Page 84 of Contested Crown

Then, he looked up at me. “If you were using my magic to access your wolf and Basil was consuming it for his own needs, then why do I have more?”

I blinked, and it was Cade’s turn to undress. When he pulled the shirt off, I saw both of his arms covered in sleeves of tattoos. The blackberry bramble growing on his chest covered almost all the way to his navel.

Frowning, I ran my fingers across the ink. “This is way more.”

“It’s still not as much as I had at House Bartlett.” Cade fisted his fingers and frowned in concentration. Slowly, the tattoos eased off of his fingers and traveled up his arms, joining the mess of ink on his chest. “But I won’t be helpless anymore.”

I nodded, running my fingers along the hemline of my sweatshirt, trying not to feel my own shame crawling up my throat. Cade, my mate, was better able to defend me than I was able to protect him. I wasn’t even an alpha without my wolf.

It had been bad enough when I had been an alpha without a pack, but now I was so pathetic that I wasn’t even sure I still counted as a wolf at all.

“You need magic in order to access your wolf. Basil needs it to survive.” Cade looked down at his left hand, where the knuckles were still covered with the complicated pattern of tattoos. “I’m going to give you some of mine. You can keep it for as long as you need.”

Swallowing, I could feel the gratitude being eaten away by my inadequacy.

“Is that all right?” He looked up, his piercing blue eyes seeing all the way to every unspoken word that sat under my tongue. I needed to say it was fine. I needed to tell him yes, because I needed my wolf more than he needed the magic.

Instead, I said, “Does this mean that I would become your consort?”

Cade inhaled sharply, looking between his hand and my empty chest before his eyes trailed up to my neck.

“Do you want that?” Each of Cade’s words was even, no uptick at the end of his sentence to turn it into a question. It meant just as much to him as it did to me. Maybe more.

“You’re my partner,” I said, even though that wasn’t an answer. At least not the answer that either one of us needed.

“But do you want to be my consort?” This time, Cade couldn’t hide the nervousness in his expression, biting his lip quickly before releasing it, masking himself in neutrality.

I had to say something. I had to say no. He still didn’t know who I was. I had to say?—

“Yes.” Shock flooded my system, panic and a desperate desire to grab the word back, pull it into myself. “Do you want me to be your consort?”

I was deeply aware of the unfairness of the question. I had all the information. Cade had only half of it. It wasn’t fair to him.

“Yes.” The word was flat, but I could tell what it had cost Cade. The chilliness of the word told me everything I needed to know about the fear underneath it, the amount of self-control it was taking him not to run away.

“Wait, not now,” I said. An excuse, a reason that we couldn’t do it in this moment, even though we both wanted it. “I don’t want to have sex here.”

“No, not here,” Cade agreed. “I need to… find out what’s entailed.”

I blinked at him. “Wait, I thought you knew. How do you not know what goes into turning someone into a consort?”

“Iknow—obviously, I know. But the traditional ways are painful. And I don’t want that for you.” Cade stared at me. “I don’t want it to be painful for you. For now, I can give you the magic you need. Permanently.”

“By slicing it off?” I challenged. “Won’t that hurt you?”

“Miles, I can handle some pain.” Cade’s lip twisted, and I wanted to know how far that went. Exactly how much pain could Cade handle?

He reached forward again, and I should have stopped him, but I didn’t. The magic he gave me didn’t land on my neck. Instead, it spread on my chest, growing quickly like a plant in fast motion.

“I gift you my magic to use as you need.” Cade made no demand of me, no request, no requirement of loyalty or fidelity, and I felt his magic burst to life on my chest, pure power without any distinct purpose.

Instantly, I was aware of my wolf, the protective growl that vibrated through my bones, the almost aggressive way it burst into my consciousness.

Cade drew his hand back, frowning at me. “Are you okay?”

I nodded. “Why would I need your magic to access my own wolf?”

Cade frowned, clearly wondering the same thing. He leaned forward, jostling the sweatshirt in my lap. It fell to the ground with a clatter, and before I could do anything, still basking in the warmth of finally having my wolf back after so long, Cade reached down and picked it up.