Page 44 of Collided (Bellmare High #1)

44

Hope

It’s Wednesday and I’m sitting in the loud cafeteria waiting for my friends. In two months these three people have made me someone who likes to sit in a boisterous room rather than in a quiet nook of a library—I mean I still like that, but if I have to choose, I’ll choose them.

Marie barrels to our table in excitement with a grinning Sebastian following her, his eyes fixed on her and filled with love.

“We’re here,” she announces as she puts down the bags of takeout food and sits across from me.

“You were quick,” I say.

“I placed my order during the class.” She purses her lips in thinking. “I should do it more often. It saves time.”

“Totally.”

“I wanted to talk about something.”

“Yeah, sure.” I put aside my novel and wait for her to open the bags.

I missed breakfast because my parents were in the kitchen, and I had no desire to get in their way if I could avoid it.

Marie opens the bag as if she can read my mind. I start with fries and almost smile at finally finding something to eat.

Sebastian presses a kiss to her forehead and thanks her when she gives him his bucket of chicken tenders. It reminds me of Heath. He loves them too.

Marie turns to me, blushing hard. “What was I saying?”

“You were going to tell me.” I add, “You looked excited.”

“I can’t remember.” She taps her head hard and turns to Sebastian. “Your kiss just made me forget it.”

He chuckles. “Now you know how I feel.”

She frowns. “What do you mean?”

Smiling softly, he says, “When you kiss me, I forget everything else. Only you exist in my mind.”

With a grin, she nods. “That’s exactly what’s happening to me right now.”

“I love you, my silly girl.”

“I love you too, my brainwasher boy.”

“You guys are like a book couple,” I end up saying because they’re so cute.

Marie’s grin widens. “Thanks. We try really hard.”

Laughter escapes me and soon the three of us are in a fit. A lot of heads turn in our direction with curious eyes and whispers that haven’t gone away, even though it’s been months since we’ve been hanging out. Sebastian and Heath attract the attention of everyone—the girls—and Marie and I are the invisible ones which is fine by both of us.

“Have you ever been to the fair?” Marie asks.

I know about the annual fair that takes place in October and is a big event. There are rides, food, drinks, and a variety of stalls selling handmade and local things to the tourists and the newcomers who specifically come to attend it.

The fair is a blast and the talk of Bellmare until Christmas. Everyone attends it no matter what.

I’ve never attended it. I’m not an enthusiast of places that are crowded and noisy. It isn’t my scene.

“No.”

Marie looks stunned. “Tell me you’re kidding.”

I shake my head.

Of course, it’s odd that I haven’t been to an event that’s so famous, but I have my reasons. I chose to not go. But now, after meeting these people, I want to go.

I feel him before I see him.

My heart starts racing and blood rushes to my cheeks, even before the chair next to me scrapes against the floor drawing the attention of a lot of people around us.

Don’t look at me, people.

I’m not here.

When I check, sure enough, girls and guys are gazing at the two of us while talking to their friends. I wonder what they’re saying. Scratch that. I’m anxious about what they’re saying about us—me.

Heath sits next to me and just like that, he’s the only one I can focus on.

I tilt my head to meet his steady stare that’s now perfectly aligned with mine.

“Hi,” he says in a deep voice.

My throat goes dry, and my head goes blank.

What’s the word for greeting?

“Hi,” I reply in a scratchy voice that isn’t cool at all but makes his lips quirk up in amusement.

We stare at each other and the entire world fades away. Only he and I exist.

Marie snaps her fingers between us. “Love birds focus!”

Blush rises to my neck.

Clearing my throat, I look away from him, but he doesn’t as if he physically can’t.

“I can’t believe you haven’t been to the fair. Everyone attends it.”

I resume playing with my hands underneath the table, feeling embarrassed that I haven’t been there, not even once.

“Some just don’t fucking attend, Blondie,” Heath counters back in a stern voice.

Something passes between them. Then Marie turns to me. “You can attend with us this year.”

My breath hitches. “Are you sure?”

She beams. “Of course. I’d pick you up from your house so we can get ready at my place.”

Oh no. Not my house.

I don’t want Marie anywhere near my dad. Even if the driveway is a good several feet away from the front porch. There’s a chance he’ll pounce on her because of me for some delusional reason. I can’t let that happen.

“I’ll go to your place,” I say instead.

“Or we can get ready at Heath’s place. He lives near me.” Marie bats her eyelashes at Heath who shoots her a glare.

“My house is not a fucking salon,” he grumbles.

“It’ll be easier for Hope. She knows the route to your house.”

Heath looks down at me. “Will you be able to get there, or do I have to pick you up?”

“I’ll get there.”

“I’ll pick you up.”

When I open my mouth to fight him, he narrows his eyes.

Marie breaks the tension. “It’s decided then. We’ll all meet at Heath’s house and then drive to the fair together.”

“Is anyone left? Or maybe we should bring the whole fucking town to my place,” Heath says sarcastically.

Marie snaps her fingers. “That’s a great idea.”

Heath rolls his eyes. “It’s fucking not.”

“You’ll have fun,” Sebastian assures me, then turns to Marie. Both of them talk in quiet voices.

“You aren’t eating,” Heath points out.

Well, I can’t exactly tell him that I ran out of fries and it’s the only thing I’m craving right now.

“I’m not hungry.”

Heath looks irritated but rummages through the bags, takes out the fries, and hands them to me. “Eat.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“If you are not going to feed yourself, then I will.”

“You aren’t serious.”

His arm rests on the back of my chair, and he leans in closer. “I’m always serious when it comes to you.”

I turn my head away and a strand of my hair comes to the front, concealing me from his view.

Perfect timing hair strand. Hide me.

The way Heath looks at me with sheer concentration makes my heart beat a thousand miles per minute and my mind forgets how sentences and words are made. I swear I forget the English language.

He breaks my thoughts by holding that hair strand and gently tucks it behind my ear. His warm fingers slide over the side of my neck like silk mixed with gravel because of the calluses he’s got from fighting. It’s a strange combination of soft and rough, yet in the perfect proportion.

Bending down to my ear, he speaks in a low, dark voice. “I see you.”

My pulse pounds loudly in my ears.

If he presses his skin against mine, he’ll be able to feel the beats of my erratic heart or how warm I am despite the cold temperature in the room.

After a long moment, he moves away, and I want to protest. As much as his closeness unsettles me, I want it because it’s the good kind. I’m not afraid of him because he’ll hurt me, but what he might make me feel if we cross the line. I’m nervous but excited too because I trust him. I trust him with myself.

Heath puts a book on my lap. I look closely and realize it’s my copy.

“How do you have it?” I pick it up and flip through the pages. I see annotations that are in a different handwriting and in pencil—those are his thoughts.

“You left it in my room.”

When I see remarks on one of the spicy scenes, I want to dig my own grave and bury myself in it.

He’s read those scenes. And he even left comments.

I can’t handle the shame.

“I did?” I ask in a squeak high voice that makes him smile.

“You sure did, Rose.”

Oh my God.

What’s the quickest way to escape this situation?

I need it right now.

Whatever little courage I possess, I gather it to glance at him. All I see is humor swimming through his eyes and lips that twitch from holding back a smile—he rarely gives me those smiles.

I don’t have to ask. I know he’s read it. And he knows that I know he’s read it.

What I’d give to erase this moment from the timeline; I’d give anything.

Minutes pass and I don’t say a single word.

His arm on the back of my chair touches my back. “Look at me.”

Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and do as he says.

With a pleased look, he curves in his chair so he’s completely facing me.

“I read the entire book in one fucking night,” he says.

“Huh?”

He smirks. “I feel like I can understand you much better now.”

I want to die. Drink a cup of poison or fling myself off a cliff. I’ll choose any option that’ll make it easier for me to die than to have this conversation with him out of everyone in the world.

I clear my throat. “Like how?”

I want to slap myself across the face.

Why did I ask that? Because I’m curious.

He nods in deep thought. “I know who Adrian Hayes is.”

“He’s perfect, right?” I ask with a smile. “He did so many cute things for her.”

“ And steamy things.”

Red burns my cheeks and I know I must look like a tomato.

I slip the book into my bag and try to pretend that we don’t know each other at all.

“We’ll talk about it later.” Heath smirks tight.

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

Heath looks at me with a heated gaze. I know this conversation is far from over.

“So, um, how are you?” I divert the conversation.

He frowns. “I should be asking you that. Are you hurt?”

“Not at all.”

“You aren’t fucking lying to me, right? You can talk to me. I’ll listen to you and help you.”

A true smile appears on my lips. “I’m not lying to you. I’m really fine.” I get nervous staring into his eyes, so I look at his chest instead. “You can talk to me, too. I’ll listen to you and help you, well, I don’t know if I can help you like you can help me, but I’ll try.”

Heath sighs loudly. “My face is up here, Rose.”

I keep staring at his chest. “I know.”

“Then why aren’t you looking at me?”

I gulp. “I thought I should give my eyes some rest, you know.”

You make me nervous with those beautiful blue eyes of yours.

Really. Why are they so pretty?

“By staring at my fucking chest?” I can hear the confusion in his tone.

“It’s nice.”

“And my eyes aren’t?”

That makes me look at him and I’m bewitched by his stare. He looks at me as if he’ll never get tired of the view.

My stomach fills with butterflies.

“No. Your eyes…they’re beautiful. Really beautiful.”

A muscle jumps in his jaw. “I’m going to kiss you.”

I startle. “W-what?”

He frowns hard as he moves closer to me. “Is there something fucking wrong?”

My gaze runs across the room and catches the stares of so many people who are looking at us, observing us, and talking about us. My social anxiety kicks in hard, and my nerves quiver.

His hand cups my chin and draws my face toward his. “What’s wrong?”

My lips tremble. I’m on edge from all the attention that I don’t want.

“Can we do it when it’s just the two of us?”

“Is someone making you nervous? Tell me their name—”

I grab his hand and shake my head. “No. It’s no one,” I assure him. “I’m just nervous here with so many people watching us.”

Understanding dawns on him and he pulls my face closer to his. Bending his head down, he whispers against my cheek, “I’m taking you to my secret spot after school.” Then kisses my cheek.

When he moves back, the butterflies in my stomach are soaring.

Marie squeals and pulls my attention.

“He kissed her,” she tells Sebastian who’s giving Heath an amused look.

“I saw that, babe.”

“That was so cute.”

“Indeed.”

Heath scoffs. “Don’t you two have other things to do besides watching us?”

Marie scrolls through her phone and shows us the screen. “I took a picture of you two.” She captured a moment where we were lost in each other’s eyes as Heath held my chin up.

Heath pulls out his phone. “Airdrop it to me right now.”

A few seconds later, he has the picture on his phone and we both stare at it. Then, he sets the picture as his wallpaper and my heart claws my chest open to come outside.

Switching off his phone, he turns it back on and we both see the picture that’s on his lock screen and home screen.

“I like that you’re looking at me,” he murmurs.