Page 18 of Christmas at the Movies

He tiptoed to Holly’s bedroom and, ignoring the sign on the door that said KEEP OUT, went inside.

His sister was watching Netflix on her laptop.

‘Ever heard of knocking?’ Holly asked, taking off her headphones.

‘What are you watching?’ Nick asked her.

‘Get out.’

Nick backed away. He should have known better than to try to speak to her.

‘No, stupid,’ said Holly. ‘Get Out. It’s a horror movie.’

Nick didn’t like horror movies. He hated the horrible feeling of waiting for bad things to happen. That’s how he felt now – like something awful was going to happen to his family unless he found a way to stop it. In movies, a hero always saved the day.

But Nick was no hero.

‘Mum and Dad are having another fight,’ he told her.

‘So what do you want me to do about it?’ she said.

‘Do you think they’re going to get divorced?’

What if he had to choose which parent to live with? How could Nick possibly do that? He loved them both equally. There was no way he could choose between Mum and Dad.

Nick remembered when Grace’s parents got divorced in primary school. She had cried and cried the day her dad had moved out of their house. Nick had felt so sad for her that he’d cried too.

‘Why are you crying?’ Grace had wanted to know. ‘Your parents aren’t getting divorced.’

Nick always felt things deeply. When people he cared about were hurt or sad, he felt it like a physical ache.

And when they were happy, he shared their joy intensely.

Mum had once told him that his empathy was a superpower, but Nick didn’t agree.

He thought it made him weak. It was why boys like Damon Carter picked on him – they knew he was vulnerable.

‘You’re such an idiot,’ said Holly, rolling her eyes. ‘Get out. And I’m not talking about the movie this time.’

When they were little, his big sister used to comfort Nick when he was upset. She’d let him sleep in her bed if he had a nightmare, singing him Disney songs and rubbing his back until he fell back asleep. She’d help him build his LEGO models and then act out funny stories with the mini figures.

Nick shut the door behind him, trying not to cry. He missed Holly, even though she was still there. Why did everything have to change?

James looked out of the kitchen window. The clouds outside were heavy and iron grey. The forecast was predicting a snowstorm later. But he’d already unleashed a storm inside the house, by telling Sarah one of them needed to go to the cinema on the only night they both had off this week.

‘We just can’t go on like this,’ said Sarah. Her jaw was tense and she was gripping the handle of her mug so tightly, the whites of her knuckles showed. ‘Something has to change.’

‘Business will pick up again,’ said James.

‘I’m sure it will. There are some big movies out next year – event cinema.

Then maybe we can hire some more staff.’ He’d been telling himself this for the past few years.

It was getting harder and harder to believe it himself.

He’d hated having to ask Sarah to fill in, but nobody else was available.

Sarah shook her head. ‘You need to face the facts, James. The cinema is failing. Last weekend was a total disaster. Thank God Holly saved the day.’

‘But I managed to repair the sound.’ Why wouldn’t she give him any credit for that?

‘It was a false economy,’ replied Sarah. ‘We lost all our takings in paying out refunds. We need a new sound system and we simply can’t afford it.’

‘I’ll find the money,’ said James desperately.

Though he had no idea where. They had already sunk everything they had into the business.

There was no way the bank would lend them more money to cover the cost of a new sound system.

They were still paying back the government loans that had got them through Covid.

‘I’m not just talking about the cinema,’ said Sarah ominously. ‘Didn’t you listen to anything I said on Saturday?’

He had listened and felt terrible about the fact that his wife felt so unhappy and unfulfilled. He just felt powerless to do anything about it. The cinema was running him ragged. He’d love to be around more, but it just wasn’t possible. Not if he was to keep the Picture Palace going.

‘We’ll get through this,’ he said. ‘We’ve gone through rough patches before and we’ve got through them together. Like when my dad passed away, or after Nick was born. We’ve always helped each out.’

‘This feels too big to fix,’ replied Sarah sadly. ‘Maybe we should just cut our losses and walk away.’

James didn’t know whether she was talking about the cinema or their marriage. And he was too scared to ask.

‘You’re catastrophising,’ he said. ‘I’m concerned about you, Sarah. You’ve not been yourself lately.’

‘Exactly!’ cried Sarah. ‘That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I’ve lost all sense of who I am. I feel … invisible.’

James stared at her in disbelief. How could she feel this way? It didn’t make any sense. Of course she wasn’t invisible. She was the very centre of their family. They all adored her.

‘I think you should go to the doctor,’ suggested James. ‘You’re not sleeping well and you seem angry all the time.’

Sarah laughed humourlessly. ‘When would I even find the time to go to the doctor? I’m too busy ferrying Mum around to her doctor’s appointments.’

‘I’m worried that your anxiety is back,’ said James.

Sarah slammed her mug down on the counter. ‘How dare you psychoanalyse me!’ she shouted. ‘Or pretend that this is all just in my head?’

‘Whoa! That’s not what I meant!’ protested James.

‘I’m not the only one with a problem. This isn’t about me, James. It’s about us.’

‘I’m just worried about you,’ said James. ‘The last time you were sick, I didn’t realise until too late. I don’t want to make that mistake again. I want to help.’

‘Well, you have an interesting way of showing it,’ said Sarah sarcastically. ‘By creating even more work for me.’

James held up his hands in defeat. ‘Look, if you really don’t want to go to the cinema tonight, I’ll go. It’s just that I promised Holly I would help her with her homework.’

‘No, of course I’ll go. I’ll do what’s needed, just like I always do.’ Sarah put on her coat, grabbed her bag and went out, slamming the door behind her.

Well, I made a complete mess of that, thought James despondently as he started to make dinner. Somehow he had only made things worse.

‘Where’s Mum?’ Nick asked, coming into the kitchen a while later.

‘She’s had to go to the cinema,’ explained James. ‘Someone called in sick, so she’s covering the evening shift.’ He pointed to the carrots. ‘Can you chop these for me, bud? I’m making shepherd’s pie for dinner.’

Nick washed his hands and started cutting the carrots into neat discs.

‘How was school today?’ asked James.

Nick shrugged. ‘I got a hundred per cent on my maths test. We’re doing geometry.’

‘That’s brilliant.’ James picked up one of the carrot discs. ‘Have you learnt how to calculate the circumference of a circle yet?’

‘Two times pi times the radius,’ said Nick flatly without looking up.

James knew something was wrong. ‘What’s up, Nick? I can tell something’s on your mind.’

‘I heard you and Mum fighting,’ said Nick.

James sighed and put down the peeler. ‘I’m really sorry you had to hear that, Nick. Did it make you feel upset?’

Nick nodded, his eyes welling with tears.

James pulled Nick into a hug. ‘You mustn’t worry, OK? Everybody argues sometimes – even people who love each other very much.’

He knew he was trying to convince himself of that as much as Nick.

James took a deep breath, determined to be strong for his son. ‘Let’s talk about something more cheerful. Can you believe it’s nearly December – almost time for the film festival.’

‘Have you and Mum picked the movies yet?’ asked Nick.

‘Not yet,’ said James. ‘But we will.’

He was sure Sarah didn’t mean what she said on the weekend about not going ahead with the festival. It was a family tradition. All four of them always watched the movies together and Nick was always allowed to stay up late, even on a school night.

James opened the back door and went outside to put the vegetable peelings into the compost pile. Fluffy white flakes were falling from the sky. ‘Nick!’ he called. ‘Nick – come outside!’

The ground and tree branches were already covered in a light dusting of snow.

Jonesy was scampering across the grass, vainly attempting to catch falling snowflakes in his paws.

In the distance, their neighbours’ cottages puffed smoke from their chimneys, their windows and Christmas lights glowing brightly in the dark night.

The countryside looked magical as flakes swirled through the air, like a snow globe come to life.

‘It’s really coming down,’ said James.

Laughing, Nick scooped up some snow and shaped it into a ball. He threw it at Holly’s window, where it hit the glass with a soft thump.

A moment later, she opened her window and stuck her head out. White flakes landed on her dark hair and glowed in the dark night.

‘It’s snowing, Holly!’ Nick called up to her.

‘Yeah, I can see that,’ she said. But a few minutes later she joined them outdoors. Soon, she and Nick were running around, laughing and flinging handfuls of snow at each other. James wished Sarah were there too.

‘Make a wish!’ he called to the kids. ‘It’s the first snowfall of the season.’

He closed his eyes and looked up to the heavens. Cold flakes landed on his cheeks and eyelids, like angel’s kisses, as he made his wish.

Please let this be a good Christmas, he thought. And let me find a way to make Sarah happy again.

8th December 2006