Page 20

L aura had never seen so many orchids in her life. Most were rooted in pretty pots. The colors ranged from warm to cool. Some clashed, like the one with blue petals and pink centers.

Allison would have loved the symbolism. Laura tried to remember what each color meant. Red for strength. Purple for dignity. Orange for boldness. Yellow for friendship and new beginnings. Being surrounded by them would have made her friend happy.

Laura held that certainty in her chest as the memorial service came to a close. The setting of nature’s cathedral—cloudless, open blue sky above, the carpet of earth beneath—brought to mind Allison’s teachings of mindfulness and inner strength. Sky above us. Earth below us. Fire within us.

Allison’s fire had been extinguished. And those who loved her, who came to pay their respects, had to learn to live without her—to move on. It was as simple and as hard as that.

Laura waited in line with her brothers to lay a rose on Allison’s coffin. Over a hundred people had come to pay their respects from Sedona, Mariposa and across the country—yoga and meditation students, her friends and, of course, her brother, who had sat alone in the first row.

Alexis met Laura on the green. “It was nice, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Laura said. “Funerals are never easy, but this one made the last few weeks better somehow.”

“It reminds me she’s at peace,” Alexis explained.

“She is,” Laura murmured.

Alexis searched the crowd. “If you’re looking for a tall, dark and handsome detective, he’s doing well to avoid people over there.”

She saw Noah’s lone figure and her heart gave a squeeze.

“You know you could have let me in on your secret,” Alexis told her.

Alexis wasn’t accusing or unhappy with her. Still, the guilt came for Laura. “I know. I never thought for a second you would give me or Noah away. And I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to realize how the lies would hurt others.” She found Joshua mingling, grave-faced, with some former Mariposa guests. “I regret that now.”

“Tell me one thing,” Alexis said. “That conversation we had at Annabeth—next to those poor shrimp?”

Laura thought about it, then closed her eyes. “Oh. The shrimp.”

“You talked about you and Noah spending the night together. Was that part of the act?”

Laura shook her head silently.

“So the two of you really...” Alexis trailed off when Laura nodded. “But he’s over there. And you’re over here.”

“Precisely,” Laura said with a weary sigh.

“What happened?” Alexis asked.

Laura felt relieved she was free to tell Alexis everything. Still, she found it hard to explain what had gone wrong the night Doug was arrested. “I broke a promise to him.”

“What kind of promise?”

Laura shifted her feet. Her heels poked through the bed of grass, making her reposition them for balance. “He lost Allison in the worst way possible. And before that, he lost his mother similarly. He doesn’t get close to people because he’s afraid of losing them.”

Alexis’s eyes strayed to the marks on Laura’s neck that were visible above her knotted black scarf. “He almost lost you, like he lost them.”

“I promised him the night before I wouldn’t confront Doug like I did Roger and Dayton Ferraday,” Laura admitted.

“Why did you?” Alexis asked.

“I thought he was going to hurt someone else or already had. It was the same way when Tallulah told me that Bella had been hurt. I didn’t think.”

“You went into mama-bear mode.” Alexis nodded. “I get it.”

“Those men brought terror, rape and murder into my home,” Laura said. “They brought it into a place where those things were never meant to exist.”

“Have you told the man this?” Alexis asked.

“We haven’t spoken since the hospital. He said he needed time.”

“Allison would take this moment to remind us that time is fleeting,” Alexis said, “and there’s no time like the present.”

“She would,” Laura admitted.

“Is that Bella?” Alexis pointed her out in the crowd.

Laura shaded her eyes with her hand and waved when she spotted the young woman standing close at Tallulah’s side. “Yes.”

“Is it true she’s coming back to Mariposa?” Alexis asked.

“Not yet,” Laura said. “She still needs to heal. But I think she will, eventually. Tallulah won’t be happy unless she has her under her wing. And I think Bella’s learning how strong she really is.”

“We’ll all take care of her,” Alexis asserted. “Not just Tallulah.”

Laura couldn’t agree more. “Are we still on for Taco Tuesday?”

“Absolutely,” Alexis confirmed. “The Tipsy Tacos’ owner called to say they’re planting a tree in Allison’s name in the courtyard where they’re opening up the space for outdoor dining.”

“I love that,” Laura declared.

Adam and Joshua walked to them. “We’re going to pay our respects to Noah,” Joshua told Laura. “Want to come?”

She took Adam’s arm when he offered it. “Of course.” To Alexis, she said, “We’ll talk later.”

“You know it,” Alexis returned.

As the three Coltons ventured closer to the tree line, Laura watched Noah. She knew the moment he spotted them. He didn’t so much stiffen as still—like a deer in the headlights. Laura felt her stomach flutter with nerves.

Sensing her agitation, Adam whispered, “Steady on, Lou,” and curled his hand around hers.

She fought the inclination to lean on his solid form, especially as the distance to Noah shrank to inches and, suddenly, they were face-to-face.

“It was a beautiful service,” Joshua told him.

“You did well,” Adam pointed out.

Noah looked past them to where the coffin stood. “Thanks,” he replied. Sliding his hands into the pockets of his black suit jacket, he shrugged. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do with all the orchids.”

“You could take some home and donate the others to the hospital or nursing homes,” Joshua suggested. He glanced at Laura and Adam in question. “Didn’t we do that when Mom...?”

“That’s right.” Laura smiled at him softly. “We did.”

Noah cleared his throat. “You guys reached out to help, and I refused it. I just want you to know I appreciate the offer.”

“We’re going to miss her,” Joshua said. “Allison was the kind of light the world needs.”

Noah lowered his head and nodded. “She was.”

Laura could hardly stand to watch his shoulders rise and fall over a series of hard breaths.

“We’re dedicating the plaque to her in the meditation garden tomorrow evening at six,” Adam said quietly. “You should come. The plan is to light a paper lantern and let it fly. Laura and Alexis will light it. We’d like you to be the one who releases it.”

Noah kept his head down. He bobbed it in a solitary nod. “I can do that.”

Joshua reached out. He grabbed Noah’s shoulder. “You need anything, Detective, call me. Penny’s available whenever you need a long country drive. I can accompany you as a guide...or as a friend.”

Noah looked at him with the light of surprise. “Thank you.”

Adam reached out to shake his hand. “I’m holding on to Allison’s fund. I don’t care if it’s now or thirty years from now. If you think of something you’d like to do in her name, all you need to do is let me know.”

“I’ll remember,” Noah pledged.

Adam looked at Laura. “You need a minute?”

She nodded. “Please.”

“We’ll wait by the car,” Joshua told her before he and Adam strolled off.

Noah ran his eyes over her. He pulled a long breath in through the nose, his chest inflating. “You look stunning,” he said on the exhalation.

She lifted a hand to the neck of her dress. “That’s sweet of you.”

He glanced around at the lingering mourners, unsure what to say or do.

Laura reached out, then stopped. “Are you all right?” she asked.

“No.”

He didn’t dress it up or deflect. That was something.

“What can I do?” she asked. He hadn’t accepted help with the service. He would hardly lean on her now, she knew. Still, she had to ask.

“You’re here,” he replied simply.

“Of course I am,” she murmured.

“Let me look at you a minute,” he requested after some thought. “Would that be okay?”

She nodded. “More than okay.”

He took a step back. His eyes didn’t dapple over her. They reached. The yearning in them, the necessity, made her heart stutter. They started at her feet before winding up the path of her skirt to her waist, her navel, her bodice, before landing on the bruising that hadn’t yet faded from her neck. He blinked several times, lingering there, before circling her face.

She saw so many things in him, and they matched what was inside her—regret, need, longing, hesitation... There was so much she wanted to say to him. I miss you. I love you.

Please, lean on me. Just...lean.

Her breath rushed out. “Noah.”

He muttered a curse. “Part of me wants to chase these people off so I can have a single moment alone with you.”

A match touched the dry tinder inside her. Hope flared as the fire caught.

“What would you do with that moment?”

His tungsten-green eyes spanned her face. They landed on her mouth as he answered quietly. “Beg.”

Her breath caught. “No.”

“Yes,” he argued. “I told you I needed time. But I should’ve called. I should’ve checked on you.”

She smiled knowingly. “Adam told me you called him to check on me. Every day.”

“I should’ve grown a pair and called you,” he grumbled.

“Why didn’t you?” she asked. The distance had convinced her he didn’t want this—whatever they’d made between them. And it had hurt—more than the bruises on her throat.

“Because I’m a goddamn coward,” he said plainly. He paused, considering. Then he closed the distance to her. “You still want to know my secrets, Laura?”

She could smell the light touch of cologne he’d put on his skin. The flame popped, lighting little fires everywhere else inside her to catch and grow, too. “Yes,” she breathed.

“I’m hands down, one hundred percent, head over heels in love with you,” he said.

She closed her eyes. “You don’t have to—”

“I do,” he asserted. “I didn’t call. Not because I couldn’t move past what happened the night of the arrest. I didn’t call because I’ve been grappling with the fact that you are the only woman in this world that I want. You’re the only person I want next to me. And I don’t deserve you, because what kind of man walks away from Laura Colton? What kind of man runs from the chance to be yours?”

“It’s okay—”

“No, it’s not.”

“But it is,” she said, bringing her hands up to his lapels. She traced them with her palms, caressing him as his lungs rose and fell under them. “We’re both here now. You’re saying these things. And you won’t walk out again. Will you?”

He gripped her wrist. He didn’t pull her away. Instead, he touched his brow to hers. “No.” He ground out the word. “I won’t walk out again.”

They stood together as a strong breeze swept across the cemetery, lifting flowers and hats into the air. Laura felt the skirt of her maxidress flapping around them like wings, but she didn’t move.

As the wind died down in increments, she said, “Tell me another secret.”

He made a noise. After a moment, he answered. “I used to braid her hair when she was too little to do it herself.”

She smiled at the image. “Softy.”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “She was the only person who knew that side of me—until you.”

“Say more things,” she requested.

He thought about it for a second. Then he lifted his wrist, pulling back the cuff of his jacket sleeve. Here, she’d noticed he carried a solitary feather on the inside of his arm. “This was my first tattoo. It’s my favorite.”

“You do have a favorite,” she mused, touching it.

He nodded, his head low over hers as she traced the feather’s shaft. She heard his slow inhalation and knew he was smelling her hair. “It’s for my mother.”

“Oh, Noah,” she sighed.

“Every Christmas, I drive up to Washington and retrace my steps with her there. I go to the coast and hole up in a cabin we used to rent in the summer. I don’t have anything of hers. We didn’t have much. And everything that was hers got lost after she was killed. I only have memories. Every year, I’m afraid I lose more. I go to the cabin to remember, because if I don’t, did she really even exist?”

“Yes,” Laura assured him. “You’re proof of that. Not just because you’re here. Because you are the man you are—the kind that would take care of a little girl who had no one. The kind who puts bad guys behind bars and who does your sister and your mother proud every day.”

He turned his lips to her cheek and kissed her softly. Lingering.

“I want this,” she told him, her hands grabbing his lapels. “I want you. And if you try to tell me again that someone like you doesn’t deserve me, I’ve got some ideas how my brothers can alter that line of thinking.”

“Coyotes?”

“There’s a gorge, too,” she added. “What do you say, Detective?”

He scanned her, and his eyes were so tender they made all those little fires inside her hum. “I’m going to keep calling you Pearl,” he warned.

“I’m used to it.”

He nudged the pearl drop on the end of the gold necklace she hadn’t taken off since he’d put it there. “My pearl.”

When he said it like that, she shuddered and understood. “Do you want me? Do you want this?”

“Yes,” he said, finite. “I want you. All of you.”

She brought her hands up to his face. “Then you should know,” she said, “I’m hands down...” She canted her head at an angle. “One hundred percent...” She skimmed a kiss across his mouth. “Head over heels in love with you, too.”

His hands caught in the belt of her dress. “Come home with me,” he said, whispering the words across her mouth.

“What about Sebastian?”

“Bring him.”

“You don’t like pets.”

“I said I’ve never had one.”

“You do now. I’m going to need my own drawer.”

“Baby, you can take the whole damn closet. I’ll have a key made for you. Just stay with me. Please.”

She heard the plea and melted. “We both know my answer.”

“I need to hear it,” he told her. “Say yes.”

“Yes,” she told him. “I’m coming home with you, Noah. And I’m staying.”

When he kissed her, his intensity brought her up to her toes. Incapable of letting go, she wrapped him in her arms as his banded around her waist.

Laura knew he would be the fire her heart would warm itself by for a long time to come.