in his existence. His hands hit her sides then, grasping her hips to pull her against him. Their kiss broke, and he buried his face in her half-dried hair, and she could feel him shudder in her arms as he held on.

After a long moment, she spoke. “In regard to the payment I owe you t his time—”

“No, no,” he said, straightening, sliding one of his hands against her cheek to hold her face as he gazed earnestly into her eyes. “You don’t owe me anything—”

But then she set her fingertips against his lips.

“You said that demons can be paid with mind, body … or soul?”

His eyes widened as he understood what she was offering him. “But I don’t want you that way,” he said, “Not l ike this.”

“It’s alright. I want this,” she whispered back, rising up on her toes to kiss his cheek. “Let me give this to you . Please.”

“But…” he said, still he sitating.

“What?” she said, stroking h is cheek.

He captured her fingers and kissed the back of them. “If we do this, I can’t maintain…” he indicated his own face, “this. I can’t hold this image for you when I … give mys elf over.”

She smiled. “Rafferty, I’ve already seen y ou naked.”

He scoffed. “Trust me. It’s different when … you’re in the throes of passion. Nobody wants t o see it.”

“It’s going to be fine,” she said, meeting him dead in the eye. “I love you.”

With those words, Rafferty gave in. There was nothing more for hi m to say.

This kiss was far more patient and toe-curling than the romantic pecks they had explored. With a growl, he grabbed her, lifting her to her toes, using her clothes for purchase. She wasn’t going to be nearly that patient. Instead, she scrabbled down his chest, reaching for the buttons of h is shirt.

“Just tear them,” he said on the third button. “They’ll disappear the second I tak e it off.”

She giggled as she did so, the buttons snapping and vanishing as they separated their connection to Rafferty. “Okay, I’ve never done tha t before.”

“There are going to be a lot of firsts tonight,” he said and dived back toward her for anot her kiss.

She started to work on her own clothing, which was a sweater that went down to her thighs. It only had two buttons near the top that held it in an artful fold over her shoulders that she had to undo to get her head free. While she wrangled the wooden buttons through the tangle of soft acrylic threads of the sweater, she felt Rafferty’s hands on her head, sweeping up the sides of the sweate r’s neck.

“No, don’t. Mine doesn’t disappear when you tear it,” she said before she realized he wasn’t going for the sweater, but actually pulling at the hair tie she had used to ponytail back her hair at the hospital. Sweeps of her red-gold hair, that in her mind desperately needed a brush, cascaded around her face. Rafferty patted it slowly, tracing his fingers carefully through her tresses so he wouldn’t snag anything.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathed.

She grinned, then pulled the sweater up and off, letting it drop to the ground. “How about now?” she asked with a sult ry smile.

Rafferty couldn’t say anything, only watched as she reached behind herself and unsnapped her bra, letting it drop to join the sweater.

“How a bout now?”

He fell to his knees before her like a supplicant, and she laughed at the show of passion. His arms came around her waist as he buried his face into her stomach. She ran her hands over his hair, then down his back, peeling the shirt away from him. It came away easily without a ripping sound, even though it didn’t need his arms to come through the sleeves to do so. He arched his back against her exploring hands as she ran her palms back up.

“There’s something missing,” she said as her hands lingered over the spots where his wings should be.

His head hung lowered before her, his hands holding onto her hips as she moved. Then it was strange. She could see him shift before her, his skin go gray, his horns appear curling back over his hair, and his wings forming under her hands. Yet it felt like they were always there. They didn’t shift up like they were being displaced, the wings simply were there and had alw ays been.

The wrongness feeling buzzed up her arms too, now that she saw him for what he was, but she also didn’t care. It didn’t hurt her. It was just a part of what he was. She didn’t like it, though she would never admit it to him. She could tolerate it in favor of the other things about him she hung ered for.

Carefully, slowly, she slid her fingers along the wrist-like bones of his wings. He groaned loudly. The wings rose and fell as he panted, and before she knew what was happening, he clawed at her leggings, pulling them down until she was entirely stripped in seconds. Before she realized what was happening, he dived for her, pressing his mouth into her nether region and dispelling all doubts about whether he knew what he was doin g or not.

Gasping, she grabbed at his head this time, as shudders made it difficult to keep standing. Her world exploded in sensations, and though it had been a while, she never remembered anything feeling this good. His arms came about her, grabbing her backside to add some support while his wings crested around them both. It wasn’t enough though as his work forced her to spread her legs more than she was ready to, and she lost her balance. His extra appendages prevented her from crashing completely to the ground. Instead, she was swept up into his arms, cradled against h is chest.

“Where… where are we going?” she asked, her head swimming with the heady mixture of his intense touch and an inability to breathe ag ainst it.

“To the bed,” he said, the tip of his tail coming up to caress her across the cheek as he navigated her down her slightly too narrow hall for the way he was carrying her and his wingspan. He shifted once more to his human form to accommodate the space while she cuddled her head into her shoulder, feeling perfectly safe a nd happy.