How do I tell the guy I like that I’m not homeless, just a dumbass?

Wren:

Help! I accidentally got kidnapped by a hot rock star who thinks he’s doing the right thing by housing and feeding me. He thinks I’m homeless because my absent manager is the one who remembers petty details like my home address, and my broken phone is the one who knows the numbers of anyone who can prove I am who I say I am. What do I do?

Bael:

Help! My impulse control issues made me kidnap an adorable homeless guy who’s too proud to accept my help....

How do I tell the guy I like that I’m not homeless, just a dumbass?

Wren:

Help! I accidentally got kidnapped by a hot rock star who thinks he’s doing the right thing by housing and feeding me. He thinks I’m homeless because my absent manager is the one who remembers petty details like my home address, and my broken phone is the one who knows the numbers of anyone who can prove I am who I say I am. What do I do?

Bael:

Help! My impulse control issues made me kidnap an adorable homeless guy who’s too proud to accept my help. He keeps trying to get away, but I’m pretty sure he’ll starve to death if I let him go. He’s tiny, so I don’t think he’ll take up too much space on the tour bus. I just need to convince him to stay. What do I do?