Page 31 of Charlie Sunshine (Close Proximity #2)

A smile tugs at Misha’s mouth, but it quickly dies, and we go back to glaring at each other.

“Perhaps that character should have tried harder, rather than leaving the other person feeling like shit,” he suggests.

“Perhaps he tried and couldn’t get through because the other person was sulking like a child.”

“Perhaps the other character was very hurt and just thought, ‘Fuck him.’”

“You know, I think I’d like to read this one,” Mr Pinter breaks in. “It sounds much more interesting than the other stuff Charlie picked.”

A nerve ticks in Misha’s jaw.

“Perhaps,” I say loudly, and Mr Jessop jumps. “Perhaps the other character needs to apologise, and they just need to talk.”

“Well, that’s a very tired and predictable plot device,” Rita says disapprovingly.

Misha shrugs. “Maybe that’s all it takes,” he says.

Joan drains her glass. “Well, the wine’s all gone,” she says.

“So that’s me finished. Wine always helps me deal with people.

It’s never a good idea to let it run dry during book club, Charlie.

Perhaps we should pick our books for next week, and Rita can make sure that she actually reads them this time. ”

“I did read them,” Rita hisses. “Charlie, is it possible that you and Misha have a different copy? You know, like when they put out adult versions of the Harry Potter books?”

“They put out adult covers ,” I say patiently and for the five hundredth time. “There was no adult content to go with them. Harry and Ron didn’t suddenly start going to strip bars. Hermione didn’t huff glue with Nearly Headless Nick.”

The sudden silence is broken by Mr Pinter’s bark of laughter.

“I want to read books like that. Remember when Mrs Hannigan was a member, and she chose all those covers with the men with their abs? What did you call them, Rita? An abomination of literature?” He nudges her. “Bet you didn’t skim those books.”

“I didn’t skim anything ,” she starts to say but is interrupted as everyone stands and begins to chatter about next week’s selections.

After helping them with getting their books stamped, I see them to the door. I breathe a silent sigh of relief as they wave goodbye and vanish into the night.

Joan pauses as she’s on her way out. “Where’s that Misha gone?” she asks, craning her neck around.

“Oh, I think he went out first,” I lie blithely. I am quite aware that he’s leaning against the non-fiction stacks at the back of the library.

“Shame. Hope he comes again. He had a very different way of looking at books.”

“You can say that again,” I mutter, smiling.

I close and lock the doors. Silence falls. “Bring me the shutter bolts, will you?” I call, and Misha’s dark figure detaches from the shadows. He stops at the counter and leans over, coming up with the Tupperware box containing the bolts used to lock the shutters.

I press the button, and the shutters rattle down. The noise is unnaturally loud in the silence between us, and abruptly I’ve had enough. I hate feeling like I can’t reach out and touch him or speak to him.

“Well, I think we’ve learnt some lessons tonight,” I say over-brightly.

“Is it that your book club don’t actually read the books you choose?” he says. “Or that you behaved like a complete tosser this morning?”

“Misha,” I say imploringly. “I’m so sorry.”

“Really? And what exactly are you sorry for?” There’s a peculiar sense of waiting about him, as if he’s holding his breath.

“Well, for walking out like that this morning. I still can’t believe I did it.”

He flicks his fingers over the shutter, still not looking at me. “So, why did you, Charlie?”

“I don’t know.” He finally looks at me, startled, and I shrug helplessly. “I really don’t know. I woke up, and I panicked. I thought?— ”

“What did you think?” he says urgently.

He’s suddenly closer to me, and I inhale sharply. “I thought we’d ruined everything.”

“And have we?” His voice is hushed.

“You tell me.” I sigh. “Misha, this is massive. In one step, we changed everything, and we never discussed it. We just did it.”

He looks down at his hands, and I notice that he’s balled them into fists. “And you regret it?” he says tonelessly.

“ No .” It bursts out of me, and it’s the most honest reaction I’ve had today. “No,” I say more quietly. “I can’t regret it.”

His chest rises and falls quickly. “Why?” The question is sharp and fast.

I swallow hard. This is the moment of truth. “Because I loved it,” I whisper.

He makes a graceless aborted gesture.

“Misha?” I say imploringly. I’m relieved when his expression shifts from an icy mask into something warmer.

“I don’t regret it either,” he says firmly.

“You don’t?” Hope and fear run through me. “Why?”

“Because it felt like the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

I gasp. “Really?” He nods. “But we never discussed it.”

“If we’d done that, we’d still be discussing it, Charlie. And we’re talking now, aren’t we?”

“So what do you want to do?”

Misha runs his hand roughly through his hair. His sleeve falls back, revealing faint finger marks on his wrist. I go hot and cold, remembering how I’d clutched it tightly as he’d moved inside me.

He reads something in my face, because he instantly moves close and gently pushes a hank of my hair behind my ear.

It’s such a familiar gesture, one that he’s done so many times over the years, but it’s suddenly layered with so much new knowledge.

Misha is tender like this when he makes love.

He’s also passionate and hot and irresistibly sexy.

And he tastes so fucking good on my tongue.

And his eyes turn an incredible shade of blue when he comes and?—

“Charlie, I want to explore what this is,” he says, and there’s a surety to his voice.

“Really?”

He nods.

“But how? I mean, are we fuck buddies now? You won’t go out on Grindr hook-ups because you’ve got me at home? Because I don’t think I can do that.”

He starts to laugh.

“ Misha !” I say crossly. “What the hell is so funny?”

He reaches out and hugs me tight, and I nestle into him, feeling a wave of relief flood through me that we’re touching again.

“Do you really think that after all these years of knowing you that I’d actually suggest casual hook-ups?” His voice rich with emotion. “You’d come out in hives at the suggestion.”

“So what?”

He kisses the side of my head. “I want to date you, you twat,” he says.

I jerk back. “ What ?”

“I want to date you.”

“You don’t date, Misha.”

“Well, I think I might like to start.”

“But why?”

He shakes his head in bemusement. “Why are you suddenly the most difficult person in the whole world? When did this happen?”

I shrug, and he kisses me so quickly that I have just enough time to register the softness of his lips before he draws back.

“I’m not sure what’s going on,” he says.

“I don’t have any plans. Fuck, this is the opposite of careful planning.

But I want you. I want to fuck you again.

” His eyes darken. “I want to keep fucking you because that was the single most intense experience I’ve ever had.

” I inhale shakily. “But I also want to be with you, Charlie, and I can honestly say I’ve never had that before.

Usually, as soon as I’ve come, I’m preparing to fuck off.

If you’d asked me yesterday what I’d do if we slept together, I’d have said that I’d have agreed with the way you skedaddled out of the flat this morning.

But then it happened to me, and… You hurt me, Charlie. ”

“Oh no,” I say, stepping into his arms and hugging him tightly. His body is hot, and the muscles in his torso are tight under my hands. “I’m so sorry, Misha.”

“I’m not,” he says.

I stare at him disbelievingly.

“Okay, I was fucking furious, but that told me more than I’d have learnt from having a long talk .” I glare, and he smiles. “It told me that this is important and that I need more of it. I know I won’t get that with a hook-up agreement.”

“So, you want to date? You don’t date ever .”

“Not until you.” He shrugs. “I can’t explain it any better. I woke up wanting a lot more from you, and you know me, Charlie. I don’t hesitate much with life stuff.” I repress a smile, and he looks suddenly unsure. “What do you think?”

I look at him. Really look at him for the first time today.

My best friend is still here standing in front of me.

He looks the same as he ever has, but there’s a difference now because I know what he feels like naked against me, the scent between his legs, and how he looks when he fucks me.

Completely and utterly focused. And in the end, my decision is easy.

“I want more too, but we have to swear that if this goes wrong, we’ll still be each other’s best friends,” I say.

“I promise ,” he says fiercely. “I don’t know where this road is going, Charlie, but we’re travelling together, and that’s all I’ll ever need.”

I smile at him, and he makes a funny noise in his throat before pulling me into him and kissing me.

His lips are full and soft, the scent of bergamot is citrussy around me, and his body is hard and already familiar against mine.

And even though we’re standing in a dark, dusty library foyer, it’s bloody epic and everything I never knew I needed.