Page 183 of Change

“Stand what?” Uncle Caleb raised a white eyebrow. “Idiocy?”

No!Yes.

I wasn’t sure. I didn’t even know how I was talking to him when it was so difficult to look at the others. “E-e-everything.”

“One thing about being an Unseelie—even partially—is being used to the hate,” Uncle Caleb responded. “Or struggling through life, when the odds are stacked against you.” He shrugged. “Everyone knows we’re the least desirable of the fae. Mu’s never been even partially Unseelie before.”

I tried to swallow past the dry lump in my throat.

Was he saying there was no point?

“But fuck them.” The old ghost said this with such a straight face I could only stare at first.

“W-what?”

“Fuck what they think,” he repeated, expression completely serious. “Some people aren’t going to like you no matter what you do, so why bother with what they think? You should do what you feel is right, regardless of what anyone else wants. The people who care about you will support you for being who you are. Take charge of your life and stop wallowing.”

But…

We were speaking of the fae now, right?

All anyone had been telling me was that fae women were expected to behave a certain way, and what we could and couldn’t do. And Uncle Caleb…

Well, he was the most sexist of them all.

“I-I-I’m a g-girl.”

“Yes.” His eyes narrowed and lips thinned, and he cocked his head to the side, studying me with a critical eye. “I’m aware.”

“Y-you said girls are f-frail.”

“No.” Uncle Caleb’s frown deepened. “Do you not understand me when I speak? I said thatmost peopleare weak. I’m anofficer, which makes me stronger than most people. And, since there’s not many women officers, that would obviously mean that most women are weaker than me. A lot of men too.”

That totally wasn’t what he said—at least in no way that a regular person would interpret.

“Ialsosaid that my first perception of you was correct.”

From his critical gaze and snarky tone, I doubted I’d like the answer to my next question. And I was almost sure I knew what it would be. But I couldn’t help but to ask— “A-and what was t-that?”

“You’re inexperienced and untrained.” Uncle Caleb crossed his arms. “Not to mention whiny and annoying. I admit you being the Xing threw me off, and—I admit—I might have fallen into old cultural habits for a moment in my initial reaction. Blame it on my upbringing. But, still, my initial impression was correct: you’re tougher than most people, and not frail and delicate in any way. You’re strong.”

I wasn’t even sure if this was a compliment. “T-that’s why you’re a j-jerk? Y-you were nice to M-Michelle,” I reminded him. He’d been so concerned about her ‘delicate sensibilities’ after he learned she’d found his dead body.

Then he finally yelled at me. “Because she’s not you! Don’t hold a grudge because I’mhonest.” Uncle Caleb grabbed his cane and struck the edge to the floor. “You and Michelle Nolan aren’t even on the same playing field in terms of strength; or would you rather I cater to this delicate façade that you’re pushing?”

I tried not to flinch at the sudden motion from him and studied my fingers instead. My hands didn’t look anything other than thin and fragile, even with my half-chipped manicure. And at his words, I became even more aware of my attire. The edges of my lace nightgown tickled my ankles, and I pulled at the bottom, tucking my exposed toes under the fabric.

How could I explain?

“B-but I like…” My words trailed off.

Uncle Caleb pointed his cane at me. Even without finishing my question, he seemed to understand my dilemma. “Aren’t they teaching you anything at all in school these days? You can enjoy your girly nonsense and be strong. No one said that femininity means that you can’t have an iota of common sense. By all means, wear your frilly dresses, lipstick, bows, and the awful pointy shoes that’ll cause you to break your ankles. No one is stopping you. But don’t let them assume you’re a wallflower.”

I sucked in a breath, unable to tear my gaze from the cane. This felt surreal. Why was I having a discussion on feminism with Uncle Caleb anyway? How had my life come to this?

But was he wrong?

“You’reMu,” he continued. “You’re fae. You’re Unseelie. You’re not supposed to give a flying shit what other people think. You’re the only one limiting yourself, and it has nothing to do with you being a woman. Now you go in there and tell them what’s going to happen, and no one—not even my idiot brother andFinbar—can say otherwise.”