Page 48

Cross struggled with his crutches, fighting to get up the step from his sunken living room and down the hall to the front door.

He knew who was out there. Security alerts and a video doorbell made sure of that.

What he didn’t know was what the hell Rusty was doing on his doorstep.

They’d texted just last night and there’d been no hint of any changes.

He pulled the door open. “What’s wrong?”

“Does something have to be wrong for me to come see my boyfriend?” Rusty shifted the battered backpack on his shoulder. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Cross fought the impulse to pull him close and kiss him.

A blah day was suddenly bright with promise.

And irritation, because WTF? “Some warning would’ve been good.

I might’ve been out.” Not that he went anywhere much.

His physio came to the house, where a room was now well-equipped thanks to Marie buying everything the physio might need and having it delivered without asking.

Cross really only left for medical appointments, but he didn’t need Rusty to know he was that pathetic.

“I have games on my phone. I could’ve waited.” Rusty tilted his head. “Do I get to come in?”

“Sure. Of course.” Cross pulled the door wide.

Rusty smiled as he ducked past but didn’t kiss Cross till the door was shut. Then he caught his shoulders and leaned in slowly.

Fuck slowly. Cross grabbed Rusty’s head between his hands, thumping him on the hip accidentally with a dangling crutch, and hauled him down for an open-mouthed kiss.

The taste of Rusty’s mouth and his living strength under Cross’s hands did something odd to his head, like the world suddenly tuned in brighter and clearer.

Cross kept kissing him, hot and wet, leaning closer, until his ankle twinged from the position shift and he had to clutch Rusty’s arm instead.

Rusty caught him with a quick arm around his waist. “Couch, maybe?”

“Good thought.” He liked that Rusty immediately let go and simply followed his creaky steps to the living room.

Cross sat on the couch, set his crutches to one side, and turned to Rusty. Why is he here? He clenched his teeth, determined to make nice. “Did you fly? Drive? Do you want anything from the kitchen?”

“I’m good. I drove, and I’ve been stuffing myself with junk food and sodas for the last three days. Although, uh, not romantic, but bathroom?”

“Sure.” Cross waved toward the hall. Rusty dropped his pack on the floor and dashed off.

His absence gave Cross time to gather his wits.

Whatever brought Rusty to his door didn’t seem to be a crisis.

He hadn’t kissed like he’d come to break up in person.

He looked strong and healthy and while one could never tell, the chance he was dying of cancer went way low on the list. Are we doom-and-glooming? Yes, we are.

Cross counted to ten a few times, and when Rusty came back and dropped onto the couch beside him with a relieved sigh, Cross managed to ask, “So why are you here?” without sounding like a raging maniac.

“I missed you,” Rusty said, as if it was that simple.

“I missed you too.” Cross tried to let go of his worries. “How long can you stay?”

“Till the season starts?” Rusty’s suddenly tentative tone made that a question. “If that’s okay?”

“With me? I mean, sure, you’re more than welcome.”

“No, dude, I wouldn’t do that. Invite myself to stay without asking? I have a place and a job coaching at a hockey camp for kids. But I do want to hang out, if that’s okay.”

Cross wasn’t sure if he was relieved Rusty wasn’t moving himself in unasked, or mad that Rusty assumed he wasn’t welcome. Bit of both, maybe. “Will you be here in Portland or down in Eugene?”

“Up here. So you can see a lot of me, if you want.” Rusty’s ridiculous eyebrow wiggle added innuendo.

“I want.” Cross couldn’t help a smile. “But I thought you were set on the ranch.”

“Nah. Don’t get me wrong. I love that ranch. But I had a month to hang out with Kris and Nita and the guys. I’m good. This is the only place I want to be.”

Cross reached for Rusty, grabbed his shirt, and kissed him.

A long-restrained part of him reveled in this simplicity— in being able to touch his man with no hesitation and no expectations.

Just this, Rusty’s mouth on his, lips and tongue and a hint of teeth; Rusty’s long fingers closing around Cross’s biceps; the whole big, tall bulk of him right there on Cross’s couch.

“You could stay here,” Cross said when they broke the kiss. “With me, I mean. I’d like it.” He realized how true that was.

But Rusty shook his head. “I’m not here to be your sugar baby. I’ll still be around a lot.”

“You’d have access to the practice ice on the lower level.” Cross tried to sweeten the pot. “I could coach you, even though I can’t get on the ice myself.”

“Can you even get down the stairs?” Rusty gave him a quick kiss. “Nope. I mean, I won’t mind some coaching if we get the chance, but we’re taking it slow. Living in your house isn’t slow. But living two thousand miles away was slow like a glacier. This is the middle ground.”

“All right. If you want.”

“You can come watch the kids at hockey camp sometime,” Rusty offered. “I bet they’d be thrilled to have a real NHLer at practice. Then you can see me on the ice, although playing with preteens.”

“Sure.” The idea of Rusty and kids struck Cross as sweet. He remembered Rusty had siblings back home. “Did you get to see your brothers and sisters at all this visit? Or are your parents still being—” He stopped himself before he said assholes about someone’s mother and finished, “—difficult.”

The way Rusty’s face crumpled made Cross regret being nosy. “Hey, no, you don’t have to tell me.” Cross reached for Rusty. “C’mere.”

Rusty let himself be pulled into a hug. He said against Cross’s neck, “I saw my mom once, in a store. She saw me too, I know she did, and she just turned away and pushed her cart out of sight.”

“I’m so sorry.” Cross smoothed his hand over Rusty’s hair, longer and bleached from the sun.

“Saw my little sisters and brothers too, but they didn’t see me. I rode one of the horses over there, stopped on the hill that looks over our house. They were playing tag in the yard.”

Cross twisted to kiss Rusty’s head. “You didn’t go down?”

“Mom was there, hanging the wash on the line. I didn’t want to hear her tell the kids to get away from me.”

“They don’t deserve you.” Cross worked his arm around Rusty to hug him better. “They do not fucking deserve you.”

“They’re still my parents.”

The raw pain in Rusty’s voice made Cross’s eyes sting. There was no answer to that. Nothing except holding onto Rusty with all his strength.

After a few shuddering breaths, Rusty pulled back. “Sorry, wow. That came out of nowhere. I was supposed to be making you feel better.”

“You let me help. That counts.”

“Okay, yeah.” Rusty rubbed at his eyes. “Moving on, it’s about dinner time. Have you been getting takeout? Do you want to go out somewhere?”

Cross suddenly wanted to get out of his damned house, but… “How long were you in the truck today? Do you really want to do more driving?”

“Uh, twelve hours. I would, though, if you’re up for it.” He didn’t sound eager.

“I’m pretty tired,” Cross lied. “Let’s get takeout.

” He had a meal plan which delivered healthy, nutritious, well-cooked but boring meals to fuel his body in recovery, more scientific than back when his housekeeper cooked for him but less homey.

Tonight, though, with Rusty gorgeous and young and vibrant at his side, he wanted…

“Pizza. Feels like ages since I had any.”

“I could eat pizza.” Rusty grinned. “I remember you nixed olives. I guess you like broccoli, right?”

“How old do you think I am?” Cross would never admit that yes, he liked broccoli.

“As long as you get pepperoni, you can put on all the veggies you want.”

“So generous.”

“I’ll even let you pay for it.”

“I’m overwhelmed.” Cross put a hand over his heart, then got out his phone.

Through dinner and a movie, they steered clear of the emotional stuff by some kind of mutual agreement.

The pizza was greasy and over-topped and totally off Cross’s meal plan, and wonderful.

Having Rusty there grinning and complaining and licking sauce off his fingers was better.

Cross felt himself expanding like a plant that’d been left too long without water, when the rain came at last. He laughed louder, breathed deeper. His whole house seemed brighter.

When they’d finished, Rusty dumped the plates in the sink, and the movie began winding down to an explosive conclusion. Cross hitched himself sideways on the couch to see Rusty properly. “When do you have to go to work?”

“I start at eight tomorrow.” Rusty made a face. “Although that’s ten Kansas time, so I shouldn’t complain, and I get off at four.”

“Tell me about the camp.”

“It’s for disadvantaged kids at a community center.

They do school tutoring and art and sweeten the pot with sports.

Some local friend of Scotty’s asked if he would help out, but of course he’s spending summer on the ranch.

But Scotty called him last week, and they were still short of staff so they said I’d be useful.

” Rusty’s lips twisted for a second in a way Cross couldn’t interpret, but then he brightened and added, “Scotty donated some money for equipment for the kids. I’m not sure we’re doing poor kids a favor, getting them hooked on a sport that costs like hockey, but I guess there’s ways to get grants, if they love it.

Having me there’s not the same as getting a real NHLer, but I hope I can do good. ”

“I’m sure you’ll be great at it.”

“Who knows. Maybe I’ll end up too bossy and make little kids cry.”

“No way. You have a kind heart.”

Rusty ducked his head as if to hide a smile.