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MAYA

My life ended the night it should have begun, and I never recovered from it.

Was I expecting it? No. But for some reason, it didn’t surprise me. I guess it was a part of who I am and I was only deceiving myself into thinking things would be any different.

That evening, I was standing beside my window as I looked out onto the courtyard where everyone was busy.

Everyone in my pack was doing one thing or the other.

Some people were arranging logs of wood for the bonfire that would be lit later in the night, and others were preparing meals and drinks for everyone.

The house was wide open and soft music was pouring into the courtyard from the house. Many people were singing along.

Upstairs in my room, even I was singing along. I couldn’t help it, despite how nervous I was feeling.

Today was the day I finally become a wolf, and I was scared shitless.

By natural order, werewolves turned for the first time on the night of the first full moon after their sixteenth birthday. It was always a thing of celebration because it was regarded as a coming-of-age event and was celebrated with more pomp and fanfare than even the sixteenth birthday.

Before this, members of the pack yet to turn were regarded as cubs and treated as such with no real role in the pack because they were kids.

This was something I have always dreamed of right from my childhood.

I envied my pack mates when they went out to hunt and we had to stay behind, or when they went for one mission or the other under the leadership of my father.

But still, I waited patiently for my turn. It was a natural order, and nothing was going to stop it.

I shifted as I heard a slight knock on my door, I quickly fell back and poured myself into the bed before calling out, “who is it?”

“Can I come in?” I heard my father’s voice through the door.

I let out a sigh as I sat up from the bed, “yeah.”

The knob turned and his head popped in with a smile on his face, “hello Sunshine.”

I looked at him uncertainly and smiled back weakly.

He dropped himself into the bed beside me, “what’s the problem?”

I glanced at him, he was a truly handsome man with scars on his face.

Scars from battles he bravely led the pack into.

He was the Alpha of the pack, a man many feared.

It was impossible for a wolf not to know the name Lockworth, my mother told me stories of how he freed the wolves from the tyranny of vampires and sent them running from New York.

The reason wolves were able to live in peace and harmony today was all thanks to my father, and for that, I would be eternally proud of him.

But now, I couldn’t even look him in the eye. So many thoughts were going through my mind.

“Are you nervous?” He asked suddenly.

I glanced at him again, he always knew what was going on with me. I tried to laugh it off, “nervous? I’ve been waiting for this day all my life. I’m not nervous.”

He laughed genuinely, “well, I remember the day I turned for the first time. We were about six in my pack and on the run from some vampires. I wasn’t nervous, Sunshine, I was terrified. What if I’m unable to turn? What if I’m never able to protect my family? What will become of me?”

“Did you get answers to those questions?”

“No, and that’s because they’re questions that don’t need answers.

What you are feeling right now is normal, you are doing it for the first time.

You come from a long line of powerful wolves, it runs in your blood and nothing can stop that.

Everything you are feeling is just in your head, so just trust in the process and let nature take its course. ”

“You think?” I asked hesitantly.

“Of course, by the time everything is over, you’ll realize you had nothing to be nervous about in the first place.”

I let out another sigh as I nodded, I could do it. After all, I was the daughter of the great Lockworth. Nothing was going to stop me from turning.

He moved stray hair from my eyes and got up, “you need to start getting ready. Your mother has spoken to you about how it will all go down, but if you need any help, just call out. I’ll be here.”

I nodded, “I’ll be fine.”

He smiled and made his way out of the room. I got up from the bed again and looked out the window, the sun had vanished behind the clouds and dusk was setting in fully.

I changed into the dress my mother had given me.

It was not much of a dress, more like a robe of sorts.

It was very loose over my body and was only designed to cover my nakedness.

Tight clothes made turning difficult, especially for first-turners like me.

So, I needed to be as free as possible and by the time I became a wolf, the dress would simply fall off me.

When it was fully dark, I walked out of my room barefoot. My heart was thumping loudly in my ears, I was so nervous my legs felt a bit off balance. But I kept walking towards the courtyard. I exited the kitchen and walked through the open door and into the night.

At once a loud chant rose and everyone started howling.

“You’ve got this, Maya!” Someone called, I knew her very well, she turned two years ago.

The men were bare-chested and dressed only in loose shorts, the ladies wore sport-bras and loose shorts as well. I knew the tradition, this night belonged solely to me. So, no wolf would turn until I did mine. And when they turned, they would take me on my first hunt. I was ready for everything.

The night sky was bare, but I could see the moon already climbing out. This caused my heartbeat to double in speed.

My parents came to stand beside me and took my hands.

“Remember what I said,” my father said. “Trust the process.”

“My baby,” my mother ran her hand through my hair, “you’re a wolf now. This is just the last leg, you’ve got this!”

I couldn’t help myself, I hugged them both. This caused the chants to get louder and howls to continue unabated. Drums were set up and the men began to beat them, the bonfire was finally lit and the courtyard was basked in the orange glow of the flames.

“I’ve got this…” I muttered to myself as I walked past my parents and stood a few feet from the bonfire. I could hear the crackling wood as the heat went through it, and I could feel the soft waves of heat against my flesh. “I’ve got this…”

My heart was still beating furiously, I bunched my fists and closed my eyes as I struggled to get myself under control. The tempo of the beats and the howls became faster. The air was charged with electricity as I stood amid my pack.

Then, I let out one last sigh as I opened my eyes.

I was ready.

I relaxed my body just as the moon climbed out of the clouds and shone its glorious rays on the courtyard. On me.

I stood, confused as I felt nothing. The full moon was here, why was I not― "Argh!”

I screamed out loud as I felt a piercing pain in my ankle, so sharp I fell to my knees. The drumming got even faster by now, the chanting became feverish as everyone watched me with rapt attention. But I didn’t notice them because I was in a world of pain as my body transformed.

I felt my body shrink a bit, sending hot white pain through my spine.

My vision went white for a second and when it returned, it was so clear I could see the cracks in the burning embers before me.

I felt my face suddenly become full as whiskers and furs grew out of them.

I was writhing on the ground and twisting as my fingernails vanished and claws protruded painfully from my fingers.

My fangs grew and all I could think of was that my head felt like it was going to explode.

The pain was endless, I was in agony.

No one told me this was how it was going to hurt. Was it meant to be this long?

As if from another planet, I heard my father’s voice, “Stop! Something is wrong!”

Another pain shot through my body, almost causing me to pass out. The drumming stopped and the chants halted. That was when I realized just how loud I was screaming.

“Why is she not turning?” I heard my mother’s panicked voice. “What is happening?”

“Maya!” My father called, “Maya!! Can you hear me?”

I could, but his voice was sounding so far away. How could I voice a reply to him through this haze of pain I was feeling?

One thing was crystal clear to me though… I was a failure.

I’m not a wolf.