Page 17

Today’s to-do list is packed, but my mind keeps drifting. I can’t concentrate. Kat’s smile keeps coming back to me.

I glance at my bullet journal and the endless tasks on each page, the inspirational quotes I’ve carefully copied down, my lists, everything I’d planned for today, this week, this month, and the next and the next.

Usually the journal is super comforting to me, seeing my schedule and everything organized just so.

But I realize every day is all blocked out in neat squares, without any chance for a break.

Even the weekends, like today’s plans for homework and community service organization and then helping out at the nail salon.

I slump over, resting my head on the journal. I close my eyes and take a deep breath; the date with Kat would have been the first spontaneous thing I did in forever.

Maybe I should just goof off or do something with Jenn and Erica. Most seniors are already in summer mode, barely paying attention in classes.

I flip through the journal and yesterday’s page jumps out at me. My stomach does a creaky, unhappy lurch.

brENDA NGUYê?N’S PLAN FOR HAVING A GREAT DATE!

1. Wear the V-necked T-shirt

2. Mints!

3. Ask her about herself (see page 23 for good first-date questions brainstorm)

4. Talk about your interests!

5. Flip your hair (Erica, I said you can’t write in my journal!) ( Actually, that’s a great idea) I know, right!!

I close the journal with more force than necessary. What kind of nerd plans her free time? Maybe this was why Kat changed her mind; she thought about it and didn’t think it was worth showing up.

No, no, stop. I take a deep breath; I know what the start of an anxiety spiral looks like. All I have to do is not give the fear monster any food. I sit up, new determination flowing through me, trying to push the thoughts of rejection away.

I should be proud of myself; it was a good step even if she didn’t show.

I pull out my phone where the group chat is buzzing.

I scroll past Erica bugging Jenn about coming over to D I can’t afford any of this.

I guess it doesn’t matter, since I’m just going to wear last year’s homecoming dress anyway, a boring black dress that I can easily move in, so I can do the setup and decoration with the rest of the committee.

Jenn is giggling with Erica, probably dreamily talking about how much fun prom will be, and I feel a wistful pang of longing.

Sure, it’s great hanging out at school dances, getting the thrill of pulling off another successful event, but I wonder if it would be more fun getting to do it without the responsibility.

Guess I’ll never know, since I’m the head of the prom committee this year.

I run my hands down a purple dress with a beaded trim, smiling at how it sparkles in the light, and sigh. I should get out of this section.

“Hey, I’m gonna run over to the Target and get some new folders for school. I’ll meet up with you guys later at the pretzel place,” I mumble.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna try anything on? What about that purple dress you saw?” Erica nudges my elbow, and I shake my head.

The mall is bright, too bright, filled with people who are walking too slowly and without purpose, and it annoys me, all these people with their free time and extra money to spend on new things.

This idea to have fun at the mall now seems stupid.

Maybe I should ask Erica to drop me off at the salon soon; I could get homework done there, too, if it’s slow.

I walk faster, dodging couples holding hands and a group of friends who are taking up the whole aisle.

Target beckons me forward, the aisles glowing with that warmth and tidiness that is both relaxing and exciting. As I walk through the doors, it feels unexpectedly warm and humid. Maybe their air conditioner broke or something. Weird.

Inside the cheery red store, I relax as time seems to still in this microcosm of colorful displays.

It’s so easy to lose track of time and just wander and look at things, and everything is so cute and well organized.

It’s what I love about Target; no matter where you are, they all feel the same, like you could walk into one store in one location and easily walk out in another one.

I am heading toward the furniture aisle to pick out fantasy furniture for my future apartment when I’m a successful scientist with two doctorates, but I pause in the tech section as I catch the names of the items.

I thought they were books, but on a closer look I see they’re shiny and transparent, with a radiant shimmer to them, imbued with color.

The thick glass objects range from the size of a phone to a paperback novel to a laptop, with a familiar red Target price tag marking them from a hundred to two hundred and even more.

I pick one up, feeling the solid weight of it in my hand, trying to figure out what it is.

NEW RUNEBOOKS!

ORION 4.0

DRAGON’S ENVY 3.9

They all have names, like phones, I guess. I flip one over and run my fingers down the cool glass surface. Maybe it’s a new type of gaming tablet or something. Pretty cool. Where are the circuits? How does it work?

I flip it over to read the label, and then my heart literally leaps into my throat.

SEE OUR MAGE TECHNICIANS TO SET UP YOUR NEW RUNEBOOK

Easily add contacts with any namekey

Can be used to operate a number of spells without a mage