Page 11

EPILOGUE

The creak of the RV door opening pulls me from my nap, and I open my eyes just enough to see Kieran striding up the stairs with Bagheera in his arms. Out of all three cats, he’s the one who apparently was built for RV life. Or semi RV life, since we’re not always here.

A harness is fixed around his body, and he doesn’t even squirm as Kieran closes the door behind him before setting the black cat down and unsnapping the harness. Surprisingly, none of the cats ever try to bolt out the door.

But then again, none of them appreciate the great outdoors very much. They’re too spoiled, and they like using Val as a bed too much, I’ve decided.

Bagheera purrs and slinks down the hallway, undoubtedly toward the bed where I know Val is still asleep.

Kieran looks at me, one brow raised as if expecting me to remark on it, but I only bury my face back into the pillow on the sofa and sigh. “How long until we’re there?” I ask finally, moving my legs to curl them up and give Kieran space to sit.

He does so, only to drag my legs back into his lap and rest his arm across them. “A few more hours,” Kieran tells me. “Are you doing okay?”

“I could so drive. And I’m fine. I told you, I’m built for long drives.” I chuckle sleepily. Seconds later, I hear the television turn on, and I open my eyes to see Kieran hunting for something to watch. “I vote for one of the ER shows. You know, the super cheesy ones, not the medical drama type.”

He snorts at my suggestion, but seconds later, dramatic music is playing, and the warning about this being a re-enactment and not to follow any medical advice from this show pops up on the screen. It’s enough to make me sit up, and I lean into Kieran to bury my face in his shoulder.

“What if I said it?” I ask, more curious than anything. I don’t really expect him to have any idea what I’m talking about, and judging by the way he reaches over to stroke his fingers through my hair, he doesn’t.

“Said what?” Val thumps down on the sofa next to me, sounding incredibly tired after his three hour driving shift this morning. Unlike Kieran and me, he really is not made for long drives. He’s made for sleep, for naps, and for cuddling, I’ve learned in the last month.

“The L-word. The one you guys like to throw around when you want something,” I tease, sitting up between them and curling my legs under myself. “I guess it’s not a big deal to you guys. I’ve just never said it to someone other than, like, my mom. So, it’s sort of a big deal.”

A really big deal, but I’d prefer to play it off as not that major.

“Sorry. I’m being dumb,” I add, letting my head flop onto Val’s shoulder. “Also, we’ve seen this episode. It’s the licorice one, where the guy flips out and the woman eats like ten pounds of licorice before their wedding, so?—”

Unexpectedly, Kieran drags me down onto his lap, face up, so I have to meet his gaze. I wiggle, trying not to break my spine, and helpfully Val pulls my legs onto his lap before running his fingers up and down my exposed calves.

“I love you,” Kieran tells me, his gaze even.

“And I love you,” Val agrees. “Even though you almost beat me to death with your hanukiah last night. For barely stepping on Finn’s tail.”

A smile twitches at my lips as I gaze at Kieran, though I look up a second later to give Val the look. “You deserved it. He’s delicate,” I inform him just as Kieran drags me back down.

“You don’t have to say it,” Kieran tells me. “You can if you want to, or you can wait until you feel more comfortable with it. You?—”

“I love you.” The words come out quickly, a bit jumbled, so I take a breath to try again. “I love you both. You’re sort of awful since, you know…murder, kidnapping, torture. All of that.” Sitting up again, I reach out to card my fingers through Val’s hair. “But I love you. For better or worse, which definitely makes me probably really fucked up and in need of a lot of therapy.”

Kieran turns to rest his head on my shoulder from behind, and I pull Val a little bit closer so I’m once again trapped between their warmth and at their mercy.

It’s exactly where I want to be.

Where I always want to be.

“We’ll be home for Valentine’s Day. We’ll do something very couple-ish,” Val promises me. “Well, thruple-ish. You know.”

“Home like Nashville, home like the creepy mountain cabin, or home like some weird warehouse place? Since that seems like your aesthetic?” I can’t help but ask in a dry voice.

“Home like Nashville,” Kieran promises. “If that’s what you want.” His arms come up to circle my waist, and I sigh before leaning back into him while dragging Val along with me.

“I love you,” I say again. “I just want to be around both of you. Besides, the cats are really loving RV life, and I can work from anywhere thanks to the magic of the internet. So home can be wherever you want it to be.” I take a breath, knowing this next part is going to sound cheesy as hell. “Home can just be with you guys.”

Neither of them speaks. But Val is quick to kiss me, and Kieran follows suit by burying his face against my throat. Before long, I know we won’t be leaving on time, and yet again, Kieran is going to have to call Sam and make up some excuse for us being a few more hours later.

Not that he’ll complain.

Especially if he’s fucking my mouth when he makes that call.

T he building is much less ‘industrial nightmare’ and more ‘gothic hellscape’ than I expected. Turning to look at Erika, I see her shrug and give me the same flat glance in return. “I don’t know,” she says with a sigh, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I don’t get to pick. That’s a Kieran and Samuel thing, since they have the money.”

Kieran being a rich trust fund kid hadn’t been on my bucket list for the New Year, but I suppose neither was ‘date two murderers and tell them you love them.’ So what do I know?

“I think I prefer warehouses,” I admit with my hands shoved in my pockets. I’m still shivering in my hoodie and sweatpants, thanks to Indiana’s current shitty winter phase that feels more like Alaska than the lower forty-eight. “Is that weird? Do you have a preference?”

“Warehouses,” Erika tells me after a moment. She bites her lip, and from the corner of my eye, I can see her looking unsure. Like she’s hunting for words that she can’t quite come up with. “Sometimes I regret telling you,” she admits at last, surprising me into looking straight at her.

“Why?” I ask. “You mean telling me where they were, right? Why regret that?” But I can read the answer in her face before I finish my question. “Because you think I’d be better off trying to be normal still…”

She nods, looking away. “Sorry. I don’t hate you or dislike you. And it’s not that I don’t want you here. I actually think we could be friends.”

“You’re only saying that because you like my cats,” I point out with a wry smile. “But that’s fine. I totally agree that they’re charming as hell.”

Erika snorts, rolling her eyes in a move I can only call delicate . Though, everything about her really is exactly that. She’s the most delicate, feminine creature I’ve ever seen. Especially when she dons her doll mask and murders people.

“The novelty wears off quick,” she informs me. “It becomes more like a job. Something you have to do. But you don’t have to do it.” She takes a step closer to me, shivering under her pretty cardigan. “Fuck, it’s cold. I thought Indiana would be a little warmer than the Arctic Circle.”

“Indiana doesn’t know where it is, or what the appropriate seasonal temperature is ever supposed to be,” I mutter, tilting my head to the side as I hear footsteps crunching on the gravel behind us. Erika takes it as her cue to leave, and within seconds, Val’s arms are draped over my shoulders as he pulls me back into his warmth.

“You okay?” he asks softly, nuzzling the side of my face. “Was she telling you to go home?”

“Something like that,” I admit, adjusting his arms around me. A flicker of unease goes through me, and I lean into him. “You don’t want that, right?” I ask, eyeing the dilapidated old house as Kieran approaches to stand beside us.

“No,” the taller, darker-haired man tells me instantly. “We don’t want that.” He reaches out to run his fingers through his hair. “We want you with us, Noa. Always.”

“Literally always,” Val agrees. “Even when we’re covered in blood.”

The words feel heavy. Like a commitment.

Like a promise I shouldn’t want to keep.

But it hasn’t happened yet, nothing about them is enough to chase me away. So I settle back against Val with the knowledge that no matter how bad or how brutal they may be, they’re a permanent part of my life.

I need them, just like they need me. And if they’re willing to put up with my questions, cats, and terrible sleep schedule, then I’m willing to put up with the murder .

After all, fair’s fair .