Page 12

Chapter twelve

T he moment Odelle closed her eyes, Antony shook her awake again. The fire burned down to embers before her suggested otherwise, though. Odelle squinted at the sky, trying to gauge the time of day, but with the sun refusing to fully crest the horizon, she couldn’t say. The permanent gray tinge to the landscape only deepened the feeling of exhaustion.

“We should get moving,” Antony said.

Odelle scrubbed the sleep from her eyes, cursing inwardly as she once again forgot about the eye makeup smeared across her face, and pushed herself to sit up. A groan escaped her lips as she twisted, trying to relieve some of the stiffness from her spine. Her joints cracked several times even as her muscles creaked in protest. She couldn’t tell whether her soreness stemmed from sleeping on the ground or tensing her muscles against the icy wind. It was probably both.

“Where are we getting moving to?” Odelle asked Antony as he passed her the now dry thermoplastic socks.

Antony jerked his gaze away from Odelle as she hiked up her dress to roll the fabric up her thigh. He cleared his throat.

“Well, anywhere that isn’t here sounds like a good place to start. We don’t have anything to help us get home, so anything we find is an advantage.”

“You make being stranded in the wilderness sound so positive.” Odelle snorted.

“Well, it can’t—”

“Don’t you dare say it can’t get any worse,” Odelle scolded as she pushed to her feet, shifting her weight from foot to foot to press any extra air out of her sockets. “You’ll summon a bear to maul us at that rate.”

“I was actually going to say that it can’t hurt to think positively, but alright.”

Antony kicked some snow over the ashes of the fire as Odelle poked her head out of their alcove. The cold wind didn’t smack in her in the face like it had before, raising her spirits a tad.

“Which way?” Odelle questioned as Antony stepped out of the rock beside her.

“Lady's choice,” he offered.

Odelle grimaced. So much for him having some magical radar to sense help. They really were shooting in the dark here. She gestured at the gentle uphill slope leading toward another formation of rocks.

“Let’s head up there. Maybe if we gain some elevation, we’ll be able to see what direction might have civilization.”

An hour later, Odelle regretted her decision. Climbing uphill through the snow was grueling work, although she didn’t relish the idea of slipping downhill on the treacherous footing either. When they set out, Antony and Odelle had conversed, trying to keep the mood up by talking about Odelle’s favorite restaurants, or how a microwave worked. She learned that his favorite food was anything sweet, and he found that her favorite flowers were roses even though she hated to admit it and risk seeming cliché .

“The flower of Aphrodite,” he reflected at her admission, resulting in a moment of silence before Odelle changed the subject by launching into a tirade about the lack of pockets in women’s clothes.

Now though, only their heavy breathing and the crunch of untouched snow broke the silence. It was the type of silence that one only experienced in the truly wild places of the world, where the ever-present din of mankind couldn’t reach. Odelle wished she could quiet her panting, feeling as though she were disturbing something she had no right to.

After another half an hour, Odelle paused, leaning up against a dark, rocky outcropping. No longer hearing her footsteps behind him, Antony halted as Odelle tried to adjust her sock. Even though they were the thicker ones she wore in winter, the biting cold had shrunk her residual limb even more than usual, causing her calf to slide around. The blisters from the night before throbbed in protest. Odelle let out a low growl of frustration at having slowed them down. Sometimes, these things just couldn’t be helped though.

Seeing the problem, Antony sat down on the rock next to her, and kicked off his shoes. Odelle opened her mouth to protest, but he had already peeled off his socks and held them out to her. Something about the matter-of-fact way he handed the garments to her soothed Odelle’s concerns. He didn’t suggest they stop and rest, just solved the problem with the tools available to them. Reluctant to look a gift horse in the mouth, Odelle took the socks and padded the inside of her socket. Antony slid his bare feet back into his boots and they began trudging on once more without a word.

Odelle no longer knew how long they’d been walking. In the gray light and monotonous snow-covered landscape, time didn’t seem to have much meaning. Their progress through space wasn’t much more significant, with each rocky slope giving way to another. All Odelle could focus on anyways was the cold. While at first, her coat had protected her from the worst of it, now the wind reached icy tendrils into her clothes and the chill had seeped into her bones. Any warmth she had generated from physical exertion had long since dissolved. A dull pain throbbed in her back and hips, and her muscles spasmed weakly. She couldn’t even think straight as she tried to reason herself through the discomfort. Was it possible to get frostbite on your brain?

A solid object in front of Odelle nearly knocked her over, but Antony’s arm around her shoulders caught her. She had been too distracted to notice that he had stopped walking, busy watching her feet trekking through the snow and deliriously amused by the fact that she couldn’t get frostbite in her toes.

“Do you smell that?” Antony asked.

Odelle lifted her face to the air, not saying that she was pretty sure her nose was just a decorative ice cube at this point. Sure enough, the wind carried a scent at odds with the frigid landscape—something like burnt matches.

“Sulfur,” Antony confirmed. “We might be near a hot spring.”

Odelle pictured immersing herself in warm water, and tears pricked her eyes at the image. She blinked rapidly as the moisture started to freeze immediately, stinging her skin. She trailed Antony as he began walking again, veering off their former course. He kept his nose in the air, sniffing periodically and following his sense of smell like a very tall bloodhound. Their pace had slowed considerably before, but now they moved briskly, driven forward by the promise of warmth. A slight trickling noise cut through the sound of their walking, growing louder. No longer having to follow Antony’s sense of smell, they pushed towards the sound until a rocky ledge parted to reveal their prize .

A natural pit of dark stones held turquoise water, steam gently rising and coalescing before being stolen away by the winds. Ripples raced across the surface from where a small trickling waterfall fed into the pool.

Odelle lurched forward, falling to her knees at the edge and plunging her hand into the water. She hissed as it scalded her fingers, but the burn was a pleasant one. It was the feeling of cold fingers in the shower, making any warmth feel boiling. She sat sideways on one hip, kicking off her legs as fast as she could manage, stripping off her socks. Then, she scooted forward to dip her calves in the water. The moan that escaped her would have been obscene in most circumstances, but Odelle couldn’t bring herself to care. Not when her sore, frozen limbs were being enveloped in warmth.

A rustle behind her drew her attention, reminding her that Antony was just standing there.

“Are you going to join me, or are you enjoying freezing to death?” Odelle shot over her shoulder.

At her words, he sat down next to her, kicking off his boots and plunging his bare feet into the water. He echoed her earlier groan, and Odelle tried not to watch the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he threw his head back at the sensation.

Instead, Odelle distracted herself by unbuttoning her coat. She needed to get as much of her body in this water as she could, as soon as possible. Shrugging off her coat, she unzipped the side zipper of her dress and began to shimmy it off over her head. The narrow part of the waist caught on her shoulder, and in her cold, uncoordinated state, she struggled to free herself. As she cursed whoever had invented side zipper dresses, a choking noise came from next to her. Odelle chose to ignore the fact that Antony was laughing at her predicament .

Once the dress was discarded with her coat, the cold wind on her bare skin compelled her to sink directly into the hot spring. As much as she wanted to comply, she would regret having to wear wet underwear later. Odelle reached for the clasp of her bra and hesitated for just a moment, but the painful goosebumps on her skin hastened her decision. Antony had made it clear he wasn’t interested in her before, what would it matter if he saw her bare now? Besides, she was not one to be shy about her form. Not when her pride in her appearance was an integral part of the self-assured armor she wore through life.

Odelle didn’t look at Antony as she shrugged out of her bra and shimmied her underwear down her hips, lifting her legs out of the water to kick them on top of the pile of clothes. Not even a whisper of movement could be heard from where Antony sat.

Not willing to be exposed to the elements and Antony’s gaze a moment longer, Odelle levered herself off the edge and into the beckoning, heavenly water. Sinking down to her chin, she took in a deep breath, letting the steam rising from the surface into her lungs where warmth bloomed in her chest. While she could sit on a rocky ledge inside the pool, Odelle let herself float, relieving pressure from her screaming back and thighs.

Finally, less delirious with cold and able to think about things other than warm water, Odelle leaned her head back against the rocky ledge to look at Antony. While his feet still dangled in the water, he hadn’t moved an inch. He stared fixedly at his knees as if they held the answers of the universe.

“Are you going to get in?” Odelle asked, and then cringed. Even though her brain still didn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders, she realized now that she was suggesting that Antony swim naked with her— a man who had rejected her, and who still had a gaze that made her lose her train of thought.

Antony seemed startled and glanced at Odelle, only to look away just as quickly. She resisted the urge to fold her arms over her chest. He was the one who had pushed her away, so why should she care if her nakedness affected him? Still, seeing some color rise on his already cold-flushed cheeks, Odelle couldn’t leave well enough alone.

“Are you too shy?” she challenged.

This time Antony met her eyes without looking away. While he adamantly kept his eyes on her face, he did offer a wry smile.

“I was young when public bathhouses were popular. If I were shy, I would have died of shame a long time ago,” he commented, starting to unbutton his own coat. “I thought you might be the one to be shy. As far as I know, most of the world isn’t as comfortable with nudity as we were twenty-five-hundred years ago.”

It was Odelle’s turn to swallow thickly, but she didn’t look away as Antony tugged his sweater over his head.

“Be that as it may, there are certain exceptions to modesty when it comes to wilderness survival,” Odelle pointed out. “Not to mention, this is hardly my first time skinny dipping.”

“Skinny dipping?” Antony questioned, popping the button on his fly.

Odelle’s mouth had gone dry, but she refused to let Antony hear any change in her voice.

“You know, swimming naked.”

“Why would you swim with your clothes on?” Antony was now only clad in boxer briefs that left little to the imagination. Odelle was lucky that her cheeks were already rosy from the steamy water.

“Not in your clothes. You wear a bathing suit,” Odelle clarified .

Antony was now fully naked, and Odelle was reminded of the sculpture of Perseus she had seen when she visited the Metropolitan Museum, but notably missing the fig leaf. She was unsure whether that was a blessing or a curse. Then Antony plunged into the water, and Odelle could breathe again.

“I think I was born with a perfectly good bathing suit,” Antony commented as he also tried to sink as much of himself under the surface as possible.

Odelle blinked, having lost the thread of the conversation. The silence coalesced around them, thicker than the steam rising from the pool’s surface.

“What do you miss most about the time before the Defeat?” Odelle asked, uncomfortable with quiet in their current position. “Surely it’s not the bath houses.”

“No, not the bath houses,” Antony chuckled before contemplating her question. He sighed before answering.

“I guess it’s not something I miss. But I just hate feeling like I’m the only one who remembers how things used to be.” Antony’s eyes held a deep sadness—a sorrow of a type that Odelle was sure people with normal lifespans rarely experienced. It was an uncommon look on his normally smiling face.

“The other members of the Eteria, they remember too, don’t they?” Odelle yearned to dispel some of the sorrow in Antony’s eyes.

Antony scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Not quite. I’m… Well—I’m the oldest member of the Eteria, by quite a bit actually. Oldest surviving member that is,” Antony said it sheepishly, as if it were a fact he was embarrassed by. Odelle’s shock must have shown on her face because Antony continued, “Most people don’t expect that. I think because my…optimistic outlook…shall we say , makes me come off as na?ve. But most of the others—Thad, Adam, Seraphina—they joined the Eteria when the Shadow was already gaining power. They barely finished their training before they were thrown into battle after battle. That’s how they remember the Eteria.”

Antony trailed off, but now that Odelle had a peek inside his head, she craved more.

“And how do you remember the Eteria?” Odelle asked.

At that, Antony smiled wistfully.

“I remember when the Eteria wasn’t always about fighting. When there was dancing every night and art and music. A lot of books, and a lot of lively discussions. I had time to make children’s toys, instead of churning out so many spears I went cross-eyed.” Antony’s tone took on a bitter edge. “Not that our devotion to the Light held the Shadow at bay indefinitely. Although fighting only granted us a pyrrhic victory.”

Nora had mentioned that art and music and celebration were all products of the Light, but all her tales of the Eteria had focused on fighting the Shadow with spears and swords. Antony’s Eteria sounded different. It sounded like a place that Odelle could have been happy.

Antony leaned back against the edge of the pool, propping himself up with his arm, revealing the tattoo of olive leaves around his upper arm. The pattern echoed the crown that had landed them in this mess.

“You really like olive leaves,” Odelle commented, nodding at his tattoo.

Antony looked down and snorted almost derisively. It didn’t sound right coming from him.

“Everybody in the Eteria gets a tattoo on their arm that signifies their commitment to the Light and represents their role. Mine is a symbol of peace.” Antony tipped his head back to rest on the stone lip, staring up at the sky. “A goal I still believe in, but it didn’t do me much good when war forced itself upon us.”

Antony’s dejected manner tugged at Odelle’s heartstrings, and she grasped at ways to comfort an age-old hurt.

“Well, there are other Healers and Smiths, right? I feel like making things and healing people are both more peaceful jobs.”

Antony snorted without humor once more.

“That’s the other thing that I’m the only person left to remember. I’m the only Smith who survived the Defeat.” Antony’s tone was flat, holding no emotion.

His voice was normally so expressive, and the lack of emotion broke Odelle’s heart more than any sadness would have.

“I’m—I’m so sorry,” Odelle murmured, once again struck by how inadequate those words were in response to all the Eteria had suffered.

“I’m one of the lucky ones,” Antony said with a shake of his head, “And I shouldn’t be. Of the handful of people who survived the Defeat, I should not rank among them.”

His words rendered Odelle utterly speechless, such a sharp contrast to the positive energy she had come to associate with Antony, a man full of curiosity and vigor.

“Why not?” She eventually asked. She wanted to tell him it wasn’t true. Even if she personally was frustrated and hurt by him, it didn’t mean he should have died with his brothers in arms long ago.

“Because I’m not strong in combat.” Antony rubbed wearily at his jaw. “Actually, that’s an understatement. I’m probably the worst fighter the Eteria has ever seen. And all those who could use a weapon? They charged into battle and paid with their lives, while I hid behind them. It seems wrong that the strong should die so the weak can live on.”

Once again, Odelle was struck by how inadequate words were to heal a wound this deep, so old it had to have woven itself into the fabric of Antony’s identity. Any of Odelle’s lingering frustration with Antony for his dismissal of her ebbed away in the need to make him understand that she was glad he was alive.

Odelle shifted closer to him, causing ripples to disturb the mirror-like surface of the water. She didn’t know how to soothe an age-old hurt, but something in her told her to reach out for him. The thin rays of light that had lit the landscape as the sun tried to breach the horizon had disappeared and the deeper darkness emboldened her, only moonlight to witness them. Her hand landed on Antony’s arm, covering his tattoo.

He raised his head, lips parted in surprise. Odelle had been going to say something, some words of comfort, but they flew from her mind. Antony’s bicep flexed where she touched him, wiry and taught despite his lean build. Slowly, he raised his hand to touch her face, fingertips leaving a warm, damp trail in their wake down her cheek. She drifted closer still, drawn inexorably to Antony. Maybe it was the emotional weight of the moment or delirium from being stranded in the wilderness, but it didn’t feel like the touch of a man who had rebuffed her advances.

Antony’s eyes sparkled green and blue, and for a moment, Odelle thought he was using magic. Then he turned his face up to the sky, and she followed his gaze. The dark velvet sky was decorated with a rainbow of ethereal lights, dancing to the rhythm of the universe. Odelle couldn’t contain her gasp of astonishment as she beheld the Northern Lights. She looked down at Antony to find her delight echoed in his expression, the former grief softened by wonder.

“Just when you feel hopeless, the world gives you a reason to believe again,” Antony murmured. “It reminds me that I’m not crazy for trying to focus on the beauty out there. ”

Odelle smiled, enamored by the way the surface of the pool reflected the sky, making it appear that they were bathing in the brilliance. The multicolor beams were mirrored by Antony’s wide eyes, twinkling like Christmas lights.

Odelle’s smile faltered. Antony’s eyes looked like they had on Christmas, right before she leaned closer—right before she kissed that enchanting smile and found herself pushed away. The light in his eyes had been shuttered away as he uttered the words that echoed in her mind now.

Women like you don’t end up with men like me.

Whatever bright new world Antony envisioned, he didn’t picture her there with him. She was inconsequential, a blip on his radar as he walked through the ages, protecting the world from an evil most people didn’t even recognize.

Odelle’s hand dropped away from Antony’s arm, falling back into the water with a hollow plunk . She floated away from him, letting her back rest against the side of the pool across from him. He frowned, but Odelle knew she should keep her distance. Being close to him only made her hope for something that Antony had already taken off the table. And the more time Odelle spent with Antony, the more she found that she still hoped for it, despite how angry she had felt at the rejection. She shouldn’t be drawn to a man who could be so callous, but somehow his gentle manner always drew her in. It irked her.

Odelle stared down at her hands, finding her fingers wrinkled from the time in the water. Antony seemed to misunderstand her sudden retreat.

“I know we’re going to look like dried figs if we stay in here too long. Just…heat.” Antony sunk down so low in the water that the surface brushed the curls at the base of his neck.

As much as Odelle reveled in warmth, she suddenly needed to be clothed again. Any resolve she had about her ability to bathe with Antony without thinking about him that way had melted in the steam rising from the hot spring. She pulled herself along the stone lip towards where her clothes lay on the rocks. Turning her back to the edge, she levered herself out to sit on the edge. Instantly, the cold air sucked the remaining heat out of the water on her skin. Her teeth chattered and she was uncomfortably aware of the painful peaks of her nipples as she reached for her clothes. She tugged them on haphazardly, thankful that she didn’t get stuck in her dress this time. She shook her legs and wiped all the water she could off them with her sleeve, knowing better than to put damp legs in her socks.

Splashing from Antony’s side of the pool caught her attention, and she looked up to find him stepping out of the water. Rivulets cascaded down his body, shimmering in the dancing lights from the night sky. Silvery droplets trickled down his back, caressing the defined muscles leading from his spine down to his—Odelle jerked her gaze away to grab her legs. Thoughts like that were what she had been trying to avoid when she decided to conclude their swim.

Antony dressed as hurriedly as her, trying to trap in any heat their bodies had absorbed from the pool. Odelle scanned the landscape around them, keeping her wandering gaze away from Antony. She frowned as she caught sight of an odd crag in the horizon. They had managed to gain some altitude, and from here she could see a rent in the earth, making it look like the sky was extending past the horizon. Odelle squinted, and as her eyes processed what she was looking at, she realized that there was some sort of lake reflecting the sky, making it appear like the aurora borealis was trapped in the ground.

“Look.” Odelle pointed.

Antony followed her gaze. He frowned for a moment, and then gasped. “Odelle, you’re a genius! ”

She stared dumbly. “A genius for spotting a lake?”

“No, for realizing the lake is basically a giant mirror,” Antony gushed.

Odelle was going to point out that she hadn’t actually said that, but Antony barreled on.

“We can use it to portal to the Sanctuary!” He was bouncing on his toes in excitement now, even as he shoved his arms into his sweater.

“Is every mirror a portal to the Sanctuary?” Odelle asked, suddenly picturing herself trying to fit her body through the compact in her purse to pay the Eteria a visit.

“Well—not technically, no.” Antony rubbed his jaw in contemplation. “I know how we can use it as one though.”

“Why not use the hot spring here then?”

Antony shook his head. “It only works with water when it’s perfectly still, and the ripples from the waterfall disturb it too much. That lake is likely frozen. though, so it might work.”

Odelle wanted to argue that Antony sounded dubious, but she bit her tongue. They had encountered no life in a whole day of walking, and she could think of no better alternatives.

“To the lake we go then” Odelle sighed, already dying a little bit inside at the thought of that much more walking. At least they had a destination now.

This time, Odelle led the way, pushing towards the reflected patch of sky. At first, their pace was brisker, energized by having a goal and having raised their body temperatures. The exhaustion set in quickly though, slowing the pair to a mournful trudge. It was the middle of the night, and they needed rest, but to lay down in the snow would be to send an engraved invitation to hypothermia. They had to keep moving.

As they closed the distance between them and the lake, it seemed to warp, growing both closer and farther away. Maybe it was bigger than they had thought it was from a distance. After an hour of walking, Antony was the first to realize.

“It’s a salt flat!” He exclaimed.

Indeed, Odelle could see that they approached a giant mirrored plane, stretching out endlessly before them. It wasn’t long before they stepped out onto the smooth surface. It appeared so much like glass that she expected it to crack under her weight, but instead she looked down to see her own reflection backed by colored lights. Tonight, Odelle had swam in the sky, and now she was standing on it. The aurora borealis twinkled beneath her feet.

Antony fell to his knees beside her, running his fingers over the surface and glancing between it and the sky. He hummed and muttered to himself as if performing some mental calculations. Odelle tried to be patient and not interrupt his thinking, but she couldn’t stop herself from shifting her weight from foot to foot as she waited. If this didn’t work, she didn’t have any other ideas.

Finally, Antony looked up with a smile.

“Ok, this should work,” he declared.

“We can use this as a portal?” Odelle sighed in relief.

“Well, I can turn this into a portal,” Antony clarified with a lopsided shrug, as if this were a small detail he had forgotten to mention.

Odelle’s relief evaporated.

“Wait—won’t you have to use the Light for that? Didn’t you say that imbuing something with Light would put you in a coma? That’s not helpful!” Odelle’s voice rose in volume, harsh against the silence of nature.

“I believe I said that it would probably put me in a coma, but that’s a price I can pay for getting us home. Thad has plenty of experience treating Eteria members that overexert themselves.” Antony brushed off her concern, returning to tracing the ground with his fingertips.

“This isn’t imbuing just anything with Light, this is a salt flat…a whole piece of the earth!” Panic rose in Odelle at the thought of something going wrong and being stuck with no shelter and no way to care for a comatose Antony.

“Making magical objects is the one thing I do know I can do,” Antony reasoned. “I can pull this off.”

His tone sounded more like he was trying to reassure himself than her. Odelle opened her mouth to say that Nora had mentioned using too much Light could kill somebody, but he cut her off.

“When I turn this into a portal, I need you to make sure you’re thinking about the Sanctuary. We’re standing on it, so we’ll fall right in, and I’ll probably be…indisposed.”

Odelle nodded. Not that she had much of a choice at this point, with Antony already pressing his palms to the ground. She knelt next to him in preparation.

He closed his eyes and breathed in deeply through his nose. When his eyes snapped open again, Odelle stifled a gasp. They were the color of molten gold, beautiful and captivating and terrifying. Then his skin began to glow, as if the sun were trapped inside him, and the radiance traveled from his eyes down to his fingertips. The Light leaked from him, spiraling out from his hands in whirls and arcs, before shooting out across the ground as far as the eye could see. Antony began panting as the number of gold tendrils on the ground increased until the world around them shone brilliantly.

Still, Odelle’s gaze remained fixed on Antony. Sweat beaded at his temple, and even that shone with Light. He threw his head back as Light poured forth in one more almighty burst, his auburn hair reflecting the color of fire as it was blown back by an imaginary wind.

Then, all the brightness vanished, and Antony began to collapse forward, but Odelle dove for him. Catching him in her arms, she thought desperately of the Sanctuary—of clear skies, sweeping lawns, and elegant white marble. It wasn’t hard with the scent of Antony’s hair filling her senses, smelling like sunshine and gardens.

For one horrifying moment, Odelle thought it hadn’t worked. That Antony’s awe-inspiring display of power had been in vain. Then the world dropped out from under them. As her stomach flew up into her throat from the sudden change in velocity, she crushed Antony to her as hard as she could. She pressed her ear to his chest as they hurtled through the blackness, the familiar satin and sparks running over her body as she listened for a heartbeat. Any lingering resentment she may have held for him evaporated in her need for him to be alive—not to have given his life for hers. She heard a faint lub-dub in his chest as they broke free of the darkness into daylight. She rolled to break Antony’s fall as they tumbled onto lush grass and landed under him, blinking up at a blue sky in relief and astonishment. The dead weight of his body on top of her indicated that he was indeed unconscious, and Odelle rolled them over as gently as she could manage, trying not to let his head loll too forcefully against the ground.

She wavered, unwilling to leave his side to get help but desperately wanting Thad to come tend to him. Her decision was made for her as pounding feet approached. Odelle looked toward the Sanctuary entrance to find a small group of people charging toward them. Nora, brown hair flying and combat boots beating the earth, was in the lead. Tears pricked the back of Odelle’s eyes at the sight. They were safe. They had made it home, and Antony had saved them.