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Chapter twenty-five

Colt

M y attraction to HexXdoll has turned fatal. I can’t get her out of my head. She’s right. My bed is empty and lonely, but a part of me is still holding on to Maddox. I haven’t seen her since the night we hooked up in my shower. Fuck, I regret that day. I should’ve gone after her the second I realized she was gone. If I had hurried, maybe I could’ve shown up to her house right behind her, convinced her I followed her out. Then I wouldn’t need to confess what I’ve done—and what I’m tempted to do again. Because not seeing her is gut-wrenching. Nothing gets me off anymore. She fucking ruined me.

Can HexXdoll put me back together a second time? I owe it to myself to close the door with Maddox completely. Maybe once I do, I can finally meet HexXdoll. My hand slips down to relieve my cock, rocking my hips into my grip. I close my eyes, trying to think of HexXdoll as I stroke up and down my length, growing harder and harder with each pass. But all our flirty back-and-forth doesn’t compare to the night I spent buried inside my obsession.

Clearing my head, I turn my thoughts back to HexXdoll again, but they keep circling back to Maddox and how good that sweet little pussy of hers gripped my dick and refused to let go. “Fuck,” I moan, giving into my desire.

Call me reckless. Stupid. Unhinged. But I need to know what we had can’t be saved. I’m going to confess. Then what, Colt? I ask myself with a sigh. Closing my eyes I imagine the scene: she’s on her knees in front of me, sucking my cock, accepting me back, needing me as much as I need her. A shiver of pleasure ripples over my body. I thrust into those pretty, pink lips, apologizing with each pass, her gorgeous green eyes staring up at me, swallowing every drop and taking me all the way down her throat as I explode. Hot cum leaks down my hand. I grab my discarded shirt from where it lays on the floor and clean myself off. I’m not doing anything tonight. Snuggling into my pillow, I drift into a deep sleep.

When I wake up, I roll over and check the chat. Disappointment floods through me. She hasn’t messaged. Still satiated with guilt I reread some of our old messages, my mind drifting back to Maddox. At the very least, she deserves to know why I ghosted her–and that I wasn’t looking for a booty call. I owe her an apology. Shit. If I wanted a booty call—my thoughts trail off, but I shake my head, bringing myself back to reality. It doesn’t matter how easy it would be for me to sleep around. I don’t want to fuck my emotions away, not unless it’s with one of two people.

I shouldn’t be thinking about both of these women like this, as if they are simply interchangeable accessories, because they aren’t—and it’s not like I can have them both. I take a deep breath, running my hands over my face and into my hair, giving it a frustrated tug. I got involved with Maddox first, and before I move on—if that’s what we decide to do—I need to break things off with her formally, not the coward’s way.

There’s one small problem: Uncle Ricky. He’s been strict about us laying low. Aidan stayed behind in Mexico, and I haven’t set foot in the bar since the night of the shooting. Uncle’s had men stationed all over, keeping tabs on everything. Even if I wanted to see Maddox, it’s damn near impossible to waltz out the front door whenever I want. I’m going to have to wait until tonight. There’s a better chance she’ll be home then anyway.

Fuck my uncle. Fuck his orders. Fuck laying low. Tonight, I’m going to either win back my woman, or I’m going to let her go and never look back.

My phone chimes. I don’t even need to check the screen to know it’s her. A smile spreads across my lips when I read her note.

HexXdoll

How much did it suck to wake up without me?

I chuckle. I love how confident she is. This girl is relentless in her pursuit of me, and I fucking adore it.

Level-Up-Dom

I slept like a baby. There’s so much room for me to stretch out in my big, empty bed.

HexXdoll

Sounds like you need a bigger bed.

Level-Up-Dom

Why’s that, temptress?

HexXdoll

Obviously, the bed you have isn’t big enough to miss me, with how wild you sleep.

Fuck. This woman is a tease. If I agree to meet her and she turns out to be some creepy middle-aged dude catfishing me, I’m going to have to gouge my eyes out and break my own fingers just to make sure I never type again. My stomach flip-flops full of nerves as I type a reply.

Level-Up-Dom

Cute. What if I told you I’ll consider it?

HexXdoll

I’d ask, consider what? Getting a bigger bed? I say go for it. You only live once.

Level-Up-Dom

I meant more along the lines of meeting you.

I can’t believe I’m typing this. Why am I getting ahead of myself? What if Maddox takes me back? I can’t meet HexXdoll if Maddox takes me back. It would be wrong. Or would it be so bad to have options? What if HexXdoll is the one and I miss out on finding my person because I’m stuck obsessing over Maddox?

Goddamnit! This is exactly why I should’ve met her months ago, then I wouldn’t be in this situation. I hate myself. I seriously hate my selfish, greedy self. One woman isn’t enough for me? No, I have to risk all that for a potential soulmate I have a nagging feeling about. Her reply chimes, pulling me out of my head and back to my self-destructing reality.

HexXdoll

Give me a time and a place and I’ll let you know if I can be there.

Level-Up-Dom

For now… TBD.

***

After spending my day plotting my escape—and going over the thousands of things I’ve thought about saying to Maddox—it’s finally time to make my move. As soon as night falls, I slip onto the balcony and down the fire escape. Once the patrol rounds the corner of the building on their perimeter lap, I hop down to the alley and take off running for the parking garage across the street, where I pay to park my baby in an enclosed space. In the garage, I stick the keys into the ignition and let my bike warm up while I put on my helmet. Then, with my headlights off, I roll out onto the street and away from the bar.

I’ll have to circle a few blocks in a quick loop to get to her house. I still remember the way. Every street I pass brings me closer to seeing Maddox again. It also means I’m closer to making a full confession, which has my stomach in knots. The dread of coming face-to-face with her hits me full swing, and I find myself taking a wrong turn, subconsciously delaying our meeting another few minutes.

It’s now or never, I remind myself, working up the nerve to turn down her street as I approach it on my second lap. The gears shift down as I sIow for the turn, taking a shaky breath and releasing the clutch. Focus on the positive. She might be happy to see me. But I know deep down that’s just a lie I’m telling myself because I need closure in order to move on with HexXdoll. With the way things are headed, what I’m about to do almost feels cruel. What if Maddox moved on, and here I am, showing up on her doorstep, ready to wreak havoc on her emotions? I’m such a selfish asshole, but at this point, I don’t care. If being selfish is what it takes to find a happily ever after like my brother has, then I’m willing to take the big risks. I ease my bike to a stop in front of her townhouse, cutting the engine and looking up the well-lit pathway leading to her front door. It’s exactly the kind of place I could picture her living. Great area, trendy—a place you want to come home to.

I pull my helmet off and rake my fingers over my messy hair, trying to make it presentable, but once the helmet goes on, there’s really no saving it. My heart is pounding as I move, step by step, up the path to her front porch. I suck in air and hold my breath, raising my free hand to knock three times.