Page 29 of Coach’s Son (Twin Cities #2)

Austin

I can’t believe Charlie missed that kick. That was the range of an extra point. He never misses those. Must have been his first one in his whole career.

I stumble inside the locker room after him, the sharp fluorescent lights shining brightly, but there’s no one in the bay. Then I hear sobbing from one of the stalls. My cleats clack against the tile, as I make my way over to the sobs, my knuckles knocking on the stall door. “Charlie…”

He sniffles his nose, a gulp swallowing down his throat.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, my heart aching for him.

“What’s wrong? Everything… I can’t make a field goal. I’ve lost my boyfriend to my brother. I’m a coward who can’t protect you. One who was afraid to protect Drew when we were young…”

“What do you mean…” I mumble. Drew doesn’t need protection. He took down a pack of wolves single-handedly.

“Our father wasn’t a good man. Drew took the brunt of it all to protect me. Our father violated him, while I swept away the thoughts. I wanted to say something, to stand up to him, but we were just kids. I told mother and laughed it off as a bad dream.”

“What?” I stutter, my mouth hanging open.

“Yeah…” he breathes, dragging in a wet sniffle that echoes in the stall. “But to Drew it wasn’t bad dreams. It was a nightmare, every night. One that he couldn’t escape. The kind that can’t be forgotten and whisked away to the vault of childhood memories.”

He pauses for a second, while I try to wrap my head around it. Huh, maybe that’s why Drew wanted me to bear his mark. A sign of his protection. To protect me from actual predators—the most vile and disgusting type.

“He lived through that terror every day, until they shipped him off when he started to fight back. And I didn’t do a bloody thing to stop. I know I should have. But I was scared… worried that my father would switch us out.”

“Did he ever do that to you…”

“No, I think he was scared off by Drew’s rebellion. Thank God, I was old enough otherwise… I’m sure I would’ve been his next victim. I can’t even imagine.”

He swallows a gulp of air. “I should’ve been braver. I should have done something to protect him. I let him bear the wrath of our father, while I was too focused on being the golden, untouchable boy.”

There’s a long moment of silence as I try to search for the right words. It’s not Charlie’s or Drew’s fault for what happened to them.

“It’s okay, Charlie… you were both just kids. Your father is a terrible man. You can’t blame yourself for what happened to Drew.”

“I know. I’m just tired of being a bloody coward,” he sniffles, shame drowning his tone.

“I don’t think you are a coward, Charlie.” I say with my chest, meaning every word.

“Really?” he mumbles.

“If you were a coward you would have called it quits, but you kept going, kept trucking along, even when I’m sure you felt like throwing in the towel. Especially after you found out what happened between me and Drew. That takes resilience to keep going.”

“I guess… but I should’ve—” he stutters.

“You couldn’t be a child and a savior, Charlie. None of this sits on your shoulders. You aren’t meant to atone for a grown man’s sins. You made it out of there and now you are flourishing. That’s not cowardice. That’s someone who’s walked through hell and come back in one piece.”

“What do I do now…” he asks, inhaling a heavy breath.

I let a smile crack on my face. “Well, are you going to come out of that stall? Or are you going to mope for the second half? We’ve got a game to win.”

I hear his feet shuffle on the floor. He cracks open the stall door, wiping away his tears. “Yeah we do.”

“Let’s join the team; I think halftime is nearly over,” I say, giving him a pat on the shoulder. The touch of my hand on his back sends a jolt of shudders through me. A warm tingly sensation.

Fuck. What kind of mess did I get myself into with these brothers?

One brother was cast in the dark, while the other was allowed to glimmer under the lights, and I’m stuck in the gravity of both. Being ripped apart by two planets orbiting different suns.

I’d be lying if I said all my feelings have dissolved for Charlie.

From that touch on his pads I wanted him to turn around kiss me madly.

Give me his cheeky smile without the malice hidden behind it.

Part of me aches to return to his side. For his gentleness.

For the boring man that he is, to satisfy me with his dullness.

But I love Drew, and after finding out what happened to him as a kid.

The horror that he lived through, I might as well slit his throat if I were to leave him.

It would be absolute betrayal. I won’t be that kind of guy.

I can’t be that guy, the one that walks out at the worst possible moment and never glances back.

Fully aware of the consequences of their actions. It might make me worse than his father.

What a vicious bind…

How long can I live, suspended between their gravities? How long before I stop being a moon and split in half—a satellite cracked into two? Charlie promises me comfort while Drew offers dangers. Both tugging me at my margins.

Just like the hems of my jersey, fraying from too many jerks. Every tug loosens another stitch until they rip apart. How long before the seams give out, and there’s nothing left to hand out. No more glue keeping these brothers from devouring each other’s throats.