Page 26 of City of Secrets and Shadows (Empire of Vengeance #2)

26

T he afternoon sun beat down mercilessly as I completed my tenth lap around the academy’s training field. Sweat poured down my face, my lungs burned, and my legs threatened to give out beneath me. Still, I pushed on. The physical exertion was a welcome distraction from the mess of emotions churning inside me since my morning swim with Jalend.

“Faster, Cantius!” Instructor Cero barked from the sidelines. “Dragons don’t respond to weakness!”

I gritted my teeth and found another reserve of strength, increasing my pace for the final stretch. The other cadets had finished minutes ago and now watched me with a mixture of contempt and grudging respect. Valeria and her sycophants smirked from the shade of a nearby laurel tree, no doubt hoping to see me collapse.

I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.

As I crossed the finish line, Cero made a notation on his tablet. “Acceptable,” he said, which from him was high praise. “Your endurance has improved.”

I bent over, hands on my knees, gulping air. “Thank you, sir.”

“Tomorrow, we begin aerial combat drills. Be prepared.” With that, he strode away, leaving me to recover on my own.

I straightened, wiping sweat from my brow. Across the field, I caught Jalend watching me, his expression unreadable. He’d kept his distance all day, our early morning conversation seemingly forgotten in the harsh light of day. Perhaps that was for the best. The ease with which he’d drawn me into dangerous political territory had been unsettling.

The memory of his hands supporting me in the water, the surprising gentleness of his touch, the intensity in his amber eyes when he spoke of the Talfen — these things were better left unexamined.

I made my way to the water barrel, drinking deeply before splashing some on my face. The cool water was a blessed relief against my overheated skin.

“Impressive performance, Lady Cantius.”

I turned to find Jalend beside me, filling his own cup with water.

“I thought you’d left after your own trial. I didn’t realize endurance training warranted your attention.”

A slight smile tugged at his lips. “I make it my business to observe those with potential.” He drank deeply, his throat working as he swallowed.

“Be careful, Lord Jalend, that almost sounded like a compliment,” I said, grinning at him.

“Will you be at the tactics lecture this evening?”

I nodded. “The northern campaign strategies. Required for all first-year cadets.”

“Perhaps we could continue our discussion afterward,” he suggested, his voice deliberately casual. “I have some texts on Talfen cultural practices that might interest you.”

A warning flared in my mind. Getting closer to Jalend was dangerous — not just because of his status, but because of how easily he seemed to see through me. Finding out I couldn’t read would definitely give me away and I couldn’t allow that to happen, as much as I wouldn’t have minded debating the topic with him.

“I may be occupied this evening,” I said carefully. “Extra studies.”

He accepted this with a graceful nod. “Another time, then.”

As he walked away, I caught Valeria watching us with narrowed eyes. Just what I needed — more attention from her jealous coterie. I finished my water and headed for the baths, eager to wash away the day’s exertions and return to my quarters.

The academy’s bathing chambers were mercifully quiet at this hour, most cadets having already completed their ablutions. I sank into the hot water with a grateful sigh, allowing the heat to soothe my aching muscles. The women’s section was empty save for an elderly attendant who dozed in the corner, giving me the rare luxury of solitude.

As I scrubbed away the dirt and sweat, I let my mind wander to Tarshi. He’d been there this morning when I returned from my morning swim, greeting me warmly, but things had felt tense. Even when Septimus had left for the bath house, Tarshi had seemed distant, distracted. With Septimus out of the way, I’d hoped to entice him back to my bed before trials, but my hints had simply washed over him, and he’d left soon after to visit Suura.

This wasn’t unusual — as my supposed body slave, he had freedom to move about the academy grounds on errands. But lately, his absences have grown longer and more frequent. The resistance meetings in the lower city were becoming a priority for him, and while I understood his commitment to the cause, I couldn’t help but worry. Discovery would mean execution for him and the idea of losing him was like a knife to the heart. We hadn’t had any time alone together since our stolen moments on the journey to the city, and even though I saw him every day, I missed him greatly. I missed his strong arms around me, his quiet, caring nature, and yes, I admitted, I did miss his massive cock, and the way he made love to me.

Then there was Septimus. Since the night Marcus and I had rekindled our relationship, Septimus and he had actually seemed to be on better terms, but any attention I gave to Tarshi was another matter. The jealousy that had always simmered beneath his protective exterior now threatened to boil over at any moment. I’d caught him watching me talk with Tarshi once, his expression dark with something beyond anger — a complicated mixture of rage, longing, and disgust that made my heart ache.

I hadn’t been alone with him either, and he’d also seemed in a tense mood this morning. I couldn’t understand why. I wondered if they’d found out about Varin somehow. I hadn’t mentioned the encounter, and Marcus had left before they were awake this morning, so there wasn’t any way they could have found out. I had thought about telling them, but decided not to and I intended to swear Marcus to secrecy.

Both of them were extremely protective and would demand vengeance on Varin. As much as I understood that, I also had no intention of endangering two men I was starting to feel very deeply for. Tarshi could be executed for simply striking a noble, and Septimus… I couldn’t tell Septimus. He held himself personally responsible for my safety because of his vow to Tarus, though I knew now there was more to it than that. I couldn’t take the chance that he would blame himself. The battle in the arena where he’d thought himself unworthy to carry on, the way he’d walked in wanting an opponent to end his pain, it still tormented me.

The three men in my life were pulling me in different directions, and I was stretching thinner by the day.

I finished my bath, dried myself quickly, and dressed in the simple blue stola I preferred. As I made my way back to my quarters, the lowering sun cast long shadows across the courtyards. Most cadets would be heading to the dining hall for the evening meal, but I wasn’t hungry. The prospect of forced conversation with my classmates held little appeal.

When I entered my room, the sight that greeted me was unexpected. Marcus and Septimus sat at my small dining table, their heads bent close together over what appeared to be a map. They looked up at my entrance, their expressions shifting from concentration to something more complex.

“Finally,” Septimus said, rising from his chair. “We’ve been waiting for hours.”

“What are you doing here? Marcus, how did you get into the academy?”

Marcus stood too, a rueful smile on his face. “Your ‘slaves’ aren’t the only ones who know how to slip past guards.” He crossed the room and pulled me into an embrace, his familiar scent of leather and cedar enveloping me. “You look exhausted.”

I allowed myself to lean into him for a moment, drawing comfort from his solid presence. “Training was intense today.” Over his shoulder, I caught Septimus watching us, his jaw tight. I went to pull away from Marcus, his arm tightened around me as Septimus moved towards us.

To my surprise, Septimus slid his hand into my hair and kissed me deeply, even as I stood in Marcus’s arms. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was thorough, and I was a little breathless when he pulled away. I took a breath, trying to get my thoughts in place again.

“Why are you both here? Has something happened?”

The glance that passed between them raised the hairs on the back of my neck.

“We found him,” Septimus said, his voice flat.

“Found who?” I asked.

Marcus guided me to the table, his hand warm against the small of my back.

“The man who killed Tarus,” Septimus said quietly. “The soldier who cut down your brother while you watched.”

My knees went weak, and I sank into a chair. For a decade, the face of that Imperial soldier had haunted my nightmares — square-jawed, a scar bisecting his left eyebrow, cold eyes that hadn’t flickered with even a moment’s hesitation as he drove his blade through my brother’s heart.

“You’re certain?” My voice sounded strange to my own ears, distant and hollow.

Marcus pushed a folded piece of parchment across the table. “See for yourself.”

I opened it with trembling fingers. Inside was a charcoal sketch of a man in an Imperial officer’s regalia. The artist had captured him in profile, but there was no mistaking that face. Older now, with grey at his temples, but unmistakably the same man.

“Where?” The single word was all I could manage.

“Here in the capital,” Marcus said, taking the seat beside me. “He’s a centurion of the Palace Guard now. Lucius Arilius.”

“Lucius Arilius,” I repeated, the name bitter on my tongue. All these years, I’d hated a man, a memory, and now he had an identity, a rank, a place in the world. The abstract hatred that had sustained me for so long suddenly had a focal point, and it burned in my chest like molten iron.

“How did you find him?” I asked, looking between them.

“Marcus has been asking questions in the taverns near the palace,” Septimus explained, leaning against the windowsill. “Former soldiers drink there. They talk.”

“Septimus told me his name,” Marcus added. “And the name of your village, and your parents. Eventually I found someone who had served with him on that… day.”

“Does he know why you were asking about him?” The thought sent a chill through me. If my true identity was discovered...

“No,” Septimus shook his head firmly. “The records from that day show all villagers were either killed or enslaved. Our identities are safe. I highly doubt he’ll remember the faces of two kids.”

I traced the outline of Arilius’s face on the parchment. “He’s part of the Palace Guard. That means he’s at the palace daily, close to the Emperor.” My mind raced with possibilities. “This changes things.”

“How so?” Marcus asked, watching me closely.

I looked up at him, then at Septimus. “My original plan was to gain access to the Emperor during the graduation ceremony. But that’s six months away, assuming I even pass the trials. If Arilius is at the palace regularly…”

“No,” Septimus said sharply. “Don’t even think about it, Livia. Going after him now would expose you before you can get to the Emperor.”

“Septimus is right,” Marcus agreed, his hand covering mine on the table. “Patience has gotten you this far. Don’t throw it all away for a subordinate, no matter how personal the vendetta.”

I pulled my hand away, anger flaring. “Personal? He murdered my brother. He helped slaughter our entire village, Septimus, including your family. This isn’t some abstract grudge — it’s justice.”

“And you’ll have it,” Septimus said, his voice softer now. He pushed away from the window and came to kneel beside my chair, looking up at me with an intensity that made my breath catch. “We promised you vengeance, and you’ll have it. But not at the cost of your life.”

The genuine concern in his eyes took the edge off my anger. “Then what do you suggest?”

“We wait,” Marcus said. “We gather more information about his routines, his weaknesses. And when the time is right — after you’ve established yourself fully at the academy, after suspicion has faded — then we strike.”

“Besides,” Septimus added. “Just killing Arilius won’t satisfy you. Not really. He was following orders that day — the Emperor’s orders. He’s a symptom, not the disease.”

I knew they were right, but the knowledge did little to calm the storm raging inside me. For years, I’d dreamed of facing that soldier, of watching the recognition dawn in his eyes as I revealed who I was before ending his life. Now that dream was tantalizingly within reach.

“Where’s your Talfen?” Septimus asked suddenly, glancing around the room as if just noticing Tarshi’s absence.

“His name is Tarshi,” I said, the familiar irritation surfacing. “And I don’t know. He was gone when I returned from my morning training.”

Septimus’s lip curled. “Another of his mysterious disappearances? You should keep a tighter leash on your slave, Livia. People will talk.”

“He’s not actually my slave,” I reminded him coldly. “And he’s free to come and go as he pleases.”

“Enough,” Marcus said firmly. “I came to tell you about Arilius, and because I was worried about you after last night.”

The genuine concern in his voice deflated my anger, but I shot him a warning glance.

“I’m fine,” I said, less convincingly than I’d intended.

“Are you?” Septimus challenged, his blue eyes piercing.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I told him about Varin trying to rape you,” admitted Marcus.

My stomach dropped. “You did what?” I hissed, glaring at Marcus.

Septimus’s face had gone frighteningly still, a muscle twitching in his jaw. “Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was dangerously quiet.

“This is exactly why,” I said, standing abruptly. “I knew you’d both overreact.”

“Overreact?” Septimus’s voice rose. “Livia, that animal put his hands on you, tried to—”

“I handled it,” I cut him off. “And Marcus shouldn’t have told you.”

Marcus at least had the decency to look guilty. “I was worried about you. And he deserved to know.”

“It wasn’t your place to tell him,” I said, pacing the small room. My hands trembled with anger, with frustration. “This is my life, my body. I decide who knows what happens to it.”

“Livia,” Septimus’s voice softened as he stood, reaching for me. “We care about you. We want to protect you.”

I stepped away from his touch. “I don’t need protection. I need respect. I need you both to trust that I can handle myself.”

“We do trust you, Livia,” said Marcus moving over to where we stood. “But trust goes both ways. You need to trust us too.”

That silenced me for a moment. He was right. By not trusting them, I was dividing us, and I already had the secret of mine and Tarshi’s relationship to deal with. I nodded.

“You’re right.” I turned to Septimus. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d go after him. I know what my safety means to you, but I do need to trust that your actions aren’t my choices to make either.”

“We need to be in this together,” said Septimus.

I turned to face them, these two men who had been constants in my life through the darkest times. Marcus, with his quiet strength and moral centre, who had taught me to fight with honour even in a dishonourable world. Septimus, fierce and loyal to the point of obsession, who had protected me since childhood at the cost of his own happiness.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. “That I care for you both? That I don’t know how to choose? That the thought of losing either of you terrifies me more than any arena battle ever did?”

Marcus approached slowly, as one might approach a cornered animal. “You don’t have to choose, Livia.”

I stared at him, uncomprehending.

“What he means,” Septimus said, his voice rough with emotion, “is that we’ve talked. About you. About... us.”

My gaze darted between them. “You’ve talked?”

Marcus nodded, a slight smile softening his features. “It wasn’t an easy conversation.”

“Or a short one,” Septimus added with a hint of his old humour.

“And?” I prompted, my heart racing.

Marcus took my hand gently. “And we both love you, Livia. In different ways, perhaps, but with equal devotion. We’re willing to share you, if that’s what you want.”

The words hung in the air, heavy with implication. I searched their faces for any sign of deception or reluctance, but found only openness and a vulnerability that made my chest ache.

“What about… if anyone else came along?” I asked. I had been thinking of Tarshi, but for some reason, Jalend’s face came into my mind.

As though Septimus could read my mind, he shook his head.

“I knew that arrogant piece of shit noble was worming his way into your good graces. At least he treats you with respect, I suppose.”

“What Septimus means is that we want you Livia. And if that means sharing you with other men because your heart desires them, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Septimus stepped closer, until the three of us stood in a tight circle, our bodies almost touching. “But know this,” he said, his voice dropping to a register that sent a shiver down my spine. “We’ve made our choice. We choose you, Livia. Both of us. However you’ll have us.”

The intensity in his blue eyes made my breath catch. I knew Septimus wanted me, but seeing that desire openly acknowledged, sanctioned even by Marcus, changed something fundamental between us.

Marcus’s thumb traced small circles on the back of my hand, a simple touch that nonetheless sent heat coursing through me. “No pressure,” he murmured, though the deepening of his voice suggested otherwise. “Just possibility.”

I became acutely aware of how close we stood, of the warmth radiating from their bodies, of the subtle scent of Marcus’s skin and the familiar intensity of Septimus’s gaze. The air in the room seemed to thicken, charged with unspoken desire.

“And if I said I wanted to explore those possibilities?” I asked, my voice huskier than I’d intended. “Tonight?”

Septimus’s eyes darkened, and Marcus’s grip on my hand tightened fractionally.

“Then we would be honoured,” Marcus said softly.

Septimus said nothing, but his gaze dropped to my lips in a way that made my skin flush with heat.

I hesitated, my heart pounding against my ribs. The tension between us had shifted into something electric, dangerous, thrilling. I’d dreamed of both men, separately, for so long. But together? The thought sent heat coursing through me, pooling low in my belly.

“I don’t know how this works,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.

Septimus’s hand came up to cup my cheek, his calloused palm rough against my skin. “We’ll figure it out together.” His voice was a low rumble that I felt more than heard.

Marcus moved behind me, his chest pressing against my back as his hands settled on my hips. “We’ll stop anytime you want,” he murmured against my ear, his breath warm on my neck. “You set the pace.”

I closed my eyes, savouring the sensation of being caught between them, surrounded by their heat, their strength. When I opened them again, Septimus was watching me, his blue eyes dark with desire but also something deeper, more vulnerable.

“Are you sure?” I asked, searching his face. “Both of you?”

Marcus’s lips brushed the sensitive spot where my neck met my shoulder, sending shivers down my spine. “More sure than I’ve been about anything in a long time.”

Septimus simply stepped forward and kissed me, one hand gripping my waist while the other tangled in my hair, pulling me into a kiss that was all possession and need. His mouth was demanding, his tongue seeking entrance which I gladly granted.

Behind me, Marcus pressed against my back, his lips finding the sensitive skin where my neck met my shoulder. His hands slid around my waist, fingers splaying across my abdomen. The contrast between them was intoxicating — Septimus’s fierce intensity against Marcus’s measured restraint.

“We’ve thought about this,” Marcus murmured against my skin, his breath hot. “More than we should admit.”

Septimus broke our kiss, his eyes burning as they met mine. “Tell us what you want, Livia.”

“Everything,” I whispered, surprised by my own boldness. “I want everything.”