Page 30 of Come to Me

I nod. Fine. "Can I say one thing?"

She smiles.

"Sure."

I wrap her in a hug, pulling her in.

"I love you. And I promise I'm not trying to get rid of you."

Her smile widens.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. If I could, I'd stay in New York for every minute that you're here."

She kisses me on the cheek. "I love you too." Extricating herself gently, she heads into the bathroom and steps into the shower, shutting the door behind her.

I hate this.

I could have been selfish. I could have asked her to stay with me then felt guilty every day I failed to get home by 6:00.

Fuck. I'm obviously being ridiculous now.

I need to get out of my head or this spiral is just going to get worse.

I look towards the bathroom.

If Ally really wants to clear her head...

There's a much better way to do it.

Chapter Seven

Alyssa

Can I do this?

The hot water pounding on my back does nothing to relax me. I try and take a deep breath but it feels rough and shallow.

I need to be stopped. I'm acting like a child, pushing my boyfriend away because I'm scared.

He's trying to help. It's not his fault I'm so incapable of expressing my feelings.

I'm afraid of doing this alone. I'm afraid to be without you for six days and now I'm supposed to do six months?

Don't leave. Stay. Say fuck the business and stay. Or ask me to change my mind. Ask me to stay with you in Los Angeles.

That's what I want to say.

But I would never put him in that position. It wouldn't be fair.

Maybe I should have put my foot down. Yes, I want to be in this play. And it's a great opportunity. It might be one of the best things I'll ever do.

But it's still so hard to do it without him.

I lean my head back, letting the water soak my hair as the anxiety rises.

I shake my head at myself in frustration.