Page 8 of Cold-Blooded Creatures

I clenched my thighs, hoping it would eradicate my traitorous urges, and repeated my mantra consisting of three words:Get it together, get it together, get it together. On the seventh count, my body betrayed me, warming up with half a thought about him, and I knew my feet would carry me to the forest tonight even if I said no to myself a thousand times.

My muscles stiff from both the cold and heat warring inside me, I dragged myself out of the bathroom. The cracked mirror hanging by the door shimmered from the streetlights and I closed my eyes shut, not able to bear their reflection. Their shade was green, emerald green. Exactly like those wristbands each person wore in the city. A marker, an identifier of your status in our society. Green—you had a properly working reproductive system, the supposed elite, black—you were the rest, the worthless, the commoners.

I was both—the jewel and the rabble.

With my feet stuffed into a pair of well-worn gray sneakers, I leaped down the stairs and out of the residential building I’d wormed my way into getting assigned to. The deserted streets plunged me into alertness; the silence was disquieting. It was different in the city. Outside Ilasall, it soothed you, but here…it was dreadful. Like a noose around your neck, waiting for you to fall into its trap.

I sneaked through the neighborhoods full of colorless buildings seeking to pinch me down with their heaviness, pausing at the corners to listen for the telltale sign of heavy footsteps of soldiers marching past, on the lookout for issue-causing citizens, like me.

Ten blocks later, there they were, the small gates with that despicable night guard.

You’d think the circular wall containing the city would serve to shield Ilasall’s citizens from outside danger, but the truth was much more harrowing: they’d built it to keep everyoneinside.

And then propagated the idea that it was for our own good. Allegedly, the three cities had walled themselves off after a deadly disease broke out a hundred years ago and took a fifth of the fertile folks down. So the governments vowed to direct their efforts into maximizing our survival chances by eliminating any unwarranted contact between the residents.

Yet they hadn’t even bothered coming up with the name for the sickness. Truly, such a believable tale it was once you grew up and procured the prohibited history books. An evening or two reading under the kitchen window, and the lies had been unveiled.

The guard stood up straighter as I came closer. “Searching for an escape? I can help you with that,” he purred, leering at me.

My delayed answer carried the silence that was suffocating the city and everyone in it. I knew what he meant. His escape from this world was different from mine. Each time he hit the button for the metal barrier to slide into the wall, I had to provide afavor.

Pig. I was going to rip his guts out the day I was free.

But I’d pay what he demanded for now.

“Later,” I said, my tone loathing.

“Enjoy your last outing, Kali. Once they finalize the changes in security, I won’t be able to let you through anymore.”

The way he said my name stirred nausea in my gut.

He overtly shifted his weight, making himself more comfortable in his pants, and motioned toward the gate. “Only for you,” he cooed.

His price was going to be high. Tonight was the last time I could escape the pressure of everything before they updated the security system. And he knew I’d pay it. His price had been increasing each time this last week.

I faltered at the idea of being trapped inside this side of the wall for the rest of my life. They were taking away the only thing that brought me peace. Air. Life. Will.

The gates creaked open enough for me to squeeze through, and I darted outside, the expanse of the tall grass field erasing my contemplation.

My trek toward the clearing in the forest was quick, so not a minute would go to waste. Dawn threatened to fall soon, and the cloak of night would dissipate, turning my run back to my apartment perilous. So I ignored the usually comforting strokes of the forest and focused on the scent of damp soil and rotting leaves—sweet with a hint of acridness.

Pausing about ten yards away from the clearing I frequented, I lowered to my knees. A lovely golden flower swayed in the night’s breeze.

A year ago, I’d managed to acquire a book in the black market by paying my debt infavorsand had learned about a variety of plants and their toxicity levels. Though I had my sights set on eliminating the Head of Ilasall and his followers, I preferred sophisticated methods. Hardly traceable ones.

As innocent as the yellow oleander looked, a few of the petals, a dozen seeds, a generous slice of a root, or a couple of drops of sap from the stem could take down an adult.

And the best part? There was no guaranteed antidote. A high enough dosage could end anyone’s life.

Pulling on my gloves, I carefully plucked it out of the earth, checking that I had the whole plant, from the roots to the blossoms. The sheet of blank paper I’d stolen from work crinkled as I wrapped the flower in it. This plant would retainits poisonous capabilities in a dried state as well as freshly uprooted.

I hid the package in my pocket, patted the fabric of my pants to hide any outlines, and headed right for my usual spot in the middle of the circular field, instinctively scanning the tree line. But my hunt turned fruitless, and I sprawled out in the grass, switching my focus to the sky full of shimmering stars.

They flickered on and off, resembling a battle in full force. And I knew the side that would win would be the one that had coerced me into selling out the single person I’d ever loved.

Unrest tickled the back of my memory, reminding me of how the gods twinkling in the sky had ignored my pleas and forced me to hurt Alora. To damn her to become a shell of life. Alive yet more dead than a single withered blade of grass poking me in my bare ankle.

The nightmare haunting me was supposed to stay behind the Ilasall’s wall, not cling to me like a shadow.