Page 34

K ieran

Leaving Hazel was the hardest thing I have had to do. I thought we had made progress. I thought we were on the road to rebuilding.

But there is nothing I can do to erase the memories that my actions have embedded in her mind.

I groan at the memory of her moans, the feel of her skin, the way she laughed, and the twinkle in her eyes as we went riding earlier. There was a spark in her that I had never seen, and it made me more hell-bent on claiming her as mine.

Through the windows in my office, I spot Hazel in the orchard.

She’s harvesting some fruit in a basket.

She has a little dress on with a pair of sneakers.

Her hair is in a single braid down her back, and when she turns in my direction with that smile that rivals the warmth of the sun, I am mesmerized all over again by her beauty.

She speaks to the farm Omegas, and they seem comfortable around her.

I make a mental note to ask her opinion on the pack’s agriculture.

I sigh, my heart aching at the fact that behind her smile, there are wounds inflicted on her heart that will never go away. Same as mine. The darkness is forever there, and now, because of me, there will be a constant darkness for her too .

I’m sorry, mother.

The memory of my mother’s last words, after we had just watched my sister, her last surviving heiress be brutally injured and killed by my father’s wrath, haunts me.

“Do not make the same mistakes,” she had said as she took her last breath.

Hazel is a reminder of how much my father’s blood still flows through my veins. I am determined to extinguish every trace of it, just like I’d ended him in battle that same night he killed my mother and sisters.

At least Hazel believes me that I harbor no ill will toward her. That I’m no longer her enemy.

I lose track of Hazel in the orchard, but the scent of desperation wafts in the air before I even hear the knock at my door, interrupting my thoughts. A sickly-sweet perfume, overapplied, masking the bitterness beneath. I don’t need to turn around to know who it is.

“Nina,” I say, my voice devoid of welcome as I turn to look at her. She can still move within the estate with freedom, but I don’t know why she would come into my chambers unannounced. “Are there no guards at the post?”

The door clicks shut behind her, the sound calculated, deliberate.

She lingers in the entrance of my office, draped in something sheer and form-fitting, her posture oozing confidence.

But I see the desperation in her eyes. She’s running out of time.

She is probably scheming how to gain more ground to exclude herself from receiving her due punishment if she is found guilty.

I narrow my eyes at her. Those plans will never work.

She steps forward, her fingers grazing the edge of my desk. “Alpha,” she purrs. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

I exhale sharply, pinching the bridge of my nose. “As you can guess, Nina, I have no reason or desire to meet with a suspect.” I look behind her. Still no guard has come after her. “Again, are Eren and Tomas not at their posts?” They’re supposed to be nearest to my door.

Where are they, and why have they not come to collect her?

“You’ve been busy with her,” she says, her tone laced with venom, ignoring my question. My wolf snarls at her disrespect. But I calm him down. There is no need for violence. Not right now. I can take care of whatever this is.

My patience is wearing thin. “Hazel is none of your concern unless this is you confessing to be part of Damon’s plans.”

Her lips curl in distaste. “She’s dividing the pack, Kieran. You know that. People are questioning your leadership. She’s—”

“She’s my Mate,” I cut in, my voice sharp.

Nina stiffens, her eyes flashing with something dark.

She scoffs and says, “You and I know, I would do a better job as your Luna. I have all the qualities you need in a Mate to lead this pack. You've always known this. You rejected her for a reason. You can choose another Mate of your own. She’s a liability.”

I lean against the edge of my desk, arms crossed, amused at her pitiful attempt to sway my mind from Hazel when she knows no one will ever compare to Hazel.

That's just delusional. But then I notice Nina’s eyes are wide and her pupils are dilated.

I sniff that something is wrong. She's jerky and jittery. “And what are you, Nina?”

Her mouth parts slightly, but I don’t give her time to answer. I need to snap her out of whatever story she's deceiving herself with. I never wanted her, and I never will. Just because she's related to the man that used to be closest to me does not mean she's my choice.

“In case you’ve forgotten, let me remind you of your place here in whatever little time you have left to spend as a member of this pack.

You’re under investigation,” I remind her.

“You should have been banished. The only reason you’re still here is because I haven’t found enough proof of your involvement in Damon’s betrayal. ”

She's a great warrior. Her platoon leader speaks highly of her and her skills are well-known. She's an asset to the pack and I have to be sure that she can be trusted, and in what ways, before I let her go. She's in too sensitive a position.

Her jaw tightens. “You can’t honestly think I had anything to do with—”

“I think you were complicit,” I voice, my voice low, dangerous. “At best, you turned a blind eye. At worst, you helped him.”

She swallows hard, but the false bravado returns a moment later.

I can see her delusion cracking, her fantasy fading, and a slight panic settle over her.

She steps closer, too close, her fingers trailing over my arm.

My wolf growls something nasty, making Nina gasp.

She swallows but doesn’t stop even though her hands are shaky now.

“You don’t have to be alone in this, Kieran.

You don’t have to settle for her. I know what’s best for the pack, you know that. ”

Her act is pathetic. Her touch makes my skin crawl and my guts roil. My body is repulsed by her. Her gleaming russet eyes are now dark depths of shame and cowardice. She will never have the kind of fire that Hazel does.

I grip her wrist, not harshly, but firmly enough that she stills. I’m over this and so is my wolf. He growls, his agitation rising at the contact. “I don’t settle for anything, Nina.”

Her eyes flicker. I see the panic in them. I see her muster the last shred of her pride and bravery. She tries to press her lips against mine, but I react in time, turning so that her lips touch my cheek instead.

It’s clumsy, desperate—a pathetic attempt at seduction.

But that’s the moment the door swings open.

And Hazel stands there.

Everything slows.

Her storm-gray eyes lock onto us, her gaze flicking from my grip on Nina’s wrist to her smudged lipstick. Then to me. And what I see in her eyes guts me.

Betrayal.

Not anger. Not even rage. Just something raw, something I never wanted to see in her eyes again—hurt.

I pull back immediately, my grip tightening in rage. I don’t hear Nina’s cry as I shove her away.

My chest tightens, my wolf clawing inside me, demanding I fix this.

“Hazel,” I breathe, reaching for her, but she jerks away before I can touch her.

“Don’t,” she says, her voice shaking, but her eyes burn with cold steel. “I should’ve known better.”

My throat tightens. “It’s not—”

“I don’t care,” she cuts in, her tone flat.

But I see it. The way she trembles, the way her lips press into a thin line, barely keeping herself together .

She turns on her heel and strides out, her shoulders squared, her head high.

Pride. She won’t let the pack see her break.

She won’t let me see her break. Not again. I'm back to being the enemy and the rage that fills my chest tints my vision.

I whip around to face Nina, my control snapping. “You planned this.”

She smirks, but there’s a flicker of fear in her expression when she sees my wolf flash in my eyes that wipes the amusement from her face. “I didn’t do anything, Alpha.”

I step forward, my aura pressing down on her like a crushing weight. “You wanted her to walk in. You wanted to drive a wedge between us. Just like your brother.” My voice is not mine. My wolf’s rage at, yet again, another wedge coming between us and our Mate blends with mine.

Nina lifts her chin, but she’s backing toward the door now, her bravado nowhere in sight. Her annoying whimpers grate my ears.

I don’t stop. “You’re done here.”

Her eyes widen slightly. “Kieran—”

I throw the door open and bark but there is no guard in sight. She must have done something to my men.

This fucking bitch.

I grab her by her hair and drag her down the hallway to the nearest landing to the stairs.

“Where are they?” I bark. She struggles to get out of my grip. “Where?” I pull her up and put her face near the wall. I will bash her head in if she tests me further.

“In the storage closet. They're passed out in the closet!” she screams in pain.

I drag her down the stairs and open the closet. My men lay there, groaning as they try to lift themselves. I bark and bring all of them to alert.

“What did you do to them?” I demand of her.

She whimpers and my wolf barks, his impatience simmering under my skin. My grip tightens and she whines and cries.

“Speak,” I bark .

“I had to get them out of the way. I used pin darts to sedate them and dragged them down here,” she confesses.

Hazel must think I dismissed my guards just so I can have the time with Nina.

“You fucking bitch,” I curse, realizing that I've given her too much power. Her parents had been there for me when I had just become Alpha, supporting me when I had no one. I had promised her parents I'd take care of her, that I'd treat her as my own family, just like Damon.

Meanwhile, she's been sabotaging me and my pack just like her brother.

“Alpha please, I just wanted you to listen…to-to consider…” I don't care what she's saying. My wolf is calling for her blood, for her body to be made a mess, for our claws to sink into her chest and end her.

But I have to go after Hazel.

I bark out a command to the guards. “Take her to the border. She’s exiled from Moonfang. Effective immediately.”

The color drains from her face as she stops struggling. “Wait—”

“I gave you a chance,” I growl, my voice a razor’s edge .

“Alpha, please,” she cries. Her neck is as red as her face and her hairline is trickling with blood as I tighten my grip on her hair.

“You just threw it away.” I gesture to my men.

The guards grab her arms, dragging her out as she thrashes. “You’re making a mistake! You think she will ever love you?”

Her words mean nothing. They don’t penetrate the fury coursing through me.

I don’t watch her leave. I don’t care where she goes.

My only focus is Hazel.

I find her in the training yard.

She’s attacking a wooden dummy with relentless precision, her movements sharp and controlled despite her labored breathing.

But I see the tension in her shoulders, the way her grip is too tight, the way she’s fighting something deeper than just an enemy.

Only her voice and the sound of her attacks echoes in empty space. I don’t approach right away.

I just watch .

Her hair is still in the braid, strands escaping to cling to her damp skin. Her soft floral and earthy scent is mingled with sweat and it wraps around me, drawing me to her. She’s barefoot on the sand, dirt smudged across her calves, sweat glistening along her arms.

All this, while still in her sundress. And it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

But when she finally pauses, when she finally looks up and sees me—the fire in her eyes threatens to burn me alive.

I take a slow step forward. “Hazel.”

She turns back to the dummy, delivering a final, brutal strike that breaks the dummy's neck before speaking. “Why are you here, Kieran?”

I exhale, raking a hand through my hair. “To explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain,” she says coolly, her breathing still heavy from the exertion. “You don’t owe me anything. Just like I don’t owe you anything.”

I step closer, just enough for her to feel my presence. “That’s not true.”

She laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “You really think I’m that stupid?

” She shakes her head, gripping the training staff so tightly her knuckles turn white.

“You expect me to believe this wasn’t planned?

That you just have me here as a tool while you fucking pick the Luna you want!

Fuck that and fuck you Kieran. I’m done being used. ”

I grit my teeth. “No, Hazel. It’s not—you’re wrong.”

She meets my gaze again, and there’s something cold in her expression. I see that she wants to argue, sass me back, prove to me how much of a shitface I am. But she sighs and I see the defeat on her face. It breaks me into a million pieces.

“Does it even matter?” She turns her eyes away from me, her voice cracking at the last word.

My chest tightens. “It should.”

She drops the staff, wiping sweat from her forehead before crossing her arms. “And why is that, Kieran? Because I’m your Mate and you think that’s what you should say?”

I clench my fists, frustration and desperation colliding. There’s no way else to show her that she is everything to me. She is my life. And without her... “Because I chose you.”

She lets out a bitter breath, shaking her head. “You don’t get to say that. Not after everything. Not after—” She swallows hard, looking away. “I let myself believe you’re different now. That maybe, just maybe, you meant the things you said.”

“I did mean it,” I say, stepping closer.

But she steps back.

That movement guts me more than any blade ever could.

She exhales sharply, her fingers curling into fists. “I can’t do this, Kieran. I can’t keep being your second choice, your afterthought. An option.”

My wolf growls, hating the distance between us, but I don’t push. I can’t.

She stares at me for a long moment, then shakes her head and turns away. “Don’t follow me.”

The ache in my chest tells me I won’t survive losing her again.