Page 39 of Christmas for the Village Midwife (The Village Midwife #2)

Later that day, with half an hour to spare before the Christmas Eve carol service, there was a knock at the door of Kestrel Cottage. Zoe had just fixed her earrings in place and hurried down the stairs to get it. Alex was on the doorstep, snow in his hair and on the shoulders of his coat.

‘The Lapland Express awaits you.’

Zoe laughed as she pulled him over the step and into a kiss. ‘You look good,’ she said. ‘You smell even better. Cold and clean and musky. Maybe we won’t go to the carols; maybe we’ll stay here instead.’

‘We could do that,’ he said with a warm smile. ‘Won’t you be annoyed later? You said you were looking forward to it.’

‘I did, didn’t I? I was silly back then.’

He laughed. ‘Come on. I must be mad to say it, but we’re not staying in; we’re going. You’ll regret missing it, and everyone is expecting us.’

‘Who cares?’

‘Since you, very wisely, told me I ought to make more effort to charm the villagers so they’ll be a bit more forgiving when the campsite opens, I think that’s rather a rash thing to say, Miss Padbury. Get your business head on.’

‘Business head, right…’ She pulled one of his coat buttons open. ‘Admit it – you want to go more than I do. You actually like everyone.’

‘I never said I didn’t. They don’t all like me – that’s the problem we’re trying to fix, remember? So…’ He fastened his button again, and she laughed. ‘Stop trying to tempt me, and let’s go before the snow gets too deep!’

‘Spoilsport,’ Zoe said, blowing him a saucy kiss and then leaving him to go and get her boots.

When she returned, he was typing on his phone. ‘Just checking on Billie,’ he said.

‘Is she all right? You’ve only just left her, haven’t you?’

‘Yes, but she frets a bit on nights like this. I told her we shouldn’t be late. The service is only a couple of hours, isn’t it? We ought to be back just after eight, I reckon.’

‘Don’t forget about the refreshments afterwards.’

‘Yeah, but even if we stay for an hour, that should be plenty of time to do our Christmas Eve presents.’

‘Christmas Eve presents?’

‘We’ve always done it. We have a special one for Christmas Eve – usually a book or something like that, something small but significant, or something we want the other to try.’

‘That sounds cute,’ Zoe said, now feeling guilty about the fact that not only had she rushed buying his actual Christmas gift, but she didn’t have anything to give him for a Christmas Eve gift.

‘I can see the cogs working,’ he said with a smile, ‘and it won’t matter one bit that you haven’t bought one for us – I’m pretty sure neither of us said, so how would you be expected to know?

Billie heard about how they do it in some Nordic country in a lesson at school once, and then she wanted us to do it.

We’ve done it ever since. It means a lot to her, you know – even more since we lost Jennifer.

I think it sort of keeps her connected to us, doing the thing we used to do when she was around. ’

Zoe gave him a small smile and suddenly felt guilty for being so flippant on his arrival, for failing to remember that this time of the year was about so much more than Christmas to him.

It would be a time to remember, to think back on past Christmases in his other life, the one he’d had before he’d met her.

She’d been thrown by a random Christmas card sent by Ritchie – she couldn’t imagine what it must be like for Alex.

Especially this year, the first year he wouldn’t be able to visit his wife’s grave.

‘Are you all right?’ she asked.

He frowned. ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

‘Because this time of year…seems like it’s a time to remember things, and not always things we want to remember. I had a conversation with Emilia this afternoon, and we talked about that, and then you…Well, I just wondered, that’s all.’

‘I could say the same to you.’

‘I have been thinking about it, actually. I went into a shop and there was all this kids’ stuff, and I thought about what it might be like to buy it for my own, but…’ She gave a small shrug. ‘There’s no point in that, is there?’

He took her hand and kissed her fingers. ‘I wish I could make it so you’re never sad again.’

‘I wasn’t sad; I was just…well, I was only thinking about how things might have been. But they’re not like that, and I have this life now, and though what I lost hurts, this life is good. You help to make it good.’

‘I feel the same way. Since we met you, you’ve been so good for us, me and Billie. We think the world of you.’

‘Even Billie? I’m sure she just thinks I interfere.’

‘Oh, there’s no doubt about that.’ He laughed softly. ‘But she thinks everyone is interfering all the time, so don’t take it personally. She likes you, though. A lot.’

The warmth spread throughout Zoe’s whole body. ‘Really?’

He nodded. ‘We ought to go if we’re going to make it before the start.’

‘Yes, right…’ She rushed to collect the gifts she’d wrapped for her friends and neighbours, and Alex angled his head at the bag.

‘What’s all that?’

‘Presents for people I won’t see tomorrow.’

‘Oh. I haven’t done that. I mean, I haven’t got presents for anyone but you and Billie. Should I have done?’

‘I don’t think there are rules. I only got token things for people who’ve been kind to me since I moved here, but they’re not much. It’s just to say thank you, really. I can’t say I’m entirely happy with most of them, but…’

‘Oh.’

Zoe smiled. ‘Don’t look so worried. You’re not going to get chased out of the village for not buying Christmas presents for everyone!’

He held out his hand to take the bag from her. ‘I’ll carry that for you.’

‘Are you sure? I can manage?—’

‘You can watch your feet, and I’ll keep this lot safe. And…’ he added with a cheeky waggle of his eyebrows, ‘when we get to the church, I’ll hand them out and pretend I bought them.’

She laughed. ‘Ooh, you would as well! That’s ruthless!’

‘I know. What are you going to do about it?’

Zoe closed the front door behind them, and they stepped out onto the snow. ‘What am I going to do? Don’t worry, I’ll think of something that will make you sorry.’

‘Promises, promises,’ he said, laughing, and she gave him a playful shove that almost had him over, and then she was laughing too.

With banks of snow piled against walls and weighing down trees and shrubs, and the lights reflecting from it, Thimblebury looked like a Christmas card.

One of those ones Zoe’s gran always sent, with no glitter or jokes or drunken Santas, but with delicate line drawings and soft watercolours that were from a bygone age.

‘I haven’t been to a carol service since school,’ Zoe said as they trudged the lane to get to the church.

Alex turned to her. ‘Seriously?’

‘Why would I? I’m not especially religious. I was christened, of course, and all that, but I haven’t been to church…well, apart from a few times, and the last… It isn’t a memory I want to think about.’

‘Right…’ He squeezed her hand to say he understood. ‘If it makes any difference, I know what you mean. My last time in church wasn’t great either. But maybe this will make us both new memories, nicer ones.’

‘I’m hopeful. Who knows? Maybe we’ll have such a good time we’ll become converts, and we’ll want to come to church every Sunday.’

He laughed. ‘Steady on. Let’s start with Christmas carols and see how we go. Anyway, we’ll be too busy to come to church – in the summer, at least, I hope. If I’m not busy, I’ll have done something very wrong with this glamping business.’

‘It’ll be good; I have faith in you. What did Billie say about doing your social media?’

‘She was up for it, as long as she doesn’t have to be in it. So I told her you’d be her star influencer.’

‘You didn’t? Alex!’

‘I didn’t, but I had you going for a minute, admit it! Seriously, though, it might be nice if you wanted to get involved. It would help to have a friendly face on the business.’

‘Put yours on it then.’

‘I would, but yours is prettier. I know which would persuade me to book if I was looking.’

‘I think photos of the hills and lakes will do that just fine.’

‘We’ll see. I might persuade you yet, but I’m going to say that’s a problem for later. Now we’ve got a carol service to get through without laughing.’

‘Or falling asleep.’

‘Right. I can see why Billie didn’t want to come – not exactly the hippest place in town, is it?’

They looked up at the tiny church, warm light flooding from the open doors, candles on stands lining the path and ranged along the windowsills.

The vicar’s robes were flapping around his legs in a stiff, icy breeze that had the flames on the candles dancing as he greeted everyone before they filed in.

The shrubs at the entrance were all decorated with messages tied to the branches that the villagers had been invited to write and bring with them – messages of hope, of gratitude, of prayers for souls who’d been lost, and for the coming year.

Zoe was all at once affected by the sight, despite all their jokes only minutes before.

It might not have been the hippest place in town, but it was rather lovely, a flashback of an older, gentler England that had long since gone, or like the Christmas stories she’d read and watched as a child.

There was something inviting and comforting about it, like everyone who entered this church today was under some kind of protection.

She hadn’t been to church since the funeral for her unborn child, and she hadn’t wanted to – until this very moment.