Page 6 of Clarity

C larity shook her head at his approach, lifting a hand to ward him off before suddenly leaning back against the striped pink-and-cream sofa. Her eyes were squeezed tightly closed. When she clamped her other hand over her mouth, Alex realized she was ... laughing!

Against all odds, but to his great relief, Clarity was in a spasm of laughter, barely able to catch her breath. Despite being annoyed at how she had alarmed him, he couldn’t help feeling envious. He could not recall the last time he’d laughed.

Finally, she collected herself. With her cheeks still flushed, her dark blue eyes fluttered open.

“I am sorry, Alex. I wanted to protest my flaws, but I am all those things you said and more! And I believe most people enjoy my company because of them. Hearing you list your reasons not to court me, it struck me as funny beyond all measure.”

She took a deep breath and sighed before adding, “Especially when I think how we used to share some of the same qualities.”

Realizing he’d been leaning toward her while concerned and was now too close, able to catch the delicate fragrance he’d detected when they’d danced, he straightened.

“As a child, I may have partaken in any number of ridiculous, ill-conceived actions, but one should leave such behavior in the past.”

Instead of appearing regretful, she shook her head before patting the sofa cushion.

“Please sit.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“You shouldn’t sit? Why?”

“Because we are alone.”

“We are still alone if you remain standing, and you’re giving me a neck ache.”

She stared up at him with her blue eyes as dark as midnight, and he gave in and took a seat.

“In my opinion, those attributes are some of my best. What you call bold, I call adventurous and fun. And I am talkative because I enjoy engaging in lively conversation with those whose opinion I care to hear. As for impulsive, I think I am spontaneous, and that’s a far better way to live than as a stick.”

“A stick?” What on earth did she mean?

“In. The. Mud,” she clarified with emphasis. “You are far too young to be so old!”

“Old!” Surely, she couldn’t object to a man behaving maturely.

“Yes. For one thing, you will find charades are enjoyed at most every party, and turning your nose up at playing shall gain you no favor.” She shook her head. “Purity explained the situation as she sees it, and I agree. You will not be able to get a wife if you behave as you do. Or if you do snag one, she’ll marry you for your title and fortune alone.”

That seemed a rather harsh assessment, but the Diamonds were more out in society than he ever hoped to be. Thus, they must know of what they spoke.

“You think I should play charades to gain myself a wife?”

Clarity rolled her eyes. Then shockingly, she reached over and knocked her knuckles upon the side of his head. He flinched.

“What on earth are you doing?”

“Trying to knock sense into you, that’s what. It’s not merely charades, you dunce. It’s everything. If you cannot have fun, I fear you won’t like the woman you end up with. What about your children?”

This time he reared away from her. “I don’t have any.”

“I know that, but you will. Do you want them to have the wonderful childhood we had?”

“We had too much freedom and deservedly got into trouble.”

“ Drats! I thought I was having a conversation with Alex, but it seems I am now speaking with Lady Aston.”

He was taken aback. Unsurprisingly, he repeated things his aunt said, but that was because she was a woman of good sense.

“Good day, Lady Aston ,” Clarity continued. “Would you care for tea? If I recall correctly, you take no sugar. Sadly, I cannot stir in a spoonful of bitterness to make it palatable.”

Alex shook his head. She shouldn’t speak like that about the woman who’d taken on his upbringing.

Suddenly, however, her words struck him as humorous. He could picture his aunt dipping her silver teaspoon into a bowl of bitterness because she often made a waspish face when eating or drinking.

“You’re smiling,” Clarity pointed out.

Was he? His facial muscles felt stiff.

“And it’s a lovely sight to see. Now I know I am with my dear friend Alex and not his aunt. Welcome back.”

“You are behaving like a pudding-head,” he said, but he smiled again because it felt good.

“Maybe so, but better a pudding-head than a curmudgeon. Tell me, do you really wish to marry my sister?”

Clarity hoped the answer was no, but she wasn’t as offended as she’d been at first. She realized she was dealing more with his aunt’s preferences than his own. Moreover, if he wasn’t taken with her, she would swallow her bruised pride and try to help him. Alex needed to smile more often, for she’d been truthful in saying his was a lovely one. More than that, it was attractive, even alluring.

He needed to learn to laugh again, certainly, and to release some of the weight he looked as though he was carrying upon his shoulders. They were broad enough, but obviously, he’d been under duress for a long time.

“I confess I have no particular wish to marry your sister over any other young lady.”

“Do you want to fall in love?” Clarity pressed.

When his body stiffened, she added, “No, please don’t retreat into Lady Aston again. Keep Alex right here beside me. Let’s be honest as we used to.”

He swallowed and released a breath.

“Very well. I know some people hope to make love matches. I simply don’t think that’s important. Instead, I see the wisdom in a wife who can help run my house in Town and the main country estate. She can hire and fire household staff and host parties. She will listen to me in the evenings and over breakfast, should I need to voice my thoughts, and I hope to listen to her and receive sound advice in return.”

“And ride with you in the park to witness the first spring flowers, partake of a summer picnic, and travel in your carriage on amusing adventures while sitting on the same side as you, pressed closely against one another because you’re married,” she teased, watching his eyes widen slightly as if the future she described sounded impossible.

“Perhaps take a wedding trip to the Continent,” Clarity continued, thinking of all the things she hoped to do with a husband. “You’ll have someone to kiss and with whom to make those children we spoke of before.”

The longer she tried to make him realize how much more a wife could be than a mere helpmate to pick out staff, the more she warmed to the notion.

“I am going to keep my eyes open this year for a suitable mate, too. I have a couple gentlemen already interested, although I am unsure if either is the one for me. Regardless, I think I should decide this Season. Once I am married, Purity will more easily find a husband. I don’t want to be the obstruction in the line of Diamond daughters.”

“Obstruction?” Alex repeated, and that ghost of a smile played around his lips. “Surely, you’re the main jewel in the ring, the eldest daughter, ripe for the plucking. Every man who likes a bit of fun in his life will be lining up.”

She stared at him. “That almost sounded as if you approve of me and my indecorous, flutter-budgie self.”

This time, he smiled more broadly, showing a hint of a dimple on one side, and Clarity felt her insides flutter. Oh dear! She vaguely recalled she’d had an acute infatuation for her older friend during the year before he disappeared from her life. But it was a long-ago childhood fantasy.

“I think you will undoubtedly appeal to many men,” he said, “perhaps not those who seek a serious help-mate, but those who want a beautiful bauble on their arm. Indubitably, there are many of those single gentlemen, only too happy to take you on outings and dress you up in finery for balls and parties.”

Momentarily shocked, Clarity bit her lip until she could think of how to address all his insults, which she had no doubt he considered compliments. Instead of pointing out how terrible to be considered merely a bauble or a doll to be dressed, she attacked his premise.

“Are you saying you have no intention of going to a ball after you find a wife? If that’s true, you should tell the young lady at the outset so she doesn’t fall for your good looks alone, not realizing you wish to shut her away to act as a butler, a secretary, and an adviser. Oh, and a broodmare!”

“You are angry,” he commented. “Yet I believe I spoke the truth. There are men who want nothing more than a pretty wife. I assure you I have spoken with them at university and at my club. I am now a member of my father’s club, by the way. As for me, I see no reason why I would go to a ball once I have found the woman I shall wed.”

Clarity was genuinely surprised. “Not for the pleasure of dancing with her, nor to show her off because you’re proud she chose you?”

He frowned. “Wouldn’t showing her off like a prized painting be treating her poorly, too? You just took offense at a woman being called a bauble.”

She sighed. “We are deeply in the weeds, but I don’t think there is a woman alive, particularly a newly wedded one, who wouldn’t be pleased if her husband honored her by taking her out. That’s different from wanting a woman only for her looks. And you didn’t answer about dancing.”

“I suppose dancing is good exercise,” he allowed cautiously.

Exercise! Clarity was ready to give up. If Purity felt sorry for him, then she could be the one to make him marriage-ready. Rising again, she decided to be encouraging with her final words.

“I believe my sister made an error. You will certainly find a wife this Season because you are titled and attractive and probably wealthy, although it will not be Purity. As I said before, I predict the woman who accepts your proposal will be someone able to tolerate a life of solemnity and purpose. And then you will be happy.”

Looking at his stoic expression, she amended, “At least, I believe you will be content.”

His mouth no longer relaxed but set in a grim line, he nodded in agreement.

“Thank you.” Rising, he strode from the room.

Unsettled was the word Alex would use to describe how he felt upon leaving the Diamonds’ home, especially when he had passed Brennon going in.

Was the other man there for Clarity or for Purity, and why should it matter to him?

On the other hand, the longer he had been in Clarity’s presence, the more he recalled how easily they kept company and conversed. They could speak to one another as equals with frankness, almost as if they were the same sex.

And now she was a fully grown woman, she had other attributes to endear her to a man. Her figure was curved in all the right places, shapely yet trim. While her eyes were the same mischievous deep blue, they held an added sparkle of allure, as did her gently arched eyebrows and her full lips.

A man could fall for a face like that. He had no doubt if she decided to find a husband that year, she would. And woe betide the man! Her type of fun, which used to be their shared amusement, led to ruin, even death. He could no longer condone it. Plainly, his aunt’s notion of what type of female would make an adequate wife was correct, and Clarity was unsuitable.

More’s the pity, for he felt something for her. A yearning. Perhaps it was nothing more than the familiarity of a childhood friend from a time when his life had felt complete. Regardless, he couldn’t recapture that time. He’d dashed it all to pieces with his carelessness. And she served as a reminder of the dangerous actions that had ruined everything.

If only she wasn’t still so immature.

Thrusting Clarity from his thoughts, he went to White’s, knowing he would hear stories of how wonderful his father was and what a pity the Viscount Hollidge had been taken far too early. It was a torture Alex deserved. While he had a few friends who’d strayed away and joined Brooks’s Club instead, Alex never would. Not solely because of its decidedly Whig-leaning members but for its continued emphasis on gaming. His father’s club had covered its earlier air of wild gambling and an evil reputation with a more genteel patina of exclusivity, delicious food, and royal patronage. Nevertheless, one could still engage in outrageous wagers if one wished. He did not.

While he sat alone, trying to focus on reading the newspapers, he considered what Clarity had said about charades and games. He had enjoyed an occasional game of cards or chess with his friends at university. But when he thought on it, Alex couldn’t recall the last time he’d played a game of anything. She had called him a stick in the mud!

Once again, he was trying to ban her laughing eyes and generous mouth from his mind — banish them completely and find himself a suitable wife.

At the next ball, upon entering, Alex steered clear of the shining brood of Diamonds. Instead, he went toward the other bachelors since there were a few familiar faces, and they quickly decided if the viscount was ready to marry, and to a man they would assist him.

“Less pressure on those of us who are still enjoying single life,” said a baron’s son. The other men chuckled, but Alex thought them weak.

“I don’t see how you can allow yourself to be pressed into marriage.”

“It’s not always the young ladies,” explained another. “Sometimes it’s their formidable mothers or fathers.”

“Don’t you doubt it,” said a third, “there are a number of tricksters here who appear as perfect angels but would as soon slide the parson’s noose around your neck, by hook or by crook, as they would smile at you.”

Alex took another look at the gaily dressed ladies.

“They appear harmless to me.”

General laughter ensued before the first gentleman advised, “Don’t let one request a walk outside, Hollidge, even if she’s fine as fivepence, or you’ll be leg-shackled in three weeks.”

The men all laughed again. They were a mirthful lot, Alex decided, apt to be drawing a flask from their pockets more often than might be wise. However, they knew more than he about assemblies, and thus, he paid heed. He kept his dance partners in sight of their chaperones and danced no more than once with each. He didn’t want to end up ensnared by the wrong woman.

Eventually, perhaps inevitably, he found himself near the Diamonds, who even then were talking animatedly about something. They were like bright candle flames, and he confessed to feeling little more than a dull moth.

“Greetings, Lord Hollidge,” Lady Diamond was the first to acknowledge him.

In succession of age, he greeted Clarity and Purity. The younger girls were not yet out in society, but there were also no male members of the family.

“Where are Lord Diamond and your son?” he asked.

“My son has returned to university,” she said, glancing past him as if Adam might appear. “I believe there is more than one unhappy young lady here tonight.”

“Mother!” Lady Purity protested.

The countess shrugged away any impropriety in discussing her son’s love life.

“As for Lord Diamond, he is away on business,” she said. “A collapsed granary on our property in Derbyshire and a flooded bridge at our holding in Birmingham, both of which will cause our tenants great distress if not quickly mended. My husband likes to keep on top of such disturbances.”

“Making him a good lord and steward,” Alex said. “My own father was like that, too, and I am trying to follow in his footsteps.”

“Then your tenants will respect you,” Lady Diamond said.

He nodded, aware that both her daughters were eyeing him. It occurred to Alex he had been remiss, perhaps even downright rude, in not seeking them out at the ball’s beginning and securing a dance with each.

“Do either of you have a dance still free?” he asked, unsure what he hoped was the answer. He knew only that Purity was far easier to be around. When he was with her, none of his thoughts twisted in his head, nor did any emotions arise, nor silly notions of laughing ... or longing.

“Sadly, I do not,” Purity responded immediately, “but I believe my sister does.”

Clarity’s eyes widened before she sent her sister an infuriated glare. Alex hoped she wasn’t offended by his visit the week before.

After a long hesitation, Clarity said, “I don’t think I do.”

Anyone could tell she was lying. He had insulted his one and oldest friend in London, and now he regretted it. She stood before him a vision of loveliness, and in truth, he wouldn’t mind dancing with her despite their incompatibility.

Luckily, her mother stepped in.

“I think Lord Burlington had to beg off. Something about indigestion. Strange for someone his age, but he stopped by while you were on the dance floor.”

Lady Clarity looked none too pleased as she eyed her mother, but then she turned to him.

“If that is the case, then I suppose I have an upcoming free dance after the next.”

Alex nodded, experiencing an unwelcome feathering of excitement.

When the sisters’ partners arrived for the next dance, he bowed and walked away, having a curious sense of propriety over Clarity after realizing one of the men had spoken earlier about ladies in a derogatory way. The man was by no means wanting to secure an engagement of marriage if that was truly Clarity’s wish.

At the other end of the room, he collected his next partner, Miss Emmeline Brambury, a viscount’s daughter. Her mother was a close acquaintance of his aunt.

With her tightly wound ringlets and doe eyes, Miss Brambury was civil, pretty, quiet, staid, and spoke properly about the recent London weather and the musicians. While he did have to work hard not to yawn, he also appreciated her demeanor and comportment.

“What do you think about people who slurp their soup?” he asked her.

By her disdainful expression, he had his answer. Miss Brambury would never slurp.

After the dance, when he had escorted her back to her chaperone, he asked, “May I call upon you at your home this week?”

“Yes, you may,” she said, offering him a polite smile. Not effusive like one of Clarity’s beaming smiles. Instead, it was modest, albeit welcoming.

When he visited with her in a few days, he would determine if Miss Brambury was suitable in all the ways his aunt had said were important, but upon first appearances, she seemed to be. This was almost too easy, and Alex failed to see what all the fuss was about.

Strolling back to Lady Diamond and the Diamond sisters, he felt a sense of lightness. He wouldn’t have to do this for weeks on end.

“I have come for our dance,” he said to Clarity. She rested her gloved hand upon his arm, and they walked to their place upon the parquet floor.

“You look pleased,” she told him as they began.

“Do I? That’s a strange assessment when one is dancing,” he said.

“You had a tension about you that has now been lifted,” she observed, which he thought was astute of her.

“I see your meaning,” he agreed. “It may be because I have found a lady whom I believe will be a suitable wife.”